(no subject)
I swear to god, Shrimpfans, Shrimpjaw is still alive here in the belly of the beast.
We realize we've been out of the game for a while now, but we've been in Namibia for months now. We came here to get the scoop on the Pitt/Jolie birth of Christ Mach II, but since then we've been stuck in this fucking pit of a country. Progressive, my ass. We've been forced to learn Oshiwambo...OSHIWAMBO for fuck's sake. It's not like it was hard, well, certainly nowhere near as hard as having to look at a snapshot of the average Shrimpjaw reader's obese, mealworm-like body, but it certainly took time away from pleasuring the locals.
They don't even have any computers here, hence the lack of communication. We've been forced to sit outside of tiger dens, waiting for the striped beasts to make a bowel movement. When they do, we silently creep to it, marvel at its resemblence to a certain lady with a name similar to Blannah Bormecki, and then proceed to dig through the tyger-feces and find laptop parts that have been consumed by the maneater while he has ferociously swallowed men whole. After months of repeating this process (and classily making nocturnal love to millions of southwest African tigers) we have acquired the parts needed to build our own laptop (complete with internet access) from scratch.
Now all we need is to find a stray elephant and ride that sucker to a civilized country.
By the way, are we saying regular updates will resume soon? Oh, God, no, you simpleton.
We realize we've been out of the game for a while now, but we've been in Namibia for months now. We came here to get the scoop on the Pitt/Jolie birth of Christ Mach II, but since then we've been stuck in this fucking pit of a country. Progressive, my ass. We've been forced to learn Oshiwambo...OSHIWAMBO for fuck's sake. It's not like it was hard, well, certainly nowhere near as hard as having to look at a snapshot of the average Shrimpjaw reader's obese, mealworm-like body, but it certainly took time away from pleasuring the locals.
They don't even have any computers here, hence the lack of communication. We've been forced to sit outside of tiger dens, waiting for the striped beasts to make a bowel movement. When they do, we silently creep to it, marvel at its resemblence to a certain lady with a name similar to Blannah Bormecki, and then proceed to dig through the tyger-feces and find laptop parts that have been consumed by the maneater while he has ferociously swallowed men whole. After months of repeating this process (and classily making nocturnal love to millions of southwest African tigers) we have acquired the parts needed to build our own laptop (complete with internet access) from scratch.
Now all we need is to find a stray elephant and ride that sucker to a civilized country.
By the way, are we saying regular updates will resume soon? Oh, God, no, you simpleton.