Of Stubbornness and Courtships [13a/ 15]
Title: Of Stubbornness and Courtships
Author: shohai_mizuki
Pairing: Junseung (Junhyung/ Hyunseung), Dooseob, Kiwoon, others
Other Groups: Big Bang
Rating: PG-13
Summary: These days, courting seems as easy as counting 1, 2, 3. But not for a certain individual. Because, unfortunately for him, he falls for the secretive and stubborn Jang Hyunseung who has a reputation for being unresponsive to the most romantic of courting. You'd wonder what exactly he has up his sleeve to get this elusive doe-eyed doll.
Author's Notes: There are shifts between past and present tense and they're deliberate. I hope I wrote it out clear enough for you guys to understand what's going on. Comments, criticisms, and suggestions are welcome! :)
Previous Chapters: [0] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]
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Monday morning rolls by drearily. Surprisingly, he is up an hour before his alarm. He looks out the window and into the dark sky where little flecks of color are starting to emerge. Last Saturday's events are still fresh in his mind. While he and Junhyung were smiling towards each other, his mother had whipped out her cellphone and took a picture of them in that situation. The resounding click broke their gaze and his mother cursed about forgetting to adjust the sound settings but was happy about the picture nonetheless and immediately shared it to Junhyung's mother who had her cellphone out by then. It took all of his self-control not to act rude and throw a tantrum. Instead, he inwardly fumed as he looked down, hiding his reddened face, and continued to eat while Junhyung merely chuckled. Their fathers laughed at their wives' antics.
After that incident, as they continue to eat, a conversation between all of them ensued. It consisted of mundane topics like school, hobbies, and the like. It was a kind of getting to know you conversation. In reaching the friends part of the conversation, there were a lot of things he had learned about Junhyung, much more than the hobby of writing lyrics, watching movies, and dancing. His mother had a lot of questions for Junhyung who was willing to answer them.
He already knew Junhyung had been friends with Yoseob since way back in the days of diapers. He already knew that it was because of Yoseob's parents' persuasion that Junhyung and his family moved here. What he didn't know was that Junhyung would often go to Yoseob's house since Yoseob had been his only friend back then. The surprising part was that they had actually played with each other a few times when their visits to Yoseob would coincide. He had stared in surprise at Junhyung and exclaimed, "What?".
"I'm not lying. We really did meet each other but we were, well, awkward" Junhyung had replied.
"I don't remember."
"Junhyung, is Hyunseung the one you were talking about? The pretty child you couldn't approach?" Junhyung's mother asked with a sly, knowing smile as he tried to rack his brain for the blurry memory of childhood.
"Yes. The very same."
Junhyung's mother laughed, sounding kind of cynical and teasing, and turned to his mother, saying, complete with a childish tone at the right parts, "You know, Junhyung was such a shy kid. He was so struck by Hyunseung's beauty, he didn't know what to do. He kept on complaining to me. 'Eomma how?' 'Am scared he no like to talk to me, Eomma.' 'He looks really pretty.' 'I like him! He likes same things as me!' Oh he was so cute fretting over befriending Hyunseung."
As the parents laughed, his cheeks grew warm at the short revelation. So Junhyung had been trying to talk to him ever since they were kids? He didn't like being called pretty but imagining a small, shy Junhyung telling him that was endearing. He looked at Junhyung and stared. The usually cool front was broken and instead an embarrassed Junhyung was there, his hand covering his mouth. And then he remembered a little kid who would try to talk to him and he didn't know how to reply because the kid was so cute, he was equally embarrassed.
"So I guess Junhyung was the little stranger Hyunseung talked about. The one he didn't know how to talk to. Hyunseung was so shy and still is actually. Would you imagine that? Who would have thought these two awkward kids would end up together!" His mother exclaimed. He tried to remember anything else, talking to his mother about Junhyung, talking to Junhyung, playing with Junhyung, but nothing came to mind except the image of little Junhyung the first time the other tried talking to him.
The loud chatter and gossip of two married ladies went on but he wasn't fazed. He tried to jog his memory, harder and harder, until a nudge on his head reeled him back to reality. He turned towards Junhyung, the only one who would do it, and the well-known smirk is in place. Along with the smirk came the words, "Any more thinking and your brain will implode."
His eye twitched and he stopped a biting remark from escaping his lips. He settled for a glare because, no, he will not be rude in front of his parents and Junhyung's parents. He had manners. Junhyung will just pay for that later on when they were alone and he can do whatever he wants to the infuriating man beside him. He flustered at the implications of his thinking and corrected himself. 'Do whatever he wants' sounds so sexual and by no means was he going there. No, what he meant was more on punching Junhyung rather than kissing him. That would just be playing right into Junhyung's game even if kissing the other is pleasurable albeit a trigger for insomnia.
His glare vanished. Those thoughts were and will never leave from the confines of his mind. No one shall ever know of those embarrassing thoughts. He shook his head and glared again before going back to finish the last of his food. He took his plate and placed it on the sink, excusing himself to his room as everyone decided to stay longer on the table. He guessed Junhyung would soon follow him because that's just how it goes. He goes one place, Junhyung follows, always knowing where he would be. And under normal circumstances, he would have just told Junhyung to go entertain himself in the living room but since his parents and Junhyung's parents were here then he has to act nice and let him in.
Once in his room, he fixed his things and hid what are supposed to be hidden, otherwise known as Junhyung's gifts. And then, he half-heartedly waited for the other to arrive, preparing the video game he thought they could play while their parents continued their old people talk until they were tired. There was a small television inside his room which he earned by getting good grades. Thus, having his entertainment within the confines of his safe place. When the long-awaited knock came, he opened the door gingerly and punched the unaware guest on the arm with a resounding smack.
"I think you just broke a bone." Junhyung said in a voice holding back a yelp of pain, nursing the bruised and battered arm.
"Damn. Now I can only punch one arm." He muttered begrudgingly. "Although, the rest of your body is still fine. Okay. There's still a lot of areas I can punch."
"Are you trying to kill me?" The victim looked at him with a mixture of incredulity and amusement.
"Maybe. I don't know. My brain might implode if I think too much about it." And there went the sarcastic remark. He paired it up with a sharp turn and long strides across his room. He heard the quiet chuckle and the soft click of the door as it closed. He turned around to face the invader of his safe place. "I don't get you. You say you love me but you go and make me angry at you. Are you on drugs or something?"
"We both know I didn't mean what I said. And it seems to me you've got a rather inexperienced notion of love." Junhyung smirks, a knowing gaze settled on him. Then it was his turn to look incredulously at Junhyung. And before he could have said anything, the other continued to speak. "I'm guessing you're thinking couples should always be nice to each other, understand each other, be all fairytale-like. But you don't get it. That's not how it always is. I do admit that some people really have this kind of relationship. But there are a lot of different dynamics. And each relationship is unique. Ours turns out to be a rather violent one from the looks of my arm."
