Of Stubbornness and Courtships [13b/ 15]
Title: Of Stubbornness and Courtships
Author: shohai_mizuki
Pairing: Junseung (Junhyung/ Hyunseung), Dooseob, Kiwoon, others
Other Groups: Big Bang
Rating: PG-13
Summary: These days, courting seems as easy as counting 1, 2, 3. But not for a certain individual. Because, unfortunately for him, he falls for the secretive and stubborn Jang Hyunseung who has a reputation for being unresponsive to the most romantic of courting. You'd wonder what exactly he has up his sleeve to get this elusive doe-eyed doll.
Author's Notes: There are shifts between past and present tense and they're deliberate. I hope I wrote it out clear enough for you guys to understand what's going on. Comments, criticisms, and suggestions are welcome! :)
Previous Chapters: [0] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]
---
The rest of the day rolls by in a haze. He listens to the lectures but the question 'What does a white chrysanthemum mean?' gnaw at his consciousness. He keeps glancing at the object of his worries whenever he could afford to. He sighs as he writes down the important things to remember and the answers to the test. After the last subject, he decides to ask his girl classmates if any of them knows the answer. Unfortunately, none of them are well-versed with flowers and their meanings. They smile at him encouragingly though, telling him it couldn't be so bad. Unusually, not a single one tried to flirt with him or something akin to it. He guesses they don't think they could win against Junhyung. He might just agree with them. No. He does agree with them. There probably is no other person who could care for him and treat him like Junhyung does.
He thanks them and turns away when one of them calls out to him suggesting the school library. He mentally kicks himself over and over. He's been so busy worrying he forgot he could just go to the library and check for the meaning there. What is Junhyung doing to him? He shakes his head and suddenly realizes something. He looks around the room and sees no Junhyung. He didn't wait for him. Even though he isn't going home immediately, because no one has a choice but to follow Jiyong's orders, he thought Junhyung would still wait for him and tease him and bug him and infuriate him and make him fall harder. He takes it as a bad sign and dejectedly takes his things, walking to the library. The white chrysanthemum given to him hangs out of the bag, the stem inside while the flower shows its beauty to the world. He decides that the others can wait for him. He has more important matters to take care of right now.
He walks inside the library he seldom visits just because he likes buying books and keeping a collection. And because he likes studying at home rather than here where, even if it's each to their own, you just never know when someone will pop out and distract you, especially people confessing to you. Well, it's mostly the latter, about 99%. He searches the online catalog for books to help him with his problem. He writes it down on the paper provided nearby and quickly walks to where the book is. Although people have backed off confessing to him ever since Junhyung came to the picture, it's never bad to take caution. He looks through rows and rows of books, fingers idly running through the spines.
There. He grabs the book and flips through the pages to where he could finally know the meaning of a white chrysanthemum. The feeling of dread floods him again and he stops for a moment before shaking it off. He needs to know no matter what. He's not ready, definitely not, but he will still look. He could cope up with whatever it means later. Right now, the question needs to be answered. He continues and almost misses the page in his haste. His eyes immediately fall unto the picture of the white chrysanthemum, just like the one he has sticking out of his bag. He reads the meaning.
Truth. Loyal love.
Relief washes over him. His heart swells with all the mushy feelings everyone keeps talking about. He couldn't quite explain it. A mixture of happiness, love, reassurance, and so many more, perhaps. A wide smile adorns his face, eyes twinkling in delight. Junhyung isn't giving up. Junhyung is remaining loyal to him. Truth. His smile drops. What could that mean? What truth? He shakes his head. For now, he'll just be happy. If he's to know about the meaning behind 'truth', he'd have to ask Junhyung. And that wouldn't be until tomorrow. Because Junhyung is still mad at him. The last bits of happiness he's gathered vanishes. Junhyung is still mad.
He puts the book back and walks out of the library to the gates. What is he to do now? He knows he couldn't think of anything else for the rest of the day. Nothing requires most of his attention anymore. Hanging out with his friends, going home, resting, they could all be done while he's debating on how to get Junhyung to not be mad at him. He sighs. How many times has he done that today? Thinking about that makes him sigh once more. He almost walks past Jiyong and Seunghyun with all the thoughts clamoring inside his head.
"Hey there depressed little cat." Jiyong swings an arm around his shoulders, making him stop walking. He looks blankly back at the other. "Well now. I'm not the one whose fault it is you're like that."
"I know." He hangs his head low. They start walking the 5 minute walk to Jiyong's apartment, Seunghyun following behind them like a bodyguard.
"Really. I don't know what to do with you, Jang Hyunseung." He could see Jiyong's head shaking from the corner of his eye. "I mean, we've already thoroughly investigated Junhyung. And you know when we mean thoroughly, we mean it down to every letter. We gave our permission. Why are you still so distrusting?"
He looks at the person leading him with wide eyes. "I know that. But what are you talking about with this distrusting thing?"
"Let's just say for safety purposes we sort of bugged your room after interrogating Junhyung and saw what happened last weekend."
If his eyes could go any wider, they would have. His mouth hangs open and his body is still being led by this person who just admitted to bugging his room and invading his privacy. Never mind how the heck they got inside his room without him knowing. Who in the world gave them permission to bug his room? Have they gone completely insane? Sure he knows his friends aren't what you'd call normal. They're over the top especially with these kinds of stuff. But he never would have thought they'd do it to him. That is out of bounds. And there is hell to pay. They should know that.
"You bugged my room, eh, Jiyong-hyung?" There's probably an evil aura emanating from him at that moment. But Jiyong had an equally evil aura about him.
"Why yes. Are you going to do something about it, Mr. Blurt-out-everything-in-my-mind?" Oh that was low. He looks away in guilt. He knows he's wrong for saying those things to Junhyung, for being so difficult. What is he to do? How is he supposed to fix this? "Hey. We've got the perfect strategy to help you gain Junhyung's forgiveness."
"What is it?" He keeps his face blank and unreadable. Inside his head though, he doesn't know if he should be ecstatic or reluctant. Jiyong's plans are great and all but they always have a catch.
"Oh you'll see. Now, let's just walk faster, okay?"
