COW's, UDDERS and the Christmas Spirit
Just so you know, this is written with tongue FIRMLY in cheek, okay? No offence is meant to any particular type of personality, Christmas shopping habit or cultural custom. Just me having a little fun and venting at the same time. Orright??? Right.
There are seven more school days before most Australian children finish school for the Christmas holidays; give or take, that's about a week and a half. And out of those children, a fairly decent percentage of their parents will be just like me... literally running around like a team of manic, wild-eyed treasure hunters, attempting to buy, borrow or steal everything on their lengthy list before then. Including those ‘impossible to buy for’ people. Seriously, there are not enough hours in the day for this. Or shops that have coffee available instore.
If I was the picture perfect mother, I'd be one of those Chirpy Organised Women. You know the ones; cheerily exclaiming to all and sundry with self-satisfied smiles they'd finished and wrapped ALL their Christmas shopping in September and have it all packed away, ready to put out under the tree come Christmas Eve. Life is fabulous and OMG, you haven’t done your shopping yet?
*sigh* See, I'm the foolish woman who listens to the C.O.W oh so politely through gritted teeth, my smile tight but firm, desperately thinking of the gazillion presents I haven’t bought yet and of all the shopping hours that are ticking by as we speak. But as much as I wish I was, I'm afraid I’m simply *not* the C.O.W type.
And it's not that I haven’t tried. Oh my God, how I have tried! There have been years when I have planned to be one of them, to bask in and relish the knowledge that I do not have to wage war with all the other wild-eyed treasure hunters in December, and find my Zen moment with that thought over a large Café Latte and the latest WHO Weekly.
Unfortunately, my best laid plans never quite panned out despite my earnest intentions and so I find myself assuming the much lowlier role of U.D.D.E.R.S - Uber Desperates Desiring Extreme Retail Shopping. A bit of a come down after my lofty aspirations of being a C.O.W, but at this point in December I don’t have many options left!
And so here I am, long list in hand and fantastic plastic card at the ready - wish me luck as I navigate the too-narrow aisles and groaning shelves looking for the perfect present - and if you’re one of those people who happen to be a C.O.W, then spare a thought for those U.D.D.E.R.S living on the edge underneath you… we may not be as organised as you are, but we are still an important part of the Christmas shopping landscape, the ones all retailers LOVE and in the overall tapestry of bovine analogies, you can’t have one without the other. *g*
Good night, all.
There are seven more school days before most Australian children finish school for the Christmas holidays; give or take, that's about a week and a half. And out of those children, a fairly decent percentage of their parents will be just like me... literally running around like a team of manic, wild-eyed treasure hunters, attempting to buy, borrow or steal everything on their lengthy list before then. Including those ‘impossible to buy for’ people. Seriously, there are not enough hours in the day for this. Or shops that have coffee available instore.
If I was the picture perfect mother, I'd be one of those Chirpy Organised Women. You know the ones; cheerily exclaiming to all and sundry with self-satisfied smiles they'd finished and wrapped ALL their Christmas shopping in September and have it all packed away, ready to put out under the tree come Christmas Eve. Life is fabulous and OMG, you haven’t done your shopping yet?
*sigh* See, I'm the foolish woman who listens to the C.O.W oh so politely through gritted teeth, my smile tight but firm, desperately thinking of the gazillion presents I haven’t bought yet and of all the shopping hours that are ticking by as we speak. But as much as I wish I was, I'm afraid I’m simply *not* the C.O.W type.
And it's not that I haven’t tried. Oh my God, how I have tried! There have been years when I have planned to be one of them, to bask in and relish the knowledge that I do not have to wage war with all the other wild-eyed treasure hunters in December, and find my Zen moment with that thought over a large Café Latte and the latest WHO Weekly.
Unfortunately, my best laid plans never quite panned out despite my earnest intentions and so I find myself assuming the much lowlier role of U.D.D.E.R.S - Uber Desperates Desiring Extreme Retail Shopping. A bit of a come down after my lofty aspirations of being a C.O.W, but at this point in December I don’t have many options left!
And so here I am, long list in hand and fantastic plastic card at the ready - wish me luck as I navigate the too-narrow aisles and groaning shelves looking for the perfect present - and if you’re one of those people who happen to be a C.O.W, then spare a thought for those U.D.D.E.R.S living on the edge underneath you… we may not be as organised as you are, but we are still an important part of the Christmas shopping landscape, the ones all retailers LOVE and in the overall tapestry of bovine analogies, you can’t have one without the other. *g*
Good night, all.