Some thoughts on OotP... and my fantastically fabulous haircut
First off, I would just like to get it out there that my girl-crush on Helena Bonham Carter kind of exploded tonight. (Along with my bladder after the usual application of an extra-large diet Coke in the previews.) I am a little bit in love with her. Also, between Umbridge's pink fixation, Shacklebolt's freakish purple hat, Petunia's dress-like thing, and Molly Weasley in general, this movie had the largest coagulation of fashion sense gone awry that I have ever seen. Not to mention that Gary Oldman should wear a bloody shirt.
That said, I had my hair done today, so it is back to being a gorgeous unfaded red and I have a fringe. I was terrified to see how it would turn out since I haven't had one since I was about seven and I was worried that it would take me back to that age, but the consensus between Boyfriend and me is that it is rather Anne Hathaway-esque, Which is quite all right with me, as long as my grandmother doesn't suddenly decide to inform me that she is actually the ruler of a small, fictional European country and that my father has died, making me the heir. That would be a teensy bit cliché, don't you think?
But on to the new Harry Potter movie.
I like to think that there are certain benefits to attending movies alone: one can concentrate properly on the plot without the temptation to keep a running commentary going throughout the important bits (verbally, at least), whilst being entertained by the odd looks coming from either side when one's neighbours recognise that the person next to them is actually alone. It also eliminates the need to find multiple seats together upon entering the packed theatre. However, it unfortunately prevented me from being able to ask someone when they started showing mini making-of documentaries of films before the previews instead of those little multiple-choice quizzes.
As for the trailers... The next six months are going to be a fantasy geek's dream. Stardust, The Golden Compass, and now The Dark is Rising? I am thrilled.
Anyway... To be completely honest, Order of the Phoenix (book) is my least favourite installment so far, to the point where I read it once and have never managed to pick it up again, except to do some minor fact checking, so my canon knowledge in this situation is shaky at best. (I read up on people's spoilers before going so that I would know which bits were from the book and which bits weren't to avoid confusion.) With this in mind, onward.
I liked the beginning a lot, actually. Gangsta!Dudley was pathetically amusing, and I was glad that we got to see his cronies, although they went a little bit extreme on the pathetic fallacy in the playground (and in the rest of the movie, to be completely honest). Yes, the dementors are creepy, but that doesn't mean they're going to bring about a hurricane. The scene in the Dursleys' house was pure comic gold, from Vernon in the ice cream to Petunia's dress-like concoction (I'm still not entirely sure what it was supposed to be) and her fake 'n' bake situation. I also quite enjoyed the weatherman.
Had moment of: LONDON!!! Why must I wait until next summer before I can visit it?
Fast-forward to 12 Grimmauld Place, in which scene the audience is treated to a tiny glimpse of an Order meeting. If one looks closely, he and/or she may be able to spot that Remus Lupin appears to be entangled in Sirius Black, thus raising the eternal question: Everyone knows that Dark Revels are giant orgies in which we see Malfoys indulging in sexual acts that may not be mentioned in polite society, but are Order meetings the Light Side's equivalent? There have to be some perks besides attempting to better society, otherwise any and all attempts to redeem Lucius will go to waste. And, erm, what were Ron and Hermione doing alone in a bedroom with a king-sized bed and horrible matching striped shirts? Vomit.
Ministry of Magic scene made me think of Orwell. Creepy poster of Fudge as a stand-in for Big Brother, anyone?
Lovely brief moment involving the Paris Hilton wig. I sat up significantly straighter here. Also, more Kingsley Shacklebolt in funny hat.
The trial, in brief:
Fudge: *shoves head up arse*
Harry: Voldie's back, bitch!
Fudge: *shoves head further up arse*
Umbridge: Hem hem. Hem.
Dumbledore: *kicks Fudge's head, which is now permanently lodged in arse, then proceeds to shove his own head up arse*
Harry: Dumbledore, why don't you understand me?
I love Michael Gambon as Dumbledore. Richard Harris was lovely, bless him, but he just wasn't dotty enough.
Luna is, in my opinion, the best casting decision that they've made out of any of the students. I've never really paid much attention to her in any of the books, but it makes me want to reread them just to pick her bits out. Not to mention that her hair is absolutely gorgeous (they must be extensions) and I may be converted to shipping Harry/Luna in a hardcore sort of fashion-it seemed like the powers of the film industry were emphasising some sort of connection between the two.
Skip to bit with lots of food. Imelda Staunton is frighteningly good at playing Umbridge, and I felt the need to check behind me to make sure that there wasn't a creepy woman in excessive amounts of pink sitting behind me in the theatre. (It was a group of annoying teenagers who wouldn't bloody shut up, but I can't decide if that was preferable...) Harry's detention was downright disturbing, especially the bit where she tries to convince him that he deserves to be punished.
