Things I'd Never Thought I'd Say
Today, at the bookstore, I was accosted by the most wonderful, adorable children on the planet. Before I'd yet had a customer, the first tot (barely able to form a sentence) was stumbling through the door, with his father chasing after.
TOT: I want stories!
FRAZZLED PARENT: But you mother is waiting for us at the coffee shop...
TOT: I want stories!
FRAZZLED PARENT: And I want coffee!
ME: Come here, small human child, and I will read you a story!
TOT (wailing as he is dragged away): I WANT STORY!
Barely an hour later, a slightly older, rather precocious, blonde girl was seen hovering in the doorway.
GIRL: Daddy, can I get a book?
DADDY: No, we're going for breakfast right now.
GIRL: But can I please just have a look?
DADDY: Not right now; I'm hungry.
GIRL (loading on the charm): Pleeeeeeeeeeease?
ME: I have some lovely books about princesses for you! They get to kill the dragons, rather than those loser knights!
GIRL: Pleeeeeeeease, Daddy? I'm a princess, can I kill the dragons?
Alas, Daddy was not to be persuaded, and I lost another impressionable youngster to the café next door. All of my suffering, however, was not in vain, because a regular brought in his daughters. I did not have to instruct his daughters in the Ways of the Spunky Fantasy Heroine, for they already knew. All I had to do was point them to the books they wanted and smile benevolently.
If all the children in the world were like this, I wouldn't mind them at all! Alas, I am not so deluded as to believe this possible.
It was a strange experience, and has left me feeling faint. I believe I shall have to acquire some smelling salts.
TOT: I want stories!
FRAZZLED PARENT: But you mother is waiting for us at the coffee shop...
TOT: I want stories!
FRAZZLED PARENT: And I want coffee!
ME: Come here, small human child, and I will read you a story!
TOT (wailing as he is dragged away): I WANT STORY!
Barely an hour later, a slightly older, rather precocious, blonde girl was seen hovering in the doorway.
GIRL: Daddy, can I get a book?
DADDY: No, we're going for breakfast right now.
GIRL: But can I please just have a look?
DADDY: Not right now; I'm hungry.
GIRL (loading on the charm): Pleeeeeeeeeeease?
ME: I have some lovely books about princesses for you! They get to kill the dragons, rather than those loser knights!
GIRL: Pleeeeeeeease, Daddy? I'm a princess, can I kill the dragons?
Alas, Daddy was not to be persuaded, and I lost another impressionable youngster to the café next door. All of my suffering, however, was not in vain, because a regular brought in his daughters. I did not have to instruct his daughters in the Ways of the Spunky Fantasy Heroine, for they already knew. All I had to do was point them to the books they wanted and smile benevolently.
If all the children in the world were like this, I wouldn't mind them at all! Alas, I am not so deluded as to believe this possible.
It was a strange experience, and has left me feeling faint. I believe I shall have to acquire some smelling salts.