And faster they did walk, Jiyong and Seunghyun chatting all the way, not letting him think for one second about his Junhyung problem. They actually made it earlier than the 5 minute mark. The building isn't anything fancy, just one of the usual apartment buildings seen everyday. They go up the stairs to the 3rd floor and inside room number 9. The place is clean and neat as usual. There's nothing out of the ordinary that would inconvenience him. And he hopes it stays that way because he really doesn't like being alone in this room with his friends. There is only so much he could take from their kind of crazy. Where are the others anyway? They're nowhere in sight.
"Off we go!" He's suddenly thrown into Jiyong's bedroom. The latter and Seunghyun following close behind. He lets out an indignant cry. See? They have some problems in the head. Couldn't they have just told him to go in? There is such a thing as talking. He shakes his head and straightens himself.
"And I'm thrown into your bedroom, why?" He loves them. Seriously. But this is just not helping. He still needs to think how to apologize to Junhyung and make it up to said person. He starts to frown and ignore his surroundings once more. Maybe he should give Junhyung a flower too? That's idea number one. But more importantly, it's probably better to have a thought out apology ready. He isn't good with expressing himself though so how is he supposed to do that?
"Tada!" Jiyong suddenly pulls out their school uniform out of nowhere. He stares in horror. There's nothing wrong with their uniform. He actually kind of likes it. The only reason the color of his face has drained is because it's the girl's uniform. He could feel the bad vibes all over. He could hear the warning bells in his mind ringing wildly. He could feel the need to run away, as far away as possible. He does. But against two guys who have every intent of holding him back, with one being much bigger than him, he doesn't get past the door.
"No! No! No!" He struggles. "I know what you're thinking. You are not putting that on me!"
"Yes we are. Besides, I think Junhyung will like it very much." Jiyong grins at him while his clothes seem to disappear from his body to the floor. He doesn't even know how this is possible with all his struggling. These people are pros. His respect for them as torturers rises. But that's beside the point. "He even asked you to do it for him one time."
"How-"
"What Jiyong meant by bugging your room is bugging the entire house except for your parents' room." Seunghyun replies to his unfinished question while putting the blouse on him with the blazer next in line. Jiyong is already working on slipping the skirt on him. Fast and efficient. These people are scary. Did Seunghyun just say they bugged the entire house?
"You what?" He yelled at them. His struggles increase but with the two of them almost finished, there's not much point. "Why would you even bug me in the first place? Shouldn't you be bugging Junhyung's house or something?"
"We had to make sure there's nothing inappropriate going on at your house so we decided to bug it as well." Jiyong states, fixing his hair and putting a headband which popped out of nowhere. Seunghyun does the finishing touches to the uniform. The former grins teasingly at him and lightly smacks his butt. "There. All done."
He hides his red face in his hands and avoids looking at the full-length mirror in this room. Memories of embarrassing childhood flows into his mind. He really must have done something horrible in his past life. And he doesn't even know how this is going to help him apologize to Junhyung. Jiyong said Junhyung will like this very much but the latter isn't even here. What's the point of stripping him, which is embarrassing enough in itself, and putting him in a skirt, triple the embarrassment?
"Not bad." He hears Seunghyun say and he wishes he could dig a hole and hide himself. "Are the others here yet?"
"Oh right." A flip of a phone. "Yeah. They're waiting outside. Hyun, stay here, got it? If you even think of taking that uniform off, we will handcuff you and make you wear an even more embarrassing outfit than that and parade you all over town. And you know well, I have those outfits."
His head snaps up, face filled with horror. Jiyong merely smiles that innocently wicked smile. He knows Jiyong has them. He's already seen them hidden in the closet, probably wears it for Seunghyun. Why is he friends with these guys again? He wallows in self-pity as they exit the room. He doesn't make any movement. They might think he's trying to take it off. No. This is nothing compared to the humiliation of walking down the streets in girl's clothes that are 'even more embarrassing' as Jiyong so kindly stated.
"And try not to mess this chance up, okay? What happened last Saturday was just sad." He looks to the door to see Jiyong's back as the other waves nonchalantly. He knows. He messed up really bad last Saturday. He doesn't need them to tell him. Junhyung's attitude is enough of an indication as it is.
The door closes and he stands there awkwardly waiting for whatever happens to him. Jiyong's words come to mind. Chance? What chance? Junhyung's not here, probably home already. He fidgets, his legs begging him to sit down. He looks around for a chair and unwittingly spots himself in the mirror instead. He doesn't look half-bad actually, he admits to himself. He rakes his fingers through his hair, fixing them a little more, and dusts the uniform. He looks like a flat-chested school girl with an adam's apple and no shoes on. He flinches as he notices that Jiyong got him a skirt a little too short for his liking. He should have already expected that. He shakes his head and walks to the chair in front of the small study table beside the bed.
He sits down, fixing the skirt so it could cover his legs as much as possible, hands firmly placed on his legs. The stiffness of his body doesn't show the inner turmoil starting in his head once more. But before he could lose his attention completely, the object of his problems enters the room. His breath hitches and his body goes numb. He doesn't mind his five friends waving at him and giving him various hand signals which don't mean a thing to him because Junhyung's eyes land on him. The door closes and they're left alone.
He panics. He isn't ready. He isn't supposed to see Junhyung until tomorrow morning. What's he to say? He might blurt out something stupid again. The appreciative look in Junhyung's eyes and the playful smirk make his mind stop working. He looks down at himself and finally remembers he's in their girl's uniform in front of the person he likes. This cannot end well. His face turns bright red and once more, he hides behind his hands. Damn his friends.
"You look wonderful." He doesn't notice the faint blush on Junhyung's cheeks because of his growing and growing need to hide. He hears Junhyung's footsteps coming towards him though and feels Junhyung pry his hands away from his face. Their faces are close to each other once again as Junhyung holds his chin upward. There's something in Junhyung's eyes that makes him stare. "But you will never do this in front of anyone besides me again. I won't allow it."
His lips get what they've been craving, a kiss from Junhyung. It's more bruising than the previous ones, a certain unnameable feeling to it. He opens his eyes when Junhyung breaks them apart. The latter moves away from him to stand upright but Junhyung's eyes never leave him. They bore into his and he stares just as hard. The silence passes by them as they simply look into each other's eyes. His mind is blank. He's no longer panicking.
"I'm sorry." He begins in a soft voice. And it grows to a normal volume. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have said those things to you. I knew it was just a rumor that you were a womanizer. I just said it without thinking."
