unconditional
I IS BACK. :DDDDD (Okay, so I was actually supposed to be doing my CNY break's assignments. BUTBUTBUT THIS BRILLIANT IDEA JUST CAME IN, and I had to write this!) So my first take on OnKey.
Title: Unconditional
Pairing: OnKey
Genre: Angst/Romance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Behind that smile lies enigma.
---
"Key-shii, could you come out for a moment?"
Jinki had just as much energy as a snail did then, but he still lifted his head to gaze up and watch Kibum shuffle out of the room. Exhaustion was etched upon every inch of that - in Jinki's honest opinion - flawless, beautiful face, yet he still managed to move with a certain grace and poise unique to him, and him only. The very grace and poise that drew in all those fans, one by one, to the music that they continued to make every day. Back pressed against the studio mirrors, Jinki listened only very vaguely as Jonghyun and Taemin whined about how tired they were and how they'd like to get today's dance practice done with and head home to their shared apartment as soon as humanly possible. Minho sat with them, occasionally letting out a chuckle here and there.
The wooden door leading out to the corridor opened minutes later and Kibum re-entered, looking more worn out than ever. He moved to sit next to Jinki, taking large sips of water from the bottle Jinki knew was too small for the amount of water his dongsaeng consumed every day.
"What was that?" Taemin asked, scrutinizing his hyung’s expression.
"Huh? Oh, nothing - the manager just wanted to tell me that I had to dance with a little more force," Kibum answered.
"Really? I thought it was fine."
"You look at the others when you dance?" Jonghyun shot at the youngest.
"Yeah. I mean, it’s important that you coordinate with the other members, isn’t it?"
And while Taemin and Jonghyun immersed themselves in a rather pointless conversation about whether or not such an act is considered resembling stalking activities, Kibum let out a soft, melodic laugh, his face lit up in a dazzling smile. The very same smile that charmed millions of people around the world with its effortless charisma. Jinki was startled, almost, when he felt a warm presence on his thighs; Kibum laid his head on his hyung’s legs and gazed up at him, the smallest of smiles playing on his lips. Jinki was drawn to the depths of those enigmatic, unpredictable eyes, as he always was. They remained that way for what could've been forever, because time and everything else stopped for Jinki when he was with Kibum. The noise the other three were making were drowned out rather completely as the younger man started to speak.
"Hyung, I’m really tired."
"I think all of us are. Take a rest when we get home?"
"Mmhmm."
---
Jinki pushed the cool white sheets off his body and sat up, adjusting the cotton shirt he was wearing and rubbing his eyes. He spared a glance at the digital clock on his bedside table - it read half past three in the morning. And he felt it again. This empty feeling signalling that something was wrong, tugging at the very corner of his heart and mind. He walked over to the door and quietly opened it, careful not to wake anyone in their respective rooms. As he crossed the length of the corridor to the main sitting area, his thoughts inevitably went back to Kim Kibum. Jinki knew the others hadn't noticed it, but there was something amiss with Kibum today. No matter how exhausting choreography practice was, Kibum could tap into that boundless reserve of energy that he had and rarely felt tired, if anything. The living room was dimly lit by the small lamp that was frequently used for Taemin's reading purposes, which was strange, considering Jonghyun usually made sure all lights were turned off before bed. Scooting closer, Jinki noticed a figure sitting by the foot of the couch - a figure he recognized almost immediately. Kibum's hair covered the side of his face as he bent down; his fingers were twirling something small. To Jinki, he looked small, constricted, scared. "Kibum?" the leader called timidly.
Kibum's head snapped up so violently that it took all of Jinki's strength not to pull away. But Jinki's eyes caught hold of the younger boy's, and his heart could've shattered to pieces; Kibum looked frightened. He was trembling a little now, but still managed to hold the gaze. His eyes were glassy and welling with tears; he looked like a lost, abused child that just ran away from captivity. Jinki moved closer, dropped down to his knees before his lover. He reached out to touch Kibum, caressing his cheek, the soft skin trailing under his fingers. "What’s wrong? What happened?" he whispered.