Her interrogations were probably her highlight-the way that they were intersected, combined with Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman being absolutely hilarious almost killed me.
The first DA meeting led to a lot of cringing; Daniel Radcliffe should sign a contract promising to never take up motivational speaking later in life, especially not when in character. The scenes where he was teaching came across as unbearably condescending (although Nigel was positively adorable) to the point where I probably would have slapped him if I had been one of those people. I also didn't like that they took out Hermione's secrecy charm-at least they kept in the centaurs. Interesting to see what all the patronuses (patroni?) are, though. Important and revealing, perhaps?
Arthur vs Nagini in a nutshell:
Voldie: Im in ur dreams controlling your mind.
Harry: *moans*
Arthur: *is possibly having some sort of glandular problem that results in an excess of sweat*
Nagini:Hiiissssss...
Harry: I can totally speak Parseltongue, but I didn't catch a word of that. Mind repeating yourself?
Arthur: *crumples into heap*
Harry (waking up): I just killed Arthur Weasley!
Ron: That's okay, mate. As long as you avoid the capslock key in your conversations, I'm fine with you. Also, I hope you're okay with the way that I sit here and stare at you while you're sleeping. Your nightmares are kind of hot.
Harry: No problem. But back to your father being dead... Should we maybe tell Dumbledore, ignoring the fact that he's been ignoring me, of course.
Dumbledore: La! Hello, tiny portrait, let me give you instructions...
McGonagall (tousled): Shit, he's talking to the pictures again. We could be here a while.
Harry: TAKE YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ARSE AND LOOK AT ME!
Me: Oh, thank god. The scriptwriter found the capslock key at last.
Snape (appearing out of nowhere): Right, Potter, I'm grabbing you by the scruff of your neck and dragging you off to my private dungeon where I shall violate your... mind.
Harry: Right-o!
I kind of forget the dialogue of the next little bit, because my obsession with frock coats was being revived and resulting in much drool. I do recall a really random Christmas scene, but no hospital visit, and then this:
Harry: All these things are happening to me, and I'm getting these feelings... I don't understand, I'm just so angry. Do you think that I'm going...bad?
Sirius: Harry, you're not bad. Just a little naughty, but that's all right because that's how I like my boys. Naughty and underage. *leans in closer* Harry, let me fuck you against Cousin Bella on this tapestry. Unless, of course, you would prefer dear Narcissa.
Me: *blinks screen back into focus* Really must stop daydreaming...
The Occlumency lesson where Harry sees Snape's memory was... I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm annoyed that there was no pensieve, but since they've cut out every other pensieve scene so far, it sort of makes sense. Still, how the hell did Harry manage to get into Snape's mind that easily, when Snape is clearly a superior occlumens? Continuity, people. Was also very busy memorising every square millimetre of the frock coat.
Filler bits: What was wrong with Fred and George's swamp? Fireworks are so tremendously overdone. Honestly.
Hermione scares me, which is nice. I'd really really want her on my side.
Umbridge also frightens me, but for different reasons. It takes a special sort of person to put up with that much pink.
Grawp was the epitome of everything cheesy about CGI, and yet I thought he was incredibly cute. Only Ron would be jealous of a giant-if he isn't smart enough for her, then, really, why would a giant be superior? Not to mention that that first time would be particularly painful.
I'm definitely on the bandwagon of Umbridge-was-raped-by-centaurs, after the movie interpretation. I think it was the arrow imagery that put me over the edge... Very violent and phallic.
And then we have the Department of Mysteries bit. By this point, my bladder was essentially bursting, so the bouncing in my seat was partially due to this, but mostly because of the combination of Jason Issacs and Helena Bonham Carter. The Lucius wig appeared to have had its ends trimmed (had debate earlier today with
thehalflie about whether Malfoys get split ends), but I was otherwise completely enthralled. I'm a sucker for scenes with insane amounts of special effects, and this delivered very nicely (although the DD/Voldie showdown was more of a pissing contest than an actual battle, and whatever happed to the "things worse than death" line)...
If anything, watching this made me pick out all the reasons that Dumbledore is a manipulative, misguided bastard. His explanation at the end of the movie was even more lame than the one at the end of the book, and if I were Harry, there would be a lot more of the capslock key going on in that scene. In the words of
thehalflie, "Let's torture the poor orphan and keep him in the dark by not telling him anything about his family, except when it serves some sort of plot purpose and traumatise him even more!" (I paraphrased.)