"Why?"
"I didn't know. I was angry. I really didn't mean it to hurt you this bad."
"I'm not hurt because of that. You won't tell me the truth. That's what hurts." Truth. So that's what Junhyung also meant by giving him the white chrysanthemum.
"What-" He hesitates, averting his eyes, before finding his resolve and looking back to Junhyung's eyes again. He is going to do things right this time. And telling the truth is what's right. "What do you want to know?"
"You seemed affected by the rumor. Why?"
His eyes widen. He sort of expected that, wishing Junhyung wouldn't ask. He's still trying to understand it more himself. He avoids looking at Junhyung and squirms in his seat. He's already resolved to answer whatever Junhyung asks him. He can do this. He just needs some time to gather himself and at least let his blush die down first. Breathe in. Breathe out. It's now or never. Junhyung deserves to know. Junhyung has been kind and understanding all this time. He will repay that. He looks back to Junhyung who is waiting patiently for him to answer. And his heart melts a little. Junhyung is just too good, like a dream.
"I was-I am insecure." His hands start to fidget but he continues, willing himself to remain calm and tell Junhyung. "I didn't know if this is all just a phase to you or something. I wasn't sure if you would stay by me or leave me for a girl. What if you find yourself wanting a girl and not me? That's what came to my mind. I'm jealous. Jealous how they were together with you. Jealous how they're girls and I'm a boy. Jealous how it takes time for you to come to me but not with them. But I understand. I do. I understand it's not that easy. I understand it's awkward. I just can't help it though, feeling this way."
Once done, he lets out a sigh of relief. Getting it out does help, especially if it's to the person involved. Realizing what he's said though, he looks away, red tinting his cheeks. He said it. He still can't face Junhyung though. It's not everyday he lets out what he feels and thinks, especially not something like this. He swears he won't be doing this again anytime soon. To redeem himself even just a bit, he says haughtily, "This doesn't mean I like you or we're together though."
And just for good measure, he crosses his arms and looks up to Junhyung with a challenging gaze. He's met with a laugh and a shake of the head. Junhyung is walking towards him, smirk well in place. That smug look, he would just like to wipe that off the other's face. For the second time that day, his chin is held and tilted upward. "Okay. But I think being jealous is a sign that you like me."
"Says who? It's not really a universal rule that just because a person is jealous means they like the other person."
"Says me."
"Well then dream on because I am far from liking you." Not. But that's just for him to know.
"Whatever you say, Seung." With that Junhyung lets go of his chin but holds his hand and pulls him up, arms embracing him tightly by his waist. He's drawn once again to Junhyung's eyes. "Why would I want a girl when I have you?"
Seriously, with Junhyung, he bets that soon he'll have too much in his head from all the blushing. "Why are you so cheesy? Didn't I already tell you to stop that?"
"It just can't be helped." Junhyung smirks playfully at him with a wink before letting him go and looking around the room. He tries to decipher what Junhyung seems to be looking for when he spots his uniform at the same time Junhyung does. The latter looks at him and they both pick the discarded clothes up, Junhyung giving them to him. "I'd do a lot of things to you right now, but they're spying on us so I'm keeping it clean. If you want me to look away, I will."
With those words, an idea forms in his mind. A sort of payback to his friends for dressing him up this way, bugging his house and spying on him. He drops all his gathered clothes to the floor once more and moves slowly to Junhyung, adding a bit of sway to his hips. A playful smirk, much like the one Junhyung was just wearing awhile ago, makes its way to his lips. He could see Junhyung gulp and look away. That's alright because when he reaches the other, he winds his arms on Junhyung's neck and moves Junhyung's head to face him. He half-closes his eyes and moves in to kiss Junhyung. Their lips touch and the kiss deepens. His hands guide Junhyung's hands to his waist. With hands still over Junhyung's hands, he walks, making Junhyung walk with him, to the bed. Junhyung's knees buck after hitting the edge of the bed and they're both sitting, Junhyung on the bed and him on Junhyung. Then he guides on hand to his leg and without his assistance, Junhyung gently caresses his leg. He lets out a moan that's just a little bit more exaggerated.
That's when Jiyong bursts into the room along with the others. "Stop right there!"
He pulls away from Junhyung and turns his head to look at Jiyong, innocently with a smile. "What's the matter? Why are you all here? I thought you guys already left us to make up."
"You know why we're here." Jiyong's words are sharp and his eyes burn with purpose.
"Damn. You guys were seriously gonna go at it!" He didn't need to see who said that to know it was Seungri. He rolls his eyes.
"Hyun, I think you should go change now." Daesung looks at him meaningfully. He shrugs and gets off Junhyung, picking up his clothes and heading towards the bathroom in the hall. He pauses in front of his friends crowding at the door for awhile before they give way for him. He smiles at them with an evil glint in his eyes just to let them know he had gotten them. He continues on his way after that, reveling at how Jiyong laughs in amusement while saying 'I've taught you well'. He leaves Junhyung staring at him with a shocked and amused expression.
Once in the bathroom, he quickly changes clothes, not wanting to be in skirt for one more second. But after finishing, he hesitates on going back. He had enough anger to do those things awhile ago but now that he's gotten his revenge, which was trick-them-into-believing-he's-going-to-do-something-considered-inappropriate-because-he-knows-they're-that-protective, he's reduced to an embarrassed piece of mush. He doesn't know if he could face Junhyung and look him in the eye. It's obvious why he did it. And if it wasn't, his friends are probably already telling Junhyung it was just some evil plot of his. He should calm down and just act normal. Punch Junhyung. No. He already swore he wouldn't do that anymore.
He shakes his body and walks out of the bathroom. Passing by the living room and entering the bedroom once more, he doesn't look at any of them and keeps walking until he reaches the laundry bin, dumping the clothes there. He spots his bag, lying innocently on the floor, and picks it up. He finally turns to the other occupants of the room who are staring at him. He quirks an eyebrow. He avoids looking at Junhyung though. "Thanks for today. Just so you know, if you put me in girl's clothing again, I will kill you guys. I'm off. See you tomorrow."
He waves at them and turns, walking out of the room. He looks at the laptop again and sees Junhyung moving to follow him while Seungri gets smacked on the head for asking 'So how do you do it with a guy?'. He laughs slightly but quickens his pace, not wanting to face the other just yet. Junhyung comes out of the room, saying "Wait for me."
