New Year's at the Palace - Day 2.1 (of 3)
Morning-
There were quite a few things one missed whilst living in a hole in the floor of an underground base. Fresh air, for one. Despite Ianto's best effort, not even he could completely rid the Hub of the musty smell that a century of dripping water had created. Dry floors was another.
But, Jack thought, as he lay sexually sated, warm and dry, next to Ianto on their king-sized bed, sunlight was definitely at the top of that list. Not just any sunlight, though. Morning sunlight, streaming in reds, golds, and sienas. Streaming through the window on a cold New Year's Eve morning, striking Ianto's pale Welsh skin and giving him an ethereal glow. Like an angel. Or rather, Jack chuckled, a fallen angel considering the night they'd enjoyed.
One thing Jack didn't miss, however, was bastard neighbors pounding on doors and interrupting his Ianto-Watching-Time. (certainly not to be confused with Ianto-Stopwatch-Time. That was completely different and usually involved ripped ties, the stopwatch, and various tubes of lube and massage oil). He swallowed (with difficulty) the urge to shoot whoever it was that was banging on their door and shouting for Ianto.
Ianto groaned. Despite being the first in the Hub every day, he was most definitely NOT a morning person. And here he was, on vacation in London, after a wonderful night with only a few hours sleep, waking up to something crashing against the door. He moaned, pulled himself from Jack's arms and struggled across the room. Throwing open the door, he was shocked to see Owen (red-nosed and quite possibly still drunk) fall face-first onto the carpet. Ianto blinked. Then blinked again. Thinking it was too damn early to be dealing with this, he toed Owen a few times in the side.
"What. On Earth. Could you possibly want. At 6AM?" he ground out.
"Ianto?" Owen asked, blinking as he turned his head. "Iaaaaannnnntooooo.......Ianto Ianto Ianto..."
Jack giggled. "Ok mate, come on," he said as he helped Ianto lift the doctor and carry him over to the bed. "What's up?"
Owen twisted his head back and forth between Jack and Ianto. "Need to dance," he muttered.
Ianto lifted an eyebrow. "Now?" he asked dangerously. "You woke us up to dance now?"
"No!" Owen yelled. "T'night. At th'party. Need to learn to dance."
Jack rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "You go out all the time to clubs, Owen. You know how to dance."
Owen rolled his eyes. "Not th't dancing. Real dancing. Nice dancing," he said as he yawned. "Need t'learn to waltz."
Jack snorted. "Oh yeah, that I have to see."
Ianto just shook his head. "Owen, you're drunk. Go to bed. We've nothing planned till tonight." He bent down to help Owen to his feet.
Owen pushed away, wobbled, and fell back onto the bed. "NO!" he shouted. "Need to learn to dance!"
"Why?" Jack asked.
"So I can dance with Maria."
"Oh I'm so gonna regret this," Jack sighed. "Who's Maria?"
"Doct'r Maria Greene," Owen said dreamily, his eyes lost in the distance. "Met her in Uni. She works for UNIT. She called last night; she'll be at the party. Wants me to dance. Need to keep her this time, not let her leave, so I need o dance." He narrowed his eyes and looked at Ianto. "Need you to teach me."
Had Ianto been drinking, he'd have choked. "Why me? Why not Jack?"
"Jack'd cop a feel," Owen said, nodding. "Can't keep it in his pants. 's why he's got you now to take it out for him all the time. Bu' I don' need him feelin' me up. You don' like me, so you won' touch me."
Ianto turned to glare at a sniggering Jack. "No way," he muttered. "Absolutely no way am I teaching the Drunken Doctor how to waltz! No way is that in my job description!"
Jack laughed outright. "Actually, Ianto, your contract says 'general administrative duties and other duties as assigned by senior staff.' Owen's senior staff. Have fun!" he called as he grabbed his trousers and a jumper and hurried out the door. Getting dressed quickly in the lift, he laughed the entire time on the way to the cafe on the corner. Least he could do was get Ianto a real coffee.
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Jack hadn't actually expected Ianto to attempt teaching Owen how to dance. In fact, he'd expected to come back to the room to find Owen passed out in the bed and Ianto in the shower. He'd have liked Ianto in the shower. Wet Ianto was definitely something he'd learned to enjoy. And wet Ianto with slippery soap? If Jack was anything to go by, all those stories about dropping soap in a prison shower were true. It would have just been too tempting, Ianto, wet and soapy, bent over....But no, Jack's daydreams were quashed (as was his burgeoning erection) when he returned to the room with coffee and pastries to find Ianto holding Owen and attempting to count beats.
"Seriously, Owen, it's not that hard." Into whinged. He'd apparently been saying that for some time. "The waltz is one of the most basic dances out there. Just count to four and do the opposite of what I do!"
