All together now: Latent Anger
So I was perusing LiveJournal, and I found a community for pregnant teenagers. I won't be judgmental about 15 year olds thinking it is just the best thing ever to be pregnant with their eternal love's child. I will pass judgment on the names they have chosen for their future offspring.
A common thing for these girls to do is post potential names for their children. And I really want to ask about a few of these names:
Orion
Monet (for a boy)
Augustus
Quentin (does anyone else channel Oates?)
Demitrius
Jacen (Jason)
Dillen (Dylan)
Jakub (Jacob)
Lucifer
But let's talk about that one. They think that naming their child "The Devil" would be a good idea. Can anyone say "latent anger" with me? It is certainly understandable - children are needy and very dependent (regardless of how much you love them, you still have to provide for them for years, which is, without question, very taxing). I think that society puts extra pressure on new mothers to have nothing but positive feelings for their babies, but we all have moments where we don't love the people in our lives. (I will be the first to admit it - there were times when Martha and I were very angry with each other, but there were also times when we were so much happier than most people can imagine - it was a normal and healthy relationship, and if we'd never fought and never been angry with each other there would have been some serious underlying problems in our marriage. The key is to be able to understand that sometimes you can be mad at a person that you love.) So in the instance of the girl who wants to name her child Lucifer, but claims to be so happy to be pregnant, she's probably in general, happy with the prospect of motherhood, but is having a hard time integrating her feelings about the negative social response. Most people would probably exhibit this by saying "I love you" to the baby in a very monotone voice (babies only understand inflection for some time), rather than cooing at the baby. This girl on the other hand is choosing to name her child after Satan. I think this might be a bit rash, because the times when she doesn't hate her baby probably far outnumber the times that she does, but the child will always have a name brought on by unconscious anger at the baby.
And to complicate the matter, the girl may have repressed all of her negative feelings, so she wouldn't even admit that she had issues with the baby or the prospect of becoming a mother - and most, if not all, healthy new mothers would probably admit feelings of being overwhelmed, sadness, and so on, and it is important to deal with those feelings. If asked, she'd probably say that it is just a cool name. But let's be serious, "Christopher" is a far more socially acceptable version of the same name.
And a non-psychoanalytic comment - won't the child likely be beat mercilessly on the playground with some of these names? There is something to be said for unique names, old fashioned names, and names that your child won't share with 15 of his or her classmates, but at the same time, have some pity for the 9 year old!
Please keep in mind that if you're reading this and happen to be pregnant or be a teenager and want to be pregnant, I do not mean to say that you have repressed feelings, that you have any "issues" with your pregnancy or your life, or that you are naming your child something very dumb. Unless you are planning to name your child Lucifer, in which case you should get in touch with me right away become you may actually have some problems and I think we should talk about them before you do something rash.
-- Sigmund (another name you should avoid giving your child in the year 2003)
A common thing for these girls to do is post potential names for their children. And I really want to ask about a few of these names:
Orion
Monet (for a boy)
Augustus
Quentin (does anyone else channel Oates?)
Demitrius
Jacen (Jason)
Dillen (Dylan)
Jakub (Jacob)
Lucifer
But let's talk about that one. They think that naming their child "The Devil" would be a good idea. Can anyone say "latent anger" with me? It is certainly understandable - children are needy and very dependent (regardless of how much you love them, you still have to provide for them for years, which is, without question, very taxing). I think that society puts extra pressure on new mothers to have nothing but positive feelings for their babies, but we all have moments where we don't love the people in our lives. (I will be the first to admit it - there were times when Martha and I were very angry with each other, but there were also times when we were so much happier than most people can imagine - it was a normal and healthy relationship, and if we'd never fought and never been angry with each other there would have been some serious underlying problems in our marriage. The key is to be able to understand that sometimes you can be mad at a person that you love.) So in the instance of the girl who wants to name her child Lucifer, but claims to be so happy to be pregnant, she's probably in general, happy with the prospect of motherhood, but is having a hard time integrating her feelings about the negative social response. Most people would probably exhibit this by saying "I love you" to the baby in a very monotone voice (babies only understand inflection for some time), rather than cooing at the baby. This girl on the other hand is choosing to name her child after Satan. I think this might be a bit rash, because the times when she doesn't hate her baby probably far outnumber the times that she does, but the child will always have a name brought on by unconscious anger at the baby.
And to complicate the matter, the girl may have repressed all of her negative feelings, so she wouldn't even admit that she had issues with the baby or the prospect of becoming a mother - and most, if not all, healthy new mothers would probably admit feelings of being overwhelmed, sadness, and so on, and it is important to deal with those feelings. If asked, she'd probably say that it is just a cool name. But let's be serious, "Christopher" is a far more socially acceptable version of the same name.
And a non-psychoanalytic comment - won't the child likely be beat mercilessly on the playground with some of these names? There is something to be said for unique names, old fashioned names, and names that your child won't share with 15 of his or her classmates, but at the same time, have some pity for the 9 year old!
Please keep in mind that if you're reading this and happen to be pregnant or be a teenager and want to be pregnant, I do not mean to say that you have repressed feelings, that you have any "issues" with your pregnancy or your life, or that you are naming your child something very dumb. Unless you are planning to name your child Lucifer, in which case you should get in touch with me right away become you may actually have some problems and I think we should talk about them before you do something rash.
-- Sigmund (another name you should avoid giving your child in the year 2003)