Mass Effect Series: Old Torches And New Flames
Title: Old Torches And New Flames
Fandom: Mass Effect Series
Character(s): M!Shepard, Tali, Kasumi, Garrus, Joker, EDI, Kaidan
Pairing(s): MShep/Kaidan, MShep/Tali, Kaidan/MShep/Tali, maybe Kaidan/Tali
Word Count: 4176
Genre: humor/romance/general
Rating: PG-13/T
Notes: I don't even. I spent most of the morning on this. What is wrong with me. I don't even. I already SEE themes in my ME writing, which seem to be as follows: Kaidan Alenko's ass, awkward Paragon!Shep, and matchmaking teammate chicks. @_@ Prompt was: "M!Shep/Kaidan/ME2-LI, ManShep has always had feelings for Kaidan, but hooked up with (and has genuine feelings for) an LI from ME2. When Kaidan comes back and regrets that he "missed his chance" at manShep, he gets to have a threesome with manShep and his new LI.
The LI can be anyone and any gender. It can even be a "minor" LI like Kelly or Samara. (But hopefully not Morinth, because I don't want to see Kaidan and manShep die afterwards...)"
Link: masseffectkink
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“How's the fever?” Shepard asked, leaning against one of the entryways to the engineer deck. “Do you need anything? I can, uh, get you the dextro equivalent of soup?”
Tali turned around, smiling under her helmet. “That's sweet, Shepard. I'll be fine a few days. We're not blowing up any more Collector Bases, right?” she joked.
Shepard smiled. “Yeah, we're good for a little while, at least.” He paused, frowning. “Until the Reapers come.”
“Shepard, you need to relax. We just pulled off the impossible!” she replied, walking over to him, putting her hand to his cheek. “Let's go to the bar. Kasumi won't mind the company.”
Tali's three fingers intertwined with Shepard's five, and his smile returned. “You're right,” he murmured. “No point worrying until we get to the Citadel for repairs.”
When they entered the elevator and it closed behind them, Tali leaned her head on Shepard's shoulder. “Wouldn't it be better to dock at Omega for repairs? The Council and Alliance think we're working for Cerberus.”
“I know, but we need some extensive repairs that Joker doesn't want done anywhere else. If we did them in Omega, we'd just owe Aria who knows what,” Shepard explained with a sigh. “I say the first repair is a new paint job. I'm sick of commanding under Cerberus colors.”
Tali chuckled. “I'm sure everyone will help with that,” she murmured. “Jack will be the first to help strip the paint.” She paused as the elevator pinged. “What about Miranda and Jacob?”
“What about them?”
“They don't seem eager to go back to Cerberus. Have you talked to them?”
Shepard nodded as the elevator door opened, and Tali pulled away from him. “What did they say?”
“Miranda will stay as long as she's needed, but she's hearing things over the Cerberus networks that she worked her way back into that isn't sitting well with her. She may part ways after the repairs. And Jacob has no plans to return to Cerberus, but it's not like he can return to the Alliance. He'll stay as long as he's needed.”
Tali nodded, putting her hand on the green holograph on the door to Port Observation. “Kasumi will be happy about that news.”
The door slid open, and the aforementioned thief looked up. “What am I going to be happy about?” she questioned.
“Jacob's staying aboard the Normandy, indefinitely,” Tali replied taking a seat on the couch beside Kasumi.
“Ooh, then I guess I won't be leaving too soon. Well, unless a really good offer falls into my lap,” Kasumi said with a chuckle. “So, Shep, what brings you two love birds to my part of the Normandy?”
“Celebratory drinks!” Tali answered happily then stage whispered to Kasumi. “I think Shepard needs to unwind a bit, and I have to wait until my fever passes to do anything about that myself.”
Shepard almost spilled the drinks he mixed for himself and Kasumi. “Tali...”
Tali giggled. “Oh, Shepard, unwind. Kasumi knew anyway.”
“That's true,” Kasumi added with a giggle of her own and conspiratorial look shared with Tali. “Girls do talk, you know.”
Shepard shook his head as he reached for the triple filtered turian brandy, kept just for Tali. “Just don't go spreading anything too intimate around the ship. I do not need Joker making any comments that are too accurate.”