He glared. Being belittled about love was definitely not what he expected. Of course he knew that falling and being in love isn't all sunshine and lollipops. He's in love with this stalker isn't he? And their relationship is anything but sunshine and lollipops. Just look at the smug guy in front of him and then tell what is so sparkly and full of hearts about them. Of all people to fall for, he falls for this guy. "If your parents weren't here, I would have kicked you out of my room, bastard. Don't try to act all knowing and tell me I don't know anything about love. Frigging womanizer."
He almost flipped his middle finger just for good show but he just sat down on the floor in front of the small television and started playing the video game he prepared. Seriously, he couldn't quite understand himself or the cruel fate of his love life. Meeting this crazy, stupid stalker, then being chased around by said stalker. But the best part is actually falling for that same person and admitting it to himself after being ridiculed on his knowledge of love or his so called lack of it. He had seen enough of people getting together and being in love to know some things about the strange concept everyone is so helplessly craving for.
His character had just brutally murdered the opponent when he felt Junhyung sit down beside him and nudge his arm. He gave a glare, trying to convey that he was most certainly not happy and anyone who does not want to be dead should back off especially the one who pissed him off. Besides, the guy was too close for comfort. And it clicked in his mind what Junhyung was about to do. But no, no amount of kissing would make him less angry. It has absolutely no effect whatsoever. Nope. Zero. Zilch. Nada.
Yes. Yes. Yes. It had an effect. And he cursed himself for it. He cursed kissing for all its magical ways of making people feel better and calmer. He cursed it for feeling so nice. He cursed it for making him want more. He cursed it for making him realize how easy it is for Junhyung to keep on breaking him down. Pair it up with a sincere, piercing look and a breathy "Sorry" fanning over his face and he was melting inside his head. If only he could literally kick himself, then he would have. Instead he was staring dazedly at Junhyung.
"I'm sorry. I didn't think you would get this angry. I just thought that from the way you keep complaining about me teasing you and that being a sign that this isn't love, maybe, maybe you didn't know so much about love. I was getting ahead of myself. I'm sorry Seung."
And there went the final blow to all of his anger. If he hadn't know any better, he'd have said that this man in front of him is manipulating him. And maybe that was true. But he realized something from the other's words. Finally! Something Junhyung didn't know. Something Junhyung wasn't sure about. Something Junhyung hadn't deduced from his stalker hobby. And he smiled.
"Does that mean I'm forgiven? Or did you just come up with the perfect plan of killing me?" His smile widened again. Another thing. "I might go for the latter. And I should probably be backing away now."
Junhyung had got up when he tugged on the other's pants hard enough to pull back down which resulted in a tangle of limbs. After successfully disentangling himself from Junhyung and sitting up straight again, he spoke with earnestness. "I thought for sure you knew me inside out."
Junhyung looked at him surprised then laughed. He frowned. It wasn't his fault this laughing person played the I-know-everything-about-you card extremely well. He waited until Junhyung had stopped laughing and had calmed down to start talking. "You really believed that? I think I probably already mentioned that I'm just good at guessing when it comes to you."
"Well your actions were screaming more of a I-have-stalked-you-for-so-long-there's-nothing-to-hide-anymore kind of vibe. Also an I'm-a-mutant-alien-with-mental-powers-to-read-your-mind kind of vibe. You really can't blame me for thinking that way. It's your fault."
"Yes. It's my fault you don't listen to me."
"Actions speak louder than words. And you said it was easy to follow my train of thought."
"Actions don't always speak louder than words. And if they do, you must already know how much I like you." He didn't have much time to react on that besides gaping slightly and blushing ever so lightly. "I'll say it again. I know about you just as much as I can observe. Yes, it's easy to follow your train of thought sometimes but not all the time. I didn't mean it as if I know what exactly you're thinking because I don't. I guess I've been extremely lucky the last few times. But I won't always know what's going on in that brain of yours. I don't think anyone can."
He punched Junhyung's arm for both that unnecessary comment and the snickering that came after that. "I guess that's true seeing as you didn't know what was going to happen awhile ago. And to answer the question, I wasn't planning on killing you."
"But I'm not yet forgiven. And what was that all about? The womanizer comment. Where did that come from all of a sudden?" The other was looking at him confused and hurt. Ah, he did it now. There was a prick of guilt for saying that off-handed insult. He knew Junhyung wasn't like that but it can't be helped that he knew the person in front of him had that kind of reputation which actually bugged him to no end. Of course, he believed that Junhyung is innocent of such accusations from their peers. It still irks him. And the word had slipped through his mouth just to get a rile out of the other.
"You-I-uhh..." He didn't know what to say. He already had a hard time admitting to himself that he was, maybe, probably, just slightly, jealous of the thought of all those girls with Junhyung. See? He couldn't even admit it straight out. How was he supposed to explain to Junhyung that he had said that out of insecurity? He was insecure. He is insecure. How long will Junhyung be chasing after him before the other is tired? How long will Junhyung keep on saying 'I like you' to him? Will it always be just 'like' when he already admits to himself he loves Junhyung to some extent? How long is this phase before Junhyung starts liking girls again? Is he just supposed to believe that Junhyung has liked him since they were kids and that making moves just recently is because of 'waiting for the right moment'?
There was so much going on inside his head all at the same day, all because of this person staring at him, waiting for him to answer with those eyes. He was insecure. He is insecure. He is afraid. What was he to say to the guy he just admitted to falling for just awhile ago? He panicked. "I don't know! You have that reputation. You tell me!"
One blunder after another. He reprimanded himself for being weak. His guilt must have shown in his face because Junhyung's hand came up to touch his cheek. Although Junhyung's face was serious and the hurt was still there. "I dated one girl at a time. I don't know who came up with that rumor about me womanizing but I was loyal to all those girls. Where was I supposed to pour out all my affection to? The affection that I have for you. I didn't think it was possible for you to reciprocate. As young as I was, I knew this kind of relationship between us isn't taken so lightly and accepted so easily so I went out with the girls that I liked. But as you can see, I'm still hung up on you. When boys started asking you out and you didn't seem to dislike the idea, well I took the chance. But not before talking myself to it for the longest time. I was nervous and scared but I took the chance. I didn't think you would react so badly about me dating girls back then."
"It's not like that." He struggled for words to say, to somehow convey to Junhyung that he really didn't mind all that much. With all that Junhyung said though, his mind was working overload. He could only say, "Is that true? Was all you said true?"
"You think I would lie about something like this?"
"No. No. It's just-you-" He took a breath and whispered. "I'm happy."
"You're...happy?" Junhyung looked at him, surprised and confused. But he wasn't going to answer that because he didn't know why himself. He guessed it was maybe because that just proves this is not a phase. And that somehow maybe proves Junhyung really likes him that much.
"But you're still stupid." He turned the smile that was about to surface into a smirk.
"Just because you finally-" He glared, the emphasis on finally was not appreciated. "-realized that I don't know everything about you nor can I read your mind, doesn't mean you can parade it and think that I won't get to the bottom of it."
He leaned close to Junhyung's face, still smirking. "My thoughts are mine alone, Yong Junhyung."
