a cut on my thumb doesnt feel just like it used to feel
i sliced my thumb on a can of hot fudge the other day and i realized that i havent been physically hurt in such a long time...i didnt really even know how to deal with it. it is a good thing i havent been hurt physically because i probably wouldnt have been able to deal with it...when did i become so fragile? i remember when i used to purposely hurt myself to in order to remind myself how strong i was...now it is just the opposite. i am in love with a boy. a boy who i have been in love with for a long long time. and it burns in me more than ever. change is about to happen once again...but for the last time. my mind has turned a trick on me...i have realized (the other night) that since people expect me to be a floozie...i accept it. No wait, i do more than accept it, i have it in my head that it is almost my job to fufill the obligation...like it is a fucking honor or something.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You're walking home and your heart has been drained,
But you're eyes have been newly trained
And the roof is invisible now.
It's incredible how you were ever blind.
Now you will always find:
Rooms are connected,
Eyes are perfected,
Hey, now, now,
Hey, now, now,
You can see.
Something you shouldn't be.
Something suddenly free.
What will happen now if:
The eyes are too strong?
The horizon's too long?
I can see, I can see.
But Mama says it's wrong.
In the night I'll lose it.
It's not right but I'll use it.
I can see, I can see.
As my lungs fill with air
And the world is laid bare,
What will happen to me?
The warning says, "you can see."
You will forever riddle.
-deerhoof "you can see"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You're walking home and your heart has been drained,
But you're eyes have been newly trained
And the roof is invisible now.
It's incredible how you were ever blind.
Now you will always find:
Rooms are connected,
Eyes are perfected,
Hey, now, now,
Hey, now, now,
You can see.
Something you shouldn't be.
Something suddenly free.
What will happen now if:
The eyes are too strong?
The horizon's too long?
I can see, I can see.
But Mama says it's wrong.
In the night I'll lose it.
It's not right but I'll use it.
I can see, I can see.
As my lungs fill with air
And the world is laid bare,
What will happen to me?
The warning says, "you can see."
You will forever riddle.
-deerhoof "you can see"