Red v. Blue ~ Round 5
Sydney's aliases - Season 5
Taipei.
Sydney Bristow, a.k.a. Blue-Haired Syd, a.k.a. Blue, swaggered into the club, with her possessive non-boyfriend Spike!Vaughn. Some punk tried to feel her up-er, dance with her, but her handler valiantly pushed him away.
"Hey, watch it! This is a three thousand dollar suit!" complained the push-ee.
"Sark?!" gasped Blue, "What... I mean... you...."
"Nice black wig," observed Vaughn, "but too bad you don't have this sweet full-length leather coat."
"No, I don't. The costuming department must really love you. But I do have something you may be interested in, if you'll come with me to the back."
Instead of clocking him in the head with a pistol and bringing him in to live out the rest of his days in a maximum security prison with a cellmate named "Death Fairy," Blue and Vaughn followed Sark into the back room. Blue was surprised to see a gigantic Muller device, a.k.a The Circumference, a.k.a. Clifford the Big Red Ball. Vaughn shrank away in fear.
"Is that what you wanted to show us, Sark?" asked Blue, "because I would have eventually found my way back here and broken in. You really need not waste your time like this."
"No, Sydney-"
"Blue," she corrected.
Sark rolled his eyes. "Okay, Blue, what I wanted to show you was this!" He pointed to the far corner of the room where [gasp] Sydney Bristow, a.k.a Red Haired Syd, a.k.a. Red, was tied to a chair. An uncharacteristically eeeevil grin spread across Blue's face. She sauntered up to the unconscious Red and slapped her across the face. Red came to with a start and looked up at Blue, confused.
"What was that for? And what am I doing here? Oh, and why is there a big red spinny ball thingy in here... wait, that's the same thing from the kitchen at Joey's!"
"What, Red, you don't remember what happened the last time we met?" asked Blue, fingering a small scar on her throat.
"Don't we go through this EVERY time?" moaned Red, "And no, for the record, I don't remember. Would you care to enlighten me?"
"Certainly." Blue paced around Red's chair. "When we left our hero, she had a knife pressed up against my throat and your daring father, Mr. Jack Bristow, was walking in. Alas, you got up to see him, dropped the knife on the floor and, in my clumsiness, I fell on the knife."
"Ah, so I didn't really kill you- but... you're still here!"
"I know. I don't die that easily. However, my red-haired friend, I can't tell you how I survived because some secrets are best left untold."
"You just don't know, do you!" Red shot back, "What are you, a writer?"
"Stop it both of you!" commanded Vaughn, who had been enjoying the tête-a-tête a little too much. "Let's resolve this quickly, because Shotgun needs to go to bed. Plus, I left my bag of peanuts at home and I'm having separation anxiety."
"Fine. Any last words, Red?"
Red looked up from under her wig (and it looked really REALLY cool). "Yes, Blue. Yes I do. I just wanted you to know... that all I wanted was a DAMN SLICE OF PIZZA. Seriously. What does a girl have to do to get a slice of pepperoni around here?"
"I hope that was a rhetorical question, because I'm not going to answer it." Sark walked up and whispered something in Blue's ear. "I see. Well, Red, it's your lucky day because I'm not going to kill you right now. It seems "The Man" has built this large red spinny ball thingy based on some Rambaldi manuscripts, but has no idea what it's supposed to do. So, before I slit your throat, you're going to tell me what it does."
Red sighed. This would be a very difficult question to answer. "Well, if you're talking early Season 1, it's a little spinny thing that sits on a desk and spits water if you disconnect it from its power source. Sort of like those little desktop fountains. Late Season 1 and Season 2, the water inside of it makes peoples fingernails bleed. Especially those of pretty Franco-American boyfriends." Vaughn looked at his fingers suspiciously. "By Season 4, it broadcasts some sort of signal that pisses of bees. And Russians. Actually, it doesn't just piss them off, it turns them into bloodthirsty zombies, my sister included."
"I have a sister?!" asked Blue.
"She has a sister?!" asked Sark. Vaughn turned around and shot him in the leg.
"You little fucker, you shot me!"
"Shut up, Sark. You'll be back," bemoaned Vaughn and he cold-cocked him *ahem* with his pistol.
"Are you going to let me finish telling my story or what?" demanded Red, who had taken advantage of the momentary distraction to loosen her restraints. "Get on with it," commanded Blue. "Fine. We see the red spinny thingy again at the end of Season 5, but this time, it's down in a tomb in Mongolia, where Rambaldi was buried-"
"I thought Rambaldi was Italian. How did he end up in Mongolia?"
