Indians and Fireworks
This past week has been very relaxing. Almost too relaxing. My brother has been staying at my dad's place all week, so only my mother and I have been home with the dog, Nelly. While it's been most pleasantly restful, I've also found myself fretting over the rest of my life because, you know, it's time to get on that.
First, I need to consider graduate school. It's either that or a job right out of college this coming May, and if I elect to do graduate school I need to have real plans in the next month. After some letters and reflection, I'm rather sure that I want a masters in public policy and, even later, a doctorate in constitutional law. Academics are one of my strongest passions, and I want to use them to get myself back into Cleveland. Sorry, Josh and Feowyn, I did lie to you back in January when I said I didn't want to get involved in politics - in some form or another, I do. Really badly. I want to shape my world.
Second, my family is really in the brink of an entirely new way of being our family. My brother is just a few weeks away from starting school at Eastern Michigan University. My sister landed in Japan a week ago, and as of this past Friday she has her own apartment there. My dad, conceding that there are no opportunities for him here, is looking elsewhere in the USA for some sort of stable and promising employment. My mom, employed and settled in Cleveland, has shuffled everyone around this summer and now gets ready to say goodbye to both of her sons as they leave for their respective universities. She has Nelly to keep her company.
Tonight I went to the Indians game (we won, go figure) with three highschool friends. After the game, there was a fireworks show that exploded along to MoTown music. Watching the fireworks, I was reminded of watching the fireworks from the balcony of the Ecole Militaire in Paris on Bastille Day. That was a magical experience, and I caught myself wanting some of that magic there in Jacob's Field. There would be a lot of ways to improve the fireworks, like having my entire family there, having a boyfriend there, or... Then it occurred to me that being at Jacon's Field with those three guys was very nearly every bit as "magical" as Bastille Day was because I was with three very good guys whom I love and miss and see irregularly every year.
So now I'm at home, Friday night, looking at schools online and talking to two very dearly missed friends. I've been here and there mentally all week. I'm not in any rush to get back down to Xavier yet - in all my rest and pondering, there is still unfinished business (so if I die now, does that mean I become a ghost?). But I really feel like this is the first time in a long time that I'm ready to move on, even charge forward, though life is so much more complicated this time.
First, I need to consider graduate school. It's either that or a job right out of college this coming May, and if I elect to do graduate school I need to have real plans in the next month. After some letters and reflection, I'm rather sure that I want a masters in public policy and, even later, a doctorate in constitutional law. Academics are one of my strongest passions, and I want to use them to get myself back into Cleveland. Sorry, Josh and Feowyn, I did lie to you back in January when I said I didn't want to get involved in politics - in some form or another, I do. Really badly. I want to shape my world.
Second, my family is really in the brink of an entirely new way of being our family. My brother is just a few weeks away from starting school at Eastern Michigan University. My sister landed in Japan a week ago, and as of this past Friday she has her own apartment there. My dad, conceding that there are no opportunities for him here, is looking elsewhere in the USA for some sort of stable and promising employment. My mom, employed and settled in Cleveland, has shuffled everyone around this summer and now gets ready to say goodbye to both of her sons as they leave for their respective universities. She has Nelly to keep her company.
Tonight I went to the Indians game (we won, go figure) with three highschool friends. After the game, there was a fireworks show that exploded along to MoTown music. Watching the fireworks, I was reminded of watching the fireworks from the balcony of the Ecole Militaire in Paris on Bastille Day. That was a magical experience, and I caught myself wanting some of that magic there in Jacob's Field. There would be a lot of ways to improve the fireworks, like having my entire family there, having a boyfriend there, or... Then it occurred to me that being at Jacon's Field with those three guys was very nearly every bit as "magical" as Bastille Day was because I was with three very good guys whom I love and miss and see irregularly every year.
So now I'm at home, Friday night, looking at schools online and talking to two very dearly missed friends. I've been here and there mentally all week. I'm not in any rush to get back down to Xavier yet - in all my rest and pondering, there is still unfinished business (so if I die now, does that mean I become a ghost?). But I really feel like this is the first time in a long time that I'm ready to move on, even charge forward, though life is so much more complicated this time.