Click. Both of their heads snapped to his door. And who else would have been there but their mothers. He sighed. How are they supposed to live through this with their parents acting like teenage girls watching a television romance drama? He looked at Junhyung and the same thing was probably going through the other's mind. After their mothers were done chatting and exchanging pictures with each other, they finally announced why they were invading his room.
"Junhyung, we'd better go. We'll see you around, Hyunseung." Junhyung's mother smiled at him. He smiled back.
"Yes, Eomeonim."
Junhyung stood up and walked towards the door, stopping and turning when he got there. "See you tomorrow."
Smirk? Check. Blush? Check. Why? No idea. He was the one who was in control of the situation for the first time and then the tables got turned around just like that? He really couldn't understand it. Junhyung might seriously have some magical powers or something of the sort.
"Oh you are just so cute!" His mother exclaimed with delight. And like that, with him sitting on the floor, Junhyung and his parents had left his house. It was getting later in the afternoon. Was their talk really that long? Maybe, considering how awkward and clueless he was. The rest of Saturday and Sunday went by with all the teasing his parents could get away with, which was a lot considering they were his parents and he couldn't talk back.
His alarm goes off. He sluggishly move towards it, turning it off. He makes his way towards the bathroom, cleaning himself up for the day and dressing into his uniform. He had bad feeling about today. He guesses it's probably because of Junhyung. Even if he likes the guy, there's no denying that a lot of improbable things can happen when with said person. He shakes it off for now and heads to breakfast.
"Good morning." He greets warily.
"Oh good morning Mr. Lovebird." And that's why he's wary. He will never hear the end of it from his mother. He frowns and of course, as usual, his mother chastises him. "Now, now, frowning doesn't fit your pretty face. You wouldn't want Junhyung to see you like that."
"He already has." A lot of times in fact and with different variations, from frowning to glaring. And most of the time, with a punch accompanying it. The food is served and he digs in, choosing to ignore his mother's preaches of smiling for his boyfriend et cetera et cetera. In one ear, out the other. It's a trick most kids use, even adults. But he nods occasionally so that the preaching won't be longer than necessary. And once he finishes his food, he smiles. Not because he internalized what his mother had been saying, but because he's happy he can escape. "I'll be off now."
"Take care, dear. And tell Junhyung, I said hi."
He almost frowns. Almost because he couldn't bear to listen to another tirade from his mother. He mutters an "I will" before grabbing his bag and running off out of the house and into the cold morning air. Winter break is coming soon. Just a week from now and he'll be free of Junhyung stalking him. Although maybe Junhyung would still be stalking him no matter where he goes. Flattering really, but no. He could only imagine the torment he would go through. Fighting with Junhyung, getting flustered because of Junhyung, punching Junhyung, kissing Junhyung. Then a red tint covers his cheeks at the last thought. He might like the last one. Well, he actually likes all of those. But the last one takes the cake. Not that he'd ever say it out loud.
He thinks there are a lot of things he had admitted to himself that he swears he'd never tell. And they are all related to Junhyung. Because it's embarrassing, he would never tell. Not even if he completely falls for Junhyung. Not at all. He swears by that lone, barren tree beside that flickering lamp post over the waiting area. While he's waiting on the bench, he continues to swear to himself and to every object he could see. Maybe swearing it a lot of times to different things would make the swear stronger. Maybe. Well at least by doing so, he prevents himself from realizing and admitting another embarrassing thing to himself about Junhyung. And the bus arrives, carrying said person along with it. He rolls his eyes and pays for the ride, moving towards his usual seat where Junhyung was already waiting.
"Good morning Seung." The person filling his mind greets with a smirk, the trademark smirk that has him feeling both irritated and bubbly inside. He debates on how to reply as he sits down. Should he greet back with a 'Good morning' or not? Before he could think further than that, his head nods and looks out the window as if on auto-pilot. He sighs and merely looks on.
For some reason today, he sees Junhyung's reflection in the glass. The other is frowning and looking ahead. He blinks and narrows his eyes to make sure that what he is seeing is real. And it is. A pang of guilt runs through him. He doesn't know why but he feels as if he's the reason why Junhyung's face is like that. No, he knows he's the reason. He bites his lip. Was it because he didn't greet him properly? But he has always been like that. Maybe Junhyung got fed up with his attitude. He frowns worriedly.
And he tries to push it aside. Pushing and pushing it to the back of his mind. But it's insistent, clawing its way back. In a moment of frustration, he bangs his forehead on the window a little harder than he would have liked. He lets out a soft cry of pain, a hand shooting to his injury. He stops a curse from escaping his lips. But he doesn't stop the string of curses from filling his mind. Whenever Junhyung is concerned, he seems to be getting into trouble more often than he does. He sighs, a little more frustrated.
That is until he feels a hand take his own away from his forehead and his head is turned to face the occupant of the seat beside him, the person invading his mind. He is given a concerned look but those eyes looking at him hold an amused gaze. And he is reminded just how this person had single-handedly crumbled the walls he relentlessly puts up everyday. A blush adorns his cheeks, in both embarrassment of being caught having done such a stupid thing and of being the person under that shiver-inducing look.
"I'm wondering if I'd like to hear what's got you hurting yourself."
He stares, mind still straying from coherent thoughts. Words come out of his mouth without a single thought in articulating himself or constructing an understandable sentence which does not give away his growing obsession of thinking about Junhyung. It's all a weird mix of you, frustration, mind and frown put together in such an incomprehensible way. And when he realizes what he's done with that confused look thrown at him, he gets flustered even more. Eventually whispering, "Good morning", because he can't think with Junhyung like that.
"Uhh...I'm guessing you think I'm upset about you not greeting me properly. Thanks." There's a small smile on Junhyung's lips. That smile he likes. His lack of verbal response gets compensated, begrudgingly, by his abundant facial reaction, namely the phenomenon called blushing. But the smile quickly fades into a frown. "You got me being upset right. And it is about you. But the reason is wrong."
He flinches ever so slightly because he has never liked Junhyung being upset because of him, not even when he's pissed off by Junhyung, not even when he thinks the other is an annoying stalker. He debates on whether to ask what he did wrong but decides against it. He's still playing hard to get, isn't he? And Junhyung being upset because of him shouldn't concern him so much, if that's the case. He tries to act coolly and brush the subject even though it's clear that he's somewhat concerned, now that he's thinking clearly. "What are you talking about? I just wanted to greet you properly because I have manners unlike someone here who doesn't know personal space."
At that moment, he pushes himself away from Junhyung and scoots further to the window, his refuge within the moving vehicle. But again, for some reason today, he sees Junhyung's reflection in the glass and he watches. He watches as Junhyung's frown grows deeper. He watches as Junhyung's eyes bore into him as if Junhyung can see him watching. He watches as Junhyung finally looks away, still with that disappointed look.