He doesn't reply, simply walking on and exiting the apartment. But he stops beside the door, leaning on the wall and looking at the floor. When Junhyung comes out, he doesn't need to look up to know that Junhyung smiled before taking his hand and pulling him to walk. His head remains fascinated with the floor as they walk down the stairs, past the small lobby, and into streets. He doesn't take his hand back, liking how Junhyung's hand feels wrapping around his.
"I'm not exactly happy about this" He says though, while tugging on their linked hands to indicate what he means. He feels the need to make sure Junhyung doesn't think he's already fallen for him and that he's not fighting back anymore. He's still determined to make Junhyung work harder for him. It's just that he'll be a little nicer.
Junhyung chuckles and merely grips his hand tighter. "I know. I'm happy too."
"I said I wasn't happy about it. Stop selectively hearing things." He turns his head to glare half-heartedly at Junhyung. He wills his face not to heat up. His earlier embarrassment flying away for the time being.
"I'm not selectively hearing things. I'm just reading between the lines." He rolls his eyes at the smirk accompanying that haughty line. They drop the subject and wait in silence after arriving at the bus stop. And the silence drags on even until they were seated at the bus. Their hands only separating when they paid for the ride and when they settled on their seats. It isn't that he seeks out Junhyung's hand. No. The other simply grabs his hand and doesn't let go. He doesn't complain about it though. He reasons to himself that he could indulge Junhyung after hurting him like that.
He stares out the window with a small smile tugging at his lips. He feels lighter than this morning when they were in a bus as well. The blurred images of the scenery outside take his attention from his surroundings to things far beyond. The comfortable silence only makes it more suitable for him to let his mind wander. He thinks that somehow after being able to admit to himself that he's starting to like Junhyung seriously, he's been letting himself get kissed by Junhyung and letting the other hold his hand. Has he become easy? He chastises himself, kicking the him in his mind. He would start regulating himself. And then the memory of his earlier actions surface. He should really stop doing things without thinking about them twice. Yes he wanted to get back at his friends but letting himself act that way just for that seems so unreasonable now that he has a clear head.
He peeks from the corner of his eyes to the person beside him. As if sensing him, Junhyung turns to look and he immediately straightens, looking out of the window again. He could see Junhyung reflected on the glass again, smiling at him before facing front again, face relaxed. He smiles as well while a thumb lazily draws circles against the back of his hand. He gives up. What's done is done. Besides, Junhyung doesn't seem to mind. And he's not mentioning it either, which he is eternally thankful for.
His eyes then wander to his bag where the white chrysanthemum proudly stands out. He reaches out to it and plays with the many petals. This flower is more special than the roses he had first received from Junhyung. Far more special. And he'll take the utmost care for it so that he could last as long at it can. When the time comes, he would make the petals into the dried ones that people insert in books. Before anything more takes place in his mind, Junhyung tugs at his hand. It's their stop. They go down and walk towards his house.
He notices that the sky is already dark. He doesn't want his parents to worry so he walks faster, dragging Junhyung with him. "Come on. It's getting really late. Our parents will be worried and you'll be walking home alone."
"Sounds like you're worried about me." He already knows the other would say something like that so he doesn't pause in his pace. He shakes his head as Junhyung catches up to his side.
"Yes. Think whatever you want of it. Now shut up and hurry."
They walk so fast one could almost call it running. Almost. When they finally arrive at his porch, they were panting heavily, sweat dripping down their faces despite the cold weather. He looks at Junhyung and stares, thinking how hot the other looks right then. The thought makes him blush and his cheeks get redder when Junhyung turns to look at him with those deep eyes conveying so many things to him that he couldn't understand. He pulls his hand free from the other's hold and shoos him away.
"Go. Now. You might say you could handle yourself but it's best to take precautions."
"I wasn't even going to disagree." Junhyung laughs and leans to kiss his cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow then."
Maybe Junhyung won't notice if he turns into a puddle while he watches said person's back moving further away from him. Truthfully, he was expecting a kiss on the lips. But the kiss on his cheek seems so much sweeter that he couldn't help but feel that his legs might just give up. He shakes himself and enters the house to find his parents already at the dining table. He greets them, surprised they are unaffected by his lateness. When he questions them about it, they laugh and smile in a teasing manner.
"Why would we worry when Junhyung's with you? We trust him." His mother says and he could feel that she means it. He rolls his eyes and puts down his bag beside his chair as he sits down. They eat dinner with light conversation to fill the silence. When asked about his day, he vaguely answers about how it was boring and such. They raise their eyebrows at him but he waves them off and the chatter continues until they finish dinner.
He excuses himself to his room where he collapses on the bed after a tiring day. Lying there for a few minutes just staring at his ceiling, he decides to fix himself up for bed. He heads to the bathroom to wash himself of sweat and dirt, brushing his teeth afterward and putting his night clothes on. He sluggishly walks to his bed when he's done, feeling even more sleepy and tired after the relaxing bath. Collapsing once more, he drifts to sleep. And he's almost dead to the world when his phone buzzes. He curses and knows it's Junhyung. He debates on whether to reach into his bag, grab his phone and read the message or just ignore it. He sighs and does the former. His sleepy mind doesn't take in the words of the text as they appear slightly blurred to his heavy eyes. When he wakes up in the morning, he would be red all over and cursing Junhyung to the next universe. For now, he falls soundly asleep, dreaming of warm hands and lips.
From: My Stalker
I've discovered a new side of Jang Hyunseung today.
And I like it.
If you're like that in bed...
I can't wait until I make you mine.
---
Author's Notes: This is the longest chapter so far. And the one I like most just because it has cross-dressing in it. Haha! I couldn't help myself. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was sort of a pain to write. Until now, I keep feeling that there's something missing or there's something wrong. I don't know what though. It's probably the Big Bang members. By the way, if you guys are wondering, no. Any sexual activity further than what happened in this chapter will not appear in this story.
