(no subject)
Mum has come back from Brazil now. Even though I was really happy to see her, it felt like everything changed as soon as she walked into the house. As soon as she was back in the house it was like everything was back to normal, but not in a good way.
I was saying to Barbara how I think this year might have been the coldest and hottest year I can remember in a long time. I seriously can't remember ever feeling colder during winter, or sweatier and grosser during summer. I only realised recently that the reason I feel this way is probably because I don't feel at home in my own home anymore. It was probably always this cold and hot before but I never noticed it because I liked living here so much. But now I can't stand it. Not only am I too old to be here, but the atmosphere of this place (when Mum and Dad are both here) is toxic.
As soon as mum came back in I felt it again. I'm in a house with one parent who can't stand the other and one that's trying desperately to hold on for the wrong reasons. I feel like for a while we made a positive step and now it's all come crashing down again. I need to get out of here, and I can't even afford a new pair of jeans. I no longer have any pants that are suitable to wear outside the house because all of them are frayed and filled with holes.
I was saying to Barbara how I think this year might have been the coldest and hottest year I can remember in a long time. I seriously can't remember ever feeling colder during winter, or sweatier and grosser during summer. I only realised recently that the reason I feel this way is probably because I don't feel at home in my own home anymore. It was probably always this cold and hot before but I never noticed it because I liked living here so much. But now I can't stand it. Not only am I too old to be here, but the atmosphere of this place (when Mum and Dad are both here) is toxic.
As soon as mum came back in I felt it again. I'm in a house with one parent who can't stand the other and one that's trying desperately to hold on for the wrong reasons. I feel like for a while we made a positive step and now it's all come crashing down again. I need to get out of here, and I can't even afford a new pair of jeans. I no longer have any pants that are suitable to wear outside the house because all of them are frayed and filled with holes.