He is left to himself again but that no longer holds much meaning. It only brings an onslaught of more thoughts of Junhyung. He could feel the growing guilt in him but he couldn't do anything. He is afraid. What is he afraid of? Falling even more for this person, perhaps. Junhyung has once again proved to understand him a whole lot even after the admittance of not truly, fully understanding him. Is he afraid of that? This person who might be able to understand him more than he can understand himself at times. Isn't that a good thing for a potential lover? But what does he understand about Junhyung? It seems so one way, this relationship they have, whatever it may be because there is no naming to this unique spark going on between them.
A slight prick on his chest surfaces when he thinks about how it seems so unfair for him to only take and take from Junhyung, for only Junhyung to be understanding and giving between the two of them. No matter what this relationship is, he feels as if he should do something for Junhyung. Unequal. That is what this relationship is at the moment. And he's resolved to turn it to the opposite because he knows and he believes that whether or not Junhyung pisses him off, still, the other should be treated kinder than what he's been doing. Especially after all those punches which he knows are hard, to say the least.
Yet, what is he to do? Every time an opportunity to be nice to Junhyung arises, he completely messes up. It's as if there's an internal automatic switch where even the simplest thought of greeting the other nicely turns it on and makes him blurt out unnecessarily harsh words. And the hard-to-get card is still being played. What is he to do? He thinks and thinks. He thinks of how to show Junhyung that he does care even just a little bit. He thinks of how to show Junhyung he doesn't always mean to be harsh that it's just how he is and how he is used to acting. He thinks of how to show Junhyung that he does like the other even just a little bit. He thinks of how to show Junhyung he doesn't act that way to push the other further but because he's embarrassed and doesn't know what to do. He thinks and thinks. But nothing comes to mind that would help.
And so the rest of the bus ride is in awkward silence, suffocating silence. In this silence, he is aware of how much longer it is to their stop, how much space there is between them, how much his hands are fiddling the straps of his bag. He is aware of how much he wants the feel of Junhyung's warm hand in his just to calm him down because fiddling isn't working anymore. He fights the urge to reach out to Junhyung. He's worried. He cares. He likes Junhyung. But he isn't about to depend on Junhyung just yet. He fights the urge to leap in joy as their stop comes and he is out of the bus, Junhyung walking ahead of him, not looking back. He's worried. He cares. He likes Junhyung. But he isn't about to run to Junhyung just yet. He lets Junhyung walk further and further away from him.
For once, his friends aren't there to greet him. He finds it odd not to see them, at least one of them, there. He looks around to see if they were only busy with something and did not notice him already there. No one. He sees no one so he walks dejectedly. Even if he wasn't going to tell them his current predicament, he would have wanted their company at least. He sighs, head hanging low. A few more steps and he bumps into someone. He looks up to apologize and finds Seunghyun staring at him. How the hell? He thought for sure he had looked thoroughly through his surroundings awhile back.
"You should watch where you're going, no matter how depressed you are." He receives a flick to his injured forehead and winces.
"I'll try keeping that in mind, hyung. Where are the others?"
Seunghyung points to his back, "Just talking to someone."
He tries to take a peak at whoever poor soul it is they're scaring now, or rather Jiyong is scaring, but he couldn't find them in sight. That's weird. Maybe they're hidden. He shrugs and looks at Seunghyun again. "Why aren't you with them?"
"My task is you." A smirk plays on the other's lips and he raises an eyebrow, confused. Him? That couldn't mean anything good. When there is something like this, it doesn't spell out good in any dictionary out there in the universe. How should he escape this? No. The real question is if he can.
"Me? Why?"
"We were thinking of hanging out after class. It's not a yes or no question, by the way." Of course he already knows it was a statement meant for him to follow. He sighs, shaking his head with a slight smile. His friends never do change. And that's what's so good about them. He could always count on them, even if they revolve at different worlds at times.
"When have I ever had a choice? Where are we going later?" He asks more about their little outing since it's a good distraction from his predicament. They continue their conversation as they walk down the hallways, not pausing to look at the people staring or double-taking.
"Jiyong's place." He stops mid-step. He loves them and all but Jiyong's place spells the most dangerous place to be when left with them. All sorts of wonders take place in that apartment that cannot be mentioned due to embarrassment and censor for underage kids. He turns his head dramatically to his companion, eyes pleading.
"You aren't serious, are you, hyung?"
"It's already been decided. His parents aren't coming to visit either." Damn. Not only is it Jiyong's apartment but there's no parental supervision either. Most dangerous mix known to man. Why was Jiyong, that living-the-heck-out-of-life guy, given an apartment again? Oh yes. The old far-away-house-just-buy-an-apartment-close-by reason. He's only ever been there a few times and he's always made sure Jiyong's parents were there after that one time which he honestly will never speak the details of ever again.
Seunghyun merely gives him an amused look and walks away with a 'See you later'. He is left to wallow in more depression than he had when he was in the bus. What has he done to deserve this? He's been finding himself asking that lately. And to make matters worse, he rams himself into his locker. His body had taken him to his locker but had forgotten to stop. Triple pain on the forehead for today plus the whole of his body.
He ignores the stares and whispers thrown his way. What use are those to his injured body? Is this payment for him punching Junhyung's arm? Because if it is, then he swears on every single person and every single thing in the school he won't ever punch Junhyung's arm again. He takes the things he needs for the day and heads off to his classroom which he didn't forget is Junhyung's classroom as well. And once again, he gets the feeling of anxiousness, not knowing if Junhyung would give the little presents he gets every morning. He's done it again and even if last time, Junhyung had still given him something, he doubts the other would this time around. Because he bets he has screwed up so badly.
He walks in and though he's anxious, his eyes immediately settle on his table where a white flower lay beside a paper airplane. A mixture of feelings wash over him as he stands there, rooted on the spot. He's relieved. He's embarrassed. He's falling more and more. But most importantly, he's so much more sorry and so much more guilty. He drags his feet towards his table, careful not to make eye contact or even get a glimpse of Junhyung. He doesn't know what he might do if that happens. He can't trust himself or his trained instincts. Yes, trained. His auto-pilot mode has already been fixed by him to make other people go away. He's kind of regretting it now that Junhyung's at the receiving end.
He sits down and slowly takes the white flower with painstaking care. He's not a genius on flowers so he doesn't know what it is but he likes it. It's so beautiful. His lips turn upwards in a small smile full of joy and love. Here is a flower, a gift, in the midst of their misunderstanding. How can he not fall for the guy who, despite being hurt by him, will continue to shower him with kindness and affection? How can he not fall for the guy who is always striving hard to stay by his side? How can he not fall for the guy who, despite teasing him, cares and understands him more than anyone else? How can he not fall for Junhyung? He holds the flower close to his heart with one hand while the other reaches out to the paper airplane, unfolding it and revealing the contents.
White Chrysanthemum
He blinks and looks at the flower. So it's a white chrysanthemum. There's probably some meaning behind it and he fears knowing it. What could it be? Does it mean Junhyung is giving up? His face pales in dread and bites his lip, eyes looking imploringly at the flower as if begging it not to mean that way. The bell rings and he places the chrysanthemum gently at the edge of his table, just enough not to bother his note-taking but not so much that it would fall. He folds the paper airplane neatly and puts it in his bag.