Thank you to all the reviews last chapter. I'm sorry I haven't replied to all of them. But they all make me smile and more determined to finish this. And to syn2554, thank you for pointing that out to me. I'll probably edit the chapter after I finish the story. :)
2 chapters left! And I'm planning a little surprise for you guys after this story is done. I'm just not sure what it would be yet. Hope you all stay with me until the end. See you in the next chapter! :)
Author: shohai_mizuki
Pairing: Junseung (Junhyung/ Hyunseung), Dooseob, Kiwoon, others
Other Groups: Big Bang
Rating: PG-13
Summary: These days, courting seems as easy as counting 1, 2, 3. But not for a certain individual. Because, unfortunately for him, he falls for the secretive and stubborn Jang Hyunseung who has a reputation for being unresponsive to the most romantic of courting. You'd wonder what exactly he has up his sleeve to get this elusive doe-eyed doll.
Author's Notes: There are shifts between past and present tense and they're deliberate. I hope I wrote it out clear enough for you guys to understand what's going on. Comments, criticisms, and suggestions are welcome! :)
Previous Chapters: [0] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]
---
The rest of the day rolls by in a haze. He listens to the lectures but the question 'What does a white chrysanthemum mean?' gnaw at his consciousness. He keeps glancing at the object of his worries whenever he could afford to. He sighs as he writes down the important things to remember and the answers to the test. After the last subject, he decides to ask his girl classmates if any of them knows the answer. Unfortunately, none of them are well-versed with flowers and their meanings. They smile at him encouragingly though, telling him it couldn't be so bad. Unusually, not a single one tried to flirt with him or something akin to it. He guesses they don't think they could win against Junhyung. He might just agree with them. No. He does agree with them. There probably is no other person who could care for him and treat him like Junhyung does.
He thanks them and turns away when one of them calls out to him suggesting the school library. He mentally kicks himself over and over. He's been so busy worrying he forgot he could just go to the library and check for the meaning there. What is Junhyung doing to him? He shakes his head and suddenly realizes something. He looks around the room and sees no Junhyung. He didn't wait for him. Even though he isn't going home immediately, because no one has a choice but to follow Jiyong's orders, he thought Junhyung would still wait for him and tease him and bug him and infuriate him and make him fall harder. He takes it as a bad sign and dejectedly takes his things, walking to the library. The white chrysanthemum given to him hangs out of the bag, the stem inside while the flower shows its beauty to the world. He decides that the others can wait for him. He has more important matters to take care of right now.
He walks inside the library he seldom visits just because he likes buying books and keeping a collection. And because he likes studying at home rather than here where, even if it's each to their own, you just never know when someone will pop out and distract you, especially people confessing to you. Well, it's mostly the latter, about 99%. He searches the online catalog for books to help him with his problem. He writes it down on the paper provided nearby and quickly walks to where the book is. Although people have backed off confessing to him ever since Junhyung came to the picture, it's never bad to take caution. He looks through rows and rows of books, fingers idly running through the spines.
There. He grabs the book and flips through the pages to where he could finally know the meaning of a white chrysanthemum. The feeling of dread floods him again and he stops for a moment before shaking it off. He needs to know no matter what. He's not ready, definitely not, but he will still look. He could cope up with whatever it means later. Right now, the question needs to be answered. He continues and almost misses the page in his haste. His eyes immediately fall unto the picture of the white chrysanthemum, just like the one he has sticking out of his bag. He reads the meaning.
Truth. Loyal love.
Relief washes over him. His heart swells with all the mushy feelings everyone keeps talking about. He couldn't quite explain it. A mixture of happiness, love, reassurance, and so many more, perhaps. A wide smile adorns his face, eyes twinkling in delight. Junhyung isn't giving up. Junhyung is remaining loyal to him. Truth. His smile drops. What could that mean? What truth? He shakes his head. For now, he'll just be happy. If he's to know about the meaning behind 'truth', he'd have to ask Junhyung. And that wouldn't be until tomorrow. Because Junhyung is still mad at him. The last bits of happiness he's gathered vanishes. Junhyung is still mad.
He puts the book back and walks out of the library to the gates. What is he to do now? He knows he couldn't think of anything else for the rest of the day. Nothing requires most of his attention anymore. Hanging out with his friends, going home, resting, they could all be done while he's debating on how to get Junhyung to not be mad at him. He sighs. How many times has he done that today? Thinking about that makes him sigh once more. He almost walks past Jiyong and Seunghyun with all the thoughts clamoring inside his head.
"Hey there depressed little cat." Jiyong swings an arm around his shoulders, making him stop walking. He looks blankly back at the other. "Well now. I'm not the one whose fault it is you're like that."
"I know." He hangs his head low. They start walking the 5 minute walk to Jiyong's apartment, Seunghyun following behind them like a bodyguard.
"Really. I don't know what to do with you, Jang Hyunseung." He could see Jiyong's head shaking from the corner of his eye. "I mean, we've already thoroughly investigated Junhyung. And you know when we mean thoroughly, we mean it down to every letter. We gave our permission. Why are you still so distrusting?"
He looks at the person leading him with wide eyes. "I know that. But what are you talking about with this distrusting thing?"
"Let's just say for safety purposes we sort of bugged your room after interrogating Junhyung and saw what happened last weekend."
If his eyes could go any wider, they would have. His mouth hangs open and his body is still being led by this person who just admitted to bugging his room and invading his privacy. Never mind how the heck they got inside his room without him knowing. Who in the world gave them permission to bug his room? Have they gone completely insane? Sure he knows his friends aren't what you'd call normal. They're over the top especially with these kinds of stuff. But he never would have thought they'd do it to him. That is out of bounds. And there is hell to pay. They should know that.
"You bugged my room, eh, Jiyong-hyung?" There's probably an evil aura emanating from him at that moment. But Jiyong had an equally evil aura about him.
"Why yes. Are you going to do something about it, Mr. Blurt-out-everything-in-my-mind?" Oh that was low. He looks away in guilt. He knows he's wrong for saying those things to Junhyung, for being so difficult. What is he to do? How is he supposed to fix this? "Hey. We've got the perfect strategy to help you gain Junhyung's forgiveness."
"What is it?" He keeps his face blank and unreadable. Inside his head though, he doesn't know if he should be ecstatic or reluctant. Jiyong's plans are great and all but they always have a catch.
"Oh you'll see. Now, let's just walk faster, okay?"