“No worries. I would never break the sacred trust between two girls gossiping about their sex lives.” Kasumi paused. “Or my lack of one, but I will say my fantasy life does rival your sex life right now, Shep.”
“Okay, that stops there,” Shepard interjected, handing Kasumi and Tali their drinks. “I think that might be too much excitement for me.”
“Don't be so repressed. Have a drink already and loosen up,” Kasumi announced, take a good long drink from her glass.
Shepard looked skeptically between the two girls before knocking back his drink in one gulp. “Satisfied?”
“Getting there,” Kasumi answer as she pulled a bottle out from under the couch. “Though, I think this calls for the special reserves: sake.”
Tali sipped on her brandy through a straw, looking over at Kasumi. “Are you sure? I think Shepard might be a light weight,” she said teasingly.
Shepard frowned. “Tali, you don't think...” he trailed off. “Fine, I know when I'm beat. Pour me a glass.”
Kasumi grinned slowly, pouring the sake into his glass. “I see this night going well,” she murmured as she poured herself a glass as well. “Now, savor that first glass. That's the best sake you'll ever drink. I stole it from the best, after all.”
“Of course,” Shepard said with a snort, and the night went from there.
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“You know who I miss from the old squad? Kaidan,” Tali announced before slurped the last remnants of her fourth glass of triple-filtered turian brandy. “He had no taste in omni-tools, but at least he'd talk with me about them. Garrus always had calibrations, the bosh'tet.”
Shepard frowned, sprawled on a lounge chair and a glass dangling from his hand. “Kaaaaaaidan.”
Kasumi's brows furrowed for a moment. “Wait, wasn't he the one at-”
“Shhhh!” Tali interjected loudly. “We do not mention H-word in front of Shepard. Big no-no.”
Thankfully, Shepard ignored them and didn't inquire what that meant. “He had such a nice ass,” he blurted out with a sigh. “Tali, did you ever watch him detonate a barrier from behind? Mmm...”
Kasumi coughed, trying to hide her giggles. “You are really drunk and a bit of a lightweight,” she stated before turning to Tali who was twirling her straw in her glass. “Is he right about that?”
Tali looked up, fumbling with her straw. “Hmmm? With what? Oh, Alenko's ass? Hmm, oh! Yes, definitely.”
“Too bad about...” Kasumi trailed off, grasping for the right words then just settling that the sake stole away some of her words for the time being. “...what happened at the H-word.”
“His ass just flexed like like...something that flexes, but really hot,” Shepard went on with a stupid smile on his face. “I bet it'd fit in my hands really, really nice...”
Tali looked over at Shepard, flinging her straw at him, but missing completely. “Remember you're with me, Shepard,” she said a bit sulkily. “Oh, I don't think I can compete with that ass...”
Shepard sat up quickly, reaching for Tali before falling back into a sprawl. “Tali, I love yoooou. And Kaidan haaaates me. He never liked me like that...” He stopped, an intense frown marring his face. “Is it cheating to be in love with two people?”
Tali shook her head vigorously before swaying a bit in her chair. “Ugh... Oh no, John... That's all? That's okay. My mother was in love with two people: father and auntie Raan. It's normal with the quarian people,” she slurred as she held her head. “Whoooa. Kasumi, is it a taboo with humans?”
“Not quite, but it's not a common practice,” Kasumi replied, unintentionally glancing where she kept Keiji's graybox. “We tend to hoard our love, and we're a bit bad at sharing. Right, Shep?”
Shepard did not answer. “Shepard?” Tali questioned, sitting up straight. “John? Are you okay? Kasumi, help!”
“Calm down, Tali. He's just passed out,” Kasumi said soothingly as she stood, grateful that room only swayed ever so slightly. “EDI, could you patch me in to Garrus? I think we'll need his help.”
“Patched to the Main Battery,” EDI replied before cutting out.
“Kasumi? This is a surprise,” Garrus' voice said over the comm. “Could this wait? I'm in the middle of some cal-”
“You little bosh'tet! We need your help,” Tali interjected, trying to stand. “We can't carry Shepard to his cabin ourselves. Too druuuunk. Kasumi, maybe we should get Jacob or Thane. They're probably stronger than Vakarian anyway.”
