Unending
I've been sitting here for a while thinking about what I want to say. Far, far more than my usual alcohol-induced ramblings. I feel a bit... weird, because a couple of those scenes touched me far more deeply than I ever imagined they would.
I very seriously considered not saying anything at all. Just living with it all in my head, but I'd already touched on it in a comment on surrealphantast's LJ. So. I went out to my coffee store and bought some nice Sumatra to bolster me for putting myself 'out there' more than I usually do. Then I spent an insane amount of time trying to find the right music to do this to. I honestly don't know if anyone will care or find it interesting or... whatever. Feel free to skip right on by. I'm going to try to keep as much personal stuff out of it as I can, but our life experiences do color how we see and interpret fiction.
First of all, Daniel's pretty much my touchstone character in SG-1 for whatever reason. Sure, he's pretty to look at, but there's more than that. I think part of it is that the inside of his head has got to be a really interesting and weird place.
That Daniel can be a real bastard comes as no surprise. We've seen shades of it over the years. That he has some serious issues, also no surprise. Most of the time, he hides them pretty well behind an impartial and professional mask. Vala's been poking at that composure since the day they met, trying to get to the man beneath. He gives her only prickly coldness 98% of the time, but she perseveres. She's no shrinking violet.
Vala going for Daniel's belt felt to me like a reminder of Hathor and I thought, "Oh Vala, BAD, bad move." And when he gave her that cold look and said, "Do you really want me to answer that?" (more or less), I practically stopped breathing. I thought, 'Oh shit, here it comes...'.
How many times over the 10 years I spent with my ex-boyfriend had I heard those exact same words?
Granted, the points made were different, but the gist of it was the same. Daniel could have been my Ex, which honestly, wasn't as painful as you might think. I was far more pleased to see some real, honest-to-god, emotion out of Daniel. What's really going on in that brain of his. In a way, he's putting all his insecurites and self-doubt on display, even if he thinks he's doing just the opposite. He revealed so much of himself in his verbal attack on Vala and I love that the writers didn't feel the need to soften it or try to explain it away. Because we don't get that in real life.
I'm not going to get into a deep analysis of what I think it all meant. I think everyone needs to interpret it for themselves. But it just hit me on a very, very personal level and despite how awful it looked and sounded? It left me with a really pleasant, achy feeling.
Why didn't Vala punch him in the face when he finally made that 180 degree turnaround? Because sometimes you just... don't. Sometimes you just take what you're given and are grateful for it. And making love when you're both so emotionally torn down and raw is... amazing. Hey, isn't it why so many of us love angst as part of our fics?
What follows is a bit of my personal... philosophy? wisdom? whatever, and how it fits in with my love for Sam/Daniel.
Life and love is a surprisingly random thing. Sometimes you meet the right person, but at the wrong time. Other times you meet the wrong person, but the time is right. Frankly it can suck a lot. If you're the right person at the wrong time, nothing will ever change that. It's cruel, but true. If you're the wrong person, but the time is right, you win the lottery. Sort of. It might not be perfect, but it'll work to some extent or another.
Sam was the right person, but the timing was wrong. They'll always be close, but moving forward from there is almost impossible. I saw that when Sam came to see Daniel in his holographic library. That sweet, longing UST for what could have been, if only the timing had worked. I believe they had several windows of opportunity, but something always stood between them. People. Events.
Vala was the wrong person, but the time was right. In that timeline, anyway. She became the right person because of the timing. That particular resolution (Daniel's rant, etc.) really only makes sense in the pressure cooker of being stranded on the ship. I'm not saying it can't happen in this timeline, but it wouldn't happen the same way. In this timeline there's a lot more to stand in their way and Daniel can walk away before he blows.
Hey, I'm a multishipper ;) I can work with almost anything. And please note, the terms 'right' and 'wrong' here are purely subjective labels. It's not a value judgment. No one's the bad guy, just circumstances.
I loved the Sam/Teal'c hug. It said so very much, so simply.
Yes, the ep should have been longer, with more interaction between the characters. The aging makeup was icky. It wasn't perfect, but it was good. The ending was perfect, just going on another mission through the gate. And everyone chiming in with 'Indeed' was just... fabulous.
Well, that didn't take quite as long as I thought it would.
And hey, let's be gentle with each other, okay? I think we're all feeling a little unsettled at the ending of our fannish common interest, so let's play nice for the next few days. Not that my flist needs any reminding - you're all lovely. I'm just saying it for the sake of someone who happens to wander by :)
ETA: For the record, I feel like an idiot for making my entire commentary about something that took up probably 5-10 minutes of the whole ep and wasn't dwelled on (which was good, right and proper, IMO). I officially suck. Sorry.