And faster they did walk, Jiyong and Seunghyun chatting all the way, not letting him think for one second about his Junhyung problem. They actually made it earlier than the 5 minute mark. The building isn't anything fancy, just one of the usual apartment buildings seen everyday. They go up the stairs to the 3rd floor and inside room number 9. The place is clean and neat as usual. There's nothing out of the ordinary that would inconvenience him. And he hopes it stays that way because he really doesn't like being alone in this room with his friends. There is only so much he could take from their kind of crazy. Where are the others anyway? They're nowhere in sight.
"Off we go!" He's suddenly thrown into Jiyong's bedroom. The latter and Seunghyun following close behind. He lets out an indignant cry. See? They have some problems in the head. Couldn't they have just told him to go in? There is such a thing as talking. He shakes his head and straightens himself.
"And I'm thrown into your bedroom, why?" He loves them. Seriously. But this is just not helping. He still needs to think how to apologize to Junhyung and make it up to said person. He starts to frown and ignore his surroundings once more. Maybe he should give Junhyung a flower too? That's idea number one. But more importantly, it's probably better to have a thought out apology ready. He isn't good with expressing himself though so how is he supposed to do that?
"Tada!" Jiyong suddenly pulls out their school uniform out of nowhere. He stares in horror. There's nothing wrong with their uniform. He actually kind of likes it. The only reason the color of his face has drained is because it's the girl's uniform. He could feel the bad vibes all over. He could hear the warning bells in his mind ringing wildly. He could feel the need to run away, as far away as possible. He does. But against two guys who have every intent of holding him back, with one being much bigger than him, he doesn't get past the door.
"No! No! No!" He struggles. "I know what you're thinking. You are not putting that on me!"
"Yes we are. Besides, I think Junhyung will like it very much." Jiyong grins at him while his clothes seem to disappear from his body to the floor. He doesn't even know how this is possible with all his struggling. These people are pros. His respect for them as torturers rises. But that's beside the point. "He even asked you to do it for him one time."
"How-"
"What Jiyong meant by bugging your room is bugging the entire house except for your parents' room." Seunghyun replies to his unfinished question while putting the blouse on him with the blazer next in line. Jiyong is already working on slipping the skirt on him. Fast and efficient. These people are scary. Did Seunghyun just say they bugged the entire house?
"You what?" He yelled at them. His struggles increase but with the two of them almost finished, there's not much point. "Why would you even bug me in the first place? Shouldn't you be bugging Junhyung's house or something?"
"We had to make sure there's nothing inappropriate going on at your house so we decided to bug it as well." Jiyong states, fixing his hair and putting a headband which popped out of nowhere. Seunghyun does the finishing touches to the uniform. The former grins teasingly at him and lightly smacks his butt. "There. All done."
He hides his red face in his hands and avoids looking at the full-length mirror in this room. Memories of embarrassing childhood flows into his mind. He really must have done something horrible in his past life. And he doesn't even know how this is going to help him apologize to Junhyung. Jiyong said Junhyung will like this very much but the latter isn't even here. What's the point of stripping him, which is embarrassing enough in itself, and putting him in a skirt, triple the embarrassment?
"Not bad." He hears Seunghyun say and he wishes he could dig a hole and hide himself. "Are the others here yet?"
"Oh right." A flip of a phone. "Yeah. They're waiting outside. Hyun, stay here, got it? If you even think of taking that uniform off, we will handcuff you and make you wear an even more embarrassing outfit than that and parade you all over town. And you know well, I have those outfits."
His head snaps up, face filled with horror. Jiyong merely smiles that innocently wicked smile. He knows Jiyong has them. He's already seen them hidden in the closet, probably wears it for Seunghyun. Why is he friends with these guys again? He wallows in self-pity as they exit the room. He doesn't make any movement. They might think he's trying to take it off. No. This is nothing compared to the humiliation of walking down the streets in girl's clothes that are 'even more embarrassing' as Jiyong so kindly stated.
"And try not to mess this chance up, okay? What happened last Saturday was just sad." He looks to the door to see Jiyong's back as the other waves nonchalantly. He knows. He messed up really bad last Saturday. He doesn't need them to tell him. Junhyung's attitude is enough of an indication as it is.
The door closes and he stands there awkwardly waiting for whatever happens to him. Jiyong's words come to mind. Chance? What chance? Junhyung's not here, probably home already. He fidgets, his legs begging him to sit down. He looks around for a chair and unwittingly spots himself in the mirror instead. He doesn't look half-bad actually, he admits to himself. He rakes his fingers through his hair, fixing them a little more, and dusts the uniform. He looks like a flat-chested school girl with an adam's apple and no shoes on. He flinches as he notices that Jiyong got him a skirt a little too short for his liking. He should have already expected that. He shakes his head and walks to the chair in front of the small study table beside the bed.
He sits down, fixing the skirt so it could cover his legs as much as possible, hands firmly placed on his legs. The stiffness of his body doesn't show the inner turmoil starting in his head once more. But before he could lose his attention completely, the object of his problems enters the room. His breath hitches and his body goes numb. He doesn't mind his five friends waving at him and giving him various hand signals which don't mean a thing to him because Junhyung's eyes land on him. The door closes and they're left alone.
He panics. He isn't ready. He isn't supposed to see Junhyung until tomorrow morning. What's he to say? He might blurt out something stupid again. The appreciative look in Junhyung's eyes and the playful smirk make his mind stop working. He looks down at himself and finally remembers he's in their girl's uniform in front of the person he likes. This cannot end well. His face turns bright red and once more, he hides behind his hands. Damn his friends.
"You look wonderful." He doesn't notice the faint blush on Junhyung's cheeks because of his growing and growing need to hide. He hears Junhyung's footsteps coming towards him though and feels Junhyung pry his hands away from his face. Their faces are close to each other once again as Junhyung holds his chin upward. There's something in Junhyung's eyes that makes him stare. "But you will never do this in front of anyone besides me again. I won't allow it."
His lips get what they've been craving, a kiss from Junhyung. It's more bruising than the previous ones, a certain unnameable feeling to it. He opens his eyes when Junhyung breaks them apart. The latter moves away from him to stand upright but Junhyung's eyes never leave him. They bore into his and he stares just as hard. The silence passes by them as they simply look into each other's eyes. His mind is blank. He's no longer panicking.
"I'm sorry." He begins in a soft voice. And it grows to a normal volume. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have said those things to you. I knew it was just a rumor that you were a womanizer. I just said it without thinking."
"Why?"
