"...I think I may have a long way to travel..."

[sidney1216]

I hate this place. Yes, Seattle. Big surprise there right? I blogged about the trip home on myspace. It was good. Sunny, warm... And now we're right back to how it is all year round. Rainy and grey. Where'd summer go? No wonder why everyone here is insane or on drugs and homeless. It was nice to be able to walk down the street not seeing insane people everywhere yelling at nothing all the time. Saw three of em with a trip to the Q alone. People in Chicago are friendly. They smile and say hi on the street. Not something you get here.

I've been really depressed since coming back. And so fucking bored. Go to work, come back, be depressed and do nothing. What'd I do before I left? God...Everything feels fucking hopeless right now. Is it gonna be better anywhere else? Sure it wont be Seattle, and thats a damn good start, but can I really see myself living back in Chicago? I don't know. NY? I just about give up.

Dont really have any money anymore. Got plenty of credit card debt though. I still want a dog really bad. I think I'm really gonna sell my bike. Danny's gonna go back to school. Central. And that makes me feel....I dunno, shitty I guess. What am I doing? Working a crappy job. I don't know what I wanna do for school and I feel like that all hangs on moving. And when is that gonna happen?

Am I ever gonna be happy again?