The most difficult entry....
...of my life... so far...
I was thinking and re-thinking about why dark RP slashfic horrifies me so much... Well, i think deep inside (and that's not that i never ever questioned this and found some kind of the same explanation) i knew the answer...
I am posting this so as to explain my position about it, it's not only a whimsical or fanatic, closed ( Read more... )
I was thinking and re-thinking about why dark RP slashfic horrifies me so much... Well, i think deep inside (and that's not that i never ever questioned this and found some kind of the same explanation) i knew the answer...
I am posting this so as to explain my position about it, it's not only a whimsical or fanatic, closed ( Read more... )
- among other things - who started the downfall of the junta. The mothers who were demonstrating and asking were their sons are. ("Madres de Plaza de Mayo"). Again it were women who spoke up.
So there's no reason to be ashamed.
But such a history affects people.
I can imagine that it took a lot of work to regognize the background of your feelings. It's good that you did it!
I still believe that you don't need to have such a cruel history but it needs only a bit of empathy to let you dislike such a story. That fanfic story is not a crime novel...
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It's somehow like something that still we prefer to ignore... most people can't yet speak of it or don't want to even get reminded that such things happened in our country...
It took a bit ... though my own analysis of kinks and stuff quite long ago also took me once to evaluate the influence of such part of our history... why i didn't want to recognize some 'sadist' things turn me on... when if i put into the 'victim's' place, they horrify me that they could get to happen to me... and moreover when i remember the terrible things that happened here...That's why i prefer to avoid such matters...
Yes, and i tend to be very empatic... but the fact is why does it bother so much to the point of hurting...
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I think it's kind of a relieve that you found out why you feel so bad about those crappy fanfics. Because you now can work on not getting agitated too much. You may call it "become dull". But especially if you are so empathetic you get really affected by it. At least that's my experience.
Please don't laugh, but I had that yesterday. bakinblak posted the 13th chapter of a heartbreaking story. Well, to me it is. And as I was halfway through I noticed that I was breathing shallowly and my hands were shaking like mad. She really "gripped" me. Wow ( ... )
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Yes, somehow the country's history and my peer group that (idk if education/historical background/social environment didn't shape all our generations like that...) mocked every 'sensitive' person...so no... never cry or show your 'weakness' in public... And then i learnt strongest persons are those who dare to show who they are in front of everybody, and have no fear of being mocked or misjudged... but well, it's a learning process, you know :)
I only get to know about those fictions that irritate me for their content by my sister or some friends... And, whenever i dislike or don't agree with them, i'll only stand up to say 'no more', but in my own way, it has to be pacific and positive, just to counteract the 'bad taste' those things produce in us (my sis and i, mostly) I won't back up, i am strong willed....But promise to try not to flame too much inside :)
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Yes, I know all to well - I'm still fighting with it :-/
But as we know learning a new behavior and feeling comfortable with it is a process that needs some time. And we should give it that time because that will help us in the end!
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All those new behaviors, knowing to say no and also to say yes to yourself and allow you to show your feelings, your truth, cause strength is inside and not outside (well, it's good not only to 'be' but also to 'seem' but it's way more difficult to 'seem' what we cannot 'be'...), is a complete learning rpoces...we're like the oninos, with many layers and we must go discarding them to reach to the inside and let it show... (*G* for the analogy XD)
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I like the analogy - if you got rid of the last peel you're crying *ggg*
I'm the "Mistress of seem" :-) I seem to be confident and optimistic and that helps a lot at work. No one gives attractive assignments to some whiny loser who doesn't dare to even try something...
It's said to need two weeks until a new behavior is consolidated. That's not unmanageable...
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Well, i also 'seem' at work...that's why i like not to 'seem' when i am among friends :)
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That's what real friends are for: you can be "stupid" and they won't laugh at you. Only with you :-)
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