Kasumi covered her mouth to keep her laughter from bubbling out, a harder chose while slightly inebriated, and she could swear she could hear Garrus' mandibles twitching with disgust. “No, don't call either of them. I will be there soon.”
Then the comm cut out, and Kasumi let a few of her giggles escape. “Oh, Tali, I think you're the best drunk I've ever drank with,” she announced proudly.
Tali slumped in her seat. “Thaaaaanks.” After a long pause, the Port Observation door slid open as Tali began to add, “Do you think we could find Alenko on the Citadel?”
“Planning to kick Alenko's ass without me? Tali, I'm hurt,” Garrus said as the doors slid closed behind him. “You know I'd be the first in line, after Shepard, if he ever decided Alenko wasn't worth his time.”
“Oh no, Garrus, that's not we're planning,” Tali said, trying to sit up and pretend to be sober. “He misses his ass-”
“Assets,” Kasumi chimed in, giving Tali a strange look. “Could you bring our illustrious Commander to his quarters? Oh, and there should be some hangover pills in his bathroom.”
Garrus narrowed his eyes in Kasumi's direction suspiciously before sighing. “I don't want to know,” he muttered before striding over to where Shepard laid passed out and drooling on his arm. “I don't promise not to take pictures with my omni-tool, for posterity.”
“Ooh, send me a copy,” Tali said drunkenly. “The room is spinning...”
Garrus' mandibles twitched into a turian sort of frown. “Should I come back for Tali?”
Kasumi gave him a dismissive wave. “Nah. She can have my bed. I sleep on the couch most of the time anyway. I can handle it. Oh, and make sure to send that picture to my omni-tool, too.”
“Sure,” Garrus replied, hefting Shepard up. “C'mon, Commander. You have some alcohol to sleep off.”
“Kaidan,” Shepard muttered in his sleep, and Garrus sighed as they left the room.
Kasumi let out a deep breath then walked over to Tali. “Time for all good little quarians to get tucked into bed.”
“Not sleepy,” Tali murmured, her voice hushed, clearly fighting off a yawn as she tried to clumsily pull away.
“Whatever you say,” Kasumi placated as she managed to get Tali into her bed with no further incident.
Once in Kasumi's bed, Tali went out like a light, and Kasumi curled up on the couch to nod off herself.
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“Commander? We've reached the Citadel,” Joker's voice echoed over the comm in the commander's cabin.
Shepard groaned and threw a pillow with his biotics toward Joker's voice. “Fuck off,” he grumbled, bringing his other pillow over his head.
Joker winced over the comm. “Who pissed in your Blast-Os this morning?”
“Ugh, don't mention food,” Shepard said with a disgusted grunt. “EDI, get someone to get me some hangover meds, just not from Chakwas.”
“They are on your right bedside table, Shepard,” EDI responded. “Garrus left them for you there at Kasumi's behest when he was volunteered to bring you to your cabin.”
Shepard sat up abruptly, immediately regretting it. “Fuck!” he cursed as he flopped back down and reached for his bedside table, grabbing the pills and the convenient water bottle. “Are there pictures? Please tell me there's no pictures, EDI.”
“There are no pictures, Shepard.” After a long pause and some laughter from Joker, EDI chimed in with, “That was a joke.”
Popping the pills into his mouth and gulping down half the water immediately after, Shepard groaned, willing the medicine to work faster. “I am never drinking with Kasumi Goto ever, ever again,” he swore.
“Probably a good call,” Joker said, a bit too cheerily. “You may want to get dressed and head out, Commander. Kasumi's already out on the Citadel. She said something about reconnaissance, and something's probably getting stolen as we speak.”
Shepard let out a long sigh as the pills finally began to kick in. “I'll be heading out within the hour.” He paused as he slid out of bed, rubbing his hands over his face for a moment. “Can you check on Tali for me? I remember her insisting that her straw was an emergency induction port at one point last night...”
