Top 5 Movie Vehicle
Catching up on Filmspotting again, and they reviewed Drive with Ryan Gosling (my short take on it until later: damn fine arthouse flick, but brace yourself for some pretty intense violence in spots). In tandem with the review, they also did a countdown of their Top 5 Movie Vehicles. The criteria they used was that cars/vehicles were ok, though they ruled out muscle cars (the Mustang from Bullitt, the Dodge Charger from Vanishing Point/Death Proof, Smokey's Trans Am from Smokey and the Bandit). Those would constitute a top 5 all their own.
I thought that was an interesting starting point, but in trying to make a list of my own I made a couple of tweaks. To qualify for my list it had to meet the following criteria:
So what would make my top 5 dream rides? Well...
#5 The power loader from Aliens
Is it primarily a mode of transport? Well, it lets the user transport cargo just about anywhere they want. Never mind the way Ripley kicks the alien queen's ass at the end of the movie, I just want this thing to be able to go around downtown at night when parking is scarce and charge people $20 a pop to move cars that aren't parked properly between the lines or just facilitate parallel parking for people who can't fit into the spaces on their own. And that's just the practical/entrepreneurial potential. This thing is just wicked cool, or it would be if the thing really existed.
#4 The Gunstar from The Last Starfighter
This is by my own admission a purely sentimental choice. I loved, loved, loved this movie as a kid. When it first came out, the arcade in Cielo Vista Mall in El Paso where I grew up had a contest going. You scored above a certain benchmark score on different games, you won various tchotchkes from the movie. I busted my ass on a game (I don't recall which) to get the necessary score to take home the full sized movie poster. That thing hung on my way from when I won it until we moved from El Paso to Kingwood, so at least 2 years. If Hollywood is going to be unoriginal and remake/adapt everything that's already been done before, this movie I would love to see get redone just to see what they'd do with the Gunstar and Death Blossom with modern effects tech. Cheesy flick, but great 80s fun if you ask me.
#3 The Light Runner from Tron: Legacy
I love Tron: Legacy even for its flaws rather than in spite of them. I think anyone who says it sucks compared to the original really needs to go back and watch the original with an open mind and a critical eye. The dialogue in the real world is horrible, hamstrung by people trying to talk about computers to an audience that only had the most fleeting familiarity with the technology. In the digital world, the dialogue isn't much better but it gets the story across well enough.
The original Tron was really more about the then ground breaking visuals, and Tron: Legacy upped the ante on those visuals in a way that really made my geek heart sing. The reimagined light cycles were wicked awesome and if I'd won the lottery before the movie came out I would have even stood a chance of owning one. The light jets were equally cool, but the light runner, part hot rod fantasy part off-road four-wheeler, was one of a kind in the movie. I'd kill to have the American Chopper peeps take apart and old Dodge Prowler or something similar, mate it with a dune buggy or jeep chassis and come up with one of these in real life.
#2 The Millenium Falcon from Star Wars
There's a reason why this isn't number 1, but as a number 2 it's really hard to go wrong. It is the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy and did make the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs. Seriously, you just know this was the kind of vehicle that Han was trolling for chicks with. Hey baby...want to take a ride in my love machine!
And at this point, some of my friends are having aneurysms over my defaming a sacred vehicle. I can feel like I've accomplished something in my life.
So what would that leave as #1 in my book?
#1 The Jaguar Hearse from Harold & Maude
If you've never seen Harold & Maude, you're really missing out. This is a brilliant black comedy from the 1970s, with Ruth Gordon as the most vibrant and lively senior citizen you've ever seen. Her counterpart is Bud Cort as a privileged rich kid who has had everything handed to him throughout life and becomes obsessed with death as a means of escape. When his parents give him a new Jaguar XJE, he customizes it as only he could.
As messed up as it is to have that back half looking like a hearse, I can't help but smile every time I look at these pics. When the car comes out in the movie I was howling. It's a pretty brilliant piece of twisted work. And it's very possible I could pay someone to make one of these but it still feels like a 100% original.
Honorary mentions include the Orca from Jaws, the DeLorean from Back to the Future, the broomsticks from Harry Potter, Captain America's motorcycle from Easy Rider, and the Serenity from Serenity. Any other you might suggest in the comments are welcome.
