Avatar -- there are spoilers. Deal with it.
Monday, I went and saw Space Marines Vs. Night Elves Avatar.
I realize it's been doing very well at the box office, yet I was only sort of impressed. I mean, it WAS pretty. I will give it that.
Things I liked about Pochantas Twisted A Bit And More For Adults Avatar:
I realize it's been doing very well at the box office, yet I was only sort of impressed. I mean, it WAS pretty. I will give it that.
Things I liked about Pochantas Twisted A Bit And More For Adults Avatar:
- It's pretty
- It gives us an example of why women dig marines.
- It gives us an example of why women don't always stay with marines
- ant-eater-hummingbird-ponies
- Dragon-butterfly-lizards
- Jaguar bug things
- Sigourney Weaver. Anytime there are space marines, she should be there. Points for adding her.
- Lack of Celine Dion. We have learned from past mistakes, apparently.
- Both members of a couple surive. Someone warned Mr. Cameron early on that fans will not put up with that shit more than once.
- Love stories. *sigh*
- Explosions are always fun. (see bullet point 1)
- Nothing says "I don't actually respect non-technical culture" like the non-technical culture being entirely voiced by African Americans and acting basically like Aborigines/Native Americans. It sort of says "These people are this way. European people have all the important neat toys even if you people have spirituality". Same goes for most of the white people who are actually interested in the culture being unable to really fit in -- until magically they are allowed to because of...uh...look, the movie is pretty.
- It's almost three hours long. I get it, James, I do. Titanic was really long. You felt as if you had to keep going. You did not.
- Lack of character development in a meaningful fashion. I understand that explosions are important while showing off your new toy. However, when the nice Marine Man goes from "I dunno about these tree-hugging freaks" to "I love these people" in the course of a 15 minute sex scene, it screams "lack of actual character development." Maybe there was some talked about, and that's grand. But it's a movie. SHOW ME.
- Predictability. Raise your hand if you didn't REALLY see the marine ending up permanently in his Avatar body after he met what's her face the blue cat person.
- Spinal cord braids with tentacles. Creepy and weird.
- Sigourney Weaver NOT being in a robot suit killing aliens and shit. Anytime there are space marines, she should be killing aliens and shit (or running for her life from them. NOT wishing she was one)
- Lack of plot. How in the hell did the blue-tentacle brained- cat people know that their magic tree could essentially grass tentacle rape someone into an Avatar body? WTF?????
- Lack of development of setting. Not that I wanna watch 2.5 hours of a bio lesson, but seriously? We have no explanation of why a human's skin can be exposed to the atmosphere but their lungs can't be. The ONLY time we find out that the plants are interconnected like a brain is because it furthers Sigourney Weaver's grass-tentacle rape and later Mr. Marine's ability to fuse with his Avatar body. Super Weak. P.S. more about the blue-tentacle-people's-culture would be cool. Besides the parts involving awesome 3D climbing through trees/flying on stuff bits.