"I didn't know. I was angry. I really didn't mean it to hurt you this bad."
"I'm not hurt because of that. You won't tell me the truth. That's what hurts." Truth. So that's what Junhyung also meant by giving him the white chrysanthemum.
"What-" He hesitates, averting his eyes, before finding his resolve and looking back to Junhyung's eyes again. He is going to do things right this time. And telling the truth is what's right. "What do you want to know?"
"You seemed affected by the rumor. Why?"
His eyes widen. He sort of expected that, wishing Junhyung wouldn't ask. He's still trying to understand it more himself. He avoids looking at Junhyung and squirms in his seat. He's already resolved to answer whatever Junhyung asks him. He can do this. He just needs some time to gather himself and at least let his blush die down first. Breathe in. Breathe out. It's now or never. Junhyung deserves to know. Junhyung has been kind and understanding all this time. He will repay that. He looks back to Junhyung who is waiting patiently for him to answer. And his heart melts a little. Junhyung is just too good, like a dream.
"I was-I am insecure." His hands start to fidget but he continues, willing himself to remain calm and tell Junhyung. "I didn't know if this is all just a phase to you or something. I wasn't sure if you would stay by me or leave me for a girl. What if you find yourself wanting a girl and not me? That's what came to my mind. I'm jealous. Jealous how they were together with you. Jealous how they're girls and I'm a boy. Jealous how it takes time for you to come to me but not with them. But I understand. I do. I understand it's not that easy. I understand it's awkward. I just can't help it though, feeling this way."
Once done, he lets out a sigh of relief. Getting it out does help, especially if it's to the person involved. Realizing what he's said though, he looks away, red tinting his cheeks. He said it. He still can't face Junhyung though. It's not everyday he lets out what he feels and thinks, especially not something like this. He swears he won't be doing this again anytime soon. To redeem himself even just a bit, he says haughtily, "This doesn't mean I like you or we're together though."
And just for good measure, he crosses his arms and looks up to Junhyung with a challenging gaze. He's met with a laugh and a shake of the head. Junhyung is walking towards him, smirk well in place. That smug look, he would just like to wipe that off the other's face. For the second time that day, his chin is held and tilted upward. "Okay. But I think being jealous is a sign that you like me."
"Says who? It's not really a universal rule that just because a person is jealous means they like the other person."
"Says me."
"Well then dream on because I am far from liking you." Not. But that's just for him to know.
"Whatever you say, Seung." With that Junhyung lets go of his chin but holds his hand and pulls him up, arms embracing him tightly by his waist. He's drawn once again to Junhyung's eyes. "Why would I want a girl when I have you?"
Seriously, with Junhyung, he bets that soon he'll have too much in his head from all the blushing. "Why are you so cheesy? Didn't I already tell you to stop that?"
"It just can't be helped." Junhyung smirks playfully at him with a wink before letting him go and looking around the room. He tries to decipher what Junhyung seems to be looking for when he spots his uniform at the same time Junhyung does. The latter looks at him and they both pick the discarded clothes up, Junhyung giving them to him. "I'd do a lot of things to you right now, but they're spying on us so I'm keeping it clean. If you want me to look away, I will."
With those words, an idea forms in his mind. A sort of payback to his friends for dressing him up this way, bugging his house and spying on him. He drops all his gathered clothes to the floor once more and moves slowly to Junhyung, adding a bit of sway to his hips. A playful smirk, much like the one Junhyung was just wearing awhile ago, makes its way to his lips. He could see Junhyung gulp and look away. That's alright because when he reaches the other, he winds his arms on Junhyung's neck and moves Junhyung's head to face him. He half-closes his eyes and moves in to kiss Junhyung. Their lips touch and the kiss deepens. His hands guide Junhyung's hands to his waist. With hands still over Junhyung's hands, he walks, making Junhyung walk with him, to the bed. Junhyung's knees buck after hitting the edge of the bed and they're both sitting, Junhyung on the bed and him on Junhyung. Then he guides on hand to his leg and without his assistance, Junhyung gently caresses his leg. He lets out a moan that's just a little bit more exaggerated.
That's when Jiyong bursts into the room along with the others. "Stop right there!"
He pulls away from Junhyung and turns his head to look at Jiyong, innocently with a smile. "What's the matter? Why are you all here? I thought you guys already left us to make up."
"You know why we're here." Jiyong's words are sharp and his eyes burn with purpose.
"Damn. You guys were seriously gonna go at it!" He didn't need to see who said that to know it was Seungri. He rolls his eyes.
"Hyun, I think you should go change now." Daesung looks at him meaningfully. He shrugs and gets off Junhyung, picking up his clothes and heading towards the bathroom in the hall. He pauses in front of his friends crowding at the door for awhile before they give way for him. He smiles at them with an evil glint in his eyes just to let them know he had gotten them. He continues on his way after that, reveling at how Jiyong laughs in amusement while saying 'I've taught you well'. He leaves Junhyung staring at him with a shocked and amused expression.
Once in the bathroom, he quickly changes clothes, not wanting to be in skirt for one more second. But after finishing, he hesitates on going back. He had enough anger to do those things awhile ago but now that he's gotten his revenge, which was trick-them-into-believing-he's-going-to-do-something-considered-inappropriate-because-he-knows-they're-that-protective, he's reduced to an embarrassed piece of mush. He doesn't know if he could face Junhyung and look him in the eye. It's obvious why he did it. And if it wasn't, his friends are probably already telling Junhyung it was just some evil plot of his. He should calm down and just act normal. Punch Junhyung. No. He already swore he wouldn't do that anymore.
He shakes his body and walks out of the bathroom. Passing by the living room and entering the bedroom once more, he doesn't look at any of them and keeps walking until he reaches the laundry bin, dumping the clothes there. He spots his bag, lying innocently on the floor, and picks it up. He finally turns to the other occupants of the room who are staring at him. He quirks an eyebrow. He avoids looking at Junhyung though. "Thanks for today. Just so you know, if you put me in girl's clothing again, I will kill you guys. I'm off. See you tomorrow."
He waves at them and turns, walking out of the room. He looks at the laptop again and sees Junhyung moving to follow him while Seungri gets smacked on the head for asking 'So how do you do it with a guy?'. He laughs slightly but quickens his pace, not wanting to face the other just yet. Junhyung comes out of the room, saying "Wait for me."
