Suzanna is my hero.
Suzanna and I spent like the whole day together today it was sooo fun!
She took me to Andronico's and Starbucks and to her favorite look out spot.
Later in the night, we were supposed to hang out, but I was going to go with Hilary to the mall to get a new Palm stylus because I lost mine and poking it with my mechanical pencil is not that good for it, I'm sure.
Suzanna called me and seemed really disappointed that I wasn't going to be there when she got home. She wanted to hang out. I was really only planning a quick trip to the mall (like 20-30 min) but Suz sounded devistated. I hung up the phone, telling her that I'd see her tomorrow. She said that she was probably just going to go home and go to bed.
As soon as I snapped the phone shut, I notified Hilary of our change of plans, and how we were going to sneak up on Suz and surprise her.
She was in tears. Today really hadn't been her day. I offered her my hand to help her our of the car, but she took the gesture as open arms for a hug, which was what was next in my mind. Honestly, I miss hugs like that. It was everything a hug should be.
With my arms around her, and her chin resting on my shoulder I thought: "This is how people can help each other." It became apparent to me that this is exactly why my ex is so wrong. By being there to comfort her, offering her my support, and showing that I care about her, I am not taking on any extra burdens, no more so at least than if simply cared about her but did nothing to show it. The only thing I missed was a trip to the mall, which can easily be accomplished tomorrow, or if I really felt, could have been accomplished in her company. By being there for Suzanna and for her to show her vulnerable side made me feel better about myself. By her feeling I was someone she could trust in and worthy of her trust, I felt more secure with myself. She believes that I'm worth her trust, and she feels comfortable enough with me to expose her self, so I feel a better sense of self worth. All it took was a hug, and look what I gained from it? She gained someone who believes in her, someone who will always be there to listen, someone who will trust her, and someone who will always be be there to support her when she needs it. All she did was open up a little.
I thought of a new quote, but it may be a little too tacky to put up on facebook: Those who believe they are weak, know not the strength of love.
Hilary and I took Suzanna out to ice cream. Suzanna likes Cold Stone, perhaps a little too much, but it was a good thing, and it made her happy, and we were all happy that she was feeling better. I've decided I'm not going to be attending Summer session II at UCSD so I can come home and spend some time with Family and these two. I wonder what my ex will think when I don't call her over Summer? Oh, who am I kidding? I told myself I was going to ignore her this week, and I called her 3 days after I got here. I missed Seeing Ashley Fetterman. She was here last week. I was here since Thursday. Oh well. I saw Analise. She's cute! Chubby, but cute. Drew used to be chubby before her went to weight watchers and Analise is chubby now despite being fairly active, but I guess Ashley just got lucky gene wise. It's not like it matters all that much though anyways, Analise is still pretty cute. I never saw why weight is such an issue. Sure, it'd be nice to have thinner thighs or a flatter stomach, but as long as you're not starting a gut, or have fat rolls, I think we're okay.
I loved making Suzanna happy tonight. I was like the highlight of my day. I wish people could understand sometimes that making others feel better is such a great way to feel better about yourself. -At least it is for me. I feel so much better if I can make someone elses life better. Why doesn't my ex understand any of that? I feel in some ways, she hasn't matured since her 16th birthday.
Tonight I ran an danced and talked to Suzanna on my cell phone outside her window. I DROPPED IT! which made me sad because it's a week old TODAY. ugh. I danced like an idiot and hopped around and made her smile. and seeing how giddy she got made me really happy. I'm so glad I could do that for her, because God knows, she has done that so much for me this week.
She took me to Andronico's and Starbucks and to her favorite look out spot.
Later in the night, we were supposed to hang out, but I was going to go with Hilary to the mall to get a new Palm stylus because I lost mine and poking it with my mechanical pencil is not that good for it, I'm sure.
Suzanna called me and seemed really disappointed that I wasn't going to be there when she got home. She wanted to hang out. I was really only planning a quick trip to the mall (like 20-30 min) but Suz sounded devistated. I hung up the phone, telling her that I'd see her tomorrow. She said that she was probably just going to go home and go to bed.
As soon as I snapped the phone shut, I notified Hilary of our change of plans, and how we were going to sneak up on Suz and surprise her.
She was in tears. Today really hadn't been her day. I offered her my hand to help her our of the car, but she took the gesture as open arms for a hug, which was what was next in my mind. Honestly, I miss hugs like that. It was everything a hug should be.
With my arms around her, and her chin resting on my shoulder I thought: "This is how people can help each other." It became apparent to me that this is exactly why my ex is so wrong. By being there to comfort her, offering her my support, and showing that I care about her, I am not taking on any extra burdens, no more so at least than if simply cared about her but did nothing to show it. The only thing I missed was a trip to the mall, which can easily be accomplished tomorrow, or if I really felt, could have been accomplished in her company. By being there for Suzanna and for her to show her vulnerable side made me feel better about myself. By her feeling I was someone she could trust in and worthy of her trust, I felt more secure with myself. She believes that I'm worth her trust, and she feels comfortable enough with me to expose her self, so I feel a better sense of self worth. All it took was a hug, and look what I gained from it? She gained someone who believes in her, someone who will always be there to listen, someone who will trust her, and someone who will always be be there to support her when she needs it. All she did was open up a little.
I thought of a new quote, but it may be a little too tacky to put up on facebook: Those who believe they are weak, know not the strength of love.
Hilary and I took Suzanna out to ice cream. Suzanna likes Cold Stone, perhaps a little too much, but it was a good thing, and it made her happy, and we were all happy that she was feeling better. I've decided I'm not going to be attending Summer session II at UCSD so I can come home and spend some time with Family and these two. I wonder what my ex will think when I don't call her over Summer? Oh, who am I kidding? I told myself I was going to ignore her this week, and I called her 3 days after I got here. I missed Seeing Ashley Fetterman. She was here last week. I was here since Thursday. Oh well. I saw Analise. She's cute! Chubby, but cute. Drew used to be chubby before her went to weight watchers and Analise is chubby now despite being fairly active, but I guess Ashley just got lucky gene wise. It's not like it matters all that much though anyways, Analise is still pretty cute. I never saw why weight is such an issue. Sure, it'd be nice to have thinner thighs or a flatter stomach, but as long as you're not starting a gut, or have fat rolls, I think we're okay.
I loved making Suzanna happy tonight. I was like the highlight of my day. I wish people could understand sometimes that making others feel better is such a great way to feel better about yourself. -At least it is for me. I feel so much better if I can make someone elses life better. Why doesn't my ex understand any of that? I feel in some ways, she hasn't matured since her 16th birthday.
Tonight I ran an danced and talked to Suzanna on my cell phone outside her window. I DROPPED IT! which made me sad because it's a week old TODAY. ugh. I danced like an idiot and hopped around and made her smile. and seeing how giddy she got made me really happy. I'm so glad I could do that for her, because God knows, she has done that so much for me this week.