(no subject)
sometimes i'm tempted to just delete this whole thing...it's so ridiculously emotional and petty that i'm almost embarrassed to keep it as my own. but you know what? i wrote each entry with the the most sincere need to say what it was i said each time while i was feeling what i was feeling at those moments. so i will keep them out of respect for my own trivial moments of seemingly necessary catharsis of sorts
although i can't understand why i couldn't just open a damned word document...but i'm too lazy at this exact moment to transfer all the entries...so...herm...
right now, i am pretty much as alone as i've ever been in life and i'm okay with it; it's not perfect but still kind of nice, just to be able to breath the way i wanna breath and what not and figure out the way i like to do things and the way i want to be without the pressure of living up to anyone else's assumptions or expectations of who i should be. so that's a pleasant surprise.
i had an epiphany of sorts of my own stupidity a few minutes ago...ready?...i realized that in the 4 or 5 serious conversations i've had with my 48 year old health-complicated father about acid-reflux, i always said that i would probably just melt from all of the tomato-derived acid i consume from, tomatoes themselves to...wine and vinegar. ...for some asinine reason i always attributed wine and vinegar (two of my most favorite of things) to tomatoes. Always, in these conversations.
i don't know...if you know me, this is really very out of character of myself and a bit sacrilege.
i'm tired and my eyes are threatening to burn right out of their sockets so...i'm going to go brush my teeth and cuddle with my pillow...in the nonsexual way you didn't initially assume i was talking about.
...you're gross.
g'night
although i can't understand why i couldn't just open a damned word document...but i'm too lazy at this exact moment to transfer all the entries...so...herm...
right now, i am pretty much as alone as i've ever been in life and i'm okay with it; it's not perfect but still kind of nice, just to be able to breath the way i wanna breath and what not and figure out the way i like to do things and the way i want to be without the pressure of living up to anyone else's assumptions or expectations of who i should be. so that's a pleasant surprise.
i had an epiphany of sorts of my own stupidity a few minutes ago...ready?...i realized that in the 4 or 5 serious conversations i've had with my 48 year old health-complicated father about acid-reflux, i always said that i would probably just melt from all of the tomato-derived acid i consume from, tomatoes themselves to...wine and vinegar. ...for some asinine reason i always attributed wine and vinegar (two of my most favorite of things) to tomatoes. Always, in these conversations.
i don't know...if you know me, this is really very out of character of myself and a bit sacrilege.
i'm tired and my eyes are threatening to burn right out of their sockets so...i'm going to go brush my teeth and cuddle with my pillow...in the nonsexual way you didn't initially assume i was talking about.
...you're gross.
g'night