Without a word, Kibum threw himself against Jinki, burying his face is his hyung's chest. The leader felt the front of his shirt grow wet as Kibum's tears began to flow freely. There was no need for anything else - Jinki wrapped his arms tightly around the younger man, encasing him in warmth and as much love as possible. And then Kibum began to speak, his voice cracking as he struggled to speak properly. "The manager told me that I couldn’t dance well enough. He said I was too slow, compared to the others. He asked me why I couldn't do it perfectly when all of you can. He-he said I had to do better, or... he’ll do it to me again," he said quietly, his voice no louder than a hoarse whisper. Kibum grasped a fistful of the other's shirt, and then spoke again, this time in a voice that was filled with even more fear, "But Jinki, you wouldn’t leave me because of that, right? You can't. I'll lose everything-" He cut himself off as he cried even harder, unwilling to think of any other possibility.
Jinki closed his eyes and took a deep breath, holding the trembling boy ever tighter in his arms. His mind drifted back to that September night when Kibum had first told him his deepest secret - a secret he would never speak of again - he had very nearly been sexually abused by their manager the past year. And unknowingly, Jinki had been the very one to spare him the torture; he happened to be talking with a stylist while walking the corridors and was close enough to have scared the manager off. If anyone else had known, forget the amazement at him being able to pick himself up so quickly, SHINee would have been disbanded without a second thought. The case would be taken to court, the fans would cause an uproar and, Jinki knew, Kibum would crumble under all that pressure. He lied and deceived with perfect ease, donning a mask of happiness every day after that and wearing fake smiles. But for several nights after, he would cry to Jinki. Simply that, there was no words involved - he would cry tears that were long due from him, merely kept in by that love and protectiveness he felt for this little family of his, for his real parents undoubtedly watching over him, for the fans that gave so much without asking anything in return.
"Kibum," he began, in a quiet voice, "I love you, always. I would never leave you to this, leave you alone - especially not over something so stupid. You should know that by now. You mean the world to me. I’d die without you." Jinki knew that if Kibum ever left him, which was unlikely to begin with, he would be the one that would cling to this love they shared. Because under all this, Jinki felt as if he was the one truly being protected. Slowly, Jinki shifted their positions, exposing his lover's neck. He placed butterfly kisses in a trail, whispering sweet words of love, relishing the scent and feel of the soft skin. His tongue darted out to lick where he knew Kibum was weakest, eliciting a soft moan from the youngster. His lips moved further up the familiar jawline and he gazed up at his dongsaeng, worried if this could be scaring him off instead of proving to him that nothing had changed. But Kibum was the one who surged forward to make the first move, capturing the leader’s mouth in a hot, rough kiss; his tongue pushed past Jinki’s unprepared lips without hesitation. But as Jinki slowly began to lose himself under the touch of the man he had loved so, he registered the sheer desperation in which Kibum responded to the kiss. He knew, the younger man’s doubts were still there.
They broke apart, breathing rather heavily. Jinki noticed a little object that sparkled whenever it came under the lamplight, and slowly parted Kibum’s fingers to take a better look at it. "This is... You're still keeping it," he whispered, meeting his lover's gaze again. It was the promise ring that he had been given the night the leader confessed his feelings. "This is all I have to remind me that I will always have you," Kibum answered, his voice equally soft. Jinki smiled a little, pushing the ring onto the younger man’s left ring finger. "No. You still have this," he murmured as he pushed Kibum as gently as he could onto a lying position on the carpeted floor.
And then Jinki spoke again, his voice beginning to fill with uncertainty: "Is-Is this alright? I mean, this. I'm afraid you might just-" Kibum lifted a finger to his hyung's lips, then trailed it downwards, touching every inch of Jinki's bare skin. His fingers finally came up to rest in the other's soft brown hair, pulling him closer, and whispered words that would forever be etched in Jinki's heart.
"Jinki, I'm scared. Not of our manager, because I know you'll be there, and you won't let that happen. I'm scared... because I don't want to you to leave me. I don't want to be apart from you. I need you. There are so many things you can do that I can't. But yet you still chose me, and sometimes I wonder why. But I don't care why. I'd hold on to this love forever. I know there are people out there that want to hurt us, hurt me. So make me yours, Jinki. Tell me that all of this isn't true. Tell me that I've just been overthinking again. Tell me that you would never let anyone hurt me. Tell me you love me unlike anyone else. Take me.”
Jinki smiled.
And that's exactly what he did.
Kim Kibum, you're mine now. Now and forever.
---
THIS FIC DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, DOES IT? DDDDD8
Dedicated to sakuranbokissx because she's my sparkly Taeminnie-ah, and just because. XDDD (I know I promised MinSu, and I still haven't let go of that idea yet, but I hope this makes up for the long wait? :D ♥)
Crossposted to shinee_replay.
