Diary of a showgirl - Day two
How does one survive a ridiculously long shift? And by a ridiculously long shift I mean thirteen hours with two very short breaks.
Lately I've been doing this:
-Singing Bohemian Rhapsody from beginning to end whenever I don't have a customer towards the end of the day. I know Bohemian Rhapsody goes for roughly six minutes.
-Pacing backwards and forwards. I know I shouldn't do that but it really does make my feet hurt less when I'm moving. I don't do it when customers are walking past though.
-Having impure thoughts about the most random people, ranging from the dorky guy with a british smile who works at the back and sometimes the weird-looking customers. They're really long shifts.
-Trying to mentally quote Aladdin from beginning to end. I could do it you know.
-Bounce the display basketballs that come inside the showbags. Not allowed to do that anymore.
-Picturing everything still and in slow motion.
-Repeat "I'm doing this for the money, I'm doing this for the money, I'm doing this for the money" every time my feet start to feel like they're going to start bleeding.
And here are some other things.
Basically this morning I was thinking "Well shit I have another nine AM to nine thirty PM shift today, but it turns out I'm starting at eleven. Hoorah! My feet are still hurting a little from yesterday but I'm so glad I'll be able to rest them for two extra hours. :)
A highlight of my day yesterday was when this British dad was talking to his little boy, asking him which Spiderman showbag he wanted.
British dad: Do you want that one?
British boy: That one?
British dad: Do you want that one?
British boy: I want that one!
Me: *grinning insanely*
British dad: You want that one?
British boy: I want that one!
Me: You want that one?
British boy: I want that one!
Me: *trying not to laugh* I'm so sorry, I'm loving this. Just the fact that you've both got British accents and keep repeating "I want that one!". I'm a huge fan of Little Britain.
British dad: *cracks up*
Me: Okay, so I'll get you the Spiderman novelty showbag.
British dad: You sure you want that one?
Me: *cracking up*
British dad: You want that one? You sure you want that one?
OH YEAH AND THERE WAS THIS REALLY BITCHY LADY YESTERDAY WHO MADE ME WANT TO PUNCH HER.
Let me ask you this, my fellow peoples - If you see a register and somebody being served on that register, do you form a line behind that person or just stand where you are hoping to get served? BECAUSE IF YOU DO, WE CAN'T SEE YOU. THEREFORE YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO GO: "OI! AM I GONNA GET SERVED!? I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AGES HERE!!!" while giving me the death stare.
Because those people really test my patience. I say "Oh I'm so sorry, yes I'll serve you right away" but when I turn my back I'm cursing you under my breath and fantasising about punching you in the face! :)
Hath not a retail assistant eyes? If you cut us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh?
Lately I've been doing this:
-Singing Bohemian Rhapsody from beginning to end whenever I don't have a customer towards the end of the day. I know Bohemian Rhapsody goes for roughly six minutes.
-Pacing backwards and forwards. I know I shouldn't do that but it really does make my feet hurt less when I'm moving. I don't do it when customers are walking past though.
-Having impure thoughts about the most random people, ranging from the dorky guy with a british smile who works at the back and sometimes the weird-looking customers. They're really long shifts.
-Trying to mentally quote Aladdin from beginning to end. I could do it you know.
-Bounce the display basketballs that come inside the showbags. Not allowed to do that anymore.
-Picturing everything still and in slow motion.
-Repeat "I'm doing this for the money, I'm doing this for the money, I'm doing this for the money" every time my feet start to feel like they're going to start bleeding.
And here are some other things.
Basically this morning I was thinking "Well shit I have another nine AM to nine thirty PM shift today, but it turns out I'm starting at eleven. Hoorah! My feet are still hurting a little from yesterday but I'm so glad I'll be able to rest them for two extra hours. :)
A highlight of my day yesterday was when this British dad was talking to his little boy, asking him which Spiderman showbag he wanted.
British dad: Do you want that one?
British boy: That one?
British dad: Do you want that one?
British boy: I want that one!
Me: *grinning insanely*
British dad: You want that one?
British boy: I want that one!
Me: You want that one?
British boy: I want that one!
Me: *trying not to laugh* I'm so sorry, I'm loving this. Just the fact that you've both got British accents and keep repeating "I want that one!". I'm a huge fan of Little Britain.
British dad: *cracks up*
Me: Okay, so I'll get you the Spiderman novelty showbag.
British dad: You sure you want that one?
Me: *cracking up*
British dad: You want that one? You sure you want that one?
OH YEAH AND THERE WAS THIS REALLY BITCHY LADY YESTERDAY WHO MADE ME WANT TO PUNCH HER.
Let me ask you this, my fellow peoples - If you see a register and somebody being served on that register, do you form a line behind that person or just stand where you are hoping to get served? BECAUSE IF YOU DO, WE CAN'T SEE YOU. THEREFORE YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO GO: "OI! AM I GONNA GET SERVED!? I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AGES HERE!!!" while giving me the death stare.
Because those people really test my patience. I say "Oh I'm so sorry, yes I'll serve you right away" but when I turn my back I'm cursing you under my breath and fantasising about punching you in the face! :)
Hath not a retail assistant eyes? If you cut us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh?