Meeting You Halfway - 50 Miles and There
Hey Guys. Last day of vacation in the mountains. It’s been great. Jack and Ennis would like it here. I’m gonna go sit in the hot tub and take in the view and think about them... I’ll be home tomorrow and hopefully get started on the last part of this little bit of stuff. Thanks for all the encouraging words and good wishes. Hugs all around. S!
PS: The BetaBabe is in Las Vegas, havin’ fun with her own personal Cowboy, so read at your own risk. The POV thingy changes midway, which I did on purpose this time. Bye!
50 Miles and There
Damn! Guess it’d be an hour drivin’ cross country.... but can’t make shit for time drivin’ through town... Didn’t figure on all this fuckin’ traffic at three o’clock in the afternoon.... Shit! Gonna be late! Was hoping to get there first and get the keys so we could just go straight to the place without doin’ much talkin’. Don’t wanna have to answer none a your questions ‘fore I get a idea a what you’re thinkin’.
Wish I could read your mind, just for a minute. Never wanted to do that before, never wanted to see all the stuff goin’ on in your head, ‘cause you’re always thinkin’ about what you want and tryin’ to figure out a way to get it. You ain’t never been no good at just acceptin’ the shit life hands you and goin’ on. I always been opposite, too set in my ways to try 'n change anythin’, just goin’ along with whatever got throwed my way, tryin’ to keep my head above water... Bein’ around you - knowin’ you wanted more and wasn’t scared to go for it - well, it just showed up what a big coward nothin’ I always been.
I been a disappointment to most everybody that’s ever had the misfortune to tie in with me, that’s for damn sure. Let down a lot a foremen back in the day, quittin’ jobs ‘cause I got a chance to see you, sometimes just ‘cause some fool looked at me wrong. God knows I let Alma down, and the girls too, but nothin’ I can do ‘bout any a that now but be sorry. Maybe this’s gonna be better for them too... get me out from under Alma’s nose, and I’ll be able to send ‘em a little more money if my new job works out.... And if’n my Daddy was alive, well hell.... don’t wanna think about that neither. He ain’t alive, and I am.... gotta do what I gotta do....
Damn... finally clear a all that traffic... Don’t see how city folk stand drivin’ in that mess every day.... Hope I can figure out a better way to get back to Riverton... Gonna try to go back every coupla months or so to see the girls.... Like I say, they’re gettin’ all growed up now, won’t have too much time for me, but Jenny’s still in high school... need to keep an eye on her. Don’t want her thinkin’ I’ve just up ‘n disappeared.... Course I tol’ ‘em what I was doin’. They’s all happy for me, thinkin’ this new job’ll cheer me up.... And yeah, I’m glad to be gettin’ into somethin’ different. Workin’ with horses’ll be better’n castratin’ calves and runnin’ barbed wire.... Don’t know if this guy knows a horse from his ass - hope to hell this ain’t gonna be no dog ‘n pony show, but hell - I worked at places gone belly-up before. Guess I can do it again.
Main thing is though, guess I’m hopin’ if I’m down here, closer to you, maybe we’ll be able to do things different... Don’t know what I want.... Well, yeah, I do, but I’m scared to ask for that.... Damn straight you’ll throw that right back in my face and rightly so.... So I’ll just let you figure it out, if you even wanna still do this thing with me.... If you ain’t already ditched me for him..... Jesus God I hope you’re there....
Looks like this is the exit I’m supposed to take... yeah, that’s it... Map says it’s about ten miles out this way..... It’s goin’ on four, guess if you’re gonna show, you’ll be here already. Funny... in all these years, I never once thought you wouldn’t show, always knew you’d be there, knew you wanted it as much as I did... and no, I ain’t just talkin’ about the sex, but yeah I know, I gotta work on that..... I promise it ain’t just the sex, Bud, much as I like fuckin’ you, and the other stuff we do uh-huh, like that too.... But I like it all - like ridin’ with you, listenin’ to you tell me about your life and your dreams - even when they make me feel like shit ‘cause I can’t make ‘em come true. I like sittin’ by the fire, drinkin’ and talkin’ about shit like UFO’s and ghosts and what happens when you die. You ain’t just my lover, Jack.... you’re my best friend.... missed you like crazy those four years we was apart, and I miss you just as bad now. Every time I gotta go home by myself after spendin’ a week with you, feels like I got a gut full a acid churnin’ around inside a me. Don’t wanna go on like this forever, know you ain’t gonna, don’t think I can neither. Sure hope it ain’t too late to fix it.....