Author: shohai_mizuki
Pairing: Junseung (Junhyung/ Hyunseung), Dooseob, Kiwoon, others
Other Groups: Big Bang
Rating: PG-13
Summary: These days, courting seems as easy as counting 1, 2, 3. But not for a certain individual. Because, unfortunately for him, he falls for the secretive and stubborn Jang Hyunseung who has a reputation for being unresponsive to the most romantic of courting. You'd wonder what exactly he has up his sleeve to get this elusive doe-eyed doll.
Author's Notes: There are shifts between past and present tense and they're deliberate. I hope I wrote it out clear enough for you guys to understand what's going on. Comments, criticisms, and suggestions are welcome! :)
Previous Chapters: [0] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]
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Monday morning rolls by drearily. Surprisingly, he is up an hour before his alarm. He looks out the window and into the dark sky where little flecks of color are starting to emerge. Last Saturday's events are still fresh in his mind. While he and Junhyung were smiling towards each other, his mother had whipped out her cellphone and took a picture of them in that situation. The resounding click broke their gaze and his mother cursed about forgetting to adjust the sound settings but was happy about the picture nonetheless and immediately shared it to Junhyung's mother who had her cellphone out by then. It took all of his self-control not to act rude and throw a tantrum. Instead, he inwardly fumed as he looked down, hiding his reddened face, and continued to eat while Junhyung merely chuckled. Their fathers laughed at their wives' antics.
After that incident, as they continue to eat, a conversation between all of them ensued. It consisted of mundane topics like school, hobbies, and the like. It was a kind of getting to know you conversation. In reaching the friends part of the conversation, there were a lot of things he had learned about Junhyung, much more than the hobby of writing lyrics, watching movies, and dancing. His mother had a lot of questions for Junhyung who was willing to answer them.
He already knew Junhyung had been friends with Yoseob since way back in the days of diapers. He already knew that it was because of Yoseob's parents' persuasion that Junhyung and his family moved here. What he didn't know was that Junhyung would often go to Yoseob's house since Yoseob had been his only friend back then. The surprising part was that they had actually played with each other a few times when their visits to Yoseob would coincide. He had stared in surprise at Junhyung and exclaimed, "What?".
"I'm not lying. We really did meet each other but we were, well, awkward" Junhyung had replied.
"I don't remember."
"Junhyung, is Hyunseung the one you were talking about? The pretty child you couldn't approach?" Junhyung's mother asked with a sly, knowing smile as he tried to rack his brain for the blurry memory of childhood.
"Yes. The very same."
Junhyung's mother laughed, sounding kind of cynical and teasing, and turned to his mother, saying, complete with a childish tone at the right parts, "You know, Junhyung was such a shy kid. He was so struck by Hyunseung's beauty, he didn't know what to do. He kept on complaining to me. 'Eomma how?' 'Am scared he no like to talk to me, Eomma.' 'He looks really pretty.' 'I like him! He likes same things as me!' Oh he was so cute fretting over befriending Hyunseung."
As the parents laughed, his cheeks grew warm at the short revelation. So Junhyung had been trying to talk to him ever since they were kids? He didn't like being called pretty but imagining a small, shy Junhyung telling him that was endearing. He looked at Junhyung and stared. The usually cool front was broken and instead an embarrassed Junhyung was there, his hand covering his mouth. And then he remembered a little kid who would try to talk to him and he didn't know how to reply because the kid was so cute, he was equally embarrassed.
"So I guess Junhyung was the little stranger Hyunseung talked about. The one he didn't know how to talk to. Hyunseung was so shy and still is actually. Would you imagine that? Who would have thought these two awkward kids would end up together!" His mother exclaimed. He tried to remember anything else, talking to his mother about Junhyung, talking to Junhyung, playing with Junhyung, but nothing came to mind except the image of little Junhyung the first time the other tried talking to him.
The loud chatter and gossip of two married ladies went on but he wasn't fazed. He tried to jog his memory, harder and harder, until a nudge on his head reeled him back to reality. He turned towards Junhyung, the only one who would do it, and the well-known smirk is in place. Along with the smirk came the words, "Any more thinking and your brain will implode."
His eye twitched and he stopped a biting remark from escaping his lips. He settled for a glare because, no, he will not be rude in front of his parents and Junhyung's parents. He had manners. Junhyung will just pay for that later on when they were alone and he can do whatever he wants to the infuriating man beside him. He flustered at the implications of his thinking and corrected himself. 'Do whatever he wants' sounds so sexual and by no means was he going there. No, what he meant was more on punching Junhyung rather than kissing him. That would just be playing right into Junhyung's game even if kissing the other is pleasurable albeit a trigger for insomnia.
His glare vanished. Those thoughts were and will never leave from the confines of his mind. No one shall ever know of those embarrassing thoughts. He shook his head and glared again before going back to finish the last of his food. He took his plate and placed it on the sink, excusing himself to his room as everyone decided to stay longer on the table. He guessed Junhyung would soon follow him because that's just how it goes. He goes one place, Junhyung follows, always knowing where he would be. And under normal circumstances, he would have just told Junhyung to go entertain himself in the living room but since his parents and Junhyung's parents were here then he has to act nice and let him in.
Once in his room, he fixed his things and hid what are supposed to be hidden, otherwise known as Junhyung's gifts. And then, he half-heartedly waited for the other to arrive, preparing the video game he thought they could play while their parents continued their old people talk until they were tired. There was a small television inside his room which he earned by getting good grades. Thus, having his entertainment within the confines of his safe place. When the long-awaited knock came, he opened the door gingerly and punched the unaware guest on the arm with a resounding smack.
"I think you just broke a bone." Junhyung said in a voice holding back a yelp of pain, nursing the bruised and battered arm.
"Damn. Now I can only punch one arm." He muttered begrudgingly. "Although, the rest of your body is still fine. Okay. There's still a lot of areas I can punch."
"Are you trying to kill me?" The victim looked at him with a mixture of incredulity and amusement.
"Maybe. I don't know. My brain might implode if I think too much about it." And there went the sarcastic remark. He paired it up with a sharp turn and long strides across his room. He heard the quiet chuckle and the soft click of the door as it closed. He turned around to face the invader of his safe place. "I don't get you. You say you love me but you go and make me angry at you. Are you on drugs or something?"
"We both know I didn't mean what I said. And it seems to me you've got a rather inexperienced notion of love." Junhyung smirks, a knowing gaze settled on him. Then it was his turn to look incredulously at Junhyung. And before he could have said anything, the other continued to speak. "I'm guessing you're thinking couples should always be nice to each other, understand each other, be all fairytale-like. But you don't get it. That's not how it always is. I do admit that some people really have this kind of relationship. But there are a lot of different dynamics. And each relationship is unique. Ours turns out to be a rather violent one from the looks of my arm."
