"and so i drink to stay warm, and to kill selected memories."

[shortfuseburnig]

So, I have decided something. As pathetic and bothered as I am, there is no point in writing about the same issues over and over. I mean, is it really getting me any closer to doing what I feel I need to do? If it is even the best thing for me to do. I might be thinking too selfishly. A big part of me just wants to take the easy way out and escape. But I don't plan on being a coward all of my life. I want to make the transition; I want to be a strong and courageous person. I am hoping for the honesty and bravery that I know I need to be who I have always dreamed of being. It hurts when you hope for something, and then feel as if you don't have the means of obtaining it for yourself. But of course I've lost myself in this paragraph, and lost sight of my original point, as per usual. There is no point in dwelling on that which you cannot change... that is, until I feel that I have the strength to change it. I know it's in there somewhere... but how do I get it out??

I sat and wrote for a couple of hours today, but nothing came out as I absolutely meant it to. Therefore, sadly, I won't be posting any poetry tonight. I was really looking forward to being able to, too. (To, too... ugh.)

Tomorrow is Sydney's last night of Spring Break on Long Island. :(
The FreeCreditReport.com musical commercial cracks me up.
I had a really nice St. Patrick's Day drinking beer and watching internet TV with Catherine.
Also, tomorrow is the day I finally get my permit, a.k.a. become a woman. ;P
I am defiantly exitid. (It hurts to spell things incorrectly.)
I think I may be tired.

Goodnight.