RIP WIP Challenge
What's a summer camp without ghosts? This is the RIP WIP ("Rest in peace, works in progress") challenge: Take those fragments of sick!Wilson creations that have been haunting you with their unfinishedness and post them in comments here. Bury them, mourn them, and let them go.
I was lucky enough to get not one, but two crack!fic diagnoses, and while I finished number 1 (pregnancy), number 2 (reverse fountain of youth) got a bit out of hand. I've definitely written more than a minute on this, but for the love of it I cannot find a proper ending. So here's the story so far, a complete crack!fic crossover of House and Pirates of the Caribbean.
Also it's a bit long, so might take several comments ;)
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At the time it had seemed like a good idea. Not that Wilson was worrying about himself, but House - with the drug use and other medical problems he had had over the years - also didn't get younger. And there was one thing that wasn't an option: losing him.
So, when during a drunk night in a bar a guy approached Wilson and told him that crazy story about a fountain of youth, how could he not at least be tempted to check it out? How could he have known that "checking it out" would involve being hired as a mariner on an old sailing ship? Wilson certainly hadn't thought it might. And by the way: old sailing ship? This thing looked like it had just come directly out of an old Hollywood pirate movie, or better, the 17th century itself. As did the captain, who was now approaching Wilson.
"So, I am told, that you, Sir, are a medical man?"
"Erm, yes, that's right, I'm a doctor, Mr. ... Sparrow is it?"
"That's Captain Jack Sparrow for you, landlubber. ... now, what brings you on board of my beautiful Pearl?"
"Erm... I heard what you were trying to find, and there's this person I care about and..."
"Say no more, Captain Jack Sparrow knows exactly what you want. A little bit of the water from the fountain of youth for you and your lovely lady. Well, do your part on this ship - and by this I mean 'try and keep the crew alive in case we encounter undead, sirens or a giant kraken' - and you will get your reward."
Wilson wasn't quite sure how to respond to this (giant kraken? really?), but still: the possible outcome sounded promising to say the least. Thank god he had taken a few days off, who knew who long this might take and what Cuddy would say if he didn't turn up for work tomorrow.
He began to doubt if it had been a good idea on his 3rd day on board. The constant mockery he had to endure from that ape might have had something to do with it. Also slipping on deck and spraining his ankle hadn't been much fun either. And on day 5, the encounter of another tall ship and the following battle - yes, a real battle: cannons, muskets, the whole nine yards - with some people who appareantly seemed to be French, really put him off the whole experience. He was trying to find something to help him and House stay together for some more years, not killing himself off while the crimson pirate's gay cousin directed them to god knows what remote island.
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But, amazingly, on day 7 already they actually landed. Wilson thought he had never been more happy to have solid ground under his feet. Though he was still limping a bit from his accident a few days earlier, he found that he could follow the small expedition that the captain led through the rainforest pretty well. And then there it was. Obviously. Because really, if you find a fountain in the middle of a tropical island, with what looks like the remains of a greek temple scattered around it, and (most importantly) which you can only reach by diving upwards through the roof of a cave... what else should it be than the fountain of youth?
A few of the pirates immediately drank from the water. But: nothing happened, much to Wilson's disappointment. What had he expected, though? Some miracle, and grown men rejuvenating into teenagers? Maybe the effect was simply more suble? Not aging any more seemed like a possible idea. "Oh well", he thought, and bottled up some of the water. The Captain was drinking from golden trinkets he brought especially, but for Wilson, the Evian bottle he had in his backpack would have to do. After all he wouldn't want the water to evaporate on their way back home. And then get it lab-tested before drinking. Of course. You never knew what might be in this...
A little more than a week later he was back in Princeton. When House asked him where he had been, he told him the truth. Well, pretty much. Obviously he left the part about the pirates and the fountain out, and made up a story about a cruise through the Caribbean. The ankle? Slipped on the dancefloor during lady's choice...
And even though the lab results showed nothing spectacular, Wilson finally decided to at least give it a try and taste from the water. Of course he had brought it for House, but if it was in any way indigestible he wouldn’t want his friend to drink it. A small glass should do it, right? That would leave enough for House if it really worked.
„Ok“, Wilson though after the first sip, „that wasn’t bad actually.“ A nice fresh taste, pretty much like the bottled water he usually got from the store. So some more won’t hurt, right? Emptying the rest of the glass in one go, Wilson put the drinking vessel back onto his kitchen counter and went - slightly disappointed at not feeling different at all - to bed.
…
„Where the heck is Wilson when I need him?“
„Sorry, House, I haven’t seen him yet“, Chase replied. „Maybe he overslept? Internal clock not back to work hours after his holiday?“
„You really don’t think that, do you? Wilson oversleeping? Much more likely he’s forgotten about the time while arranging his ties and socks in the drawer. Seems our patient will just have to stay alive until he arrives. Chase, page him, just in case.“
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When Wilson hadn’t arrived at lunchtime, House was getting worried. It really wasn’t like him to be that late. He took his bike and rode to Wilson’s flat, letting himself in with the spare key he secretly had gotten a few months earlier. Nothing against breaking in with a credit card, but he was tired of explaining to his bank how he again had broken another card and needed a replacement.
Inside the flat everything was silent. Or was it? House wasn’t sure, but he thought he might have heard something from the bedroom. „Wilson?“ He called out. „If that’s you, and you’ve finally got the guts to bring a hooker home you better let me know now, otherwise I’m coming in in a second.“ No reply.
Bracing himself for a possibly unpleasant sight of Wilson and a ‚lady’ he opened the bedroom door. And stood in shock. On the bed sat an old man. And when he thought ‚old’ he really meant ‚old’: deep wrinkles, white hair, long white beard… but what was shocking was that this was unmistakably Wilson. His Wilson!
„Holy smokes! What happened to you?“
„Don’t know“, ancient Wilson croaked. Even his voice sounded old.
„What do you mean, you don’t know? You can’t just turn into Santa Clause’s granddad over night and not have an idea how it happened.“
„… I’m not sure…“
„Spill it.“
„Well, there was this rumor about a fountain. And - you know I told you about being on a cruise?“ House nodded. „Really I was on a pirate ship, and we found it - the fountain of youth, I mean - and I tasted from the water, and then… well… THIS happened!“ Wilson sounded like he might cry every second now, while House looked positively speechless. What the heck?!?
„You - Doctor James Wilson from Princeton - went to look for the fountain of youth?“
Wilson nodded miserably.
„And appareantly you found something, cause I really wouldn’t know how to explain this otherwise…“
Another nod.
„But - how the hell can you age over night when it’s supposed, going by it’s name at least - to make you younger?“
„Dunno…“
„Ok, how did you come across this pirates?“
After Wilson spilled the beans on everything, House came up with a plan. They would try and find the ship and ask Captain Jack about a way to fix this. Obviously Wilson wouldn’t be much help, cause really, just walking to his couch took up most of his strength.
Two weeks later, House finally came across someone who looked as if he could work on a pirate ship, peg leg and everything. He wasn’t really looking for recruits right now, but some very convincing arguments (amongst them some bribery and the promise to make sure the man would need a hook, too, if he didn’t help him) got House on board.
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Still maybe save it for someday when you want to go with it? I bet there are a lot of fans out there who like both PoC and House. :)
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