Chapter 18 - Time to Talk
Attention Gentle Readers, a Note from your Author....... As many of you have mentioned while reading our story, words of love have been woefully absent, and Jakey does seem to deserve a little time on top! Hopefully, this chapter will set to right all the short comings you've noted, as this is the final chapter of Boys In Love. Parting is such sweet sorrow - to make myself feel better, I've already started plans for my next story. It will be an AU story, also featuring Jake and Heath, not as actors, but as college students at the University of North Carolina at Asheville. If you've enjoyed this story, maybe you will enjoy the next one as well! Thank you all so much for reading and for all of your wonderful feedback and support! Now, on with our story...........
Jake went to bed alone that night - he could still hear the sounds of the television coming from the living room. He thought about going to get him, but decided against it - maybe Heath needed some space too. Much later, he drifted into consciousness for a few moments - it was the middle of the night, all the lights were out, silence had settled over their world like a warm cozy blanket, and he'd settled back into his favorite new sleeping position, cuddled up snug against Heath's back, legs tucked in behind his - he hugged him just a little bit tighter, dropped a kiss on his shoulder and eased back into sleep.
He slept late the next morning, woke up alone. Dammit! He wondered what the chances were for dragging Heath back into bed with him. He was officially on a mission - he needed to fuck! He went into the bathroom, took a leak, washed his face and brushed his teeth, then went in search of his prey. After a quick look around, it became apparent that he wasn't there. The note in the kitchen confirmed it.
"Hey Babe - you were sleeping so good - I didn't want to bother you. I had to run a couple of errands. Call me when you get up and I'll take you to lunch. H." Fuck! He had to know he was wanting him - was he trying to avoid that, or was he just stringing him along for fun? He could be such a fuckin' tease sometimes!
Jake found his phone, punched Heath's speed dial number - he answered after several rings, sounding a little out of breath. "Hey lover, 'bout time you got your lazy ass out of bed!"
"Yeah, and I was hopin' to get your sweet ass back in there with me, but you're not here!"
"No, I'm not, am I? Sorry, babe - I had some shit I needed to take care of. I'm all finished now, though. Want me to come get you - take you to lunch?" His voice was light, playful - he was definitely stringing him along.
"No, I just want you to come home - now!" Jake told him, his voice rough.
"Ok, ok, I'm on the way."
They punched off, then Jake looked at the screen on his phone. His call waiting had been clicking in while they'd been talking, but he'd ignored it. He checked the missed call info - it showed his parent's number - now he had a message.
When Heath got there forty-five minutes later, Jake was showered and dressed in going-out clothes, sitting on the couch waiting for him. Heath took one look at him and cocked his head. "You change your mind?"
"Hell-fucking-no! My mother changed it for me. It's my Aunt Harriet's ninety-seventh birthday today - they're having a party for her at the facility where she lives. She heard I was in town and asked special that I come."
Heath started out grining, ended up laughing at him. "Dude! You've got to be pumped for that!"
"I'm fucking thrilled! I got us a bag packed. C'mon." Jake got off the sofa, made for the door, grabbed their bag on the way. "You can spend the afternoon at my parents house - or do whatever you want. I just need a ride over there."
Heath caught him in his arms as he got close, leaned in for a kiss. "Sorry babe - I was really looking forward to missing lunch with you."
Jake kissed him back, tongueing him hard for a minute. "Yeah, well, not half as much as I was! Eventually I will get you to myself again......"
"There is something to be said for delayed gratification - it's one of my specialities...." They were still kissing, the clock was still ticking, Jake's mom was waiting, his dick was getting hard.....Fuck!
"Great! That makes me feel so much better. C'mon man, we gotta go. They're waitin' for me."
On the way, Heath pulled into the parking lot of a Godiva Chocolates shop, made Jake run in and get a box of candy for Aunt Harriet. When they got to Jake's folks' house, Maggie and their mom were waiting out front, discussing flowers in the flower bed. Jake hopped out of the passenger seat with his box of chocolates; Heath got their bag from the back seat.
"Hello dear. Hi Heath - I hope this doesn't upset your plans too much for the afternoon, us taking Jake off to the party," Naomi said, reached up and gave Jake a quick peck on the cheek, then Heath got one too.
"No ma'am, Jake told me I could hang out here - I was thinking I might go swimming," Heath said. He sounded way too happy about it as far as Jake was concerned.
"Ok, that'll be just fine. Jake, are you still driving, or is Heath your official chaffeur now?"
"Yeah, mom, I can still drive."
"Then would you mind driving us to the party?"
"No problem." He turned to Heath. "Do you think you might want to go anywhere while we're gone?"
"Not a chance. Here." Heath handed him the keys.
"'K. Well, have fun. Just put your stuff in the same room you slept in last time." His room.
Heath nodded. "Got it! Ya'll have fun too - see ya later!" He leaned down, winked at Jake across his mom, shut her door once she was all settled in and they were off.
They got back from the party about three hours later. Jake ran straight up to his room to change, looked out his window, saw Heath lounging on a float in the pool, wearing sunglasses and a red and yellow pair of his swim trunks, reading a magazine. Looking yummy. Hmm - not much he could do about that right now. He put on his light blue swim trunks, grabbed a towel and tromped back down the stairs to join him. He grabbed a couple of sodas from the fridge on his way out.
"Hey, we're back - wanna Coke?" he asked when he got out onto the deck.
"Sure... thanks! So, welcome back - how was the party?" Jake tossed the can to him in the pool and stood on the edge, sipping his drink and watching Heath float.
"Man, those people were crazy! I've never been groped and fondled so much in my whole fuckin' life. I think they must feed 'em all Viagra's and shit for breakfast or something..."
"Really man?"
"Really! I mean, I expected some cheek squeezing and kissing and stuff, but they were like - running their hands up my thighs, pinching my butt - I swear to you, one guy grabbed my dick!"
That got Heath's attention - Maggie walked out just in time to hear it too. "What'd you say, Jake?"
"Some guy grabbed my joint at the party!"
"Ewww, that's so gross!" she said, made an awful face.
"I'll say, Jake. I can't believe you'd let some guy touch your dick, man - that's totally disgusting." Maggie giggled - Jake looked out at him peacefully floating, reading his magazine - not for long, mother fucker.
He backed up to get a running start, then tore across the deck at top speed, letting out an ear-splitting war cry as he launched the perfect cannonball aimed exactly at Heath. Heath screamed "SHIT!" and tossed his magazine to the side just as Jake made impact and they crashed under the water, wrestling and grappling and grabbing dicks all the way down. When they were both out of air they pushed back up, broke the surface gasping and slinging water everywhere, still engaged. Jake leapt up, got the advantage and drove them under again, their wet bodies lunging against each other, sleek skin sliding, feeling so good. God, he was horny as a fuckin' mule! This time, when they came back up, he could hear his mother's voice. Shit!
"Do you think we should put the hose on them?"
"No Mom, they'll run out of energy in a few minutes - you know how boys are - out of control one minute - passsed out like dogs the next!"
Jake forced himself to let Heath go, they splashed water at each other for a minute, then he turned to his mom. "Hey Mom!"
"Hey sweetie. Don't forget, Heath's company - it's not nice to drown the guests!"
"Yeah!" he heard from behind, felt another big splash against his back. He grinned at his mom. "Did you need something? Don't worry about him - he's tough - he can take it!"
"It'd be nice if you guys were ready around five - you could help me set the table and get the glasses ready. The others should start getting here around six. It's four now."
"Ok Mom, we'll go get cleaned up in just a minute." Just as soon as you walk away, cause neither one of us can get out of the pool while you're watching!
"Ok, see you in a bit," she said and went back into the house, Maggie following along behind.
He looked back at Heath - he was diving for his sunglasses which were drifting slowly to the bottom. He finally caught them and popped back up. "We need to go get ready, dude. Mom wants us to help her get shit ready before the company gets here."
"Sure thing, man." Heath grabbed his Coke can as it floated by, they got out of the pool, dried themselves off and went up to Jake's room. It hadn't changed a lot since he'd moved out several years ago. His mom kept saying she was going to redecorate, but she always seemed to have a more pressing project and hadn't gotten around to it yet. The walls were a dark shade of taupe, his furniture dark brown wood, his comforter blue and green plaid - overall, pretty boring. To liven things up a little bit, he'd added a few posters of his favorite babes. Those were all at least six years old, showing a little age - he couldn't believe his mom hadn't taken them down yet.
Heath shucked out of his swim trunks and flopped down on the bed, eyes running over the pretty girls on the wall. "Hmm, no posters of me, I see. That's kinda disappointing!"
"Sorry man." Jake dropped his wet trunks on top of Heath's, lay beside him on the bed, head propped on one arm, free hand rubbing his chest and belly. "Believe it or not, though, I do have a kinky story involving a poster of you."
Heath looked at him, grinning. "Cool! Tell me."
"It happened a few years ago. I was dating this girl I'd met through Maggie. She was hot! A couple of years older than me. We were at her parents house - they were out of town and she was housesitting - we were up in her room, started making out on her bed - once we got naked, she pushed me down on the bed and climbed up on top of me and starts doing me. That was awesome - so I was just laying there, watching her tits bouncing and the expressions on her face, and then for some reason I looked up at the ceiling, and there was this poster of you up there - and it was almost like you were watching me fucking her. I'd just met you for the first time a couple of days before at some party - you probably don't even remember it........ we just shook hands, didn't really get to say anything except 'hello'........ so anyway, I just lay there on her bed and she was riding me, doing her thing, and i was watching you watching me from that poster - and when I came it was one of the best orgasms I ever had. Isn't that weird?"
Heath had been watching him through the whole story, an odd expression on his face. "I think it's pretty fucking amazin', actually. And I do remember that first time we met - I've got a story to tell you about that, but we don't have time right now. We better get a move on or your mom's gonna come looking for us!"
They took a platonic shower and got dressed, then reported for duty. The rest of the evening was non-stop busy. They got everything ready just as the first guests were arriving at six - it was after midnight before the last person left. Everyone was exhausted and went straight to bed. They fell asleep as soon as they hit the mattress, all thoughts of talking and fucking wiped out by the night.
The next morning Jake woke up early, needing to pee. When he came back from the bathroom, he started back towards the bed - it was only just past seven, his room was still shadowy, Heath was laying curled on his side, his breathing soft and even - there was nothing Jake wanted more than to crawl back into bed with him, but there was something else he had to do. His mom was an early riser - chances were good he could catch her alone. It was time to tell her what was going on.
Dressed in baggy sleep pants and an old t-shirt, he made his way quietly to the kitchen. He could smell coffee and muffins - wasn't sure if he could manage anything right now, the way his stomach was feeling. She was there, sitting at the big island in her robe and slippers, sipping coffee, reading the paper. He scuffed his foot on the tile as he walked into the kitchen - she looked up, smiled, didn't really seem surprised to see him. She probably knew something was going on. Afterall, he couldn't even fool people who didn't know him - how could he expect to fool her?
"Good morning, dear. You're up early."
"Mornin' Mom. Dad not up yet?" He was hoping the answer to that question would be 'no.' He really wanted to see how this news flew with her before breaking it to his dad. He dropped a kiss on her cheek, then went over to the counter to fix himself a cup of coffee. Even if he didn't want anything, he needed something to do with his hands. He buttered a muffin - they were blueberry, his favorite. Maybe he could eat one. Finally, there was nothing left to do, so he took his breakfast and sat across from her at the island.
"No, he's sleeping in this morning. Did you sleep well?" she asked, her attention drifting between him and the newspaper.
"Mmm hmm," he nodded, chewing on the muffin - he may as well have been chewing on a piece of the newspaper. She sipped her coffee, read for another minute while he chewed, swallowed, got all queasy and started to sweat. Shit, this sucked! He'd been planning this for a whole week, had been thinking about it for a month, and still he didn't have a fucking clue what to say.
He fiddled with his coffee cup. She glanced over, a small smile on her lips. "So, what's on your mind, dear? I know you aren't up this early just for the muffins."
"Mmm, no......" He looked at her, looked back down at his plate, still with half a muffin on it. He picked it up, started pulling it apart, making tiny pieces and a million crumbs.
"Well, this should be interesting. How about if I start?"
He nodded. Perfect.
"So, tell me about that ring you've been wearing. I never saw it till recently - now you wear it all the time. It's very nice."
"Thanks. It was a gift."
"I thought it might be - from somebody special, hmm?"
"Yes, somebody real special..." He drug his eyes up from the muffin crumbs, met her soft, curious gaze. "Mmm, Mom.......Heath gave it to me."
Her eyebrows shot up at that, her eyes got wide, but overall, she stayed pretty calm. "Heath? As in Heath Ledger..... upstairs in the guestroom Heath."
"He's not in the guest room, Mom."
"Oh..... I see......" She took another sip of her coffee. Jake studied his crumbs some more, waited. "He didn't stay in the guest room last time either, did he?"
"No ma'am."
"I didn't really think so - I can pretty much tell when a bed's really been slept in and when somebody just rumpled it up to make me feel better."
Jake felt like his heart was going to break. "I'm sorry Mom. I know you're disappointed and this is all messed up, but I don't think it's gonna go away. I don't want it to go away........"
"Sweetie, I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I think it's great and wonderful and it's my dream come true, because it's not. But it's your life, and if this makes you happy, I'm not going to try and stop you. You're just so young, you know - I'd hate for you to do something impetuous - maybe just because of this movie you're making - and then have it affect your life forever......know what I mean?
"Yeah, Mom, I know........but this isn't because of the movie. This started before we even started filming the movie, my first night in town, actually," he admitted, hoping like hell she wouldn't ask for any more details.
"Oh my......... I guess it's serious then, isn't it?"
"Yeah, I guess it is."
"Well! Have you made any plans - you're getting close to being done with the movie aren't you?"
"Yeah, we're almost done, but we haven't made any plans for after."
"So.......do you think you might live together, maybe here, at your place?"
"Mmm.......I just don't know Mom. We haven't really talked about any of that stuff, just been kinda going day to day, you know?" Jake was starting to get antsy now. How could he explain anything to her, when he didn't know anything himself. He was in a relationship that meant more to him than life, yet he knew almost nothing about it. This was fucking insane - they had to talk!
"Does he love you?"
FUCK! Jake felt the prickle of tears in his eyes. "I don't know, Mom - he's never said."
They both flinched at the sound of his harsh voice in the doorway. "What the hell are you talking about Jake? I told you how I felt weeks ago! You're the one who's never said!"
Jake spun around on his stool. "You've never said a word to me about it, Heath! Trust me, that's one thing I wouldn't forget!"
Heath gave him a funny look then, darted a quick glance over at his mother, then back to Jake. He walked up to him slowly, took his left hand and slid the ring from his finger. "You don't take this off much, do you?"
"Never, unless I have to, for filming......."
"Hmm, did you ever look inside it?"
"Yeah, when I first got it - I saw your initial." Jake remembered that night, standing in the dimly lit bathroom stall, still shivery from Heath making him come over the phone.
"There's more........"
Heath handed him the ring. Jake looked inside - in the small part of the band, in fine script, it said, "All my love, always."
"Shit Heath......"
"Jake!" he said his name sharply, shot a look over at his mom. Fuck! He'd forgotten all about her just that quick. He jammed his ring back on his finger, turned back to his mom, gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, said, "We gotta go mom - I'll call you later." Then he turned back to Heath, got a handful of his t-shirt and started shoving him back towards the door, growling in his ear. "C'mon. We're goin' home. And we're gonna get this shit straight or die tryin'." They jogged back upstairs to his room, Jake pushing Heath the whole way - packed quickly, silently, then hit the road. Jake drove. Heath laid his seat back and closed his eyes - gearing up for the showdown, no doubt.
When they got home, Heath took their bag and went straight back to the bedroom. Jake grabbed a couple of bottles of water from the fridge and followed him - Heath was sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard, eyes closed, when he got there. Jake handed him a bottle of water, took a swig of his own, leaned his butt up against the dresser. "Why the hell did you do it that way, Heath?"
""Cause I was fuckin' scared, Jake!"
"Scared! What the hell did you have to be scared of?" Jake asked, incredulous.
"Are you gay, Jake?"
"What?"
"You heard me! Are you fuckin' gay?"
"Fuck Heath - I don't know!"
"Me neither! I don't know if you're gay - I don't even know if I'm gay. All I know is that I'm so goddamned in love with you that I can't see straight and if I lost you my life wouldn't be worth shit to me anymore! So I've got a lot to be scared of, Jake. I didn't know for sure how you felt - didn't know if you wanted me to love you - maybe this was all just a big adventure for you. I sure as hell didn't want to say anything that might push you away from me. I figured if you felt the same way about me, you'd tell me once you saw that, and if you didn't, we could just ignore it, pretend like I hadn't said anything at all, keep on like we were. At least that way I'd still have you."
"Shit Heath!"
"Yeah, exactly." They just looked at each other for a minute, then Heath said, "Jake, I gotta have a fuckin' cigarette, man."
"Fine - I'll get you an ashtray." Jake found one in the kitchen, brought it back to Heath. He was in his same spot on the bed, smoking, fingers trembling. His eyes were a wreck. Jake had never seen him so freaked before. He sat the ashtray on the nightstand, sat on the end of the bed opposite Heath.
"There's somethin' else I need to know, man....."
"What?" he asked, his voice strained, just a thread above a whisper.
"How the hell did this happen, Heath? If neither one of us is even fucking gay, how did we end up together?"
Heath didn't say anything for a long minute - Jake just waited, didn't say another word either. He needed to know this more than he'd ever needed anything else before. This was the story of his own fucking life.
"You remember - yesterday - tellin' me the story about doin' that girl, lookin' up at my poster over the bed - and you said that was right after we first met, and how I probably didn't even remember that night......."
"Yeah."
"Well, I do remember that night, 'cause that's the night I fuckin' fell in love with you, Jake - the very first night we met." Heath was watching him close, reading his emotions as they flickered across his face.
"What the hell......."
"Yeah - that's what I said! I was just barely twenty years old - had just finally got sex with girls pretty much figured out. Never even thought about being with a guy. And then you came along and shook my hand - that's all you did was shake my fucking hand - and it was like everything else just faded away. You felt more real to me, more alive, than anyone else I'd ever touched. And you looked at me - God, that beautiful face, those forever blue eyes, your gorgeous mouth - and I was hooked, right then, right there... forever."
Jake sat there, stunned. "Jesus......."
"That party was such a mad house. We were both coming off good movies, everyone wanted to talk to us. I could never get near you again. I had to go back to Australia a couple of days later - had no idea how to get in touch with you, was too shy to pursue it anyway, so I went home."
"I dated girls - I tried to forget you. Six months went by, another event - you were there. I made a point of introducing myself again, shaking your hand. I thought maybe I'd imagined it all, made it out to be something it wasn't. But I hadn't - it was the same, that same heady feeling of perfection. I could've stood there all night just holding your hand."
Knowing Heath the way he did, Jake didn't buy that line, cocked a doubtful brow at him. Heath laughed harshly, said, "At the time I was too scared to do anything else - didn't know what to do anyway - I just knew that I wanted you."
"So why did it take so long for you to do anything about it?"
"It was so goddamned complicated. We lived a world apart half the time - I was straight, you were straight, one of us always had a girlfriend. I was completely out of my comfort zone. I didn't know what to do, sure couldn't ask anyone for advice."
"And then they called me about Brokeback Mountain, asked me if I would be interested. I said 'sure.' They sent me the script and the short story - I read them, liked them, met with Ang and read for the part. He liked me for Ennis, told me he was still looking for someone to play Jack. Asked me if I had any suggestions - was there any guy I thought I might have good chemistry with? I thought about it for a few minutes, mentioned your name. He asked why you. I said 'Because he's so goddamned sweet and beautiful - I think people could understand a guy like me - like Ennis - falling in love with him.' And I think, right then, that he knew how I felt. I know he talked to some other people about the part, but he was just going through the motions. I didn't sign my contract until after you signed yours."
"So the day finally came - there we were in Calgary. I still wasn't sure what to do, how to come on to you. I was gonna wait, go slow, see how you reacted to me when we got to the love scenes. But then, that first night, I saw this little sliver of opportunity, just to spend some time with you, and once I got started I couldn't stop myself.
Heath had been looking off, away from Jake as he'd talked, but he turned back to face him as he confessed, "I told you the only lie I ever told you that night."
"What was it?"
"It was about my room key - I didn't really lose it, I just didn't want to leave. I almost fell fucking out when you invited me to sleep in your bed." A small smile played around his mouth at the memory.
"Me too - I still can't believe I did that."
"Once you said that, and after the way you'd been with me all evening, letting me touch you, touching me, I thought I might possibly have a chance. That night you were pretty drunk - once you went to sleep, which was about one minute after you turned off the light, I thought you'd be passed out till morning. I waited a long time - I just wanted to touch you so bad - you were sleeping so soundly - so I scooted close behind you and tucked myself up against you. I was just absorbing the feel of you, your heat and your smell, and then I realized you were awake and it was too late for me to move away. You'd caught me! So I just lay there, pretending to be asleep, waiting for you to freak out, but you didn't, just started wiggling your ass back against my cock!"
Jake felt himself blushing - still couldn't believe he'd done that.
"Once you started that action, I decided I may as well take my chances - I couldn't ask for a better opportunity than that."
"No, I guess not."
"Are you sorry?" Heath asked, his eyes locked on Jake's.
Jake shook his head. "Never - not even for a minute."
"I've told you everything, man. You still haven't said."
Jake crawled up the bed, faced Heath, ran trembly fingers along his cheek. "Of course I love you. You're the center of my fuckin' world. You've turned me upside down and inside out till I don't even remember the guy I used to be before I was with you, can't imagine my life anymore without you. I know that I'll only be happy - truly happy - ever again in my life when I'm with you."
"Do you mean that, Jake? Do you really want to spend your life with me?" Heath whispered, eyes full of love and hope.
"Yes, I really do."
"Well, you're on, Rodeo! As of right now, you're mine and I'm never fuckin' lettin' you go!" Heath growled, possession fierce in his face as pulled him close, kissed him passionately, running strong sure hands over his body, murmuring words of love and desire against his lips. Finally he drew back from Jake's mouth, their eyes met - hot and heavy-lidded with passion - and he whispered softly, "What else do you want, Jake?"
Jake felt his heart start thumping hard, felt the tight clench in his gut just at Heath's words. Heath knew what he wanted, knew exactly what he wanted. He was already so hard, so needy - he was afraid just saying the words might make him come. "You know what I want......."
"Yeah, but I want to hear you say it. You can have anything you want from me - I just want to hear you say the words first."
"I want to fuck you, man.... I want it so bad.... seems like I'm hard all the time now, I can't keep my hands off you, it's all I can think about. I need you.......so.....fuckin'...bad......." Jake whispered, saw the excitement in Heath's eyes flare even hotter at his words.
"Then have me, lover. I'm yours for the takin'......." Heath whispered back.
Jake laughed softly, shook his head, ran trembly fingers down Heath's arms. "I want to so bad, you know, that I don't even know if I can."
Heath grinned, then kissed him soft on the lips. "C'mon, let's go take a shower, take our time - go slow."
"Ok, that sounds good." They kissed some more, loving, gentle kisses, then Jake got off the bed, took Heath's hand and led him along to the bathroom. Heath brushed his teeth while Jake got the water going, shed his clothes. Jake quickly brushed his teeth and followed Heath into the shower.
They kissed some more, standing under the hot spray, running their hands lightly over arms and backs, letting their cocks touch, but just barely, not wanting to drive their passion any higher just yet. Jake got the soap, lathered his hands and washed them both - Heath braced himself against the shower wall and gave him full access to his body. Jake made quick work of his front, didn't want to tease his dick any more than he had to, but he spent long minutes on his backside, rubbing soapy fingers up and down his crevice, working his fingers against his pucker. Heath spread his legs wider, squirmed hard against his fingers, needy cries sounding low in his throat. Hearing his lover moan, knowing what he wanted - what he was ready to give him - drove Jake right up to the edge.
"C'mon baby, I can't wait any longer," Jake growled, splashed him with clean water to rinse away the last of the soap, then turned the water off. They got out and Jake dried them off, first Heath and then himself, kissed him deep one last time before leading him back to his bed. Jake threw back the covers and Heath laid down on the fine cotton sheets, his head on the pillow, watching Jake crawl on top of him, his eyes full of love - Jake finally knew - and trust.
Jake straddled him just like the last time they'd made love, kissed him for a long time, tried to forget about the urgent pounding in his dick - wanted to make it good for him, wanted to make it last. Heath seemed anxious though - soon his hands were wandering down his back, grabbing his ass, urging him down. Jake sank onto him, their cocks got together, and everything went wild after that. Jake couldn't stop himself anymore, couldn't hold back, but he couldn't just plunge in either - knew it must've been a long time since he'd been fucked - knew how tight he was. He pulled his mouth away from Heath's, scooted down his body to his dick, started sucking him. Heath started thrusting as soon as he got him in his mouth. "Fuck Jake - I'm too far gone for that - I need you inside me, man...."
Shit! Jake grabbed the lube from the nightstand drawer, slicked himself up, hmm......slicked some more. Then he slid his fingers from Heath's balls down the sensitve little ridge to his pucker. "Spread your legs, man - let me in....." he whispered, eyes on his face. Heath spread his legs, pulled his knees up, raised his ass for Jake. Just watching him do it made Jake's cock twitch and drip. Jesus! He was going to be dying before he got to come.
Jake pushed his fingers in. Fuck, he was tight. He waited a minute, let him adjust, watched his face - his eyes were closed, Jake knew he was concentrating on his muscles, trying to relax. He felt him ease up, pushed in some more, got past the initial resistance and then he was in. Heath groaned as his fingers slipped in and began a slow, gentle thrust. "Ok?"
He opened his eyes then. "Yeah, it's ok." Jake curled his fingers just a bit, exerted a little more pressure. "Fuck, Jake - Jesus Christ!" Heath shouted, bucking against his hand. That was more like it! Jake rubbed him that way for a minute, enjoying his moans, watching him squirm, his cock twitching, getting all wet and purple on the tip.
"Jake, I'm so ready, man ...........please......." Heath begged, panting.
"Ok lover, here I come."
Jake pulled his fingers out, wiped them on the towel he'd thrown on the bed, lubed himself one more time - God, he was so fuckin' tight - then shoved his cock up against him, ready at last to make love to the man he loved most in all the world. He crawled up over him, kissed him with all the love in his heart, all the passion in his body. When he ended the kiss, he raised up, started pushing his cock inside him, slow and steady. Their eyes were locked - he saw Heath's go wide. "God, Heath - I'm fuckin' nervous man - it feels like my first time all over again."
"Well, be a little careful, Rodeo - ok? This really is my first time........"
"Oh, shit! What the fuck, Heath?" Jake ground out between clenched teeth, trying to steady himself - his cock was sliding in, all that lube was doing its thing. Heath's ass was so fucking hot - so smooth and tight - Jake had his whole body clenched up to keep from pounding into him.
"I'm sorry, man - bad time to mention it, I know..." Heath's voice was strained too - Jake didn't know if it was from pain or sex or both. Shit!
"Jesus Heath, how the fuck did this happen?"
"We'll talk about it later. Just fuck me now, please...... I need it Jake........."
Jake closed his eyes, couldn't look at him anymore - seeing his face so naked and vulnerable, hearing him begging him to make love to him, was driving him mad. Breathing deep, Jake started a slow steady thrust - Jesus! it felt so fucking good. He felt Heath move a little, angle himself, felt the little rub that told him he was hitting the spot, felt Heath's body quiver, heard his gasps of painful pleasure, felt his own heart pounding in his chest like it might explode, felt that same pounding in his cock - knew it was gonna explode soon, sweat slicking his body, legs quivering with the effort of holding back.
"More Jake, give me more.........."
Fuck holding back - Jake powered up his thrusts, sped up his rhythm, opened his eyes. The feeling of plunging his dick into Heath was the most awesome sensation Jake had ever experienced. He watched Heath's face, wreathed in passion, damp with sweat, could tell he was getting close. He picked up the pace some more, a little harder, a little faster, and then Heath was there, arching high on his cock, squeezing him tight from the inside - Jake watched as he closed his eyes in ecstasy and let his pleasure fly.
Jake let go then, couldn't stop himself - it was just too much and he was so ready - he reared up, dug his fingers into Heath's hips hard and pounded into him, had to - had to - into that hot velvet channel wrapped so tight around him, squeezing him, loving him, felt his orgasm surging through him like a freight train, coming hard as he ground against him, moaning loud, calling out his name, knowing in that moment that nothing in the world had ever felt more right to him than this.
A while later, they lay in the bathtub, the hot water swirling, Jake in the back, Heath laying against his chest. "So, d'you like that?" Heath asked.
"What do you think?"
"You seemed pretty pumped!"
"You noticed, huh?"
"Yeah. Hard not to, I guess."
"Mmm - so what about you? How'd you like it?" Jake asked - this was the important part.
"I liked it - I can definitely go both ways..."
"Hmm, that's good. So tell me, how did I end up being your first? How come you never did it with any of your other boyfriends."
"I didn't really have other boyfriends, Jake."
"You told me you'd been with other guys........"
"Yeah, and I have. Once I figured out for sure that I wanted to be with you, I realized I didn't have any idea about what to do if I ever got you. I didn't want to be so inexperienced - thought I'd have a better chance if I knew some stuff, so I hooked up with a couple of gay guys I knew back home. Told 'em up front what I wanted - took 'em out to dinner, couple of nice shows, and they let me practice on them."
"Jesus, Heath!"
"Yeah, I know it sounds kinda crazy, but I just wanted to be prepared, you know."
"I guess."
"So now you know all my secrets. You got any to tell me?"
"Hmm....." Jake thought about it for a minute. "Maybe...."
"Tell me." Heath said, crooked his neck so he could see Jake's face.
"I told you a lie once too."
"Oh really? What was it?"
"It was that first morning in Calgary, after we'd slept together, and we were fighting, and I told you I'd never kissed a guy before - that wasn't true," Jake confessed, had always felt a little bad about that lie. He drew his hands up Heath's chest, needing to touch him more even though they were already skin to skin all the way down their bodies.
"Hmm - ok, you've got my attention." Heath caught one of his hands, pulled it up to his mouth and kissed it.
"It had happened just a few nights before, actually - Austin came over one night, just to hang out one more time before I had to leave - we were goofing off, watching tv and drinking beer - when he pulls this DVD out of his jacket pocket, tells me it's gay porn, says I need to watch it so I won't look like an idiot when we start shooting the love scenes. I thought that was pretty stupid, but I'd never seen any gay porn before, had had enough beers to where it sounded interesting, so I said sure. So he put the thing in and we sat there on the couch and watched guys fuck for an hour. And when it was over, we were both hard and he leaned over and kissed me, and I didn't stop him, so he pushed me back and laid on me and we kissed and hunched on each other for a long time, till finally his cell phone rang and he had to go."
"Jesus - no wonder he was so pissed at me!"
"Yeah, he was all set to take up where we left off when he picked me up at the airport last time. He was mad as hell when he found out I was involved with you."
"Hmm, well, I can't say that I blame him. I think I'd kill anybody that tried to take you away from me."
"Don't worry, baby. Nobody ever will, I promise you," Jake swore, angled his head around for a deep, loving kiss.
"So, what are we gonna do now?" Heath asked when the kissing was over and he was settled back against Jake's body.
"You mean like this afternoon?"
"No, I mean with our lives."
"Hmm, I don't know. What can we do?"
"I know what I want to do........"
"What?"
"I want to marry you."
"Damn Heath! That'd be awesome as shit, but I don't think we can. That's kinda against the rules, you know."
"Yeah, I know, but I bet if we asked your mom real nice, she'd come up with something."
******************************************
Four months later, on a warm autumn evening in the back yard of Jake's parents' home - decorated with flowers and ferns and twinkly lights - but not a bit of white lace in sight ..... surrounded by their families and close friends, Jake and Heath stood together, and led by a clergy friend, they promised to love and cherish each other from that day forward, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, keeping only to each other till death did them part. They sealed their vows with a kiss and lived happily ever after. The End!
Jake went to bed alone that night - he could still hear the sounds of the television coming from the living room. He thought about going to get him, but decided against it - maybe Heath needed some space too. Much later, he drifted into consciousness for a few moments - it was the middle of the night, all the lights were out, silence had settled over their world like a warm cozy blanket, and he'd settled back into his favorite new sleeping position, cuddled up snug against Heath's back, legs tucked in behind his - he hugged him just a little bit tighter, dropped a kiss on his shoulder and eased back into sleep.
He slept late the next morning, woke up alone. Dammit! He wondered what the chances were for dragging Heath back into bed with him. He was officially on a mission - he needed to fuck! He went into the bathroom, took a leak, washed his face and brushed his teeth, then went in search of his prey. After a quick look around, it became apparent that he wasn't there. The note in the kitchen confirmed it.
"Hey Babe - you were sleeping so good - I didn't want to bother you. I had to run a couple of errands. Call me when you get up and I'll take you to lunch. H." Fuck! He had to know he was wanting him - was he trying to avoid that, or was he just stringing him along for fun? He could be such a fuckin' tease sometimes!
Jake found his phone, punched Heath's speed dial number - he answered after several rings, sounding a little out of breath. "Hey lover, 'bout time you got your lazy ass out of bed!"
"Yeah, and I was hopin' to get your sweet ass back in there with me, but you're not here!"
"No, I'm not, am I? Sorry, babe - I had some shit I needed to take care of. I'm all finished now, though. Want me to come get you - take you to lunch?" His voice was light, playful - he was definitely stringing him along.
"No, I just want you to come home - now!" Jake told him, his voice rough.
"Ok, ok, I'm on the way."
They punched off, then Jake looked at the screen on his phone. His call waiting had been clicking in while they'd been talking, but he'd ignored it. He checked the missed call info - it showed his parent's number - now he had a message.
When Heath got there forty-five minutes later, Jake was showered and dressed in going-out clothes, sitting on the couch waiting for him. Heath took one look at him and cocked his head. "You change your mind?"
"Hell-fucking-no! My mother changed it for me. It's my Aunt Harriet's ninety-seventh birthday today - they're having a party for her at the facility where she lives. She heard I was in town and asked special that I come."
Heath started out grining, ended up laughing at him. "Dude! You've got to be pumped for that!"
"I'm fucking thrilled! I got us a bag packed. C'mon." Jake got off the sofa, made for the door, grabbed their bag on the way. "You can spend the afternoon at my parents house - or do whatever you want. I just need a ride over there."
Heath caught him in his arms as he got close, leaned in for a kiss. "Sorry babe - I was really looking forward to missing lunch with you."
Jake kissed him back, tongueing him hard for a minute. "Yeah, well, not half as much as I was! Eventually I will get you to myself again......"
"There is something to be said for delayed gratification - it's one of my specialities...." They were still kissing, the clock was still ticking, Jake's mom was waiting, his dick was getting hard.....Fuck!
"Great! That makes me feel so much better. C'mon man, we gotta go. They're waitin' for me."
On the way, Heath pulled into the parking lot of a Godiva Chocolates shop, made Jake run in and get a box of candy for Aunt Harriet. When they got to Jake's folks' house, Maggie and their mom were waiting out front, discussing flowers in the flower bed. Jake hopped out of the passenger seat with his box of chocolates; Heath got their bag from the back seat.
"Hello dear. Hi Heath - I hope this doesn't upset your plans too much for the afternoon, us taking Jake off to the party," Naomi said, reached up and gave Jake a quick peck on the cheek, then Heath got one too.
"No ma'am, Jake told me I could hang out here - I was thinking I might go swimming," Heath said. He sounded way too happy about it as far as Jake was concerned.
"Ok, that'll be just fine. Jake, are you still driving, or is Heath your official chaffeur now?"
"Yeah, mom, I can still drive."
"Then would you mind driving us to the party?"
"No problem." He turned to Heath. "Do you think you might want to go anywhere while we're gone?"
"Not a chance. Here." Heath handed him the keys.
"'K. Well, have fun. Just put your stuff in the same room you slept in last time." His room.
Heath nodded. "Got it! Ya'll have fun too - see ya later!" He leaned down, winked at Jake across his mom, shut her door once she was all settled in and they were off.
They got back from the party about three hours later. Jake ran straight up to his room to change, looked out his window, saw Heath lounging on a float in the pool, wearing sunglasses and a red and yellow pair of his swim trunks, reading a magazine. Looking yummy. Hmm - not much he could do about that right now. He put on his light blue swim trunks, grabbed a towel and tromped back down the stairs to join him. He grabbed a couple of sodas from the fridge on his way out.
"Hey, we're back - wanna Coke?" he asked when he got out onto the deck.
"Sure... thanks! So, welcome back - how was the party?" Jake tossed the can to him in the pool and stood on the edge, sipping his drink and watching Heath float.
"Man, those people were crazy! I've never been groped and fondled so much in my whole fuckin' life. I think they must feed 'em all Viagra's and shit for breakfast or something..."
"Really man?"
"Really! I mean, I expected some cheek squeezing and kissing and stuff, but they were like - running their hands up my thighs, pinching my butt - I swear to you, one guy grabbed my dick!"
That got Heath's attention - Maggie walked out just in time to hear it too. "What'd you say, Jake?"
"Some guy grabbed my joint at the party!"
"Ewww, that's so gross!" she said, made an awful face.
"I'll say, Jake. I can't believe you'd let some guy touch your dick, man - that's totally disgusting." Maggie giggled - Jake looked out at him peacefully floating, reading his magazine - not for long, mother fucker.
He backed up to get a running start, then tore across the deck at top speed, letting out an ear-splitting war cry as he launched the perfect cannonball aimed exactly at Heath. Heath screamed "SHIT!" and tossed his magazine to the side just as Jake made impact and they crashed under the water, wrestling and grappling and grabbing dicks all the way down. When they were both out of air they pushed back up, broke the surface gasping and slinging water everywhere, still engaged. Jake leapt up, got the advantage and drove them under again, their wet bodies lunging against each other, sleek skin sliding, feeling so good. God, he was horny as a fuckin' mule! This time, when they came back up, he could hear his mother's voice. Shit!
"Do you think we should put the hose on them?"
"No Mom, they'll run out of energy in a few minutes - you know how boys are - out of control one minute - passsed out like dogs the next!"
Jake forced himself to let Heath go, they splashed water at each other for a minute, then he turned to his mom. "Hey Mom!"
"Hey sweetie. Don't forget, Heath's company - it's not nice to drown the guests!"
"Yeah!" he heard from behind, felt another big splash against his back. He grinned at his mom. "Did you need something? Don't worry about him - he's tough - he can take it!"
"It'd be nice if you guys were ready around five - you could help me set the table and get the glasses ready. The others should start getting here around six. It's four now."
"Ok Mom, we'll go get cleaned up in just a minute." Just as soon as you walk away, cause neither one of us can get out of the pool while you're watching!
"Ok, see you in a bit," she said and went back into the house, Maggie following along behind.
He looked back at Heath - he was diving for his sunglasses which were drifting slowly to the bottom. He finally caught them and popped back up. "We need to go get ready, dude. Mom wants us to help her get shit ready before the company gets here."
"Sure thing, man." Heath grabbed his Coke can as it floated by, they got out of the pool, dried themselves off and went up to Jake's room. It hadn't changed a lot since he'd moved out several years ago. His mom kept saying she was going to redecorate, but she always seemed to have a more pressing project and hadn't gotten around to it yet. The walls were a dark shade of taupe, his furniture dark brown wood, his comforter blue and green plaid - overall, pretty boring. To liven things up a little bit, he'd added a few posters of his favorite babes. Those were all at least six years old, showing a little age - he couldn't believe his mom hadn't taken them down yet.
Heath shucked out of his swim trunks and flopped down on the bed, eyes running over the pretty girls on the wall. "Hmm, no posters of me, I see. That's kinda disappointing!"
"Sorry man." Jake dropped his wet trunks on top of Heath's, lay beside him on the bed, head propped on one arm, free hand rubbing his chest and belly. "Believe it or not, though, I do have a kinky story involving a poster of you."
Heath looked at him, grinning. "Cool! Tell me."
"It happened a few years ago. I was dating this girl I'd met through Maggie. She was hot! A couple of years older than me. We were at her parents house - they were out of town and she was housesitting - we were up in her room, started making out on her bed - once we got naked, she pushed me down on the bed and climbed up on top of me and starts doing me. That was awesome - so I was just laying there, watching her tits bouncing and the expressions on her face, and then for some reason I looked up at the ceiling, and there was this poster of you up there - and it was almost like you were watching me fucking her. I'd just met you for the first time a couple of days before at some party - you probably don't even remember it........ we just shook hands, didn't really get to say anything except 'hello'........ so anyway, I just lay there on her bed and she was riding me, doing her thing, and i was watching you watching me from that poster - and when I came it was one of the best orgasms I ever had. Isn't that weird?"
Heath had been watching him through the whole story, an odd expression on his face. "I think it's pretty fucking amazin', actually. And I do remember that first time we met - I've got a story to tell you about that, but we don't have time right now. We better get a move on or your mom's gonna come looking for us!"
They took a platonic shower and got dressed, then reported for duty. The rest of the evening was non-stop busy. They got everything ready just as the first guests were arriving at six - it was after midnight before the last person left. Everyone was exhausted and went straight to bed. They fell asleep as soon as they hit the mattress, all thoughts of talking and fucking wiped out by the night.
The next morning Jake woke up early, needing to pee. When he came back from the bathroom, he started back towards the bed - it was only just past seven, his room was still shadowy, Heath was laying curled on his side, his breathing soft and even - there was nothing Jake wanted more than to crawl back into bed with him, but there was something else he had to do. His mom was an early riser - chances were good he could catch her alone. It was time to tell her what was going on.
Dressed in baggy sleep pants and an old t-shirt, he made his way quietly to the kitchen. He could smell coffee and muffins - wasn't sure if he could manage anything right now, the way his stomach was feeling. She was there, sitting at the big island in her robe and slippers, sipping coffee, reading the paper. He scuffed his foot on the tile as he walked into the kitchen - she looked up, smiled, didn't really seem surprised to see him. She probably knew something was going on. Afterall, he couldn't even fool people who didn't know him - how could he expect to fool her?
"Good morning, dear. You're up early."
"Mornin' Mom. Dad not up yet?" He was hoping the answer to that question would be 'no.' He really wanted to see how this news flew with her before breaking it to his dad. He dropped a kiss on her cheek, then went over to the counter to fix himself a cup of coffee. Even if he didn't want anything, he needed something to do with his hands. He buttered a muffin - they were blueberry, his favorite. Maybe he could eat one. Finally, there was nothing left to do, so he took his breakfast and sat across from her at the island.
"No, he's sleeping in this morning. Did you sleep well?" she asked, her attention drifting between him and the newspaper.
"Mmm hmm," he nodded, chewing on the muffin - he may as well have been chewing on a piece of the newspaper. She sipped her coffee, read for another minute while he chewed, swallowed, got all queasy and started to sweat. Shit, this sucked! He'd been planning this for a whole week, had been thinking about it for a month, and still he didn't have a fucking clue what to say.
He fiddled with his coffee cup. She glanced over, a small smile on her lips. "So, what's on your mind, dear? I know you aren't up this early just for the muffins."
"Mmm, no......" He looked at her, looked back down at his plate, still with half a muffin on it. He picked it up, started pulling it apart, making tiny pieces and a million crumbs.
"Well, this should be interesting. How about if I start?"
He nodded. Perfect.
"So, tell me about that ring you've been wearing. I never saw it till recently - now you wear it all the time. It's very nice."
"Thanks. It was a gift."
"I thought it might be - from somebody special, hmm?"
"Yes, somebody real special..." He drug his eyes up from the muffin crumbs, met her soft, curious gaze. "Mmm, Mom.......Heath gave it to me."
Her eyebrows shot up at that, her eyes got wide, but overall, she stayed pretty calm. "Heath? As in Heath Ledger..... upstairs in the guestroom Heath."
"He's not in the guest room, Mom."
"Oh..... I see......" She took another sip of her coffee. Jake studied his crumbs some more, waited. "He didn't stay in the guest room last time either, did he?"
"No ma'am."
"I didn't really think so - I can pretty much tell when a bed's really been slept in and when somebody just rumpled it up to make me feel better."
Jake felt like his heart was going to break. "I'm sorry Mom. I know you're disappointed and this is all messed up, but I don't think it's gonna go away. I don't want it to go away........"
"Sweetie, I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I think it's great and wonderful and it's my dream come true, because it's not. But it's your life, and if this makes you happy, I'm not going to try and stop you. You're just so young, you know - I'd hate for you to do something impetuous - maybe just because of this movie you're making - and then have it affect your life forever......know what I mean?
"Yeah, Mom, I know........but this isn't because of the movie. This started before we even started filming the movie, my first night in town, actually," he admitted, hoping like hell she wouldn't ask for any more details.
"Oh my......... I guess it's serious then, isn't it?"
"Yeah, I guess it is."
"Well! Have you made any plans - you're getting close to being done with the movie aren't you?"
"Yeah, we're almost done, but we haven't made any plans for after."
"So.......do you think you might live together, maybe here, at your place?"
"Mmm.......I just don't know Mom. We haven't really talked about any of that stuff, just been kinda going day to day, you know?" Jake was starting to get antsy now. How could he explain anything to her, when he didn't know anything himself. He was in a relationship that meant more to him than life, yet he knew almost nothing about it. This was fucking insane - they had to talk!
"Does he love you?"
FUCK! Jake felt the prickle of tears in his eyes. "I don't know, Mom - he's never said."
They both flinched at the sound of his harsh voice in the doorway. "What the hell are you talking about Jake? I told you how I felt weeks ago! You're the one who's never said!"
Jake spun around on his stool. "You've never said a word to me about it, Heath! Trust me, that's one thing I wouldn't forget!"
Heath gave him a funny look then, darted a quick glance over at his mother, then back to Jake. He walked up to him slowly, took his left hand and slid the ring from his finger. "You don't take this off much, do you?"
"Never, unless I have to, for filming......."
"Hmm, did you ever look inside it?"
"Yeah, when I first got it - I saw your initial." Jake remembered that night, standing in the dimly lit bathroom stall, still shivery from Heath making him come over the phone.
"There's more........"
Heath handed him the ring. Jake looked inside - in the small part of the band, in fine script, it said, "All my love, always."
"Shit Heath......"
"Jake!" he said his name sharply, shot a look over at his mom. Fuck! He'd forgotten all about her just that quick. He jammed his ring back on his finger, turned back to his mom, gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, said, "We gotta go mom - I'll call you later." Then he turned back to Heath, got a handful of his t-shirt and started shoving him back towards the door, growling in his ear. "C'mon. We're goin' home. And we're gonna get this shit straight or die tryin'." They jogged back upstairs to his room, Jake pushing Heath the whole way - packed quickly, silently, then hit the road. Jake drove. Heath laid his seat back and closed his eyes - gearing up for the showdown, no doubt.
When they got home, Heath took their bag and went straight back to the bedroom. Jake grabbed a couple of bottles of water from the fridge and followed him - Heath was sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard, eyes closed, when he got there. Jake handed him a bottle of water, took a swig of his own, leaned his butt up against the dresser. "Why the hell did you do it that way, Heath?"
""Cause I was fuckin' scared, Jake!"
"Scared! What the hell did you have to be scared of?" Jake asked, incredulous.
"Are you gay, Jake?"
"What?"
"You heard me! Are you fuckin' gay?"
"Fuck Heath - I don't know!"