He glared. Being belittled about love was definitely not what he expected. Of course he knew that falling and being in love isn't all sunshine and lollipops. He's in love with this stalker isn't he? And their relationship is anything but sunshine and lollipops. Just look at the smug guy in front of him and then tell what is so sparkly and full of hearts about them. Of all people to fall for, he falls for this guy. "If your parents weren't here, I would have kicked you out of my room, bastard. Don't try to act all knowing and tell me I don't know anything about love. Frigging womanizer."
He almost flipped his middle finger just for good show but he just sat down on the floor in front of the small television and started playing the video game he prepared. Seriously, he couldn't quite understand himself or the cruel fate of his love life. Meeting this crazy, stupid stalker, then being chased around by said stalker. But the best part is actually falling for that same person and admitting it to himself after being ridiculed on his knowledge of love or his so called lack of it. He had seen enough of people getting together and being in love to know some things about the strange concept everyone is so helplessly craving for.
His character had just brutally murdered the opponent when he felt Junhyung sit down beside him and nudge his arm. He gave a glare, trying to convey that he was most certainly not happy and anyone who does not want to be dead should back off especially the one who pissed him off. Besides, the guy was too close for comfort. And it clicked in his mind what Junhyung was about to do. But no, no amount of kissing would make him less angry. It has absolutely no effect whatsoever. Nope. Zero. Zilch. Nada.
Yes. Yes. Yes. It had an effect. And he cursed himself for it. He cursed kissing for all its magical ways of making people feel better and calmer. He cursed it for feeling so nice. He cursed it for making him want more. He cursed it for making him realize how easy it is for Junhyung to keep on breaking him down. Pair it up with a sincere, piercing look and a breathy "Sorry" fanning over his face and he was melting inside his head. If only he could literally kick himself, then he would have. Instead he was staring dazedly at Junhyung.
"I'm sorry. I didn't think you would get this angry. I just thought that from the way you keep complaining about me teasing you and that being a sign that this isn't love, maybe, maybe you didn't know so much about love. I was getting ahead of myself. I'm sorry Seung."
And there went the final blow to all of his anger. If he hadn't know any better, he'd have said that this man in front of him is manipulating him. And maybe that was true. But he realized something from the other's words. Finally! Something Junhyung didn't know. Something Junhyung wasn't sure about. Something Junhyung hadn't deduced from his stalker hobby. And he smiled.
"Does that mean I'm forgiven? Or did you just come up with the perfect plan of killing me?" His smile widened again. Another thing. "I might go for the latter. And I should probably be backing away now."
Junhyung had got up when he tugged on the other's pants hard enough to pull back down which resulted in a tangle of limbs. After successfully disentangling himself from Junhyung and sitting up straight again, he spoke with earnestness. "I thought for sure you knew me inside out."
Junhyung looked at him surprised then laughed. He frowned. It wasn't his fault this laughing person played the I-know-everything-about-you card extremely well. He waited until Junhyung had stopped laughing and had calmed down to start talking. "You really believed that? I think I probably already mentioned that I'm just good at guessing when it comes to you."
"Well your actions were screaming more of a I-have-stalked-you-for-so-long-there's-nothing-to-hide-anymore kind of vibe. Also an I'm-a-mutant-alien-with-mental-powers-to-read-your-mind kind of vibe. You really can't blame me for thinking that way. It's your fault."
"Yes. It's my fault you don't listen to me."
"Actions speak louder than words. And you said it was easy to follow my train of thought."
"Actions don't always speak louder than words. And if they do, you must already know how much I like you." He didn't have much time to react on that besides gaping slightly and blushing ever so lightly. "I'll say it again. I know about you just as much as I can observe. Yes, it's easy to follow your train of thought sometimes but not all the time. I didn't mean it as if I know what exactly you're thinking because I don't. I guess I've been extremely lucky the last few times. But I won't always know what's going on in that brain of yours. I don't think anyone can."
He punched Junhyung's arm for both that unnecessary comment and the snickering that came after that. "I guess that's true seeing as you didn't know what was going to happen awhile ago. And to answer the question, I wasn't planning on killing you."
"But I'm not yet forgiven. And what was that all about? The womanizer comment. Where did that come from all of a sudden?" The other was looking at him confused and hurt. Ah, he did it now. There was a prick of guilt for saying that off-handed insult. He knew Junhyung wasn't like that but it can't be helped that he knew the person in front of him had that kind of reputation which actually bugged him to no end. Of course, he believed that Junhyung is innocent of such accusations from their peers. It still irks him. And the word had slipped through his mouth just to get a rile out of the other.
"You-I-uhh..." He didn't know what to say. He already had a hard time admitting to himself that he was, maybe, probably, just slightly, jealous of the thought of all those girls with Junhyung. See? He couldn't even admit it straight out. How was he supposed to explain to Junhyung that he had said that out of insecurity? He was insecure. He is insecure. How long will Junhyung be chasing after him before the other is tired? How long will Junhyung keep on saying 'I like you' to him? Will it always be just 'like' when he already admits to himself he loves Junhyung to some extent? How long is this phase before Junhyung starts liking girls again? Is he just supposed to believe that Junhyung has liked him since they were kids and that making moves just recently is because of 'waiting for the right moment'?
There was so much going on inside his head all at the same day, all because of this person staring at him, waiting for him to answer with those eyes. He was insecure. He is insecure. He is afraid. What was he to say to the guy he just admitted to falling for just awhile ago? He panicked. "I don't know! You have that reputation. You tell me!"
One blunder after another. He reprimanded himself for being weak. His guilt must have shown in his face because Junhyung's hand came up to touch his cheek. Although Junhyung's face was serious and the hurt was still there. "I dated one girl at a time. I don't know who came up with that rumor about me womanizing but I was loyal to all those girls. Where was I supposed to pour out all my affection to? The affection that I have for you. I didn't think it was possible for you to reciprocate. As young as I was, I knew this kind of relationship between us isn't taken so lightly and accepted so easily so I went out with the girls that I liked. But as you can see, I'm still hung up on you. When boys started asking you out and you didn't seem to dislike the idea, well I took the chance. But not before talking myself to it for the longest time. I was nervous and scared but I took the chance. I didn't think you would react so badly about me dating girls back then."
"It's not like that." He struggled for words to say, to somehow convey to Junhyung that he really didn't mind all that much. With all that Junhyung said though, his mind was working overload. He could only say, "Is that true? Was all you said true?"
"You think I would lie about something like this?"
"No. No. It's just-you-" He took a breath and whispered. "I'm happy."
"You're...happy?" Junhyung looked at him, surprised and confused. But he wasn't going to answer that because he didn't know why himself. He guessed it was maybe because that just proves this is not a phase. And that somehow maybe proves Junhyung really likes him that much.
"But you're still stupid." He turned the smile that was about to surface into a smirk.
"Just because you finally-" He glared, the emphasis on finally was not appreciated. "-realized that I don't know everything about you nor can I read your mind, doesn't mean you can parade it and think that I won't get to the bottom of it."
He leaned close to Junhyung's face, still smirking. "My thoughts are mine alone, Yong Junhyung."
