H is for: Happy or not, those pictures are Hot! (part 9)
Title: H is for: happy or not, those pictures are Hot!
Author: ShutupEccles
pairing: Arthur/Merlin
word count = 1179
Rating: 17+
Disclaimer: Characters are reproductions of BBC reproductions of characters from Arthurian legend.
Warning: some fluff , masturbation references
Beta: BigOlArthurFan
Summary: ...“You imbecile!” Uther bellowed at Arthur as he emerged from the kitchen munching on an egg and bacon roll. His son raised as eyebrow and finished his mouthful.
“You’ve seen the pictures then.” He blandly stated the obvious and calmly took another bite.
“???” Morgana demanded silently. Arthur took a rolled up magazine from his pocket and handed it to her...
9. Happy or not, those pictures are Hot!
Uther was furious.
He didn’t bother with a phone call but drove straight to Arthur and Morgana’s. He did something he had never done since letting them use the house: used his own secret set of keys to get in.
“Where is he?” he raged at his stunned step-daughter. “Don’t protect him this time Morgana!” he stormed as he swept past her, heading to the bedrooms. Morgana hoped like hell neither of them were in there.
“You imbecile!” Uther bellowed at Arthur as he emerged from the kitchen munching on an egg and bacon roll. His son raised as eyebrow and finished his mouthful.
“You’ve seen the pictures then.” He blandly stated the obvious and calmly took another bite.
“???” Morgana demanded silently. Arthur took a rolled up magazine from his pocket and handed it to her.
“This one’s my favourite.”
He tapped the cover as she unrolled the offering with a soft “Oh my. My, my, my. Can I have this?”
“No you cannot!” Uther snatched it away from her, “Do you have any idea how much your lunacy will cost us? If we sue it will only generate more publicity over your sexual indiscretion. The paparazzi will be all over you!”
“So don’t file a lawsuit. That’s obviously me - look, you can see my birthmark on page...’
“There are more inside?!” Morgana snatched it back and hid behind Arthur as she eagerly flicked through the pages with an “oohoo!” of approval.
“Break it off with this...’ Uther’s nose rose in disgust.
“Man, Father.”
“That’s Merlin’s coin-op! That explains the sudden appearance of that wretched old...eugh, I’ve been touching that!” Morgana muttered behind him, but continued to examine the pictures.
“You were told to stop wasting your time with men. Look what he’s done!”
“What I have done you mean. That’s me. Every one of those is genuine. I have the original footage. Merlin is not some empty distraction to help me get over Guinevere Father; he is my heart, which should be obvious now you’ve seen the evidence.”
“Get - rid - of - him!”
“No. If you threaten or hurt him...I’m not hiding any more. I’ve asked him to live with me.”
“Not in my house.” Uther snarled.
“Actually Uther, it’s mine.” Morgana attempted to intervene.
“Why do you insist on hooking up with grasping low class trash? He’s only after you for what he can get. End it now or you are no longer my son.”
“Do you really think so little of me that my only redeemable feature is you?” Arthur’s hollow tone was achingly familiar to Morgana and she boldly stepped between them.
“You are no longer welcome in my home Uther. Please leave.”
Uther scowled at her menacingly and Arthur placed a hand protectively on her shoulder, worried his father may strike her as he had done in the past.
“You told us years ago to invest in property so we did.” He explained, trying to draw his father’s wrath back to himself, but Morgana would have none of that.
“This property. Arthur sold me his share after G...”
“Before I took that extended vacation, in case I decided not to come back.” He had forgotten about that. He should have asked her before asking Merlin.
“You and Merlin are quite welcome to live here Arthur.”
Uther nodded, not in satisfaction but angry acknowledgement of their decisions. “Very well, you leave me no choice. You are no longer my son nor my employee, and you,’ he pointed furiously at Morgana, ‘you are nothing to me. See how much your filthy scandal still wants you when you are nobody!”
Uther paused on his way out as Brian Johnson screamed from Arthur’s pants: “the walls start shakin’, the earth was quakin’, my mind was achin’ and we were makin’ it, you - shook me all - night - long”. No one needed to ask who was calling. Arthur hoped his lover understood the intent of his actions and didn’t feel used or offended. Too late now.
“How hot are we?!” Merlin cried ecstatically down the phone.
“So you approve?” Arthur grinned in relief and excitement, unaware he activated the loudspeaker on his new mobile with a trembling thumb.
“Approve? I’ve been whacking off into that two-page one half the morning! Love the headline too: Arthurised! Well and truly! Get your fabulous arse round here so I can page 16 you - no, wait, that’s a tampon ad - page 26, sideways this time. I thought you were joking about selling pictures. Man I love you.”
“YOU did this?!” Uther roared at his son.
“What the fuck’s that?” Merlin squeaked.
Morgana deftly took the phone and headed down the hallway. “A rampaging ogre, don’t you worry about it, our hero can handle it. He’ll be there in twenty. What magazine do you have? My page 26 has a stupid clairvoyant...”
“Good thing too.’ Arthur retorted, ‘Now that you’ve disinherited me I need the money. God knows how Morgana will cope though, abandoned by the very man she hates. Perhaps what you’re really worried about is not the fact that I’m publicly sticking it to a man, but that I sold the pictures proving it to your rivals instead of further lining your pockets? You already ruined my first chance at happiness by contaminating my relationship with Guinevere with your petty greed; I am not letting you do it again to Merlin! This is my life, my love, my terms. Get out of my sight. I would rather be an orphan than connected to you in any way.”
Uther turned and stormed past Morgana who hurriedly brought the phone back to her ear after taking it off speaker.
“Did you get all that? ‘My life, my love’ isn’t he delicious? God I hate you Merlin...ha, ha, ha...When did you want to move in? Wednesday’s good...Next Wednesday? Why wait? ...Oh really? How ouchy for you...Yes he can be like that...I’ll make sure I’m out and you two can have some first-night privacy...Why would I have a problem with it? You two are so uncontrollable my friends and I are bound to ‘accidentally’ catch you at it somewhere...Oh no, the possibility of live shows far outweighs any of that...ha, ha...Kisses to you.”
She flipped the phone back to Arthur with a radiant smile of praise. “Well done you! If Merlin doubts how serious you are about him after this I shall bestow upon him the title of ‘emo’. Before I go...can I have the one Merlin was talking about, with the interesting page 26?”
“Ah, no, it’s not fit to be read by a Lady.”
“Arthur, we played swapsies with Merlin on the kitchen table, I can handle some 2D porn.”
“I meant it’s in no fit condition to ...” his voice got quieter as his face blushed louder.
Morgana’s laugh rippled joyously as she touched his cheek with fond familiarity, and it continued to trail behind her like petals caught in a breeze as she slung the purple leather and lace handbag she created about her shoulder.
“Better go buy my own then.”
part 10