i'm in a relationship
so i started dating T seven weeks ago. we basically went from email to dating to goin' steady in about two weeks. and i've been on an emotional roller coaster ride ever since. here's what happens: i experience some strong feelings for him, which i then communicate. then, a few days or a week after that, my feelings shut down, and i feel nothing. then, some time passes, and maybe something happens, and i start feeling all lovey-dovey again. i dunno.
T claims he's completely ga-ga, totally in love with me. writes me beautiful, mushy emails. whispers things sweetly into my ear. and sometimes i'm in love with him, & i write him mushy love letters. he sez he wants to live with me as soon as possible (altho we both know that won't be possible for quite a while) and that he wants to grow old with me.
what am i getting at? i'm trying to pinpoint a feeling or something. what is it? i really don't have any doubts about T. he's fun, he's funny, smart, kind, honest, silly, etc. he seems very hard working, and he even has a job (and just got a promotion). good taste in music & movies, & even picked out a shirt for me that at first i didn't like, but after i tried it on i realized it's really cool. anyway. i think what's bothering me is that we *don't* have long, soul-baring conversations, and i guess that's something i miss from other relationships i've been in. kind of how cycleboy never made me laugh. well, T does make me laugh, and he laughs at the things i think my BF *should* laugh at.
thus far, i haven't *needed* T to be there for me in some way. i have lots of other friends & family who i can rely upon emotionally. i guess i don't know how he would react in some kind of situation. also, i really have no idea what he needs from me (or anyone) in a relationship. we've just never really talked about it.
what do i NEED from a romantic relationship? gawd, i've become so fucking independent & self-sufficient, i don't know how to answer that.
T claims he's completely ga-ga, totally in love with me. writes me beautiful, mushy emails. whispers things sweetly into my ear. and sometimes i'm in love with him, & i write him mushy love letters. he sez he wants to live with me as soon as possible (altho we both know that won't be possible for quite a while) and that he wants to grow old with me.
what am i getting at? i'm trying to pinpoint a feeling or something. what is it? i really don't have any doubts about T. he's fun, he's funny, smart, kind, honest, silly, etc. he seems very hard working, and he even has a job (and just got a promotion). good taste in music & movies, & even picked out a shirt for me that at first i didn't like, but after i tried it on i realized it's really cool. anyway. i think what's bothering me is that we *don't* have long, soul-baring conversations, and i guess that's something i miss from other relationships i've been in. kind of how cycleboy never made me laugh. well, T does make me laugh, and he laughs at the things i think my BF *should* laugh at.
thus far, i haven't *needed* T to be there for me in some way. i have lots of other friends & family who i can rely upon emotionally. i guess i don't know how he would react in some kind of situation. also, i really have no idea what he needs from me (or anyone) in a relationship. we've just never really talked about it.
what do i NEED from a romantic relationship? gawd, i've become so fucking independent & self-sufficient, i don't know how to answer that.