No one said it had to make sense...
If there’s one thing I hate more than anything…
It’s coming home to this quite, empty place for the 5th night in a row.
I can’t even remember the last night I didn’t cry myself to sleep.
The deep, calm cry that just comes without hesitation.
Lately I have to admit I am just a genuinely sad person.
But you wouldn’t know it…because I am so damn good at hiding it.
Then again that’s all I have done for the past 2 years.
I hide behind secrets, lies, disappointments.
I don’t even know how to be myself anymore.
Hiding is all I know, deceiving all others of who I really am.
And that’s fine, I’d prefer people not know the less appealing me.
I can only hold this in for so long.
Time is wearing thin and I’m losing strength.
Things are catching up, confusions are becoming more clear.
The man I thought I could trust has ripped all hope out of my body.
That girl I once found so incredible is now an indescribable disappointment…
& this music makes it hurt much, much more.
This boy has become a ghost that haunts my every thought.
I dread even falling asleep, knowing a dream will leave me waking up in tears.
My best friend is abusing my “kindness.”
He seems to enjoy bragging about his amazing relationship with a whore as I sit there clenching my fist and struggling to hold in harsh words.
I love the kid to death but god forbid he have mercy on my aching heart.
I have become to good at the art of false emotions.
I wish I had someone to see through me, to know me that well, to understand why I do what I do, and why I have done the thing’s I have done.
He’s with her. She’s with him… and even if they aren’t together, they’re thinking about each other.
I want that…but I honestly don’t.
I want to wait, I want to give it time.
I need to be alone, I need to see I can be okay on my own.
But it’s not getting any easier and these weeks are so tough to sit out in loneliness.
I have to do all I can to distract myself from times like these…
When I sit at home depressed thinking about anywhere else I could be, because anywhere would be better than here.
Don’t think I don’t know who you are, this mirror reflects only your bare skin.
At this moment I am happier than ever…really?!
It’s coming home to this quite, empty place for the 5th night in a row.
I can’t even remember the last night I didn’t cry myself to sleep.
The deep, calm cry that just comes without hesitation.
Lately I have to admit I am just a genuinely sad person.
But you wouldn’t know it…because I am so damn good at hiding it.
Then again that’s all I have done for the past 2 years.
I hide behind secrets, lies, disappointments.
I don’t even know how to be myself anymore.
Hiding is all I know, deceiving all others of who I really am.
And that’s fine, I’d prefer people not know the less appealing me.
I can only hold this in for so long.
Time is wearing thin and I’m losing strength.
Things are catching up, confusions are becoming more clear.
The man I thought I could trust has ripped all hope out of my body.
That girl I once found so incredible is now an indescribable disappointment…
& this music makes it hurt much, much more.
This boy has become a ghost that haunts my every thought.
I dread even falling asleep, knowing a dream will leave me waking up in tears.
My best friend is abusing my “kindness.”
He seems to enjoy bragging about his amazing relationship with a whore as I sit there clenching my fist and struggling to hold in harsh words.
I love the kid to death but god forbid he have mercy on my aching heart.
I have become to good at the art of false emotions.
I wish I had someone to see through me, to know me that well, to understand why I do what I do, and why I have done the thing’s I have done.
He’s with her. She’s with him… and even if they aren’t together, they’re thinking about each other.
I want that…but I honestly don’t.
I want to wait, I want to give it time.
I need to be alone, I need to see I can be okay on my own.
But it’s not getting any easier and these weeks are so tough to sit out in loneliness.
I have to do all I can to distract myself from times like these…
When I sit at home depressed thinking about anywhere else I could be, because anywhere would be better than here.
Don’t think I don’t know who you are, this mirror reflects only your bare skin.
At this moment I am happier than ever…really?!