HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY ONE AND ONLY!
today is my mom's 50th birthday... and her 2nd birthday since she's been gone. i can't believe it's her 2nd birthday already... and that she would be turning the big 5-0. it blows my mind.
most of today wasn't too bad. i worked at 5am, and time actually went by fast and it wasn't a bad shift. it kept my mind off of things for a while (i'm slowly becoming pretty good at that, just avoiding feeling much of anything). then working on a group assignment for a good part of the day kept me pre-occupied. then i came home and things started to settle in...
i have spent the last few hours thinking, and crying, and remembering, and crying, and thinking...
and now i am exhausted. and can't even remember everything that i was wanting to say.
this drains me completely everytime. i wish that i had the energy to type out everything that i am feeling. maybe tomorrow...
i want to spend this weekend hiding and feeling, and thinking, and getting things out that i need to let out.
her second birthday since she's been gone. wow. 2 years ago when she turned 48 a huge group of us got together and celebrated at don cuco. there was fun and laughter and birthday singing and an over-sized sombrero that was placed over her baseball cap which covered her still newly hair-less head. i was attached to her hip the whole night.
we completed each other.
my senior prom, 2003
hawaii, 1999 or 2000
her last birthday we got to spend together, 2004
<3 either easter or my cousin's b-day party, 2004. things were so hard, but look at that genuinely happy smile she has. <3 i treasure this one.
this picture has the power to bring out so much emotion out of me.