care & respect
I feel a bit bad for being that silent in the last months. There are people out there I care for and some might get the impression that I don't care anymore.
But I do. It's just that I can't care for others first, when I myself need so much to re-do and heal within myself. Please bear with me, okies? ^^
Having my time limited, I try to make my LJ entries meaningful, not using it for everyday stuff. Now I'm writing to inform my friends about what's going on in my life in a more long-term manner and what I'm pondering about at this time about when I have muse to. That doesn't mean that I consider making an entry twice a day or something like that something bad, it's just that I have a different way to make use of this journal and I want you to understand. :)
So, where to begin with?
Care
People keep telling me, that I care too much.
I care too much about people thousands of km's away, people who don't deserve to be cared about, people I don't even know, people who have left me beind ect. ect. ect.
Think about it.
The level of _care_ a creature beholds is part of what defines that being. Some care more, some care less... it's up to ourselves how much we care about stuff around us. It's not our place to judge about what other people care for, even if it's from a care for that person itself. I know this will cause me to be hurt sometimes, but I'm aware of it. I chosed so, for the alternative seems much more unwanted in my eyes.
Some people are already overwhelmed in caring about themselves alone. They can't care for others, too. They need help, wheather they are aware of it or not. What do they do, if no one shares his or her care?
I don't consider myself a genius when it comes to help others with there problems, but at least, I try. I offer my help, my time.... I _care_ I cannot drive past someone with a broken car without offering help. It takes me a lot to ignore people in obvious need of help, even if I myself am in need of help(Ask Nel if you don't belive that).
Sometimes, life throws tons of shit in our directions. Life is like that, you know: an eternal switch between happy times and sad times, hope and dispair. Not few become bitter in their lives, and even though I can understand that, being bitter myself, too at times, I'm not willing to give up my level of care.
You cannot fight cold and bitterness with more ignorance and egoism. But you can draw a line of kindness and understanding, at where the bitterness of this world ends.
I value the little care I have left to spend for someone else then me and I'll defend that little amount of care at all cost.
Imagine where this world could be, if everybody would have some care left to spend...
Of course, that doesn't mean that caring for others should lead you into a kind of self-destruction mode. Some people consider it weakness and they can make life hell for you if you're not able to defend yourself. (They're not evil or something, they just don't know better)
Maybe, that's one of the tricks in life: staying kind, even tho you're neck deep in the shit. ^^
I know people who can do that, and they deserve respekt.
There are days I myself fail to deserve that respekt, miserably, even. But that's no reason to not try again the following day.
At this point, there is something more I'd like to say, for I think it'd fit in and I do think about for months... even years now. It's something related to the whole furry/otherkin/were (you name it...) community.
A lot of us have a very negative attitude towards mankind as a whole.
We see what humans to with other creatures and with each other. Most of us feel misunderstood by human society, forced to keep parts of our deepest dreams and desires hidden from public in fear to be discovered and blamed, imprisoned or even worse.
Most people from the communities mentioned above have "kultivated" some kind of inner hatred against mankind, that is so deep within their hearts, It seems there will never be a way to ease and make it vanish.
Please, take a bit time and think about it.
Hate is no good.
Hate will make things worse, always. I've been there, I've seen it.
It's out of question that what humans do is sometimes worth of treating with contempt. Neither the fact that we make mistakes, too does change that (but it's good to keep in mind before you judge), nor the fact that not all humans treat life like shit (Hey, there are more then 6,000,000,000 humans, some of them must be good, statistically! ^^).
I watch with increasing concern how the gap between us and the human society steadily grows. It's not that this kind of attitude is foreign for me, I spent years with anger and hate towards mankind, too. But I came to a point where I had to recognize that this path won't do anything good.
Learn to differ, it helps a lot.
Not all humans seek to destroy. Most don't, actually. TV is full of bad news from all over the world, how desasters strike, humans suffer and no apropiate help. Full of human cruelty and abuse. No wonder you get the impression that everything is evil in time, is it?
My own attitude towards mankind changed in time, from hate over pity to respect.
Wonder why respect? Let me try to explain.
When I'm sad, I kind of connect with my inner self, a part of me my awareness doesn't have full access to. There, I always find the strength to try again, to go on and to stand all the (sorry) fucking shit life has in store for us sometimes. At this place, I keep all things I value in life, every happy memory I made so far. It's my core, that gives me the strength to jump over my own shadow if necessary and fighting down my fears (hope you get the point)
This place is shape-independent for me. I don't see me human there. I have a shape there that meakes me feel free, a freedom no money can buy.
Since I discovered that part of myself, my horizon has spread more I can describe with words in any language I know. The strength I can draw from this place is more then enough to deal with this life... and more.
I belive that in some way, all of us have the potential to connect to such a place, the thing that makes us "not that human" . You can see it as a burden, too. But there is a way, an attitude to turn it around so you see it as a gift, a blessing you can use to draw power from for yourself and still have some left to spare for the people around you.
Now, I look back and wonder what a common human has..... do you see what I want to tell?
It's not about being "better" in any way, skies no. It's about spreading your horizont, opening your mind for things possible that just do not exist otherwise. We ourselves decide, what's possible and what not.
Most (most, that word is important here) humans don't have that, but they go on anyways. They find strength in religion (no, by far not all humans are fanatic), their families and friends and no matter how often they get a hard punch from life, they get back up and go on, caring for their kin, keeping countless railstations, airports, cars and all other kinds of machinery stuff intact and taking care of things so our daily lives work... as good as possible.
If that doesn't deserve respect... what else does?
Even if we lose everything, we still have that place we can go within ourselves to reload our strength, the worlds within us can't be taken away, from no one. That's something no human with an avarage human horizon can ever have in this live. Ever.
Keep that in mind, next time you feel annoyed by something a human does.... or when you are sad.
