I'm generally a very angry person, and yet...
It's more of a festering, bottled up sort of general rage at the state of the universe. I'm certain to have given overmuch insight into that previously, and in any case, being 25 now, teenage angst is behind me (and the glorification of it we know as 'emo' is slowly washing off). Thus this post is not about it, but rather its absence.
Let me tell you a story.
A gentleman walks into the club today while I was on the phone who set my spidey sense tingling. Any male not obviously engaged in some crude or illegal act I will immediately assume is a gentleman and treat him accordingly, while at work. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, because it's better to be safe than sorry, but asked one of my questions designed remove doubt from my mind, namely: "... Just off to [plausible, existing department name]...? Much more important than the answer given is how the answer is given. He gave an answer typical of people used to barging into places, but which, given our clientele, does not set alarm bells ringing: namely, agree dismissively, and continue barging in. I hadn't played all my surreptitious cards by that point, so I watched to see which elevator button he would push.
BANG. Not the correct one.
The elevator doors closed, so I ran up the stairs, on a mission to ensure no mischief came to be done. I walked past the open elevator on level one with him inside, which confirmed my theory of his position on The List, but I was too late, so I went up to level two, faster.
To say he was not pleased to see me is along the same lines of my aikido sempai saying "... and when you twist the arm like so... partner will quickly feel the urge to sit down."
So there was lots of shouting, lots of swearing, and lots of threatening. If I would go to step into the elevator with him, he would step out and make for the stairs. If I would make to follow him to the stairs, he would make for the elevator. He once stepped aggressively towards me (well, more aggressively) and I found myself suddenly in a nice stance, which I am pleased about. He apparently wasn't impressed, however, and expressed himself quite eloquently on the subject, vis. "What's that shit? I'll have you on the floor in two seconds." Two seconds later, I was still upright. Eventually the elevator got sick of this to-ing and fro-ing, and went to play somewhere else, so his only recourse was the stairwell.
More yelling and threatening ensues. Apparently, being a metre-and-a-half behind him, facing his back was "in his face". He really was unhappy with my escort, but the chances of me leaving someone in that state to their own devices in the club are exactly zero, so I persisted. Down the stairs we went, two steps down, pause for confrontation, one step back, pause for confrontation, two ...
This is where I receive my shove. On the stairs. Well, I know how to take a shove, and he achieves nothing.
Throughout this whole event, I have not uttered an aggressive word or indeed raised my voice. The only aggressive action I took was to ready myself for defence (the best offence is a good defence, ha ha). Neither do I, however, back down.
It is reasonably interesting to me that I never get to take part in physical confrontations when I am feeling aggressive. Whenever anyone tries to pick a fight with me I never let them. Even when struck, I do not respond aggressively. In my mind, it's just a punch, just a shove- big deal, I can take it.
If someone looked like they were going to sustain an attack, I suppose I would be forced to respond in kind.
I don't know. Sometimes I think I'm too slow on the uptake, like I'm supposed to go into aggro mode when someone tries something, but I guess it's just not me. Certainly, this generally results in a surprise round for the ...
You know, I've spent four hours on this post (I'm at work) and I can't be bothered any more. Make of me what you will.
If you're hoping to hear how it ended, he shoved me, I didn't retaliate, he started off down the stairs, someone from the club joined us, I guess he didn't feel like taking us both on, although his bluster would tell a different story. I attempted to diffuse the two of them (they took great offense to each other), and when he stepped outside the door to continue yelling insults I went over to my desk and flipped the switch which disables the motion sensors on the door, causing it to close.
Somehow, I view my apparently pacifistic nature as failure.
Let me tell you a story.
A gentleman walks into the club today while I was on the phone who set my spidey sense tingling. Any male not obviously engaged in some crude or illegal act I will immediately assume is a gentleman and treat him accordingly, while at work. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, because it's better to be safe than sorry, but asked one of my questions designed remove doubt from my mind, namely: "... Just off to [plausible, existing department name]...? Much more important than the answer given is how the answer is given. He gave an answer typical of people used to barging into places, but which, given our clientele, does not set alarm bells ringing: namely, agree dismissively, and continue barging in. I hadn't played all my surreptitious cards by that point, so I watched to see which elevator button he would push.
BANG. Not the correct one.
The elevator doors closed, so I ran up the stairs, on a mission to ensure no mischief came to be done. I walked past the open elevator on level one with him inside, which confirmed my theory of his position on The List, but I was too late, so I went up to level two, faster.
To say he was not pleased to see me is along the same lines of my aikido sempai saying "... and when you twist the arm like so... partner will quickly feel the urge to sit down."
So there was lots of shouting, lots of swearing, and lots of threatening. If I would go to step into the elevator with him, he would step out and make for the stairs. If I would make to follow him to the stairs, he would make for the elevator. He once stepped aggressively towards me (well, more aggressively) and I found myself suddenly in a nice stance, which I am pleased about. He apparently wasn't impressed, however, and expressed himself quite eloquently on the subject, vis. "What's that shit? I'll have you on the floor in two seconds." Two seconds later, I was still upright. Eventually the elevator got sick of this to-ing and fro-ing, and went to play somewhere else, so his only recourse was the stairwell.
More yelling and threatening ensues. Apparently, being a metre-and-a-half behind him, facing his back was "in his face". He really was unhappy with my escort, but the chances of me leaving someone in that state to their own devices in the club are exactly zero, so I persisted. Down the stairs we went, two steps down, pause for confrontation, one step back, pause for confrontation, two ...
This is where I receive my shove. On the stairs. Well, I know how to take a shove, and he achieves nothing.
Throughout this whole event, I have not uttered an aggressive word or indeed raised my voice. The only aggressive action I took was to ready myself for defence (the best offence is a good defence, ha ha). Neither do I, however, back down.
It is reasonably interesting to me that I never get to take part in physical confrontations when I am feeling aggressive. Whenever anyone tries to pick a fight with me I never let them. Even when struck, I do not respond aggressively. In my mind, it's just a punch, just a shove- big deal, I can take it.
If someone looked like they were going to sustain an attack, I suppose I would be forced to respond in kind.
I don't know. Sometimes I think I'm too slow on the uptake, like I'm supposed to go into aggro mode when someone tries something, but I guess it's just not me. Certainly, this generally results in a surprise round for the ...
You know, I've spent four hours on this post (I'm at work) and I can't be bothered any more. Make of me what you will.
If you're hoping to hear how it ended, he shoved me, I didn't retaliate, he started off down the stairs, someone from the club joined us, I guess he didn't feel like taking us both on, although his bluster would tell a different story. I attempted to diffuse the two of them (they took great offense to each other), and when he stepped outside the door to continue yelling insults I went over to my desk and flipped the switch which disables the motion sensors on the door, causing it to close.
Somehow, I view my apparently pacifistic nature as failure.