“She's sound asleep in Port Observation with the dextro equivalent of hangover medication and water on the bedside stand,” EDI reported.
“We had that on board?” Shepard questioned stupidly.
“Garrus made an early trip out once we docked to purchase it,” EDI answered. “We docked over an hour ago.”
“Why wasn't I called then?” he asked.
“Because 'fuck off' was the nicest things you were saying earlier, Shepard,” Joker replied with a chuckle. “I didn't know you could swear like that.”
“Try to forget that, Joker, please,” Shepard begged as he headed for the bathroom for a shower. “Shepard, out.”
“Not likely, Commander!” Joker added cheerfully before the comm cut out completely.
Resisting the urge to bang his head against the door of his bathroom, Shepard just took a deep breath and went about to taking a quick shower, getting dressed and heading out the Citadel to track down Kasumi. He just hoped she couldn't do too much damage in under two hours. He knew he was kidding himself, but a man could dream.
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Once showered and clothed, Shepard quickly made his way to the elevator. “EDI, do have any ideas of where to start looking for Kasumi?” he asked the AI as he tried to wait for the elevator to reach its destination.
“The Crew's Quarters,” EDI replied. “She and our...guest are chatting.”
Shepard froze. “EDI, when did a guest arrive on the Normandy?” he asked as he changed the floor he was heading to on the elevator output screen.
“Approximately ten minutes ago, while you were still showering, Shepard.”
“Who is it?” he ask between gritted teeth.
“I was told that it should be kept a surprise. You have reached Deck 3. EDI, out.”
“EDI!” he shouted futilely as the elevator doors slid open, revealing some crew members. “Ahem. I'll...let you have the elevator.”
He side-stepped the crew members; they scurried into the elevator while he took a deep breath and rushed toward the Crew's Quarters. He paused in front of the door, gathering his wits and preparing himself for anything from Udina to the Illusive Man to Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani. When he did open the door, he did not expect who he did see.
“Kaidan,” he breathed more than said.
“Shepard,” Kaidan replied, a bit awkwardly, not looking at him or Kasumi.
“I'll just leave you to alone to sort things out,” Kasumi announced as she cloaked herself, and the door slid closed a moment later.
“Kasumi!” Shepard shouted unhappily, trying to open the door, but it seemed Kasumi locked it so even his omni-tool couldn't open it before turning around to face the other person locked in the room with him. “I'm sorry about this, Kaidan...”
Kaidan looked up at Shepard with a quirk of an old, familiar smile. “It's okay, really. She didn't...steal me away from anything I can't do later.”
“I thought she just went on some heist for some shiny bauble, but I didn't expect her to steal a person!” Shepard exclaimed as he dropped into the seat across from Kaidan. “I don't know what got into... Oh, umm...”
Kaidan gave Shepard an inquisitive look. “Yeah? She didn't tell me either. She just said something along the lines that I should think about where I really want to be.”
Shepard blinked, staring at Kaidan. “And where is that?” he asked, almost afraid of the answer.
“Where I always want to be,” he said quietly. “I know the things I said on Horizon were harsh, and I think back on all that, and all I can think is that I hadn't meant most of it. I just...”
“Just?” Shepard prompted, keeping himself from leaning forward and closer to Kaidan.
“Losing you then getting you back so suddenly, I didn't handle it well. I'm still wary that Cerberus was involved, but I know you're you. How could I not? I thought about every move you made and word you said on Horizon, and it was just so you that I don't get how I missed that before...” Kaidan trailed off.
Shepard smiled slyly. “Watched every move I made?”
Kaidan coughed an awkward chuckle. “You had to have noticed before, back on the old Normandy.”
Shepard's brows furrowed. “Notice what?”
“Really?” Kaidan asked, a bit incredulously. “I... Well, no point not telling you now. I've always cared about you, Shepard, as more than just my commander and friend. Losing you just really hit home on what I missed because of regs and being too damned scared to tell you.”
“Kaidan...” Shepard said in surprised, leaning forward and reaching for Kaidan's hand with his own. “I never noticed, but had I, regs would have been out the airlock faster than Garrus can say calibrations.”
