For the past few days, I am listening to stories of some very interesting women. Maybe it is happenstance or a coincidence, but whatever it maybe, it is causing me to pause and think about what it is like to be a woman and how far women have come today.
She tells me her story on a warm summer day. We are sitting at a ice-cream parlour and our conversation is revolving around my work and what exactly it is that I am doing when out of the blue, she starts talking about her life and how it changed all those years back. She tells me about the time some 15-20 years back, when she had appeared for the Public Services exam and had aced it but like all 'good' Indian girls in those days , marriage was looming on the horizon.A boy had said 'yes' to her in the arranged marriage scenario and he was not willing to let her go ahead and work.It was a difficult choice for her and she spent a sleepless night mulling over the decision that she had to make.As she is narrating her story to me, I can see the anguish on her face;the anguish that she must have felt that long ago.There were some other restrictions as well like not being allowed to wear a salwar-kameez but a saree.I am not sure about the reasons behind the choice that she eventually made and I am afraid to probe, but today, she is married, a mother, a homemaker, and I am not sure that she is happy. Maybe,she is contented, but not exactly happy.
There is another woman- a woman who enters my life by chance. She is a small-town woman, married and a mother, who is running a beauty salon in her town tucked away in a corner of Maharashtra. On the face of it, there is nothing extraordinary about her. She has come to Mumbai to learn a beauty course, something about brushing up her skills and keeping herself updated.As we get acquainted, she tells me about her dreams for her business. Her dreams are big, but not exactly unacheivable.As she talks, I admire her spunk and confidence, the way she is not at all intimidated by Mumbai.The way she starts travelling in local trains right from day 1, the way she tries to be as independent as she can, going about Mumbai on her own, trying to understand the routes and the ways of this big,bustling city. In that moment, she teaches me, a city girl compared to her background, a thing or two about life, the courage to dream big and to face any situation head on. In a way, she inspires me.
These are two different women leading very different lives.In these moments, when I listen to these women talk, I suddenly remember my grandmother and how much she believed in a woman's education mainly because she never got the chance to study further than the seventh grade. I remember the unmistakable note of pride in her voice when she would talk about her daughter - my Mom, who not only completed her graduation but her post-graduation,too. Then, there is my sister and I, her grandaughters,leading the lives that we lead now, so far removed from my grandmother's world.During times like these,I feel that I am incredibly lucky leading a life that I want to lead,which is not determined by the choices that a man has made for me.I am not a member of the women's liberation brigade, but yes, I do believe that a woman should be allowed to make her choice instead of being forced to make a choice and more importantly, men should not determine what choices or the kind of choices we make. There are times, when I want to thank all those women (some nameless and faceless) before me, and in some ways, the men, too, who strived to give me the kind of life that I am leading today- a life with so much freedom and choice. Yes, it has been a long journey...such a long journey.