Fear of the Unknown

[shyspy]

alix has this habit of turning things on their heads... today, this morning, he calls me and tells me that he is moving. he does not knwo where, but he is doing it today, and there are no ifs ands or buts about it. he will probably quit his job (which he is paid $10/hr at) and live in the woods or something. it sounds crazy, but i am up to it. i was planning on going to him, that has not changed. but what i need to bring along has. erg, it is hard for me to let go of the commonly held belief that money is essential to survival, that a person needs a house, a job and a clean change of clothes in order to be happy and contented. but i am indeed letting go of just that, for i do not need to be afraid. more than anything, i just want to be with alix, to spend my life with him, no matter where we go. i have a car i could sell, if the need arose, and i am determinde to make this work. i do not really even need to make it work, i simply have to let go of my expectations and allow the divine to manifest itself in my life. ALL MY NEEDS ARE TAKEN CARE OF AS I FOLLOW MY HIGHER PATH. i must remember this. i take this statement to heart NOW, and promise myself to do everything in my power to grow continually in my understanding of the universe, and in my harmony with it. ther is no neutral decision; every little choise you make will either take you closer or further to your goal. my goal is total and complete harmony with all things, the ability to exist without fear, second-guessing, separation, pain or need. i KNOW that this existence is possible, i know that the world as i described it really does exist. i know it is there, i know it is here!! and i want to live my way into it. i dedicate myself here and now to living the truth in all my actions, to taking the path to the new world that is waiting for me.

i know you will be there waiting for me.
i eagerly await meeting my friends and brothers and sisters in the heaven we all dream of.

over &out
shy-spy