2008
Goddamn Facebook. It's an LJ killer. Over a month since last update? LAAAAAME.
Anyways...
Over the course of a year, the earth travels over 580 million miles, yet finds itself in pretty much the same place. Lots of energy, lots of travel, but on a year-long time-line, no progress.
Gotta find that to be a pretty good analogy.
I hate measuring progress based on what I accomplish within one earth's rotation, yet, I do every new year and every birthday. Kind of the reason why I find those depressing.
But as I look around, other than I'm living in a better house, I see no real progress or improvement in my life over the past year. That's all the more depressing when you realize that 2008 had an extra day AND extra second. (How'd you spend your extra second?)
It's not even that I didn't like 2008. It was a very good year for me, and definitely a top 3 summer. I got out a lot more. Much more social, even hosted several events. Went to restaurants and bars with friends more this year than probably all other years here combined. Went to some great shows this year, including the Smashing Pumpkins concert that I felt 13 years of obsessive fandom lead up to. Or how about back in February, that underground bluegrass concert in Breck I went to with Red and Renee, and had the epiphany that I should enjoy shit more?
Went on several really fun and great day-trips with some good friends. Went on several rewarding day-trips by myself.
Golfed more. A lot more. Ski'd more. A lot more. Got to several new courses. Got to a couple new mountains, and got to my favorite mountain, Beaver Creek, a lot more than in previous years.
Got to a lot of community festivals. Ullr Fest. Keystone Mardi Gras parade. Keystone beer fest. Summit County BBQ. Dillon 4th of July celebration. Nan Desu Kan (by far the best of the 3 I've gone to). And I went to several of them with some really special friends.
I moved into a great little cabin with two friends I've known almost the entire time I've been in The CO, and even though it turns out they're both crazy and fight with each other a lot, things always seem to end up ok in the end.
Got a girl to go on a date with me for the first time ever. Although that scheme ultimately failed, a guy with aesthetic and personality deficiencies like me has to settle to enjoy small victories. Applied for a promotion, but got turned down. Applied for new job and got turned down, but can try again next year. There were other instances of trying and failing this year, but I strive on failure. When given the choices of either fail or never know, I'm a fan of failing, and I failed in so many things this year, I have little to no regrets.
And, even though I've lost quite a few friends, as is the way when you live in a resort town, I've made a lot of great new friends, too.
So after all of that, after all the good things, who am I to complain?
I'm really not. It's just bothersome. After all those things, it still seems that everything is exactly the same as the start of 2008. I really haven't advanced at all at the resort. Most days after work still involve me just going home and chilling out alone. I made over $20k in a year for the first time in my life, but any good that would do has been wiped out by a few lame, sudden financial burdens (friggin' stupid car), so I'm still in debt. I sense no self-improvement, no life-improvement.
It's just odd to me that after such a great year, I seem to be no better off in any sense.
All that energy, work, movement... still in the exact same place.
Cheers, to the futility of it all.
-Paul T. Shoink
Eloquently Bitter
Anyways...
Over the course of a year, the earth travels over 580 million miles, yet finds itself in pretty much the same place. Lots of energy, lots of travel, but on a year-long time-line, no progress.
Gotta find that to be a pretty good analogy.
I hate measuring progress based on what I accomplish within one earth's rotation, yet, I do every new year and every birthday. Kind of the reason why I find those depressing.
But as I look around, other than I'm living in a better house, I see no real progress or improvement in my life over the past year. That's all the more depressing when you realize that 2008 had an extra day AND extra second. (How'd you spend your extra second?)
It's not even that I didn't like 2008. It was a very good year for me, and definitely a top 3 summer. I got out a lot more. Much more social, even hosted several events. Went to restaurants and bars with friends more this year than probably all other years here combined. Went to some great shows this year, including the Smashing Pumpkins concert that I felt 13 years of obsessive fandom lead up to. Or how about back in February, that underground bluegrass concert in Breck I went to with Red and Renee, and had the epiphany that I should enjoy shit more?
Went on several really fun and great day-trips with some good friends. Went on several rewarding day-trips by myself.
Golfed more. A lot more. Ski'd more. A lot more. Got to several new courses. Got to a couple new mountains, and got to my favorite mountain, Beaver Creek, a lot more than in previous years.
Got to a lot of community festivals. Ullr Fest. Keystone Mardi Gras parade. Keystone beer fest. Summit County BBQ. Dillon 4th of July celebration. Nan Desu Kan (by far the best of the 3 I've gone to). And I went to several of them with some really special friends.
I moved into a great little cabin with two friends I've known almost the entire time I've been in The CO, and even though it turns out they're both crazy and fight with each other a lot, things always seem to end up ok in the end.
Got a girl to go on a date with me for the first time ever. Although that scheme ultimately failed, a guy with aesthetic and personality deficiencies like me has to settle to enjoy small victories. Applied for a promotion, but got turned down. Applied for new job and got turned down, but can try again next year. There were other instances of trying and failing this year, but I strive on failure. When given the choices of either fail or never know, I'm a fan of failing, and I failed in so many things this year, I have little to no regrets.
And, even though I've lost quite a few friends, as is the way when you live in a resort town, I've made a lot of great new friends, too.
So after all of that, after all the good things, who am I to complain?
I'm really not. It's just bothersome. After all those things, it still seems that everything is exactly the same as the start of 2008. I really haven't advanced at all at the resort. Most days after work still involve me just going home and chilling out alone. I made over $20k in a year for the first time in my life, but any good that would do has been wiped out by a few lame, sudden financial burdens (friggin' stupid car), so I'm still in debt. I sense no self-improvement, no life-improvement.
It's just odd to me that after such a great year, I seem to be no better off in any sense.
All that energy, work, movement... still in the exact same place.
Cheers, to the futility of it all.
-Paul T. Shoink
Eloquently Bitter