"Me neither! I don't know if you're gay - I don't even know if I'm gay. All I know is that I'm so goddamned in love with you that I can't see straight and if I lost you my life wouldn't be worth shit to me anymore! So I've got a lot to be scared of, Jake. I didn't know for sure how you felt - didn't know if you wanted me to love you - maybe this was all just a big adventure for you. I sure as hell didn't want to say anything that might push you away from me. I figured if you felt the same way about me, you'd tell me once you saw that, and if you didn't, we could just ignore it, pretend like I hadn't said anything at all, keep on like we were. At least that way I'd still have you."
"Shit Heath!"
"Yeah, exactly." They just looked at each other for a minute, then Heath said, "Jake, I gotta have a fuckin' cigarette, man."
"Fine - I'll get you an ashtray." Jake found one in the kitchen, brought it back to Heath. He was in his same spot on the bed, smoking, fingers trembling. His eyes were a wreck. Jake had never seen him so freaked before. He sat the ashtray on the nightstand, sat on the end of the bed opposite Heath.
"There's somethin' else I need to know, man....."
"What?" he asked, his voice strained, just a thread above a whisper.
"How the hell did this happen, Heath? If neither one of us is even fucking gay, how did we end up together?"
Heath didn't say anything for a long minute - Jake just waited, didn't say another word either. He needed to know this more than he'd ever needed anything else before. This was the story of his own fucking life.
"You remember - yesterday - tellin' me the story about doin' that girl, lookin' up at my poster over the bed - and you said that was right after we first met, and how I probably didn't even remember that night......."
"Yeah."
"Well, I do remember that night, 'cause that's the night I fuckin' fell in love with you, Jake - the very first night we met." Heath was watching him close, reading his emotions as they flickered across his face.
"What the hell......."
"Yeah - that's what I said! I was just barely twenty years old - had just finally got sex with girls pretty much figured out. Never even thought about being with a guy. And then you came along and shook my hand - that's all you did was shake my fucking hand - and it was like everything else just faded away. You felt more real to me, more alive, than anyone else I'd ever touched. And you looked at me - God, that beautiful face, those forever blue eyes, your gorgeous mouth - and I was hooked, right then, right there... forever."
Jake sat there, stunned. "Jesus......."
"That party was such a mad house. We were both coming off good movies, everyone wanted to talk to us. I could never get near you again. I had to go back to Australia a couple of days later - had no idea how to get in touch with you, was too shy to pursue it anyway, so I went home."
"I dated girls - I tried to forget you. Six months went by, another event - you were there. I made a point of introducing myself again, shaking your hand. I thought maybe I'd imagined it all, made it out to be something it wasn't. But I hadn't - it was the same, that same heady feeling of perfection. I could've stood there all night just holding your hand."
Knowing Heath the way he did, Jake didn't buy that line, cocked a doubtful brow at him. Heath laughed harshly, said, "At the time I was too scared to do anything else - didn't know what to do anyway - I just knew that I wanted you."
"So why did it take so long for you to do anything about it?"
"It was so goddamned complicated. We lived a world apart half the time - I was straight, you were straight, one of us always had a girlfriend. I was completely out of my comfort zone. I didn't know what to do, sure couldn't ask anyone for advice."
"And then they called me about Brokeback Mountain, asked me if I would be interested. I said 'sure.' They sent me the script and the short story - I read them, liked them, met with Ang and read for the part. He liked me for Ennis, told me he was still looking for someone to play Jack. Asked me if I had any suggestions - was there any guy I thought I might have good chemistry with? I thought about it for a few minutes, mentioned your name. He asked why you. I said 'Because he's so goddamned sweet and beautiful - I think people could understand a guy like me - like Ennis - falling in love with him.' And I think, right then, that he knew how I felt. I know he talked to some other people about the part, but he was just going through the motions. I didn't sign my contract until after you signed yours."
"So the day finally came - there we were in Calgary. I still wasn't sure what to do, how to come on to you. I was gonna wait, go slow, see how you reacted to me when we got to the love scenes. But then, that first night, I saw this little sliver of opportunity, just to spend some time with you, and once I got started I couldn't stop myself.
Heath had been looking off, away from Jake as he'd talked, but he turned back to face him as he confessed, "I told you the only lie I ever told you that night."
"What was it?"
"It was about my room key - I didn't really lose it, I just didn't want to leave. I almost fell fucking out when you invited me to sleep in your bed." A small smile played around his mouth at the memory.
"Me too - I still can't believe I did that."
"Once you said that, and after the way you'd been with me all evening, letting me touch you, touching me, I thought I might possibly have a chance. That night you were pretty drunk - once you went to sleep, which was about one minute after you turned off the light, I thought you'd be passed out till morning. I waited a long time - I just wanted to touch you so bad - you were sleeping so soundly - so I scooted close behind you and tucked myself up against you. I was just absorbing the feel of you, your heat and your smell, and then I realized you were awake and it was too late for me to move away. You'd caught me! So I just lay there, pretending to be asleep, waiting for you to freak out, but you didn't, just started wiggling your ass back against my cock!"
Jake felt himself blushing - still couldn't believe he'd done that.
"Once you started that action, I decided I may as well take my chances - I couldn't ask for a better opportunity than that."
"No, I guess not."
"Are you sorry?" Heath asked, his eyes locked on Jake's.
Jake shook his head. "Never - not even for a minute."
"I've told you everything, man. You still haven't said."
Jake crawled up the bed, faced Heath, ran trembly fingers along his cheek. "Of course I love you. You're the center of my fuckin' world. You've turned me upside down and inside out till I don't even remember the guy I used to be before I was with you, can't imagine my life anymore without you. I know that I'll only be happy - truly happy - ever again in my life when I'm with you."
"Do you mean that, Jake? Do you really want to spend your life with me?" Heath whispered, eyes full of love and hope.
"Yes, I really do."
"Well, you're on, Rodeo! As of right now, you're mine and I'm never fuckin' lettin' you go!" Heath growled, possession fierce in his face as pulled him close, kissed him passionately, running strong sure hands over his body, murmuring words of love and desire against his lips. Finally he drew back from Jake's mouth, their eyes met - hot and heavy-lidded with passion - and he whispered softly, "What else do you want, Jake?"
Jake felt his heart start thumping hard, felt the tight clench in his gut just at Heath's words. Heath knew what he wanted, knew exactly what he wanted. He was already so hard, so needy - he was afraid just saying the words might make him come. "You know what I want......."
"Yeah, but I want to hear you say it. You can have anything you want from me - I just want to hear you say the words first."
"I want to fuck you, man.... I want it so bad.... seems like I'm hard all the time now, I can't keep my hands off you, it's all I can think about. I need you.......so.....fuckin'...bad......." Jake whispered, saw the excitement in Heath's eyes flare even hotter at his words.
"Then have me, lover. I'm yours for the takin'......." Heath whispered back.
Jake laughed softly, shook his head, ran trembly fingers down Heath's arms. "I want to so bad, you know, that I don't even know if I can."
Heath grinned, then kissed him soft on the lips. "C'mon, let's go take a shower, take our time - go slow."
"Ok, that sounds good." They kissed some more, loving, gentle kisses, then Jake got off the bed, took Heath's hand and led him along to the bathroom. Heath brushed his teeth while Jake got the water going, shed his clothes. Jake quickly brushed his teeth and followed Heath into the shower.
They kissed some more, standing under the hot spray, running their hands lightly over arms and backs, letting their cocks touch, but just barely, not wanting to drive their passion any higher just yet. Jake got the soap, lathered his hands and washed them both - Heath braced himself against the shower wall and gave him full access to his body. Jake made quick work of his front, didn't want to tease his dick any more than he had to, but he spent long minutes on his backside, rubbing soapy fingers up and down his crevice, working his fingers against his pucker. Heath spread his legs wider, squirmed hard against his fingers, needy cries sounding low in his throat. Hearing his lover moan, knowing what he wanted - what he was ready to give him - drove Jake right up to the edge.
"C'mon baby, I can't wait any longer," Jake growled, splashed him with clean water to rinse away the last of the soap, then turned the water off. They got out and Jake dried them off, first Heath and then himself, kissed him deep one last time before leading him back to his bed. Jake threw back the covers and Heath laid down on the fine cotton sheets, his head on the pillow, watching Jake crawl on top of him, his eyes full of love - Jake finally knew - and trust.