Anyway, having come to the conclusion after the first movie that no Harry Potter movie will ever be equal to the book, so there is no point in trying to compare them, I'll just say that as a movie, it was decent. You just have to read the book first so that you can understand what the hell is going on. However, if you don't feel like spending money on the movie but would like some Potter-related entertainment, you can always go here and contemplate the many merits of waxing one's eyebrows.
That said, I had my hair done today, so it is back to being a gorgeous unfaded red and I have a fringe. I was terrified to see how it would turn out since I haven't had one since I was about seven and I was worried that it would take me back to that age, but the consensus between Boyfriend and me is that it is rather Anne Hathaway-esque, Which is quite all right with me, as long as my grandmother doesn't suddenly decide to inform me that she is actually the ruler of a small, fictional European country and that my father has died, making me the heir. That would be a teensy bit cliché, don't you think?
But on to the new Harry Potter movie.
I like to think that there are certain benefits to attending movies alone: one can concentrate properly on the plot without the temptation to keep a running commentary going throughout the important bits (verbally, at least), whilst being entertained by the odd looks coming from either side when one's neighbours recognise that the person next to them is actually alone. It also eliminates the need to find multiple seats together upon entering the packed theatre. However, it unfortunately prevented me from being able to ask someone when they started showing mini making-of documentaries of films before the previews instead of those little multiple-choice quizzes.
As for the trailers... The next six months are going to be a fantasy geek's dream. Stardust, The Golden Compass, and now The Dark is Rising? I am thrilled.
Anyway... To be completely honest, Order of the Phoenix (book) is my least favourite installment so far, to the point where I read it once and have never managed to pick it up again, except to do some minor fact checking, so my canon knowledge in this situation is shaky at best. (I read up on people's spoilers before going so that I would know which bits were from the book and which bits weren't to avoid confusion.) With this in mind, onward.
I liked the beginning a lot, actually. Gangsta!Dudley was pathetically amusing, and I was glad that we got to see his cronies, although they went a little bit extreme on the pathetic fallacy in the playground (and in the rest of the movie, to be completely honest). Yes, the dementors are creepy, but that doesn't mean they're going to bring about a hurricane. The scene in the Dursleys' house was pure comic gold, from Vernon in the ice cream to Petunia's dress-like concoction (I'm still not entirely sure what it was supposed to be) and her fake 'n' bake situation. I also quite enjoyed the weatherman.
Had moment of: LONDON!!! Why must I wait until next summer before I can visit it?
Fast-forward to 12 Grimmauld Place, in which scene the audience is treated to a tiny glimpse of an Order meeting. If one looks closely, he and/or she may be able to spot that Remus Lupin appears to be entangled in Sirius Black, thus raising the eternal question: Everyone knows that Dark Revels are giant orgies in which we see Malfoys indulging in sexual acts that may not be mentioned in polite society, but are Order meetings the Light Side's equivalent? There have to be some perks besides attempting to better society, otherwise any and all attempts to redeem Lucius will go to waste. And, erm, what were Ron and Hermione doing alone in a bedroom with a king-sized bed and horrible matching striped shirts? Vomit.
Ministry of Magic scene made me think of Orwell. Creepy poster of Fudge as a stand-in for Big Brother, anyone?
Lovely brief moment involving the Paris Hilton wig. I sat up significantly straighter here. Also, more Kingsley Shacklebolt in funny hat.
The trial, in brief:
Fudge: *shoves head up arse*
Harry: Voldie's back, bitch!
Fudge: *shoves head further up arse*
Umbridge: Hem hem. Hem.
Dumbledore: *kicks Fudge's head, which is now permanently lodged in arse, then proceeds to shove his own head up arse*
Harry: Dumbledore, why don't you understand me?
I love Michael Gambon as Dumbledore. Richard Harris was lovely, bless him, but he just wasn't dotty enough.
Luna is, in my opinion, the best casting decision that they've made out of any of the students. I've never really paid much attention to her in any of the books, but it makes me want to reread them just to pick her bits out. Not to mention that her hair is absolutely gorgeous (they must be extensions) and I may be converted to shipping Harry/Luna in a hardcore sort of fashion-it seemed like the powers of the film industry were emphasising some sort of connection between the two.
Skip to bit with lots of food. Imelda Staunton is frighteningly good at playing Umbridge, and I felt the need to check behind me to make sure that there wasn't a creepy woman in excessive amounts of pink sitting behind me in the theatre. (It was a group of annoying teenagers who wouldn't bloody shut up, but I can't decide if that was preferable...) Harry's detention was downright disturbing, especially the bit where she tries to convince him that he deserves to be punished.
Her interrogations were probably her highlight-the way that they were intersected, combined with Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman being absolutely hilarious almost killed me.
