too long
so life has been kinda sucky lately : / i hate winter more than ever and i just want spring break to happen so i can be home. i've been bummed since the weekend because of the evil snowstorm that envoked its wrath on new jersey. it figures that something as uncontrolable as that would keep me from going home to see brian. so i missed his birthday.... i dont think i've forgiven myself for that yet despite the fact that it wasnt in my power to do anything about it. i did however try to use the bus or the train but the transfers and fees would have been astronomical.... the world hates me and i believe until spring blooms upon the garden state, the feeling will remain mutual.
YET- yet..... in 2 days, 2 dragging, grueling days.... i will see him ! ^-^ i hope to god he is not sick and dead though or else i'll feell horrible :(. but i just wanna see him. but he is going to drive down here for the night and then bring me back on saturday so i can get my car back (my poor fat baby). it has been too long though... 2 weeks was bad enough but now its about 3 weeks since i last saw him and i dont like it. i know now from this i'm going to be going home much more. it hurt to not be able to be there if he needs me and its hard knowing that whenever i feel like i need to hold him, or kiss him, be in his arms, or to listen- the phone is my companion instead of him. and although i love my new phone, there's no comparison. i need brian- plain and simple. i need to be able to have the option of seeing him whenever we want to see each other. i've learned from this that there really is a two week maximum to not see each other and even that is stretching it in my opinion. i dont like it anymore... and i want to go home. i dont want to miss anything while missing him.
<3
"i think i must have known you
in another life
i think our rocking chairs
used to rock together all night
with pictures of owls
all over the walls
tiny ships in bottles
they won't sail too far"