(no subject)
sometimes i wonder if this is the you i'm going to be stuck with for forever. i'm not a big fan of this you. those 3 weeks that i had you sober, were the best weeks we've had in awhile. though things were happening for you, i loved that you dealt with it and dealt with it sober. don't get me wrong, i love you now and for forever. but, this side of you, is one that i don't like. i just sometimes wish the you that i had 3 years ago was still there. i wish that i still had the man who was so against drinking and smoking, especially the smoking.
i truly miss that guy, which is sad to say. i guess college does change us but i didn't think it would change you so greatly. no matter what i say or do though, no matter how many times i cry in front of you or beg you not to smoke, it doesn't matter to you. i just don't know what to do anymore. this is one thing i have absolutely no control over and it's hard to think about. i am a person that likes to have control and yet this, i can't do anything over.
i hope that one day i'll see that benjamin paul gagne that i fell in love with 3 years ago.. but i don't think i'll ever see him again.
i truly miss that guy, which is sad to say. i guess college does change us but i didn't think it would change you so greatly. no matter what i say or do though, no matter how many times i cry in front of you or beg you not to smoke, it doesn't matter to you. i just don't know what to do anymore. this is one thing i have absolutely no control over and it's hard to think about. i am a person that likes to have control and yet this, i can't do anything over.
i hope that one day i'll see that benjamin paul gagne that i fell in love with 3 years ago.. but i don't think i'll ever see him again.