(no subject)
so today has been weird.
todays the day, 2 years ago, that i found out both my grandma, and my brother had died. yet, today is also the day, 2 years ago, i truly fell in love with bilal. and that makes me miss him.
he sent me a text message, and a voice mail, to tell me happy vday today. but, no worries, there will be no relationship. he even has said to me that we shouldnt even see eachother, cuz we'll just fall right back into our old ways. and i agree with him.
and for some fucked up reason i ended up talking to that mike guy again. long story. basically he's a psycho stalker, and some how i end up breaking things off, then i get attached, and then i get hurt. yet i'm the one who wanted to be the one who was in charge, and not get too involved, yet it always happens..
i'm just so tired of guys only seeing me as a girl to sleep with. and honestly, i dont know how to change that. i think, i feel its the only way guys will wanna be with me.
i should start writing in this when i'm happy, and not just sad.
my sister is in rehab. for drug and alcohol addiction. i'm glad she's getting help though.
anyways, happy valentines day. love you.
todays the day, 2 years ago, that i found out both my grandma, and my brother had died. yet, today is also the day, 2 years ago, i truly fell in love with bilal. and that makes me miss him.
he sent me a text message, and a voice mail, to tell me happy vday today. but, no worries, there will be no relationship. he even has said to me that we shouldnt even see eachother, cuz we'll just fall right back into our old ways. and i agree with him.
and for some fucked up reason i ended up talking to that mike guy again. long story. basically he's a psycho stalker, and some how i end up breaking things off, then i get attached, and then i get hurt. yet i'm the one who wanted to be the one who was in charge, and not get too involved, yet it always happens..
i'm just so tired of guys only seeing me as a girl to sleep with. and honestly, i dont know how to change that. i think, i feel its the only way guys will wanna be with me.
i should start writing in this when i'm happy, and not just sad.
my sister is in rehab. for drug and alcohol addiction. i'm glad she's getting help though.
anyways, happy valentines day. love you.