He doesn't reply, simply walking on and exiting the apartment. But he stops beside the door, leaning on the wall and looking at the floor. When Junhyung comes out, he doesn't need to look up to know that Junhyung smiled before taking his hand and pulling him to walk. His head remains fascinated with the floor as they walk down the stairs, past the small lobby, and into streets. He doesn't take his hand back, liking how Junhyung's hand feels wrapping around his.
"I'm not exactly happy about this" He says though, while tugging on their linked hands to indicate what he means. He feels the need to make sure Junhyung doesn't think he's already fallen for him and that he's not fighting back anymore. He's still determined to make Junhyung work harder for him. It's just that he'll be a little nicer.
Junhyung chuckles and merely grips his hand tighter. "I know. I'm happy too."
"I said I wasn't happy about it. Stop selectively hearing things." He turns his head to glare half-heartedly at Junhyung. He wills his face not to heat up. His earlier embarrassment flying away for the time being.
"I'm not selectively hearing things. I'm just reading between the lines." He rolls his eyes at the smirk accompanying that haughty line. They drop the subject and wait in silence after arriving at the bus stop. And the silence drags on even until they were seated at the bus. Their hands only separating when they paid for the ride and when they settled on their seats. It isn't that he seeks out Junhyung's hand. No. The other simply grabs his hand and doesn't let go. He doesn't complain about it though. He reasons to himself that he could indulge Junhyung after hurting him like that.
He stares out the window with a small smile tugging at his lips. He feels lighter than this morning when they were in a bus as well. The blurred images of the scenery outside take his attention from his surroundings to things far beyond. The comfortable silence only makes it more suitable for him to let his mind wander. He thinks that somehow after being able to admit to himself that he's starting to like Junhyung seriously, he's been letting himself get kissed by Junhyung and letting the other hold his hand. Has he become easy? He chastises himself, kicking the him in his mind. He would start regulating himself. And then the memory of his earlier actions surface. He should really stop doing things without thinking about them twice. Yes he wanted to get back at his friends but letting himself act that way just for that seems so unreasonable now that he has a clear head.
He peeks from the corner of his eyes to the person beside him. As if sensing him, Junhyung turns to look and he immediately straightens, looking out of the window again. He could see Junhyung reflected on the glass again, smiling at him before facing front again, face relaxed. He smiles as well while a thumb lazily draws circles against the back of his hand. He gives up. What's done is done. Besides, Junhyung doesn't seem to mind. And he's not mentioning it either, which he is eternally thankful for.
His eyes then wander to his bag where the white chrysanthemum proudly stands out. He reaches out to it and plays with the many petals. This flower is more special than the roses he had first received from Junhyung. Far more special. And he'll take the utmost care for it so that he could last as long at it can. When the time comes, he would make the petals into the dried ones that people insert in books. Before anything more takes place in his mind, Junhyung tugs at his hand. It's their stop. They go down and walk towards his house.
He notices that the sky is already dark. He doesn't want his parents to worry so he walks faster, dragging Junhyung with him. "Come on. It's getting really late. Our parents will be worried and you'll be walking home alone."
"Sounds like you're worried about me." He already knows the other would say something like that so he doesn't pause in his pace. He shakes his head as Junhyung catches up to his side.
"Yes. Think whatever you want of it. Now shut up and hurry."
They walk so fast one could almost call it running. Almost. When they finally arrive at his porch, they were panting heavily, sweat dripping down their faces despite the cold weather. He looks at Junhyung and stares, thinking how hot the other looks right then. The thought makes him blush and his cheeks get redder when Junhyung turns to look at him with those deep eyes conveying so many things to him that he couldn't understand. He pulls his hand free from the other's hold and shoos him away.
"Go. Now. You might say you could handle yourself but it's best to take precautions."
"I wasn't even going to disagree." Junhyung laughs and leans to kiss his cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow then."
Maybe Junhyung won't notice if he turns into a puddle while he watches said person's back moving further away from him. Truthfully, he was expecting a kiss on the lips. But the kiss on his cheek seems so much sweeter that he couldn't help but feel that his legs might just give up. He shakes himself and enters the house to find his parents already at the dining table. He greets them, surprised they are unaffected by his lateness. When he questions them about it, they laugh and smile in a teasing manner.
"Why would we worry when Junhyung's with you? We trust him." His mother says and he could feel that she means it. He rolls his eyes and puts down his bag beside his chair as he sits down. They eat dinner with light conversation to fill the silence. When asked about his day, he vaguely answers about how it was boring and such. They raise their eyebrows at him but he waves them off and the chatter continues until they finish dinner.
He excuses himself to his room where he collapses on the bed after a tiring day. Lying there for a few minutes just staring at his ceiling, he decides to fix himself up for bed. He heads to the bathroom to wash himself of sweat and dirt, brushing his teeth afterward and putting his night clothes on. He sluggishly walks to his bed when he's done, feeling even more sleepy and tired after the relaxing bath. Collapsing once more, he drifts to sleep. And he's almost dead to the world when his phone buzzes. He curses and knows it's Junhyung. He debates on whether to reach into his bag, grab his phone and read the message or just ignore it. He sighs and does the former. His sleepy mind doesn't take in the words of the text as they appear slightly blurred to his heavy eyes. When he wakes up in the morning, he would be red all over and cursing Junhyung to the next universe. For now, he falls soundly asleep, dreaming of warm hands and lips.
From: My Stalker
I've discovered a new side of Jang Hyunseung today.
And I like it.
If you're like that in bed...
I can't wait until I make you mine.
---
Author's Notes: This is the longest chapter so far. And the one I like most just because it has cross-dressing in it. Haha! I couldn't help myself. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was sort of a pain to write. Until now, I keep feeling that there's something missing or there's something wrong. I don't know what though. It's probably the Big Bang members. By the way, if you guys are wondering, no. Any sexual activity further than what happened in this chapter will not appear in this story.
Thank you to all the reviews last chapter. I'm sorry I haven't replied to all of them. But they all make me smile and more determined to finish this. And to syn2554, thank you for pointing that out to me. I'll probably edit the chapter after I finish the story. :)
2 chapters left! And I'm planning a little surprise for you guys after this story is done. I'm just not sure what it would be yet. Hope you all stay with me until the end. See you in the next chapter! :)