The first DA meeting led to a lot of cringing; Daniel Radcliffe should sign a contract promising to never take up motivational speaking later in life, especially not when in character. The scenes where he was teaching came across as unbearably condescending (although Nigel was positively adorable) to the point where I probably would have slapped him if I had been one of those people. I also didn't like that they took out Hermione's secrecy charm-at least they kept in the centaurs. Interesting to see what all the patronuses (patroni?) are, though. Important and revealing, perhaps?
Arthur vs Nagini in a nutshell:
Voldie: Im in ur dreams controlling your mind.
Harry: *moans*
Arthur: *is possibly having some sort of glandular problem that results in an excess of sweat*
Nagini:Hiiissssss...
Harry: I can totally speak Parseltongue, but I didn't catch a word of that. Mind repeating yourself?
Arthur: *crumples into heap*
Harry (waking up): I just killed Arthur Weasley!
Ron: That's okay, mate. As long as you avoid the capslock key in your conversations, I'm fine with you. Also, I hope you're okay with the way that I sit here and stare at you while you're sleeping. Your nightmares are kind of hot.
Harry: No problem. But back to your father being dead... Should we maybe tell Dumbledore, ignoring the fact that he's been ignoring me, of course.
Dumbledore: La! Hello, tiny portrait, let me give you instructions...
McGonagall (tousled): Shit, he's talking to the pictures again. We could be here a while.
Harry: TAKE YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ARSE AND LOOK AT ME!
Me: Oh, thank god. The scriptwriter found the capslock key at last.
Snape (appearing out of nowhere): Right, Potter, I'm grabbing you by the scruff of your neck and dragging you off to my private dungeon where I shall violate your... mind.
Harry: Right-o!
I kind of forget the dialogue of the next little bit, because my obsession with frock coats was being revived and resulting in much drool. I do recall a really random Christmas scene, but no hospital visit, and then this:
Harry: All these things are happening to me, and I'm getting these feelings... I don't understand, I'm just so angry. Do you think that I'm going...bad?
Sirius: Harry, you're not bad. Just a little naughty, but that's all right because that's how I like my boys. Naughty and underage. *leans in closer* Harry, let me fuck you against Cousin Bella on this tapestry. Unless, of course, you would prefer dear Narcissa.
Me: *blinks screen back into focus* Really must stop daydreaming...
The Occlumency lesson where Harry sees Snape's memory was... I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm annoyed that there was no pensieve, but since they've cut out every other pensieve scene so far, it sort of makes sense. Still, how the hell did Harry manage to get into Snape's mind that easily, when Snape is clearly a superior occlumens? Continuity, people. Was also very busy memorising every square millimetre of the frock coat.
Filler bits: What was wrong with Fred and George's swamp? Fireworks are so tremendously overdone. Honestly.
Hermione scares me, which is nice. I'd really really want her on my side.
Umbridge also frightens me, but for different reasons. It takes a special sort of person to put up with that much pink.
Grawp was the epitome of everything cheesy about CGI, and yet I thought he was incredibly cute. Only Ron would be jealous of a giant-if he isn't smart enough for her, then, really, why would a giant be superior? Not to mention that that first time would be particularly painful.
I'm definitely on the bandwagon of Umbridge-was-raped-by-centaurs, after the movie interpretation. I think it was the arrow imagery that put me over the edge... Very violent and phallic.
And then we have the Department of Mysteries bit. By this point, my bladder was essentially bursting, so the bouncing in my seat was partially due to this, but mostly because of the combination of Jason Issacs and Helena Bonham Carter. The Lucius wig appeared to have had its ends trimmed (had debate earlier today with
thehalflie about whether Malfoys get split ends), but I was otherwise completely enthralled. I'm a sucker for scenes with insane amounts of special effects, and this delivered very nicely (although the DD/Voldie showdown was more of a pissing contest than an actual battle, and whatever happed to the "things worse than death" line)...
If anything, watching this made me pick out all the reasons that Dumbledore is a manipulative, misguided bastard. His explanation at the end of the movie was even more lame than the one at the end of the book, and if I were Harry, there would be a lot more of the capslock key going on in that scene. In the words of
thehalflie, "Let's torture the poor orphan and keep him in the dark by not telling him anything about his family, except when it serves some sort of plot purpose and traumatise him even more!" (I paraphrased.)
Anyway, having come to the conclusion after the first movie that no Harry Potter movie will ever be equal to the book, so there is no point in trying to compare them, I'll just say that as a movie, it was decent. You just have to read the book first so that you can understand what the hell is going on. However, if you don't feel like spending money on the movie but would like some Potter-related entertainment, you can always go here and contemplate the many merits of waxing one's eyebrows.