A smile, a real full-on smile broke out on Kaidan's face. “So, you really hadn't noticed,” he murmured, squeezing Shepard's hand. “I knew you could be oblivious sometimes-”
“Hey,” Shepard interjected, attempting to be indignant, but the smile on Kaidan's face made that next to impossible.
“-but I figured you just ignored it to spare my feelings,” Kaidan finished, leaning forward. “So, what do we do now?”
“I-” Shepard began before he cut himself off by leaning forward on instinct and pressing his lips against Kaidan's.
Kaidan squeezed his hand a bit tighter and kissed back, tentatively at first until Shepard's tongue made an almost shy appearance. With that reassurance, Kaidan's free hand slid to the back of Shepard's neck, holding him close as they deepened the kiss.
The quiet beeps of the door unlocking behind them and the whoosh of the door sliding open did not register to the men kissing each other across the table. “Ohh!” a startled voice exclaimed, and the moment broke.
Shepard pulled back like he had been burned and spun in his chair like he was trying to break the sound barrier. “Tali!”
“Uh, nice to see you again, Tali,” Kaidan greeted, awkwardly and his face flushing an interesting shade of pink.
“Kaidan,” Tali greeted, sounding a bit amused.
“I can explain...” Shepard started, scrambling for words.
“No need,” Tali interrupted. “We talked about this last night, Shepard. Do you not remember?”
He frowned, clearly hearing the amusement in her tone. “We talked about, what? Me cheating on you? I can't have been that drunk.”
“Cheating?” Kaidan choked out, looking back and forth between Shepard and Tali. “Oh. Tali, I didn't know. I wouldn't have-”
Tali sighed as she pressed some keys on her omni-tool, and the door behind her slid shut with a click of it locking behind her. “I am not angry. And yes, Shepard, we talked about this last night.” She paused, cocking her hip a bit as the amused tone in her voice did not waver. “Somewhere between you waxing poetic about Lieutenant Alenko's ass and passing out in the lounge.”
“Staff Commander now, actually,” Kaidan corrected, out of habit before looking flustered.
A wry chuckle filtered through Tali's helmet. “Commander Alenko's ass, then,” she corrected.
“I didn't...” Shepard said, mortified and keeping his gaze away from Kaidan.
“Oh, but you did. Kasumi is my corroborating witness.” Tali paused thoughtfully. “Garrus probably knows a little too, but only because you called out for Kaidan while you were passed out.”
“Garrus, too?” Shepard said, choking on the words before he fell back into his seat.
“All right, I'll stop torturing you now,” Tali promised as she moved close to Shepard, rubbing back. “The important part here is that I'm not jealous. I know you love me and Kaidan, and like I said last night, I'm okay with that.”
“Really?” both Kaidan and Shepard questioned in unison, staring at Tali then at each other for a moment before looking back at her.
“Really,” she confirmed. “It's common with my people to hold tight to any love they find. Why limit it when love has no limit?”
Shepard stared at her for a moment, awestruck. “I never thought about it like that before,” he murmured. “So, this is really okay?”
Tali nodded then looked at Kaidan. “If Kaidan is okay with it,” she replied. “I'm okay with sharing or sharing.”
“What's the difference?” Shepard asked stupidly, his brain and mouth not quite in sync on the situation around them.
Kaidan coughed. “I think she means...sharing separately or all together,” he answered, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Correct, though, all together would have to wait for my full participation,” Tali said. “I'm still running a bit of a fever from the last time.”
“How does that even work?” Kaidan blurted out curiously. “Ahh, uh, that's none of my business.”
“It could be,” Tali replied, tilting her head at Shepard. “What do you want, Shepard?”
“Both of you, however makes you two comfortable,” he answered honestly, glancing at Kaidan. “What do you want, Kaidan?”
“I have to say...the sharing together idea isn't unappealing, but how would it work otherwise? Only sharing together or...” he trailed off.
“Tali seems to be the expert on this,” Shepard stated, and Tali swatted on the arm in response.
“I'm not! It's just more common with my people. I guess it would be like...” Tali paused, taking a moment to pull up extranet links on her omni-tool. “Ah, open relationships or polyamory?”