Title: Unconditional
Pairing: OnKey
Genre: Angst/Romance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Behind that smile lies enigma.
---
"Key-shii, could you come out for a moment?"
Jinki had just as much energy as a snail did then, but he still lifted his head to gaze up and watch Kibum shuffle out of the room. Exhaustion was etched upon every inch of that - in Jinki's honest opinion - flawless, beautiful face, yet he still managed to move with a certain grace and poise unique to him, and him only. The very grace and poise that drew in all those fans, one by one, to the music that they continued to make every day. Back pressed against the studio mirrors, Jinki listened only very vaguely as Jonghyun and Taemin whined about how tired they were and how they'd like to get today's dance practice done with and head home to their shared apartment as soon as humanly possible. Minho sat with them, occasionally letting out a chuckle here and there.
The wooden door leading out to the corridor opened minutes later and Kibum re-entered, looking more worn out than ever. He moved to sit next to Jinki, taking large sips of water from the bottle Jinki knew was too small for the amount of water his dongsaeng consumed every day.
"What was that?" Taemin asked, scrutinizing his hyung’s expression.
"Huh? Oh, nothing - the manager just wanted to tell me that I had to dance with a little more force," Kibum answered.
"Really? I thought it was fine."
"You look at the others when you dance?" Jonghyun shot at the youngest.
"Yeah. I mean, it’s important that you coordinate with the other members, isn’t it?"
And while Taemin and Jonghyun immersed themselves in a rather pointless conversation about whether or not such an act is considered resembling stalking activities, Kibum let out a soft, melodic laugh, his face lit up in a dazzling smile. The very same smile that charmed millions of people around the world with its effortless charisma. Jinki was startled, almost, when he felt a warm presence on his thighs; Kibum laid his head on his hyung’s legs and gazed up at him, the smallest of smiles playing on his lips. Jinki was drawn to the depths of those enigmatic, unpredictable eyes, as he always was. They remained that way for what could've been forever, because time and everything else stopped for Jinki when he was with Kibum. The noise the other three were making were drowned out rather completely as the younger man started to speak.
"Hyung, I’m really tired."
"I think all of us are. Take a rest when we get home?"
"Mmhmm."
---
Jinki pushed the cool white sheets off his body and sat up, adjusting the cotton shirt he was wearing and rubbing his eyes. He spared a glance at the digital clock on his bedside table - it read half past three in the morning. And he felt it again. This empty feeling signalling that something was wrong, tugging at the very corner of his heart and mind. He walked over to the door and quietly opened it, careful not to wake anyone in their respective rooms. As he crossed the length of the corridor to the main sitting area, his thoughts inevitably went back to Kim Kibum. Jinki knew the others hadn't noticed it, but there was something amiss with Kibum today. No matter how exhausting choreography practice was, Kibum could tap into that boundless reserve of energy that he had and rarely felt tired, if anything. The living room was dimly lit by the small lamp that was frequently used for Taemin's reading purposes, which was strange, considering Jonghyun usually made sure all lights were turned off before bed. Scooting closer, Jinki noticed a figure sitting by the foot of the couch - a figure he recognized almost immediately. Kibum's hair covered the side of his face as he bent down; his fingers were twirling something small. To Jinki, he looked small, constricted, scared. "Kibum?" the leader called timidly.
Kibum's head snapped up so violently that it took all of Jinki's strength not to pull away. But Jinki's eyes caught hold of the younger boy's, and his heart could've shattered to pieces; Kibum looked frightened. He was trembling a little now, but still managed to hold the gaze. His eyes were glassy and welling with tears; he looked like a lost, abused child that just ran away from captivity. Jinki moved closer, dropped down to his knees before his lover. He reached out to touch Kibum, caressing his cheek, the soft skin trailing under his fingers. "What’s wrong? What happened?" he whispered.
Without a word, Kibum threw himself against Jinki, burying his face is his hyung's chest. The leader felt the front of his shirt grow wet as Kibum's tears began to flow freely. There was no need for anything else - Jinki wrapped his arms tightly around the younger man, encasing him in warmth and as much love as possible. And then Kibum began to speak, his voice cracking as he struggled to speak properly. "The manager told me that I couldn’t dance well enough. He said I was too slow, compared to the others. He asked me why I couldn't do it perfectly when all of you can. He-he said I had to do better, or... he’ll do it to me again," he said quietly, his voice no louder than a hoarse whisper. Kibum grasped a fistful of the other's shirt, and then spoke again, this time in a voice that was filled with even more fear, "But Jinki, you wouldn’t leave me because of that, right? You can't. I'll lose everything-" He cut himself off as he cried even harder, unwilling to think of any other possibility.