"How did I end up in Bhutan? Or was it Nepal? I can't remember. But it doesn't matter! Stop asking logical questions and let her finish her story!" said Vaughn.
"Thanks. Anyways. Tomb. Mongolia. Rambaldi. So if you put the Spherizon on a special pedestal, you get ANOTHER red spinny thingy, although this one fills the Spherizon up with Rambaldi blood so you can live forever. So there, you got your answer. The only problem is, Sark is passed out on the floor, so he didn't hear the end of it. Guess you'll have to find "The Man" yourself and tell him what I said."
"Well, that would be the polite thing to do..." thought Blue as she turned away in thought. Realizing it was her only chance, Red sprang out of the aluminum chair and put Blue in a choke hold from behind.
"You can't kill me," struggled Blue, "There's five more rounds of character aliases left. Besides, if you kill me, you'll never know the truth. Because we all know, truth takes-"
BAM! From the shadows across the room flashed the muzzle of a gun and a small stream of blood oozed down Blue's shoulder. As Blue collapsed to the floor, from out of the shadows walked a woman in a suit. Vaughn looked at her in surprise.
"Mom?"
Vaughn bolted awake, a cold sweat covering his body. Beside him, Sydney rolled over and looked at him in a sleepy haze.
"Vaughn? What's going on?"
"I just had the weirdest dream. And I suddenly have a strange urge to call my mom."
"It's 3am. You can call her in the morning, assuming she exists at all," mumbled Sydney.
"Whatever. I'm going into the kitchen to get some peanuts to calm my nerves." Vaughn got out of bed (shirtless, of course, as he ALWAYS is in Shotgun's world) and went into the kitchen. Closing the refrigerator door, he popped his bag of peanuts down on the counter and was startled to see a pistol lying on the corner still slightly warm.
As Vaughn looked confusedly back towards the bedroom, a dark figure climbed out the living room window and landed silently in the bushes down below. A familiar Swedo-Russian giggle chortled beside him. The figure put his arm around his companion. "A smoking gun. Isn't that weird?" and the two scurried off into the shadows.
03. Blue Haired Sydney - death by Red! and Vaughn's mom.
Taipei.
Sydney Bristow, a.k.a. Blue-Haired Syd, a.k.a. Blue, swaggered into the club, with her possessive non-boyfriend Spike!Vaughn. Some punk tried to feel her up-er, dance with her, but her handler valiantly pushed him away.
"Hey, watch it! This is a three thousand dollar suit!" complained the push-ee.
"Sark?!" gasped Blue, "What... I mean... you...."
"Nice black wig," observed Vaughn, "but too bad you don't have this sweet full-length leather coat."
"No, I don't. The costuming department must really love you. But I do have something you may be interested in, if you'll come with me to the back."
Instead of clocking him in the head with a pistol and bringing him in to live out the rest of his days in a maximum security prison with a cellmate named "Death Fairy," Blue and Vaughn followed Sark into the back room. Blue was surprised to see a gigantic Muller device, a.k.a The Circumference, a.k.a. Clifford the Big Red Ball. Vaughn shrank away in fear.
"Is that what you wanted to show us, Sark?" asked Blue, "because I would have eventually found my way back here and broken in. You really need not waste your time like this."
"No, Sydney-"
"Blue," she corrected.
Sark rolled his eyes. "Okay, Blue, what I wanted to show you was this!" He pointed to the far corner of the room where [gasp] Sydney Bristow, a.k.a Red Haired Syd, a.k.a. Red, was tied to a chair. An uncharacteristically eeeevil grin spread across Blue's face. She sauntered up to the unconscious Red and slapped her across the face. Red came to with a start and looked up at Blue, confused.
"What was that for? And what am I doing here? Oh, and why is there a big red spinny ball thingy in here... wait, that's the same thing from the kitchen at Joey's!"
"What, Red, you don't remember what happened the last time we met?" asked Blue, fingering a small scar on her throat.
"Don't we go through this EVERY time?" moaned Red, "And no, for the record, I don't remember. Would you care to enlighten me?"
"Certainly." Blue paced around Red's chair. "When we left our hero, she had a knife pressed up against my throat and your daring father, Mr. Jack Bristow, was walking in. Alas, you got up to see him, dropped the knife on the floor and, in my clumsiness, I fell on the knife."