“Oh, that makes sense, I think,” Shepard murmured. “But doesn't someone end up jealous in the end?”
“No, not if we talk about our feelings when things are upsetting us,” Tali replied as Shepard pulled a face. “Oh, don't tell me male humans are male turians!”
“I'm not that repressed,” Shepard replied, “but I don't like burdening people with my problems.”
“But you let everyone else burden you with theirs?” Kaidan countered. “It's okay with lovers, Shepard. We wouldn't feel burdened, right, Tali?”
“Nothing you tell me would ever burden me,” she answered, sliding her hand into his.
Kaidan followed Tali's example and took Shepard's other hand. “See? This could work. Give it a chance.”
Shepard swallowed thickly. “What about the Alliance, Kaidan? You can't just leave with us. They still think the Normandy's a Cerberus vessel.”
Kaidan frowned then squeezed Shepard's hand reassuringly. “We'll cross that bridge when we get to it,” he answered. “For now, I have some leave. How long are you staying on the Citadel?”
“A few days for the repairs and the new paint job,” Tali answered. “We're getting rid of the Cerberus colors as we speak.”
Once Tali finished her sentence, a light tremor reverberated through the Normandy's hull. “Commander, could you get Jack to be less enthusiastic about biotically stripping the paint from the Normandy before she sets back our repairs a week?” Joker's agitated voice echoed over the comm. “Sooner rather than later. My baby can't take much more of her rough treatment.”
Shepard winced, disentangling himself from Kaidan and Tali. “I'll be right on it.”
“Oh, and I hear we have a guest. Hey, Alenko. Heard you were an ass. If you didn't apologize profusely, get the hell off my ship,” Joker added before the comm went out.
Kaidan winced. “Joker!” Shepard shouted then sighed. “Kaidan, it's fine now. We're good.”
“I'm guessing Joker's not the only one angry at me...” Kaidan murmured.
“I'd stay clear of Garrus, too,” Tali added. “But now, let's make sure Jack doesn't destroy the hull.”
“Tali, you don't-”
“Shepard, we're supposed to be hurrying. All that damage Jack is causing won't stop itself,” Tali interrupted as she unlocked the door with her omni-tool and headed out the door.
Shepard sighed and looked to Kaidan. “I'm not staying either,” Kaidan said firmly as he gave Shepard a light shove toward to door. “I can meet your crew this way.”
“Does no one listen to me anymore?” Shepard muttered as they headed for the elevator Tali was holding open for them.
“No, not really,” Tali teased. “Is this your hurrying, Commander?”
Kaidan chuckled having already entered the elevator. “She's right.”
Shepard stepped inside the elevator with an exaggerated sigh. “This is just going to be you two double teaming me, all the time, isn't it?”
Tali and Kaidan shared an amused look. “Yes,” they both replied before breaking out into laughter.
Shepard joined the laughter as the elevator closed. “Guess I wouldn't really have it any other way,” he murmured as he watched Tali and Kaidan lean against each other, laughing to hard to stay standing straight.
Now that he can see what he'd be missing, he couldn't have it any other way.
Fandom: Mass Effect Series
Character(s): M!Shepard, Tali, Kasumi, Garrus, Joker, EDI, Kaidan
Pairing(s): MShep/Kaidan, MShep/Tali, Kaidan/MShep/Tali, maybe Kaidan/Tali
Word Count: 4176
Genre: humor/romance/general
Rating: PG-13/T
Notes: I don't even. I spent most of the morning on this. What is wrong with me. I don't even. I already SEE themes in my ME writing, which seem to be as follows: Kaidan Alenko's ass, awkward Paragon!Shep, and matchmaking teammate chicks. @_@ Prompt was: "M!Shep/Kaidan/ME2-LI, ManShep has always had feelings for Kaidan, but hooked up with (and has genuine feelings for) an LI from ME2. When Kaidan comes back and regrets that he "missed his chance" at manShep, he gets to have a threesome with manShep and his new LI.
The LI can be anyone and any gender. It can even be a "minor" LI like Kelly or Samara. (But hopefully not Morinth, because I don't want to see Kaidan and manShep die afterwards...)"