Jake straddled him just like the last time they'd made love, kissed him for a long time, tried to forget about the urgent pounding in his dick - wanted to make it good for him, wanted to make it last. Heath seemed anxious though - soon his hands were wandering down his back, grabbing his ass, urging him down. Jake sank onto him, their cocks got together, and everything went wild after that. Jake couldn't stop himself anymore, couldn't hold back, but he couldn't just plunge in either - knew it must've been a long time since he'd been fucked - knew how tight he was. He pulled his mouth away from Heath's, scooted down his body to his dick, started sucking him. Heath started thrusting as soon as he got him in his mouth. "Fuck Jake - I'm too far gone for that - I need you inside me, man...."
Shit! Jake grabbed the lube from the nightstand drawer, slicked himself up, hmm......slicked some more. Then he slid his fingers from Heath's balls down the sensitve little ridge to his pucker. "Spread your legs, man - let me in....." he whispered, eyes on his face. Heath spread his legs, pulled his knees up, raised his ass for Jake. Just watching him do it made Jake's cock twitch and drip. Jesus! He was going to be dying before he got to come.
Jake pushed his fingers in. Fuck, he was tight. He waited a minute, let him adjust, watched his face - his eyes were closed, Jake knew he was concentrating on his muscles, trying to relax. He felt him ease up, pushed in some more, got past the initial resistance and then he was in. Heath groaned as his fingers slipped in and began a slow, gentle thrust. "Ok?"
He opened his eyes then. "Yeah, it's ok." Jake curled his fingers just a bit, exerted a little more pressure. "Fuck, Jake - Jesus Christ!" Heath shouted, bucking against his hand. That was more like it! Jake rubbed him that way for a minute, enjoying his moans, watching him squirm, his cock twitching, getting all wet and purple on the tip.
"Jake, I'm so ready, man ...........please......." Heath begged, panting.
"Ok lover, here I come."
Jake pulled his fingers out, wiped them on the towel he'd thrown on the bed, lubed himself one more time - God, he was so fuckin' tight - then shoved his cock up against him, ready at last to make love to the man he loved most in all the world. He crawled up over him, kissed him with all the love in his heart, all the passion in his body. When he ended the kiss, he raised up, started pushing his cock inside him, slow and steady. Their eyes were locked - he saw Heath's go wide. "God, Heath - I'm fuckin' nervous man - it feels like my first time all over again."
"Well, be a little careful, Rodeo - ok? This really is my first time........"
"Oh, shit! What the fuck, Heath?" Jake ground out between clenched teeth, trying to steady himself - his cock was sliding in, all that lube was doing its thing. Heath's ass was so fucking hot - so smooth and tight - Jake had his whole body clenched up to keep from pounding into him.
"I'm sorry, man - bad time to mention it, I know..." Heath's voice was strained too - Jake didn't know if it was from pain or sex or both. Shit!
"Jesus Heath, how the fuck did this happen?"
"We'll talk about it later. Just fuck me now, please...... I need it Jake........."
Jake closed his eyes, couldn't look at him anymore - seeing his face so naked and vulnerable, hearing him begging him to make love to him, was driving him mad. Breathing deep, Jake started a slow steady thrust - Jesus! it felt so fucking good. He felt Heath move a little, angle himself, felt the little rub that told him he was hitting the spot, felt Heath's body quiver, heard his gasps of painful pleasure, felt his own heart pounding in his chest like it might explode, felt that same pounding in his cock - knew it was gonna explode soon, sweat slicking his body, legs quivering with the effort of holding back.
"More Jake, give me more.........."
Fuck holding back - Jake powered up his thrusts, sped up his rhythm, opened his eyes. The feeling of plunging his dick into Heath was the most awesome sensation Jake had ever experienced. He watched Heath's face, wreathed in passion, damp with sweat, could tell he was getting close. He picked up the pace some more, a little harder, a little faster, and then Heath was there, arching high on his cock, squeezing him tight from the inside - Jake watched as he closed his eyes in ecstasy and let his pleasure fly.
Jake let go then, couldn't stop himself - it was just too much and he was so ready - he reared up, dug his fingers into Heath's hips hard and pounded into him, had to - had to - into that hot velvet channel wrapped so tight around him, squeezing him, loving him, felt his orgasm surging through him like a freight train, coming hard as he ground against him, moaning loud, calling out his name, knowing in that moment that nothing in the world had ever felt more right to him than this.
A while later, they lay in the bathtub, the hot water swirling, Jake in the back, Heath laying against his chest. "So, d'you like that?" Heath asked.
"What do you think?"
"You seemed pretty pumped!"
"You noticed, huh?"
"Yeah. Hard not to, I guess."
"Mmm - so what about you? How'd you like it?" Jake asked - this was the important part.
"I liked it - I can definitely go both ways..."
"Hmm, that's good. So tell me, how did I end up being your first? How come you never did it with any of your other boyfriends."
"I didn't really have other boyfriends, Jake."
"You told me you'd been with other guys........"
"Yeah, and I have. Once I figured out for sure that I wanted to be with you, I realized I didn't have any idea about what to do if I ever got you. I didn't want to be so inexperienced - thought I'd have a better chance if I knew some stuff, so I hooked up with a couple of gay guys I knew back home. Told 'em up front what I wanted - took 'em out to dinner, couple of nice shows, and they let me practice on them."
"Jesus, Heath!"
"Yeah, I know it sounds kinda crazy, but I just wanted to be prepared, you know."
"I guess."
"So now you know all my secrets. You got any to tell me?"
"Hmm....." Jake thought about it for a minute. "Maybe...."
"Tell me." Heath said, crooked his neck so he could see Jake's face.
"I told you a lie once too."
"Oh really? What was it?"
"It was that first morning in Calgary, after we'd slept together, and we were fighting, and I told you I'd never kissed a guy before - that wasn't true," Jake confessed, had always felt a little bad about that lie. He drew his hands up Heath's chest, needing to touch him more even though they were already skin to skin all the way down their bodies.
"Hmm - ok, you've got my attention." Heath caught one of his hands, pulled it up to his mouth and kissed it.
"It had happened just a few nights before, actually - Austin came over one night, just to hang out one more time before I had to leave - we were goofing off, watching tv and drinking beer - when he pulls this DVD out of his jacket pocket, tells me it's gay porn, says I need to watch it so I won't look like an idiot when we start shooting the love scenes. I thought that was pretty stupid, but I'd never seen any gay porn before, had had enough beers to where it sounded interesting, so I said sure. So he put the thing in and we sat there on the couch and watched guys fuck for an hour. And when it was over, we were both hard and he leaned over and kissed me, and I didn't stop him, so he pushed me back and laid on me and we kissed and hunched on each other for a long time, till finally his cell phone rang and he had to go."
"Jesus - no wonder he was so pissed at me!"
"Yeah, he was all set to take up where we left off when he picked me up at the airport last time. He was mad as hell when he found out I was involved with you."
"Hmm, well, I can't say that I blame him. I think I'd kill anybody that tried to take you away from me."
"Don't worry, baby. Nobody ever will, I promise you," Jake swore, angled his head around for a deep, loving kiss.
"So, what are we gonna do now?" Heath asked when the kissing was over and he was settled back against Jake's body.
"You mean like this afternoon?"
"No, I mean with our lives."
"Hmm, I don't know. What can we do?"
"I know what I want to do........"
"What?"
"I want to marry you."
"Damn Heath! That'd be awesome as shit, but I don't think we can. That's kinda against the rules, you know."
"Yeah, I know, but I bet if we asked your mom real nice, she'd come up with something."
******************************************
Four months later, on a warm autumn evening in the back yard of Jake's parents' home - decorated with flowers and ferns and twinkly lights - but not a bit of white lace in sight ..... surrounded by their families and close friends, Jake and Heath stood together, and led by a clergy friend, they promised to love and cherish each other from that day forward, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, keeping only to each other till death did them part. They sealed their vows with a kiss and lived happily ever after. The End!