" 'M doing it, 'm doing it," Owen mumbled as he once again entwined his feet in Ianto's and proceeded to step rather harshly onto Ianto's toes.
"No no no!" Ianto shouted, throwing his hands in the air, "That's the woman's steps! You're supposed to be leading! If I can figure out how to do it backwards, least you can do is remember which foot to start on!"
Jack burst out laughing at the obviously frustrated Ianto. Ianto jumped, not knowing Jack had been standing there, and whirled around.
"And don't you start!" Ianto ground out. "He's your employee! You teach him!"
Jack held up the coffee and pastries placatingly. "Ok, Ianto, ok. I'll teach him, ok? You just sit back and enjoy breakfast. No use getting all riled up when I can't do anything about it. Unless you wanna -" Jack leered as he gestured towards the slowly-sobering Owen.
"Not. A. Chance," Ianto ground out as he grabbed the bag of pastries and a cup of coffee. He plucked Owen's keycard from his pocket. Gesturing towards the hallway, he said, "I'll be in his room. I don't want to see him again till I've had at least two pastries." Sparing a quick glance back at the doctor, he hurried out and slammed the room door shut.
Jack sighed as he turned back to Owen. He stalked over, pulling Owen firmly against him "Listen up, Doc," he began. "You just cost me wake-up sex. You're gonna learn to dance, and you're gonna learn to dance quick. 'Cause believe me, pissed-off-sex is almsot as good as wake-up sex, and I'll be damned if we'll be here long enough for him to calm down. Now count!"
Owen swallowed hard and twisted to grab a nearby wastepaper basket, throwing up last night's bingeing. Wiping his mouth, he turned back to Jack. "Right. Let's do this. Touch me and I'll castrate you next time you're dead. See if those grow back," he said.
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Afternoon-
"This is nice," Jack commented as he and Ianto strolled through the park. "I like this. You, me, a nearly empty park. Lots of things we can do in a nearly empty park. Lots we could do in a full park too, huh?"
"I am not having sex with you in a park in the middle of winter," Ianto said, rolling his eyes.
"Oh, so you'd have sex in a park in the summer then?" Jack leered.
"Don't even think about it," Ianto said, pulling his gloved hand from Jack's. "In the hotel or nowhere at all, got it?"
"Yes Sir!" Jack grinned, clicking his heels and saluting. "Preparing for sex in the hotel, Sir!"
Ianto groaned as he shook his head. He and Jack had barely managed to escape from Owen. The doctor stoutly refused to tell them anything else about this 'Maria', but he obviously wanted to impress her. He and Jack had danced for over an hour, Owen learning subtle twists and bends that Jack assured him would get Maria into his bed faster than any drug. Jack hadn't wound up with pissed-off-sex, which, of course, meant that Jack nearly fired Owen in retribution. He'd amost gotten the words out, too, till he'd turned back around to see Owen passed out on the room sofa.
Ianto sighed. Owen was still depressed over Diane. Maybe he did need a good lay, but he doubted it'd actually solve anything. Sex as a bandaid, just covering up whatever it was that was really going on. At least it wasn't sex with Gwen again. Ianto couldn't take finding Gwen's underwear around the Hub anymore. Black thongs inside a morgue drawer? No way was he thinking of what they got up to in there.
"So," Jack drawled on, "What d'you say to an afternoon of shopping? You've had to replace a few suits lately."
Ianto sighed. "Ah yes, the demise fo the 'Cute Suit.'"
"I really loved that suit," Jack whispered against Ianto's ear. "The way it hugged you ass when you bent over to reach a file? Damn..."
Ianto stepped away from Jack, smirking as the older man stumbled a bit. "I said before, Sir, that I refuse to be defiled in the park. Besides, I have an appointment at a salon in a few minutes. Care to escort me?"
Jack stared at Ianto, confused. "Salon? Why are you going to a salon?"
Ianto chuckled. "Not just me, Sir. I made an appointment for you as well. I need a manicure and you need a haircut if we're going in front of the Queen."
Jack's hand flew to his hair. "Haircut? What's wrong with my hair?!"
"It's a bit...well...floppy, Sir," Ianto stammered. "I mean, it's naturally floppy, but this is a bit extreme."
"Floppy?" Jack cried, outraged. "My hair is never 'floppy'!"
"It's just a bit long. You only need a trim. Come on, I know you like to be pampered..." Ianto purred suggestively.
Jack huffed. "Fine, but only because those shampoo people give you a head massage. And only if you promise to make it up to me tonight."
"Oh don't worry, Sir," Ianto grinned as he pushed Jack in the direction of the salon. "From what you were saying before, you had quite the night planned. I'm sure I'll be more than ready to service your every need."
As Ianto pulled on Jack's arm, he added, "And we'll be leaving that greatcoat in the hotel. You don't need a security blanket at the party."
"What?!" Jack cried, "But Ianto-!"