You said, "I miss you son, come home."
I'm kind of bored so I guess I'll update again. It feels really good to be bored, I never thought I'd say that =). So anyway. Today was busy and I'm pretty exhausted. Mom woke me up around 10 to go to my house and plaster and clean the walls in the hallway so we can paint on Thursday. So we got there, and accomplished that, but left earlier than expected because today was a bad health day for me. My symptoms were just off the walls and I was so ill feeling and it makes me so exhausted when it happens, so I was just really blah feeling and wanted to go home. I didn't really have much time to relax, because I had physical therapy for my foot at three. It only lasted for 45 minutes, but they have to do an ultrasound medicine treatment or something, where gel medicine is massaged into my foot and then the physical therapist massages my foot with his fingers to break up the scar tissue. Damn does that fucking hurt a lot. But it will feel better in the long run, and that will be wonderful.
So after dinner I was still feeling like shit, but I had promised Gerri I would go with her to get her dermal anchors done. So I went with her around 7 and damn are those the grossest piercings in the entire world, I couldn't even watch. She dug her fingernails into my hands though and cut off the circulation and bruised me. So then we went to Dunkin Donuts and ran into Mary-Kate. I went home afterwards though cause I really wasn't feeling well and I just wanted to be home. You know how it is, when you're sick you just want to be home with mommy.
Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment (story of my life till they figure out what's wrong) and then Mom, Teri and I are going to the Eastman house to see their gingerbread house exhibit. I'm glad we get to spend time together doing something cool like that =). However, I wish I didn't feel like I "lost" a best friend. I don't think lost is the right word, but something that happened made me rethink who I thought they were (sad as it is, I won't beat around the bush) and now I feel like I can't talk to them, or when I do, it's strained. At least that's how it was tonight on the phone, and yesterday slightly too. I know it's not my fault that this happened, but I love this person and I don't want to lose them, but sadly I can already feel our friendship slipping from my grasp and I can almost feel that it's never going to be the same again. If that's how it's going to be, it is what it is and I can't do anything about it, especially since I didn't cause this in the first place. But it's always sad when a friendship either changes or is altered because of something. And even if you want it to feel like nothing ever happened, and you want to go back to how it was, you just can't - at least not fully. And if you can, it doesn't happen quickly by any means.
I've missed being in touch with my spiritual side. I have discovered ways to become closer to God and happier with my life in ways that I used to live by before. It's funny how just a 5-minute prayer every night can alter your perception on life, etc. And it's sad, but my sickness has made me appreciate life and living and just everything that comes with it so much more. I wish it didn't take a disease (I haven't officially been diagnosed yet, but the doctor's are pretty sure) to make me appreciate things, but that's how it happened. I appreciated things before, but now I don't take things for granted, and I try to smile more and make the most out of everything. It just kind of shows you that nothing is guaranteed - just because I look healthy doesn't mean I am, and just because I did nothing to make myself sick doesn't mean I'm invincible. I never really thought I was, I was always quite rational in that sense.
Alright I'm tired, I want to read my book, and I have to get up early. So peace.
So after dinner I was still feeling like shit, but I had promised Gerri I would go with her to get her dermal anchors done. So I went with her around 7 and damn are those the grossest piercings in the entire world, I couldn't even watch. She dug her fingernails into my hands though and cut off the circulation and bruised me. So then we went to Dunkin Donuts and ran into Mary-Kate. I went home afterwards though cause I really wasn't feeling well and I just wanted to be home. You know how it is, when you're sick you just want to be home with mommy.
Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment (story of my life till they figure out what's wrong) and then Mom, Teri and I are going to the Eastman house to see their gingerbread house exhibit. I'm glad we get to spend time together doing something cool like that =). However, I wish I didn't feel like I "lost" a best friend. I don't think lost is the right word, but something that happened made me rethink who I thought they were (sad as it is, I won't beat around the bush) and now I feel like I can't talk to them, or when I do, it's strained. At least that's how it was tonight on the phone, and yesterday slightly too. I know it's not my fault that this happened, but I love this person and I don't want to lose them, but sadly I can already feel our friendship slipping from my grasp and I can almost feel that it's never going to be the same again. If that's how it's going to be, it is what it is and I can't do anything about it, especially since I didn't cause this in the first place. But it's always sad when a friendship either changes or is altered because of something. And even if you want it to feel like nothing ever happened, and you want to go back to how it was, you just can't - at least not fully. And if you can, it doesn't happen quickly by any means.
I've missed being in touch with my spiritual side. I have discovered ways to become closer to God and happier with my life in ways that I used to live by before. It's funny how just a 5-minute prayer every night can alter your perception on life, etc. And it's sad, but my sickness has made me appreciate life and living and just everything that comes with it so much more. I wish it didn't take a disease (I haven't officially been diagnosed yet, but the doctor's are pretty sure) to make me appreciate things, but that's how it happened. I appreciated things before, but now I don't take things for granted, and I try to smile more and make the most out of everything. It just kind of shows you that nothing is guaranteed - just because I look healthy doesn't mean I am, and just because I did nothing to make myself sick doesn't mean I'm invincible. I never really thought I was, I was always quite rational in that sense.
Alright I'm tired, I want to read my book, and I have to get up early. So peace.