Click. Both of their heads snapped to his door. And who else would have been there but their mothers. He sighed. How are they supposed to live through this with their parents acting like teenage girls watching a television romance drama? He looked at Junhyung and the same thing was probably going through the other's mind. After their mothers were done chatting and exchanging pictures with each other, they finally announced why they were invading his room.
"Junhyung, we'd better go. We'll see you around, Hyunseung." Junhyung's mother smiled at him. He smiled back.
"Yes, Eomeonim."
Junhyung stood up and walked towards the door, stopping and turning when he got there. "See you tomorrow."
Smirk? Check. Blush? Check. Why? No idea. He was the one who was in control of the situation for the first time and then the tables got turned around just like that? He really couldn't understand it. Junhyung might seriously have some magical powers or something of the sort.
"Oh you are just so cute!" His mother exclaimed with delight. And like that, with him sitting on the floor, Junhyung and his parents had left his house. It was getting later in the afternoon. Was their talk really that long? Maybe, considering how awkward and clueless he was. The rest of Saturday and Sunday went by with all the teasing his parents could get away with, which was a lot considering they were his parents and he couldn't talk back.
His alarm goes off. He sluggishly move towards it, turning it off. He makes his way towards the bathroom, cleaning himself up for the day and dressing into his uniform. He had bad feeling about today. He guesses it's probably because of Junhyung. Even if he likes the guy, there's no denying that a lot of improbable things can happen when with said person. He shakes it off for now and heads to breakfast.
"Good morning." He greets warily.
"Oh good morning Mr. Lovebird." And that's why he's wary. He will never hear the end of it from his mother. He frowns and of course, as usual, his mother chastises him. "Now, now, frowning doesn't fit your pretty face. You wouldn't want Junhyung to see you like that."
"He already has." A lot of times in fact and with different variations, from frowning to glaring. And most of the time, with a punch accompanying it. The food is served and he digs in, choosing to ignore his mother's preaches of smiling for his boyfriend et cetera et cetera. In one ear, out the other. It's a trick most kids use, even adults. But he nods occasionally so that the preaching won't be longer than necessary. And once he finishes his food, he smiles. Not because he internalized what his mother had been saying, but because he's happy he can escape. "I'll be off now."
"Take care, dear. And tell Junhyung, I said hi."
He almost frowns. Almost because he couldn't bear to listen to another tirade from his mother. He mutters an "I will" before grabbing his bag and running off out of the house and into the cold morning air. Winter break is coming soon. Just a week from now and he'll be free of Junhyung stalking him. Although maybe Junhyung would still be stalking him no matter where he goes. Flattering really, but no. He could only imagine the torment he would go through. Fighting with Junhyung, getting flustered because of Junhyung, punching Junhyung, kissing Junhyung. Then a red tint covers his cheeks at the last thought. He might like the last one. Well, he actually likes all of those. But the last one takes the cake. Not that he'd ever say it out loud.
He thinks there are a lot of things he had admitted to himself that he swears he'd never tell. And they are all related to Junhyung. Because it's embarrassing, he would never tell. Not even if he completely falls for Junhyung. Not at all. He swears by that lone, barren tree beside that flickering lamp post over the waiting area. While he's waiting on the bench, he continues to swear to himself and to every object he could see. Maybe swearing it a lot of times to different things would make the swear stronger. Maybe. Well at least by doing so, he prevents himself from realizing and admitting another embarrassing thing to himself about Junhyung. And the bus arrives, carrying said person along with it. He rolls his eyes and pays for the ride, moving towards his usual seat where Junhyung was already waiting.
"Good morning Seung." The person filling his mind greets with a smirk, the trademark smirk that has him feeling both irritated and bubbly inside. He debates on how to reply as he sits down. Should he greet back with a 'Good morning' or not? Before he could think further than that, his head nods and looks out the window as if on auto-pilot. He sighs and merely looks on.
For some reason today, he sees Junhyung's reflection in the glass. The other is frowning and looking ahead. He blinks and narrows his eyes to make sure that what he is seeing is real. And it is. A pang of guilt runs through him. He doesn't know why but he feels as if he's the reason why Junhyung's face is like that. No, he knows he's the reason. He bites his lip. Was it because he didn't greet him properly? But he has always been like that. Maybe Junhyung got fed up with his attitude. He frowns worriedly.
And he tries to push it aside. Pushing and pushing it to the back of his mind. But it's insistent, clawing its way back. In a moment of frustration, he bangs his forehead on the window a little harder than he would have liked. He lets out a soft cry of pain, a hand shooting to his injury. He stops a curse from escaping his lips. But he doesn't stop the string of curses from filling his mind. Whenever Junhyung is concerned, he seems to be getting into trouble more often than he does. He sighs, a little more frustrated.
That is until he feels a hand take his own away from his forehead and his head is turned to face the occupant of the seat beside him, the person invading his mind. He is given a concerned look but those eyes looking at him hold an amused gaze. And he is reminded just how this person had single-handedly crumbled the walls he relentlessly puts up everyday. A blush adorns his cheeks, in both embarrassment of being caught having done such a stupid thing and of being the person under that shiver-inducing look.
"I'm wondering if I'd like to hear what's got you hurting yourself."
He stares, mind still straying from coherent thoughts. Words come out of his mouth without a single thought in articulating himself or constructing an understandable sentence which does not give away his growing obsession of thinking about Junhyung. It's all a weird mix of you, frustration, mind and frown put together in such an incomprehensible way. And when he realizes what he's done with that confused look thrown at him, he gets flustered even more. Eventually whispering, "Good morning", because he can't think with Junhyung like that.
"Uhh...I'm guessing you think I'm upset about you not greeting me properly. Thanks." There's a small smile on Junhyung's lips. That smile he likes. His lack of verbal response gets compensated, begrudgingly, by his abundant facial reaction, namely the phenomenon called blushing. But the smile quickly fades into a frown. "You got me being upset right. And it is about you. But the reason is wrong."
He flinches ever so slightly because he has never liked Junhyung being upset because of him, not even when he's pissed off by Junhyung, not even when he thinks the other is an annoying stalker. He debates on whether to ask what he did wrong but decides against it. He's still playing hard to get, isn't he? And Junhyung being upset because of him shouldn't concern him so much, if that's the case. He tries to act coolly and brush the subject even though it's clear that he's somewhat concerned, now that he's thinking clearly. "What are you talking about? I just wanted to greet you properly because I have manners unlike someone here who doesn't know personal space."
At that moment, he pushes himself away from Junhyung and scoots further to the window, his refuge within the moving vehicle. But again, for some reason today, he sees Junhyung's reflection in the glass and he watches. He watches as Junhyung's frown grows deeper. He watches as Junhyung's eyes bore into him as if Junhyung can see him watching. He watches as Junhyung finally looks away, still with that disappointed look.
