Entry #2 20140503
Its been about a week or two since i last posted in this journal of mine. Like i said before i will post more to keep records for purposes of which not need be said. Had a horrible dream last night, my father was in it as well as the rest of my family and a couple other people. the other people were people who were very close to me at one point. this dream had me thinking about a lot of real life scenarios for the upcoming future. I have decided not to pursue to reconcile with her (lets just call her LC). LC has been a huge part of my life for many obvious reasons and other reasons that are only know to myself and some to her. I thought to myself things could be cleared up if i just tried but I have decided against this notion. The reasoning for this is very simple. I realize now that no matte how much I love LC it is only a one sided type. and even though to this day i would do anything for her, i just cant keep doing this. I mean crap it crushed me they day i read her note and it took me this long to get over it why even try for that again. I do wish her the best and hope everything she tries to obtain she does. On to other news, I have decided that I am going to focus on music and school for quite some time. I really love the human mind and getting deeper into these classes have me questioning theories and coming up with my own. Music while that's just my passion. So it seems that everything is starting to run full circle and i can finally pick myself up and do me. My mind is running on full steam, and i am just thankful to be able to have chance to do something. I recently got out of a relationship that has also taught me a lot of life lessons. Everything to me will now be grounds for learning something. I have to look at the positive of negatives situations such as the negative situation with LC. The positive out of this is that i Realize is that in part we are all human and make mistakes. Some of those mistakes can be pretty big. but regret none of them, pick your self up, find the missing pieces , even if that certtain someone has the biggest missing piece carry on. find a way to exist. because in the end is that what we really want? To exist? to live a life that meant something, not to everyone else, but to us? well i will post again soon with other news. until the next entry.....