*hugs*
Shira
But I do. It's just that I can't care for others first, when I myself need so much to re-do and heal within myself. Please bear with me, okies? ^^
Having my time limited, I try to make my LJ entries meaningful, not using it for everyday stuff. Now I'm writing to inform my friends about what's going on in my life in a more long-term manner and what I'm pondering about at this time about when I have muse to. That doesn't mean that I consider making an entry twice a day or something like that something bad, it's just that I have a different way to make use of this journal and I want you to understand. :)
So, where to begin with?
Care
People keep telling me, that I care too much.
I care too much about people thousands of km's away, people who don't deserve to be cared about, people I don't even know, people who have left me beind ect. ect. ect.
Think about it.
The level of _care_ a creature beholds is part of what defines that being. Some care more, some care less... it's up to ourselves how much we care about stuff around us. It's not our place to judge about what other people care for, even if it's from a care for that person itself. I know this will cause me to be hurt sometimes, but I'm aware of it. I chosed so, for the alternative seems much more unwanted in my eyes.
Some people are already overwhelmed in caring about themselves alone. They can't care for others, too. They need help, wheather they are aware of it or not. What do they do, if no one shares his or her care?
I don't consider myself a genius when it comes to help others with there problems, but at least, I try. I offer my help, my time.... I _care_ I cannot drive past someone with a broken car without offering help. It takes me a lot to ignore people in obvious need of help, even if I myself am in need of help(Ask Nel if you don't belive that).
Sometimes, life throws tons of shit in our directions. Life is like that, you know: an eternal switch between happy times and sad times, hope and dispair. Not few become bitter in their lives, and even though I can understand that, being bitter myself, too at times, I'm not willing to give up my level of care.
You cannot fight cold and bitterness with more ignorance and egoism. But you can draw a line of kindness and understanding, at where the bitterness of this world ends.
I value the little care I have left to spend for someone else then me and I'll defend that little amount of care at all cost.
Imagine where this world could be, if everybody would have some care left to spend...
Of course, that doesn't mean that caring for others should lead you into a kind of self-destruction mode. Some people consider it weakness and they can make life hell for you if you're not able to defend yourself. (They're not evil or something, they just don't know better)
Maybe, that's one of the tricks in life: staying kind, even tho you're neck deep in the shit. ^^
I know people who can do that, and they deserve respekt.
There are days I myself fail to deserve that respekt, miserably, even. But that's no reason to not try again the following day.
At this point, there is something more I'd like to say, for I think it'd fit in and I do think about for months... even years now. It's something related to the whole furry/otherkin/were (you name it...) community.
A lot of us have a very negative attitude towards mankind as a whole.
We see what humans to with other creatures and with each other. Most of us feel misunderstood by human society, forced to keep parts of our deepest dreams and desires hidden from public in fear to be discovered and blamed, imprisoned or even worse.
Most people from the communities mentioned above have "kultivated" some kind of inner hatred against mankind, that is so deep within their hearts, It seems there will never be a way to ease and make it vanish.
Please, take a bit time and think about it.
Hate is no good.
Hate will make things worse, always. I've been there, I've seen it.
It's out of question that what humans do is sometimes worth of treating with contempt. Neither the fact that we make mistakes, too does change that (but it's good to keep in mind before you judge), nor the fact that not all humans treat life like shit (Hey, there are more then 6,000,000,000 humans, some of them must be good, statistically! ^^).
I watch with increasing concern how the gap between us and the human society steadily grows. It's not that this kind of attitude is foreign for me, I spent years with anger and hate towards mankind, too. But I came to a point where I had to recognize that this path won't do anything good.
Learn to differ, it helps a lot.
Not all humans seek to destroy. Most don't, actually. TV is full of bad news from all over the world, how desasters strike, humans suffer and no apropiate help. Full of human cruelty and abuse. No wonder you get the impression that everything is evil in time, is it?
My own attitude towards mankind changed in time, from hate over pity to respect.
Wonder why respect? Let me try to explain.
When I'm sad, I kind of connect with my inner self, a part of me my awareness doesn't have full access to. There, I always find the strength to try again, to go on and to stand all the (sorry) fucking shit life has in store for us sometimes. At this place, I keep all things I value in life, every happy memory I made so far. It's my core, that gives me the strength to jump over my own shadow if necessary and fighting down my fears (hope you get the point)
This place is shape-independent for me. I don't see me human there. I have a shape there that meakes me feel free, a freedom no money can buy.
Since I discovered that part of myself, my horizon has spread more I can describe with words in any language I know. The strength I can draw from this place is more then enough to deal with this life... and more.
I belive that in some way, all of us have the potential to connect to such a place, the thing that makes us "not that human" . You can see it as a burden, too. But there is a way, an attitude to turn it around so you see it as a gift, a blessing you can use to draw power from for yourself and still have some left to spare for the people around you.
Now, I look back and wonder what a common human has..... do you see what I want to tell?
It's not about being "better" in any way, skies no. It's about spreading your horizont, opening your mind for things possible that just do not exist otherwise. We ourselves decide, what's possible and what not.
Most (most, that word is important here) humans don't have that, but they go on anyways. They find strength in religion (no, by far not all humans are fanatic), their families and friends and no matter how often they get a hard punch from life, they get back up and go on, caring for their kin, keeping countless railstations, airports, cars and all other kinds of machinery stuff intact and taking care of things so our daily lives work... as good as possible.
If that doesn't deserve respect... what else does?
Even if we lose everything, we still have that place we can go within ourselves to reload our strength, the worlds within us can't be taken away, from no one. That's something no human with an avarage human horizon can ever have in this live. Ever.
Keep that in mind, next time you feel annoyed by something a human does.... or when you are sad.
*hugs*
Shira