Jinki closed his eyes and took a deep breath, holding the trembling boy ever tighter in his arms. His mind drifted back to that September night when Kibum had first told him his deepest secret - a secret he would never speak of again - he had very nearly been sexually abused by their manager the past year. And unknowingly, Jinki had been the very one to spare him the torture; he happened to be talking with a stylist while walking the corridors and was close enough to have scared the manager off. If anyone else had known, forget the amazement at him being able to pick himself up so quickly, SHINee would have been disbanded without a second thought. The case would be taken to court, the fans would cause an uproar and, Jinki knew, Kibum would crumble under all that pressure. He lied and deceived with perfect ease, donning a mask of happiness every day after that and wearing fake smiles. But for several nights after, he would cry to Jinki. Simply that, there was no words involved - he would cry tears that were long due from him, merely kept in by that love and protectiveness he felt for this little family of his, for his real parents undoubtedly watching over him, for the fans that gave so much without asking anything in return.
"Kibum," he began, in a quiet voice, "I love you, always. I would never leave you to this, leave you alone - especially not over something so stupid. You should know that by now. You mean the world to me. I’d die without you." Jinki knew that if Kibum ever left him, which was unlikely to begin with, he would be the one that would cling to this love they shared. Because under all this, Jinki felt as if he was the one truly being protected. Slowly, Jinki shifted their positions, exposing his lover's neck. He placed butterfly kisses in a trail, whispering sweet words of love, relishing the scent and feel of the soft skin. His tongue darted out to lick where he knew Kibum was weakest, eliciting a soft moan from the youngster. His lips moved further up the familiar jawline and he gazed up at his dongsaeng, worried if this could be scaring him off instead of proving to him that nothing had changed. But Kibum was the one who surged forward to make the first move, capturing the leader’s mouth in a hot, rough kiss; his tongue pushed past Jinki’s unprepared lips without hesitation. But as Jinki slowly began to lose himself under the touch of the man he had loved so, he registered the sheer desperation in which Kibum responded to the kiss. He knew, the younger man’s doubts were still there.
They broke apart, breathing rather heavily. Jinki noticed a little object that sparkled whenever it came under the lamplight, and slowly parted Kibum’s fingers to take a better look at it. "This is... You're still keeping it," he whispered, meeting his lover's gaze again. It was the promise ring that he had been given the night the leader confessed his feelings. "This is all I have to remind me that I will always have you," Kibum answered, his voice equally soft. Jinki smiled a little, pushing the ring onto the younger man’s left ring finger. "No. You still have this," he murmured as he pushed Kibum as gently as he could onto a lying position on the carpeted floor.
And then Jinki spoke again, his voice beginning to fill with uncertainty: "Is-Is this alright? I mean, this. I'm afraid you might just-" Kibum lifted a finger to his hyung's lips, then trailed it downwards, touching every inch of Jinki's bare skin. His fingers finally came up to rest in the other's soft brown hair, pulling him closer, and whispered words that would forever be etched in Jinki's heart.
"Jinki, I'm scared. Not of our manager, because I know you'll be there, and you won't let that happen. I'm scared... because I don't want to you to leave me. I don't want to be apart from you. I need you. There are so many things you can do that I can't. But yet you still chose me, and sometimes I wonder why. But I don't care why. I'd hold on to this love forever. I know there are people out there that want to hurt us, hurt me. So make me yours, Jinki. Tell me that all of this isn't true. Tell me that I've just been overthinking again. Tell me that you would never let anyone hurt me. Tell me you love me unlike anyone else. Take me.”
Jinki smiled.
And that's exactly what he did.
Kim Kibum, you're mine now. Now and forever.
---
THIS FIC DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, DOES IT? DDDDD8
Dedicated to sakuranbokissx because she's my sparkly Taeminnie-ah, and just because. XDDD (I know I promised MinSu, and I still haven't let go of that idea yet, but I hope this makes up for the long wait? :D ♥)
Crossposted to shinee_replay.