He is left to himself again but that no longer holds much meaning. It only brings an onslaught of more thoughts of Junhyung. He could feel the growing guilt in him but he couldn't do anything. He is afraid. What is he afraid of? Falling even more for this person, perhaps. Junhyung has once again proved to understand him a whole lot even after the admittance of not truly, fully understanding him. Is he afraid of that? This person who might be able to understand him more than he can understand himself at times. Isn't that a good thing for a potential lover? But what does he understand about Junhyung? It seems so one way, this relationship they have, whatever it may be because there is no naming to this unique spark going on between them.
A slight prick on his chest surfaces when he thinks about how it seems so unfair for him to only take and take from Junhyung, for only Junhyung to be understanding and giving between the two of them. No matter what this relationship is, he feels as if he should do something for Junhyung. Unequal. That is what this relationship is at the moment. And he's resolved to turn it to the opposite because he knows and he believes that whether or not Junhyung pisses him off, still, the other should be treated kinder than what he's been doing. Especially after all those punches which he knows are hard, to say the least.
Yet, what is he to do? Every time an opportunity to be nice to Junhyung arises, he completely messes up. It's as if there's an internal automatic switch where even the simplest thought of greeting the other nicely turns it on and makes him blurt out unnecessarily harsh words. And the hard-to-get card is still being played. What is he to do? He thinks and thinks. He thinks of how to show Junhyung that he does care even just a little bit. He thinks of how to show Junhyung he doesn't always mean to be harsh that it's just how he is and how he is used to acting. He thinks of how to show Junhyung that he does like the other even just a little bit. He thinks of how to show Junhyung he doesn't act that way to push the other further but because he's embarrassed and doesn't know what to do. He thinks and thinks. But nothing comes to mind that would help.
And so the rest of the bus ride is in awkward silence, suffocating silence. In this silence, he is aware of how much longer it is to their stop, how much space there is between them, how much his hands are fiddling the straps of his bag. He is aware of how much he wants the feel of Junhyung's warm hand in his just to calm him down because fiddling isn't working anymore. He fights the urge to reach out to Junhyung. He's worried. He cares. He likes Junhyung. But he isn't about to depend on Junhyung just yet. He fights the urge to leap in joy as their stop comes and he is out of the bus, Junhyung walking ahead of him, not looking back. He's worried. He cares. He likes Junhyung. But he isn't about to run to Junhyung just yet. He lets Junhyung walk further and further away from him.
For once, his friends aren't there to greet him. He finds it odd not to see them, at least one of them, there. He looks around to see if they were only busy with something and did not notice him already there. No one. He sees no one so he walks dejectedly. Even if he wasn't going to tell them his current predicament, he would have wanted their company at least. He sighs, head hanging low. A few more steps and he bumps into someone. He looks up to apologize and finds Seunghyun staring at him. How the hell? He thought for sure he had looked thoroughly through his surroundings awhile back.
"You should watch where you're going, no matter how depressed you are." He receives a flick to his injured forehead and winces.
"I'll try keeping that in mind, hyung. Where are the others?"
Seunghyung points to his back, "Just talking to someone."
He tries to take a peak at whoever poor soul it is they're scaring now, or rather Jiyong is scaring, but he couldn't find them in sight. That's weird. Maybe they're hidden. He shrugs and looks at Seunghyun again. "Why aren't you with them?"
"My task is you." A smirk plays on the other's lips and he raises an eyebrow, confused. Him? That couldn't mean anything good. When there is something like this, it doesn't spell out good in any dictionary out there in the universe. How should he escape this? No. The real question is if he can.
"Me? Why?"
"We were thinking of hanging out after class. It's not a yes or no question, by the way." Of course he already knows it was a statement meant for him to follow. He sighs, shaking his head with a slight smile. His friends never do change. And that's what's so good about them. He could always count on them, even if they revolve at different worlds at times.
"When have I ever had a choice? Where are we going later?" He asks more about their little outing since it's a good distraction from his predicament. They continue their conversation as they walk down the hallways, not pausing to look at the people staring or double-taking.
"Jiyong's place." He stops mid-step. He loves them and all but Jiyong's place spells the most dangerous place to be when left with them. All sorts of wonders take place in that apartment that cannot be mentioned due to embarrassment and censor for underage kids. He turns his head dramatically to his companion, eyes pleading.
"You aren't serious, are you, hyung?"
"It's already been decided. His parents aren't coming to visit either." Damn. Not only is it Jiyong's apartment but there's no parental supervision either. Most dangerous mix known to man. Why was Jiyong, that living-the-heck-out-of-life guy, given an apartment again? Oh yes. The old far-away-house-just-buy-an-apartment-close-by reason. He's only ever been there a few times and he's always made sure Jiyong's parents were there after that one time which he honestly will never speak the details of ever again.
Seunghyun merely gives him an amused look and walks away with a 'See you later'. He is left to wallow in more depression than he had when he was in the bus. What has he done to deserve this? He's been finding himself asking that lately. And to make matters worse, he rams himself into his locker. His body had taken him to his locker but had forgotten to stop. Triple pain on the forehead for today plus the whole of his body.
He ignores the stares and whispers thrown his way. What use are those to his injured body? Is this payment for him punching Junhyung's arm? Because if it is, then he swears on every single person and every single thing in the school he won't ever punch Junhyung's arm again. He takes the things he needs for the day and heads off to his classroom which he didn't forget is Junhyung's classroom as well. And once again, he gets the feeling of anxiousness, not knowing if Junhyung would give the little presents he gets every morning. He's done it again and even if last time, Junhyung had still given him something, he doubts the other would this time around. Because he bets he has screwed up so badly.
He walks in and though he's anxious, his eyes immediately settle on his table where a white flower lay beside a paper airplane. A mixture of feelings wash over him as he stands there, rooted on the spot. He's relieved. He's embarrassed. He's falling more and more. But most importantly, he's so much more sorry and so much more guilty. He drags his feet towards his table, careful not to make eye contact or even get a glimpse of Junhyung. He doesn't know what he might do if that happens. He can't trust himself or his trained instincts. Yes, trained. His auto-pilot mode has already been fixed by him to make other people go away. He's kind of regretting it now that Junhyung's at the receiving end.
He sits down and slowly takes the white flower with painstaking care. He's not a genius on flowers so he doesn't know what it is but he likes it. It's so beautiful. His lips turn upwards in a small smile full of joy and love. Here is a flower, a gift, in the midst of their misunderstanding. How can he not fall for the guy who, despite being hurt by him, will continue to shower him with kindness and affection? How can he not fall for the guy who is always striving hard to stay by his side? How can he not fall for the guy who, despite teasing him, cares and understands him more than anyone else? How can he not fall for Junhyung? He holds the flower close to his heart with one hand while the other reaches out to the paper airplane, unfolding it and revealing the contents.
White Chrysanthemum
He blinks and looks at the flower. So it's a white chrysanthemum. There's probably some meaning behind it and he fears knowing it. What could it be? Does it mean Junhyung is giving up? His face pales in dread and bites his lip, eyes looking imploringly at the flower as if begging it not to mean that way. The bell rings and he places the chrysanthemum gently at the edge of his table, just enough not to bother his note-taking but not so much that it would fall. He folds the paper airplane neatly and puts it in his bag.