God, Cars, Princesses and Frogs.
I had a big argument with mum today about money and God. As most of you know I’ve been giving my parents a lot of money over the last year to help out with food and petrol, and I’ve been paying some of the bills as well. It’s perfectly understandable seeing as Dad was unemployed for most of last year. But now he’s employed, and though he isn’t making as much money as he was before, he’s still making money. Mum is always asking me for money because 70% of her money goes straight towards bills and the other percent into a joint bank account which Dad is basically in charge of - much to her dislike. This week I happened to find myself unceremoniously broke. I said I was sorry, but I didn’t even have enough money for myself, let alone anyone else. But I told her I would help her learn how to internet bank (she’s a total technophobe) and get her own bank account, which is something she’s been wanting to do for ages.
And then she started with the God stuff. God hadn’t told her to get her own account, so she shouldn’t have been thinking about it. She had to pray about it first. If the internet banking thing was supposed to happen it would just happen. I suggested that maybe we could have gotten a moneybox to store loose change and save money for when she needed it. She made up some kind of God-related excuse. I told her that if she wanted to be able to spend her own money, she should get up and do something about it instead of just praying. She said that praying IS doing something about it. And then I got shitty.
I told her in that Bethesda (the Christian Primary School I went to from year four to year seven) they told us that God helps those who help themselves. She said that Bethesda had it wrong and that God can provide anything. I said what about expecting good grades from prayer instead of studying, or expecting to win the lottery without even buying a ticket. She brought up the car thing.
The car thing is something I had long repressed from my memory, and even thinking about it makes me angry.
You see we went through this point in my childhood where money was really tight and we had to sell mum’s car, leaving us with only Dad’s car. Both my parents had jobs, and Mum told me every day that it was a matter of time before God sent her a new car. As I was a little kid at the time I believed her. I then had to catch the bus to school every day, rain or shine. My school was around half an hour away from home. At first it didn’t bother me because Mum had told me we’d get a new car soon. A few months went by and we still didn’t have a car. I asked her when we’d be getting a new car. She said soon. Another few months went by and I asked again. She said soon.
Later on I found out that she hadn’t even been saving money for one. I asked her why, and she said that God would give her one, and that God wasn’t telling her to save money so she shouldn’t. This was one of the first moments I recall as a child thinking that maybe grown-ups didn’t know everything. Four years went by. I caught the school bus to school every day, but wasn’t allowed to catch the public bus on my own (which is understandable I suppose). This meant that if mum and dad were both working, I wasn’t able to go to friends’ birthday parties or McDonalds or the movies like other kids. Eventually after four long years we managed to afford another one, and mum to this day tells the story as though it’s an inspirational story of faith and reward. I tell it as a story of my mother being a moron who put her kids through hell for four years because ‘God’ didn’t give her permission to save money like a goddamn adult.
That’s when I started thinking about the newest Disney movie ‘The Princess and the Frog’. When I watched it I was sitting there thinking how cute it was and how great it was to see 2D Disney again. But it was only after this argument with my mum that I realised how freaking significant this movie is, especially to little girls. The main character Tiana is a strong and independent woman with a dream of owning a restaurant. As a kid she wants to wish on a star for it, but her parents tell her that the star can only take her part of the way, and that if she really wants it she has to work for it. So unlike the other Disney princesses, Tiana doesn’t sit around wishing on stars. She grows up and works day and night saving money in order to make her own dream come true, and she never gives up on it, ever.
I spent my whole childhood and most of my teen years thinking that if something was meant to happen, it would just happen. Because that’s what I’ve been brought up to believe. It’s only now that I’ve grown up that I see that you have to make it happen yourself. I kind of wish that someone had told me that as a kid, which is one of the reasons that I’m really happy that this generation of little girls is growing up with movies like ‘The Princess and the Frog’. You can’t learn to drive without stepping into a car.
And then she started with the God stuff. God hadn’t told her to get her own account, so she shouldn’t have been thinking about it. She had to pray about it first. If the internet banking thing was supposed to happen it would just happen. I suggested that maybe we could have gotten a moneybox to store loose change and save money for when she needed it. She made up some kind of God-related excuse. I told her that if she wanted to be able to spend her own money, she should get up and do something about it instead of just praying. She said that praying IS doing something about it. And then I got shitty.
I told her in that Bethesda (the Christian Primary School I went to from year four to year seven) they told us that God helps those who help themselves. She said that Bethesda had it wrong and that God can provide anything. I said what about expecting good grades from prayer instead of studying, or expecting to win the lottery without even buying a ticket. She brought up the car thing.
The car thing is something I had long repressed from my memory, and even thinking about it makes me angry.
You see we went through this point in my childhood where money was really tight and we had to sell mum’s car, leaving us with only Dad’s car. Both my parents had jobs, and Mum told me every day that it was a matter of time before God sent her a new car. As I was a little kid at the time I believed her. I then had to catch the bus to school every day, rain or shine. My school was around half an hour away from home. At first it didn’t bother me because Mum had told me we’d get a new car soon. A few months went by and we still didn’t have a car. I asked her when we’d be getting a new car. She said soon. Another few months went by and I asked again. She said soon.
Later on I found out that she hadn’t even been saving money for one. I asked her why, and she said that God would give her one, and that God wasn’t telling her to save money so she shouldn’t. This was one of the first moments I recall as a child thinking that maybe grown-ups didn’t know everything. Four years went by. I caught the school bus to school every day, but wasn’t allowed to catch the public bus on my own (which is understandable I suppose). This meant that if mum and dad were both working, I wasn’t able to go to friends’ birthday parties or McDonalds or the movies like other kids. Eventually after four long years we managed to afford another one, and mum to this day tells the story as though it’s an inspirational story of faith and reward. I tell it as a story of my mother being a moron who put her kids through hell for four years because ‘God’ didn’t give her permission to save money like a goddamn adult.
That’s when I started thinking about the newest Disney movie ‘The Princess and the Frog’. When I watched it I was sitting there thinking how cute it was and how great it was to see 2D Disney again. But it was only after this argument with my mum that I realised how freaking significant this movie is, especially to little girls. The main character Tiana is a strong and independent woman with a dream of owning a restaurant. As a kid she wants to wish on a star for it, but her parents tell her that the star can only take her part of the way, and that if she really wants it she has to work for it. So unlike the other Disney princesses, Tiana doesn’t sit around wishing on stars. She grows up and works day and night saving money in order to make her own dream come true, and she never gives up on it, ever.
I spent my whole childhood and most of my teen years thinking that if something was meant to happen, it would just happen. Because that’s what I’ve been brought up to believe. It’s only now that I’ve grown up that I see that you have to make it happen yourself. I kind of wish that someone had told me that as a kid, which is one of the reasons that I’m really happy that this generation of little girls is growing up with movies like ‘The Princess and the Frog’. You can’t learn to drive without stepping into a car.