sappy love
The only time I really cry in movies or tv shows is when
A. Someone I like is crying
B. Someone dies (rarely do I cry then though)
C. An animal is being abused or dies
But last night I cried during the office, in the episode where Jim jokes to Pam about proposing and then shows the camera the ring and says he bought it two weeks after they started dating. I cried like a little sissy girl.
It's weird that I don't cry about the sweet stuff more often because I'm such a cryer.
And then I cried alot in bed because I was worried that I'd never get my Jim. All the boys that like me or have liked me turn out to be losers, or they are boys I don't like all that much. Even now I suspect 2 boys like me but I don't like them in that way yet I find myself almost trying to make myself like them. I keep on forgetting to not do that, to remember that there is a gorgeous sweet wonderful jim out there for me and to stop rationalizing and subconsciously convincing myself to fall for someone who likes me but I don't feel the same exact way.
Then I cried because "The Office" is just a tv show and because of that it is unrealistic so I can never have the Jim-Pam mutual love that makes me swoon and cry.
My mom made me feel better, sometimes when I stop and listen and actually not write off her advice as hogwash I relaize how wise she really is. So many times I feel like she doesn't understand so I never even really consider her advice.
I just keep forgetting that I'm freaking 18, I don't want to get married this young anyways. I don't want a guy this young because I'm not ready and they're all boys.
After I cried my little heart out kind of I watched part of the last episode of Season 2 in bed. The part where Jim tells Pam he's in love with her and then when he kisses her.
Sometimes my mind just wanders. And I have to have a reality check and reel it back in because I don't want that.