*************
He was there.
As soon as Ennis rounded the curve, nine miles into the mountains, he saw the small country store with a couple of pick-ups parked out front. One was old and dented, the other almost new, familiar... bringin' on a sense of peace and relief Ennis's whole body had been starvin' for. Jack was leaning against his truck, watchin’ the road, waiting, smokin’... Ennis saw a cigarette clipped between the fingers of his hand draped across the metal truck bed. He was wearin’ his same ol’ black Resistol, blue jeans and a blue plaid shirt with the sleeves cuffed on his forearms. In a way he looked like the same ol’ Jack, but even though he couldn’t put a finger on it, Ennis’s mind registered differences.... He was the same, but not. Ennis blinked, focused again, but it was time to turn in, so he drug his eyes away from Jack and concentrated on the bumps and pits in the old gravel parking lot, not wantin’ to stress the horses anymore than he had to.
“You’re late!”
First words out of his mouth as soon as Ennis slammed the door on his truck, stirrin’ up a sting that Ennis figured was gonna pinch a lot harder before he was done. But at least he was here... Ennis could handle most anything Jack threw at him, long as he was here in person to do the throwin’.
Ennis hung his head, kicked at a big rock. “Yeah, I know. Traffic was bad comin’ through Denver.”
Jack nodded, settlin’ a degree, shot a look over at the cedar planked store. “’K. So what’re we doin’ here? Goin’ shoppin’?”
“Nah... just gotta check in. Get the keys. Get some food too, maybe...” Usually they brought food, but Ennis had been too busy packin’ to think about that. He didn’t know if Jack had brought anything or not, didn’t want to get caught makin’ assumptions.
Jack just nodded. “’K. Lead the way,” he said, pushing off his truck but waitin’ for Ennis to go first. Ennis figured maybe this was some kinda test on Jack’s part - was definitely a test for himself. If he had his way, this was the way his life was gonna be from here on out. Gotta get brave sometime, might as well start now, so he sucked in a deep breath of mountain air, nodded and headed into the store, climbin’ the solid wooden steps, feelin’ Jack close behind him, arms and hands and other parts burnin’ to touch him but Ennis keepin’ it tamped down for now.
It was just a small country store, but well stocked with easy camp food. Ennis and Jack walked the aisles, grabbin’ cans of raviolis and Spam and Vienna sausages, a box of crackers and one of cereal. They got milk, some cheese slices, a pack of ham, a loaf of bread and some mayo.
Enough to live on for three days if they never stuck their noses outside their cabin till it was time to leave. Ennis had brought the horses, but he didn’t care if they stayed in the small coral that came with the cabin the whole damn time they were there. If Jack wanted to stay in bed for three days straight, that’s what they’d do. Maybe he could write his own magazine article come Monday morning.
Once they’d worked their way around the small store, they both dumped their arm loads down on the counter. Ennis stepped up and spoke low to the old hippy dude who was watchin’ them from a stool behind the counter. “Got a cabin rented, like to check in. Name’s del Mar.”
The old guy smiled, grabbed up a sheaf of papers and started flipping through them, and Ennis got a whiff of pot, which made him feel better. He’d heard this place was more open to different types of folks... this guy, with his long, scraggly beard and handlebar mustache, brown losin’ the fight with gray, looked like he was pretty far entrenched in the different camp. With enough folks like him around, maybe he and Jack wouldn’t draw so much attention.
“Gotcha right here, man. Show ya checkin’ out Monday morning... cool?” he cocked a bushy eyebrow at them, friendly but businesslike all the same.
Ennis felt Jack step in closer behind him, but he didn’t move or give away that he noticed, just held his ground and answered the man. “That’s right.” He could hear Jack chewin’ on something.
“Just the two of ya?” the guy asked, squintin’ down at the paper he’d pulled out of his stack, his pen sittin’ by a square, waitin’.