I thought that was an interesting starting point, but in trying to make a list of my own I made a couple of tweaks. To qualify for my list it had to meet the following criteria:
- It can't be something I could walk into a store and buy off the lot. James Bond's Aston Martin is wicked awesome, but it's also bleeping product placement which I have zero patience for really. And being able to buy it for myself off the lot sort of dampens down the fantasy aspect of putting a list like this together. I could say no to the Mini Coopers in The Italian Job as product placement, but I can still get my hands on one of the classic models from the original version of that film as well. So no go in my eyes.
- The vehicle had to elicit some kind of strong reaction from me in the movie. There has to be some kind of "Damn, I'd love to take that for ride!" or "Oh my GOD, get that thing away from me!" reaction spawned by the vehicle's presence in the movie. The former reaction is wide open to interpretation. The latter reaction was epitomized by Brea talking about the Green Goblin faced semi in Maximum Overdrive.
- It counts if it functions at least half the time as a mode of transport of some sort. Iron Man's armor or the jet pack from The Rocketeer are fair game, though neither makes my list.
So what would make my top 5 dream rides? Well...
#5 The power loader from Aliens
Click to viewIs it primarily a mode of transport? Well, it lets the user transport cargo just about anywhere they want. Never mind the way Ripley kicks the alien queen's ass at the end of the movie, I just want this thing to be able to go around downtown at night when parking is scarce and charge people $20 a pop to move cars that aren't parked properly between the lines or just facilitate parallel parking for people who can't fit into the spaces on their own. And that's just the practical/entrepreneurial potential. This thing is just wicked cool, or it would be if the thing really existed.
#4 The Gunstar from The Last Starfighter
This is by my own admission a purely sentimental choice. I loved, loved, loved this movie as a kid. When it first came out, the arcade in Cielo Vista Mall in El Paso where I grew up had a contest going. You scored above a certain benchmark score on different games, you won various tchotchkes from the movie. I busted my ass on a game (I don't recall which) to get the necessary score to take home the full sized movie poster. That thing hung on my way from when I won it until we moved from El Paso to Kingwood, so at least 2 years. If Hollywood is going to be unoriginal and remake/adapt everything that's already been done before, this movie I would love to see get redone just to see what they'd do with the Gunstar and Death Blossom with modern effects tech. Cheesy flick, but great 80s fun if you ask me.
#3 The Light Runner from Tron: Legacy
I love Tron: Legacy even for its flaws rather than in spite of them. I think anyone who says it sucks compared to the original really needs to go back and watch the original with an open mind and a critical eye. The dialogue in the real world is horrible, hamstrung by people trying to talk about computers to an audience that only had the most fleeting familiarity with the technology. In the digital world, the dialogue isn't much better but it gets the story across well enough.
The original Tron was really more about the then ground breaking visuals, and Tron: Legacy upped the ante on those visuals in a way that really made my geek heart sing. The reimagined light cycles were wicked awesome and if I'd won the lottery before the movie came out I would have even stood a chance of owning one. The light jets were equally cool, but the light runner, part hot rod fantasy part off-road four-wheeler, was one of a kind in the movie. I'd kill to have the American Chopper peeps take apart and old Dodge Prowler or something similar, mate it with a dune buggy or jeep chassis and come up with one of these in real life.
#2 The Millenium Falcon from Star Wars
There's a reason why this isn't number 1, but as a number 2 it's really hard to go wrong. It is the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy and did make the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs. Seriously, you just know this was the kind of vehicle that Han was trolling for chicks with. Hey baby...want to take a ride in my love machine!
And at this point, some of my friends are having aneurysms over my defaming a sacred vehicle. I can feel like I've accomplished something in my life.
So what would that leave as #1 in my book?
#1 The Jaguar Hearse from Harold & Maude
If you've never seen Harold & Maude, you're really missing out. This is a brilliant black comedy from the 1970s, with Ruth Gordon as the most vibrant and lively senior citizen you've ever seen. Her counterpart is Bud Cort as a privileged rich kid who has had everything handed to him throughout life and becomes obsessed with death as a means of escape. When his parents give him a new Jaguar XJE, he customizes it as only he could.
As messed up as it is to have that back half looking like a hearse, I can't help but smile every time I look at these pics. When the car comes out in the movie I was howling. It's a pretty brilliant piece of twisted work. And it's very possible I could pay someone to make one of these but it still feels like a 100% original.
Honorary mentions include the Orca from Jaws, the DeLorean from Back to the Future, the broomsticks from Harry Potter, Captain America's motorcycle from Easy Rider, and the Serenity from Serenity. Any other you might suggest in the comments are welcome.