Optimism?
I thought I had it. Or, at least finally re-understood it instead of believing it didn't really have any purpose for the world. One of my heroes is in the hospital right now. She's constantly in pain and she's got 10 years of this to go through before it finally kills her.
And I'm just trying not to break in half. She's still holding on to hope and her endless fire, why should I extinguish mine? But I certainly feel like a bunch of coals lumped together.
And more than that, I feel like I want to do something every minute of every day. this is how I cope. I move until I'm exhausted and I flatly refuse to sit still. Maybe if I keep myself busy I can numb the pain.
But it seems like there's more to it this time. Like, I want to accomplish everything that she can't right now. I want to hop on that plane to Peru with Kate on Saturday and not only work that orphanage, but find every single kid there a loving, happy, safe environment to grow up in. Even if it kills me. Hero always said that she was gonna save the world. Not change it. Not better it. Not live in it. SAVE it.
And now I want to. But mostly because I feel it just isn't fucking fair that world is missing out on the best superhero it's ever seen. I want to do her work because right now she can't.
But where do I start?
And I'm just trying not to break in half. She's still holding on to hope and her endless fire, why should I extinguish mine? But I certainly feel like a bunch of coals lumped together.
And more than that, I feel like I want to do something every minute of every day. this is how I cope. I move until I'm exhausted and I flatly refuse to sit still. Maybe if I keep myself busy I can numb the pain.
But it seems like there's more to it this time. Like, I want to accomplish everything that she can't right now. I want to hop on that plane to Peru with Kate on Saturday and not only work that orphanage, but find every single kid there a loving, happy, safe environment to grow up in. Even if it kills me. Hero always said that she was gonna save the world. Not change it. Not better it. Not live in it. SAVE it.
And now I want to. But mostly because I feel it just isn't fucking fair that world is missing out on the best superhero it's ever seen. I want to do her work because right now she can't.
But where do I start?