“Uh-huh.... yeah.”
He checked a box on the form. “Great! Come up for the fishin, did ya? They’re bitin’ like flies out there! It’s crazy man! You’re gonna love it!”
“Uh... that’s good...” Ennis nodded, unable to match the man’s enthusiasm for a sport he’d never takin’ much of a likin’ too. He pulled out his wallet, ready to get movin’, not wantin’ to talk anymore about why they were here or what they were gonna do, even though he had a feelin’ that if he said No, we ain’t gonna fish, we’re gonna fuck each others brains out for three days, the guy woulda just nodded and said Cool...
Things was definitely different down here. Jack moved in a step closer, and Ennis could feel their shirt sleeves brushin’.... Breathe, Ennis, breathe.......
The store clerk smiled, happy that he’d figured them out. “’K... sounds awesome. You guys are gonna have a blast, man. Cabin’s nothin’ fancy, but it’s got all the mod-cons and a grill on the back porch. You get ya some charcoal so you can grill all the fish you’re gonna catch? It’s gonna be mighty fine!” he assured them, rubbin’ his hands together and smackin’ his lips behind the bushy mustache.... That’s what’s different about Jack, he’s shaved his mustache......
“I brung some,” Jack said, leaned on the counter and pushed his leg up against Ennis’s, out of sight of the hippy, who woulda probably just rubbed his hands together some more and pointed them to the KY. Ennis had seen a tube of it by the tampons and shit, but Jack had given him a shove when he’d slowed up, so he must already have that item covered.
“All set then?” and when they both nodded, he finally got busy ringing them up. Jack focused in on the dirty magazines kept safe behind the counter and Ennis took the unobserved minute to study him... Yeah, the mustache was gone.... he looked younger too.... more than just from the missin’ lip fuzz.... something was different...... still some grey in his hair at the temples, but not much.... hmmm......
Ennis was busy wonderin’ why he’d got rid of the mustache, since he’d seemed right proud of it just a coupla months ago, when hippy dude finished up and announced, “That’ll be $253.72, including lodging, groceries, fees and taxes. Cash or charge?”
Ennis jerked to attention, said “Cash,” and slid three one hundred dollar bills out of his wallet. He had most of his money hidden away in his luggage, but he’d made sure to have enough to cover this and gas ready in his wallet. Hopefully pay day wouldn’t be too far away.
Ennis pocketed his change, then listened attentively as the man explained how to get to their cabin. Five minutes later with a headful of directions he hoped he could translate into actual driving, he walked out of the store behind Jack, both of them with an armful of groceries. Jack walked straight to Ennis’s truck, which was closer, but stopped short when he saw the tarp covered bed. “Well damn, Ennis, can’t put nothing back here. What you got under this thing?” He lifted at the edge with one long finger, tryin’ to look underneath, but it was still tied down tight and he couldn’t see anything but blackness.
“Just some shit. Come on... let’s get goin’.... Need to get the horses out.” One of them stamped and nickered in the trailer, backin’ him up on his statement.
Ennis took long-legged strides across the rocky parking lot, anxious to get movin’, dumped his bags in the bed of Jack’s truck next to a big, blue cooler. Jack was right behind him again, brushin’ against his ass quick and smooth before he showed up beside him, droppin’ his sacks in too. Just that one touch was all it took to send Ennis’s blood surgin’ south. He grabbed hold of the truck bed to keep his hands safe. “Ready?” he asked, although there was nothin’ obvious left to do but go.
Jack took a second to arrange the bags, then looked up at Ennis. Their eyes locked for a second before Jack’s drifted down to Ennis’s mouth, like they always did... Oh fuck.... “Yeah, I’m ready,” and Ennis knew exactly what Jack was talkin’ about. He was ready too.... so fuckin’ ready.... but that wasn’t what this was s’posed to be about.... at least not all this was s’posed to be about. This was his chance, maybe his only chance, to prove to Jack that he really could do more than fuck. He needed to keep his shit together at least long enough to find out where he stood, because he wanted this to be the start of somethin’ new, not just more of the same old disappointing shit, where no matter what they did, it was never enough.... never enough...... and where on Monday mornin’ Jack might still go home thinkin’ about movin’ on with somebody new.