20th Shoe of Baileys - Phone
Old Gregg all heard you all bitchin' and whining about bears recently. So you know what Old Gregg gonna do? He gonna do you a favor, yes sir. Old Gregg gonna give you some good old advice.
Old Gregg gonna tell you how to kill a bear.
Now see, you gonna first need to get you something like a big, long stick case things go sour at first. Then, what you gonna want to do is this. You gonna find a bathtub first, alright? You all gotta make sure you got that. Then you gonna fill that bathtub with honey, some urine, and treesap, and you gonna need to fill it to about at least the halfway mark cause you gonna be soaking in that shit for awhile.
After 'bout a hour of soaking, when that smell all in you, you gonna take your stick and you gonna head off to wherever the bear is. Now, when you see the bear, he gonna like you cause you smell like him. Yes sir. That's what bears smell like: honey and urine with a little treesap. So that Mr. Bear, he all just gonna lumber over towards you thinking you another bear friend cause bears just have eyes for show. They're actually blind as shit, yes sir. And so, you just gonna let that big old bear sniff at you for awhile.
And when he doing that? You just jam that motherlickin' stick into his ear as far as it goes and try to pierce his beary brain. Now that might not kill him immediately if you don't got a long or big enough of one, so you're probably gonna need to tear it's throat out if it's still standing. Old Gregg prefers using his teeth for that, helps give Old Gregg an extra meal.
And that all how you kill a bear. You all welcome.
Old Gregg gonna tell you how to kill a bear.
Now see, you gonna first need to get you something like a big, long stick case things go sour at first. Then, what you gonna want to do is this. You gonna find a bathtub first, alright? You all gotta make sure you got that. Then you gonna fill that bathtub with honey, some urine, and treesap, and you gonna need to fill it to about at least the halfway mark cause you gonna be soaking in that shit for awhile.
After 'bout a hour of soaking, when that smell all in you, you gonna take your stick and you gonna head off to wherever the bear is. Now, when you see the bear, he gonna like you cause you smell like him. Yes sir. That's what bears smell like: honey and urine with a little treesap. So that Mr. Bear, he all just gonna lumber over towards you thinking you another bear friend cause bears just have eyes for show. They're actually blind as shit, yes sir. And so, you just gonna let that big old bear sniff at you for awhile.
And when he doing that? You just jam that motherlickin' stick into his ear as far as it goes and try to pierce his beary brain. Now that might not kill him immediately if you don't got a long or big enough of one, so you're probably gonna need to tear it's throat out if it's still standing. Old Gregg prefers using his teeth for that, helps give Old Gregg an extra meal.
And that all how you kill a bear. You all welcome.