Why?

[shuichi_eiri]

While everyone is at Metrocon...I'm sitting here trying to imagine how much fun there having. Why am I always excluded from everything? Sometimes I feel like they dont want to be around me...or even look at me. I would say everything I felt but I'm not important enough for them to listen

Comments

[shuichi_eiri]

It's not the fact that I thought Metrocon would be frickin Amazing...it was that I would be with Ivan and we be talking and sharing something we like. Unlike the usual conversations we have that last 30 seconds before hes telling me to get out. I know your just stating your opinion and I respect that but for once I just want to be with him. I mean sure you say he's still going to be here for 1 year driving back and forth but... he has to work and go to college. He wont have time for me. He told me himself...he wont have time for anything but work and college. So I dont want anyone to say oh but he still loves you. He would just rather be with his friends then spend at least 5 min. with his little sister. I don't want to be fed that Bull. I know I was kinda uncomfortable but I realized that you guys were just being yourselves and I had to get used to it because I love you guys and thats just who you guys are. I'm not so sure about the friend part. I'm always been the loner no one likes. The different one.....the one who won't let anyone knows what shes feeling. Let's just face it....I'm a complete loser.

[loupegarou86]

Well Lissette... have you ever told your brother how you feel? And if so what did he say. I mean Ivan has changed, but he's not such a cold-hearted bitch to not understand.

Also Lissette it would be better for you to try to make new friends... if you try to hold on to "the group" and no one else... your just going to make yourself even more depressed when everyone leaves. I mean Christina's leaving in August... so am I and Evan. That leaves Annie and Brian... who will be bombarded by school work... and I know Annie needs a job to pay for the car, so that leaves your brother... and you know whats going on there...

Make yourself feel bettter, call up some of your school buds from RR or even your church. Come up with something you all could do... bowling... beach... movies... pool party if one of them has a pool.

The more you stay at home moping the worse you'll get... trust me... I've been there. You'll find yourself crying over the silliest of things, you'll become irratable and will lash out at your parents...friends... sibs etc.

And Lissette I told you that Ivan would be busy... he's going to burn himself out... we've had this discussion. The best thing you can do right now is corner your brother at talk to him about how you feel. And if he does act like a lil bitch about it, let one of us know... we'll knock some sense into him, ok.

We all love you Lissette, it's just time changes people... and right now we are all trying to hang out with the people we've known so long, who will be leaving us, that we forget about our new friends that we'd be leaving behind too.

You know what I'll try to do, I'll find a day that Annie and Christina can hang out... and I'll dibs on the car... and us four will go do something... you just have to think of what... preferablly something cheap... I think everyone is low on money right now.

Love,
Rachel

[shuichi_eiri]

I appreciate you giving me advice but no one knows what I'm thinking or feeling at this moment in time. I'm not trying to be mean but I don't try to hang with "the group".... I just like to see you guys. If you dont want me hanging with you guys then why didnt you just say so? I could just stop talking to you guys if that would make you feel better. I do call my friends and we hang out and stuff but my mom wont let go out every night like you guys do. I specifically said I'm sorry I havnt been the happiest person latly and you dont have to comment. I dont want you guys talk to him just so he would talk to me. If that happens then what am I going to do when you guys are gone? Exactly. The last thing I need right now is you guys hanging out with me because you feel sorry for me. I dont need that not form you or anyone. I pray to God everyday so I could leave this place and never come back. So I can forget all about this place and not worry about anything. I know your just trying to help me but ....if no one listened to what I have to say or felt sorry for me....I dont need it now. I mean sure....I used to cut myself. Yeah but just because of that you guys are acting nicer to me...and actually speaking to me. I dont want anyone to do stuff with me just because they feel sorry. I'm sorry if I'm sounding like a bitch. I just have a lot going through my head right now. And you more then anyone told me to say what I feel.