I very seriously considered not saying anything at all. Just living with it all in my head, but I'd already touched on it in a comment on surrealphantast's LJ. So. I went out to my coffee store and bought some nice Sumatra to bolster me for putting myself 'out there' more than I usually do. Then I spent an insane amount of time trying to find the right music to do this to. I honestly don't know if anyone will care or find it interesting or... whatever. Feel free to skip right on by. I'm going to try to keep as much personal stuff out of it as I can, but our life experiences do color how we see and interpret fiction.
First of all, Daniel's pretty much my touchstone character in SG-1 for whatever reason. Sure, he's pretty to look at, but there's more than that. I think part of it is that the inside of his head has got to be a really interesting and weird place.
That Daniel can be a real bastard comes as no surprise. We've seen shades of it over the years. That he has some serious issues, also no surprise. Most of the time, he hides them pretty well behind an impartial and professional mask. Vala's been poking at that composure since the day they met, trying to get to the man beneath. He gives her only prickly coldness 98% of the time, but she perseveres. She's no shrinking violet.
Vala going for Daniel's belt felt to me like a reminder of Hathor and I thought, "Oh Vala, BAD, bad move." And when he gave her that cold look and said, "Do you really want me to answer that?" (more or less), I practically stopped breathing. I thought, 'Oh shit, here it comes...'.
How many times over the 10 years I spent with my ex-boyfriend had I heard those exact same words?
Granted, the points made were different, but the gist of it was the same. Daniel could have been my Ex, which honestly, wasn't as painful as you might think. I was far more pleased to see some real, honest-to-god, emotion out of Daniel. What's really going on in that brain of his. In a way, he's putting all his insecurites and self-doubt on display, even if he thinks he's doing just the opposite. He revealed so much of himself in his verbal attack on Vala and I love that the writers didn't feel the need to soften it or try to explain it away. Because we don't get that in real life.
I'm not going to get into a deep analysis of what I think it all meant. I think everyone needs to interpret it for themselves. But it just hit me on a very, very personal level and despite how awful it looked and sounded? It left me with a really pleasant, achy feeling.
Why didn't Vala punch him in the face when he finally made that 180 degree turnaround? Because sometimes you just... don't. Sometimes you just take what you're given and are grateful for it. And making love when you're both so emotionally torn down and raw is... amazing. Hey, isn't it why so many of us love angst as part of our fics?
What follows is a bit of my personal... philosophy? wisdom? whatever, and how it fits in with my love for Sam/Daniel.
Life and love is a surprisingly random thing. Sometimes you meet the right person, but at the wrong time. Other times you meet the wrong person, but the time is right. Frankly it can suck a lot. If you're the right person at the wrong time, nothing will ever change that. It's cruel, but true. If you're the wrong person, but the time is right, you win the lottery. Sort of. It might not be perfect, but it'll work to some extent or another.
Sam was the right person, but the timing was wrong. They'll always be close, but moving forward from there is almost impossible. I saw that when Sam came to see Daniel in his holographic library. That sweet, longing UST for what could have been, if only the timing had worked. I believe they had several windows of opportunity, but something always stood between them. People. Events.
Vala was the wrong person, but the time was right. In that timeline, anyway. She became the right person because of the timing. That particular resolution (Daniel's rant, etc.) really only makes sense in the pressure cooker of being stranded on the ship. I'm not saying it can't happen in this timeline, but it wouldn't happen the same way. In this timeline there's a lot more to stand in their way and Daniel can walk away before he blows.
Hey, I'm a multishipper ;) I can work with almost anything. And please note, the terms 'right' and 'wrong' here are purely subjective labels. It's not a value judgment. No one's the bad guy, just circumstances.
I loved the Sam/Teal'c hug. It said so very much, so simply.
Yes, the ep should have been longer, with more interaction between the characters. The aging makeup was icky. It wasn't perfect, but it was good. The ending was perfect, just going on another mission through the gate. And everyone chiming in with 'Indeed' was just... fabulous.
Well, that didn't take quite as long as I thought it would.
And hey, let's be gentle with each other, okay? I think we're all feeling a little unsettled at the ending of our fannish common interest, so let's play nice for the next few days. Not that my flist needs any reminding - you're all lovely. I'm just saying it for the sake of someone who happens to wander by :)
ETA: For the record, I feel like an idiot for making my entire commentary about something that took up probably 5-10 minutes of the whole ep and wasn't dwelled on (which was good, right and proper, IMO). I officially suck. Sorry.