"Ah, so I didn't really kill you- but... you're still here!"
"I know. I don't die that easily. However, my red-haired friend, I can't tell you how I survived because some secrets are best left untold."
"You just don't know, do you!" Red shot back, "What are you, a writer?"
"Stop it both of you!" commanded Vaughn, who had been enjoying the tête-a-tête a little too much. "Let's resolve this quickly, because Shotgun needs to go to bed. Plus, I left my bag of peanuts at home and I'm having separation anxiety."
"Fine. Any last words, Red?"
Red looked up from under her wig (and it looked really REALLY cool). "Yes, Blue. Yes I do. I just wanted you to know... that all I wanted was a DAMN SLICE OF PIZZA. Seriously. What does a girl have to do to get a slice of pepperoni around here?"
"I hope that was a rhetorical question, because I'm not going to answer it." Sark walked up and whispered something in Blue's ear. "I see. Well, Red, it's your lucky day because I'm not going to kill you right now. It seems "The Man" has built this large red spinny ball thingy based on some Rambaldi manuscripts, but has no idea what it's supposed to do. So, before I slit your throat, you're going to tell me what it does."
Red sighed. This would be a very difficult question to answer. "Well, if you're talking early Season 1, it's a little spinny thing that sits on a desk and spits water if you disconnect it from its power source. Sort of like those little desktop fountains. Late Season 1 and Season 2, the water inside of it makes peoples fingernails bleed. Especially those of pretty Franco-American boyfriends." Vaughn looked at his fingers suspiciously. "By Season 4, it broadcasts some sort of signal that pisses of bees. And Russians. Actually, it doesn't just piss them off, it turns them into bloodthirsty zombies, my sister included."
"I have a sister?!" asked Blue.
"She has a sister?!" asked Sark. Vaughn turned around and shot him in the leg.
"You little fucker, you shot me!"
"Shut up, Sark. You'll be back," bemoaned Vaughn and he cold-cocked him *ahem* with his pistol.
"Are you going to let me finish telling my story or what?" demanded Red, who had taken advantage of the momentary distraction to loosen her restraints. "Get on with it," commanded Blue. "Fine. We see the red spinny thingy again at the end of Season 5, but this time, it's down in a tomb in Mongolia, where Rambaldi was buried-"
"I thought Rambaldi was Italian. How did he end up in Mongolia?"
"How did I end up in Bhutan? Or was it Nepal? I can't remember. But it doesn't matter! Stop asking logical questions and let her finish her story!" said Vaughn.
"Thanks. Anyways. Tomb. Mongolia. Rambaldi. So if you put the Spherizon on a special pedestal, you get ANOTHER red spinny thingy, although this one fills the Spherizon up with Rambaldi blood so you can live forever. So there, you got your answer. The only problem is, Sark is passed out on the floor, so he didn't hear the end of it. Guess you'll have to find "The Man" yourself and tell him what I said."
"Well, that would be the polite thing to do..." thought Blue as she turned away in thought. Realizing it was her only chance, Red sprang out of the aluminum chair and put Blue in a choke hold from behind.
"You can't kill me," struggled Blue, "There's five more rounds of character aliases left. Besides, if you kill me, you'll never know the truth. Because we all know, truth takes-"
BAM! From the shadows across the room flashed the muzzle of a gun and a small stream of blood oozed down Blue's shoulder. As Blue collapsed to the floor, from out of the shadows walked a woman in a suit. Vaughn looked at her in surprise.
"Mom?"
Vaughn bolted awake, a cold sweat covering his body. Beside him, Sydney rolled over and looked at him in a sleepy haze.
"Vaughn? What's going on?"
"I just had the weirdest dream. And I suddenly have a strange urge to call my mom."
"It's 3am. You can call her in the morning, assuming she exists at all," mumbled Sydney.
"Whatever. I'm going into the kitchen to get some peanuts to calm my nerves." Vaughn got out of bed (shirtless, of course, as he ALWAYS is in Shotgun's world) and went into the kitchen. Closing the refrigerator door, he popped his bag of peanuts down on the counter and was startled to see a pistol lying on the corner still slightly warm.
As Vaughn looked confusedly back towards the bedroom, a dark figure climbed out the living room window and landed silently in the bushes down below. A familiar Swedo-Russian giggle chortled beside him. The figure put his arm around his companion. "A smoking gun. Isn't that weird?" and the two scurried off into the shadows.
03. Blue Haired Sydney - death by Red! and Vaughn's mom.