Comments | shutupsammy: thirty-one beers

shutupsammy

thirty-one beers

Apr 19, 2009 19:09

[ In his dream, they do nothing. It isn't the same as reality, but Dean's subconscious has never been particularly forgiving of himself, not in the slightest, and Dean's subconscious believes he might have deserved this a little, the pain and the loneliness and the dying and going to Hell ( Read more... )

maneaters, nostalgia is for whiners, lilith, dean hates demons, didn't deserve to go to hell, didn't deserve to die, dean hates curses, cursed, what's dead should stay dead, our lives are weird, anything but the face, hellhounds, four months in hell, puppy chow, deep-seated issues, black-eyed skank, sammy, dean hates zombies, dean hates angels, strap your party hat on, full-on dorothied that mother, sam why are you so easy

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we'll gather around the fire and i don't need the choir ordered April 20 2009, 03:12:51 UTC

They were nightmares that were all too familiar. Reality clouded by fantasy clouded by reality. Where Dean's memories of the past were brought to the forefront yet again. And while a part of Castiel wished that there was a way he could help the man, he knew it wasn't his place to interfere. From memories of Heaven through to a representation of Hell. But this was one worse. This wasn't something he could shrug off the next day and pretend didn't happen. This was something that was being made public to all those who chose to look.

That was the part he knew would be taken worse.

And yet, despite better knowledge, Castiel hadn't kept from entering too. Though his reasons differed from what they should have been. It wasn't for information, nor to 'wake him up'. Castiel's reason for following after Dean was concern. Whether it was Winchester or Smith, Dean was his charge, and from his point of view, his friend. He refused to stand back and just watch, again. Even if there was a rule being broken in the process.

we'll gather around the fire and i don't need the choir shutupsammy April 20 2009, 07:34:03 UTC

The first thing that Dean regards the second Castiel with, the real one, not the figment of his subconscious standing next to the taller angel off to the side, is guilt. The guilt only lasts a moment before it fades into irritation. It's an immature emotion, like a child being angry because he got caught in a lie. Dean's emotions are that undeveloped in some cases, though, and with reasonable cause. He hasn't done a lot of appropriate growing up in his life. Still. It doesn't fit the situation, either, not when Dean hasn't done anything to cause the dreams that he's been having ( ... )

we'll gather around the fire and i don't need the choir ordered April 20 2009, 19:45:02 UTC

It's only around this one human that Castiel ever feels comfortable enough to speak freely. Even his own brothers don't provide the same outlet that Dean can. And even if the man may not believe him if he ever said it, this is yet another reason as to why the angel considers Dean to be important. On a personal level as well as professional.

"Neither." Though this in itself is a lie. "Certain...memories of mine have been seen though." He has been affected. He might well still be affected at this very moment. But despite all that had happened with Ruby, he can't fully consider his own affliction to be purely a curse. He had gained answers he wouldn't have found in any other way. And if this meeting can be used in a similar fashion, then he will do what he has to. But not for him, this time.

"This isn't a place either of us should be." Dean's nightmare is one that he deserves to be free from, after all else that has happened.

we'll gather around the fire and i don't need the choir shutupsammy April 21 2009, 21:35:45 UTC

"Oh," Dean says, voice without much emotion and obvious. It's more of a grunt of acknowledgment than anything, because Dean can't even fathom-- doesn't want to consider --Castiel being able to have dreams, or to sleep in order to. He moves closer, tilting his head to look down into Castiel's face for a second before pulling his own gaze away. He never is able to hold a look like that with Castiel.

Eyes darting around the room, they linger on the dream-Uriel's face and then on Dean's own bloody, open-eyed corpse face.

"This isn't a place I want to be, in case you haven't noticed. I'll get some drugs and make them stop. Some kind of anti-psychotics or something. Probably not an ethical, doctor-recommended use, but what the hell."

we'll gather around the fire and i don't need the choir ordered April 22 2009, 03:59:00 UTC

Memories considered dreams, and used by the City to share information with the very person he should be keeping things from. But in the end, it has worked out for the better, somehow. He's learnt a lot about the demon, and in turn, he hopes that she too has picked up enough to sate at least some of her curiosities.

Castiel barely moves at Dean's inspection. There have only been a few times that Dean has managed to put him in to a position where, had he been human, he would have felt fear. And none of these times had been for his own safety. Had this nightmare been reality, then this would be another to add to the list. But as it is, his only concerns stand with how Dean will be once he has woken up after this. Whichever memories remain intact.

"Then why are you still here?" There's no judgement in his voice. He can't bring himself to add it. Instead it's just a simple question, with perhaps not such a simple answer. This was still a part of Dean's mind, so if he really wanted to leave, there had to be a way for him to do it. On his

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