Link: masseffectkink
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“How's the fever?” Shepard asked, leaning against one of the entryways to the engineer deck. “Do you need anything? I can, uh, get you the dextro equivalent of soup?”
Tali turned around, smiling under her helmet. “That's sweet, Shepard. I'll be fine a few days. We're not blowing up any more Collector Bases, right?” she joked.
Shepard smiled. “Yeah, we're good for a little while, at least.” He paused, frowning. “Until the Reapers come.”
“Shepard, you need to relax. We just pulled off the impossible!” she replied, walking over to him, putting her hand to his cheek. “Let's go to the bar. Kasumi won't mind the company.”
Tali's three fingers intertwined with Shepard's five, and his smile returned. “You're right,” he murmured. “No point worrying until we get to the Citadel for repairs.”
When they entered the elevator and it closed behind them, Tali leaned her head on Shepard's shoulder. “Wouldn't it be better to dock at Omega for repairs? The Council and Alliance think we're working for Cerberus.”
“I know, but we need some extensive repairs that Joker doesn't want done anywhere else. If we did them in Omega, we'd just owe Aria who knows what,” Shepard explained with a sigh. “I say the first repair is a new paint job. I'm sick of commanding under Cerberus colors.”
Tali chuckled. “I'm sure everyone will help with that,” she murmured. “Jack will be the first to help strip the paint.” She paused as the elevator pinged. “What about Miranda and Jacob?”
“What about them?”
“They don't seem eager to go back to Cerberus. Have you talked to them?”
Shepard nodded as the elevator door opened, and Tali pulled away from him. “What did they say?”
“Miranda will stay as long as she's needed, but she's hearing things over the Cerberus networks that she worked her way back into that isn't sitting well with her. She may part ways after the repairs. And Jacob has no plans to return to Cerberus, but it's not like he can return to the Alliance. He'll stay as long as he's needed.”
Tali nodded, putting her hand on the green holograph on the door to Port Observation. “Kasumi will be happy about that news.”
The door slid open, and the aforementioned thief looked up. “What am I going to be happy about?” she questioned.
“Jacob's staying aboard the Normandy, indefinitely,” Tali replied taking a seat on the couch beside Kasumi.
“Ooh, then I guess I won't be leaving too soon. Well, unless a really good offer falls into my lap,” Kasumi said with a chuckle. “So, Shep, what brings you two love birds to my part of the Normandy?”
“Celebratory drinks!” Tali answered happily then stage whispered to Kasumi. “I think Shepard needs to unwind a bit, and I have to wait until my fever passes to do anything about that myself.”
Shepard almost spilled the drinks he mixed for himself and Kasumi. “Tali...”
Tali giggled. “Oh, Shepard, unwind. Kasumi knew anyway.”
“That's true,” Kasumi added with a giggle of her own and conspiratorial look shared with Tali. “Girls do talk, you know.”
Shepard shook his head as he reached for the triple filtered turian brandy, kept just for Tali. “Just don't go spreading anything too intimate around the ship. I do not need Joker making any comments that are too accurate.”
“No worries. I would never break the sacred trust between two girls gossiping about their sex lives.” Kasumi paused. “Or my lack of one, but I will say my fantasy life does rival your sex life right now, Shep.”
“Okay, that stops there,” Shepard interjected, handing Kasumi and Tali their drinks. “I think that might be too much excitement for me.”
“Don't be so repressed. Have a drink already and loosen up,” Kasumi announced, take a good long drink from her glass.
Shepard looked skeptically between the two girls before knocking back his drink in one gulp. “Satisfied?”
“Getting there,” Kasumi answer as she pulled a bottle out from under the couch. “Though, I think this calls for the special reserves: sake.”
Tali sipped on her brandy through a straw, looking over at Kasumi. “Are you sure? I think Shepard might be a light weight,” she said teasingly.
Shepard frowned. “Tali, you don't think...” he trailed off. “Fine, I know when I'm beat. Pour me a glass.”
Kasumi grinned slowly, pouring the sake into his glass. “I see this night going well,” she murmured as she poured herself a glass as well. “Now, savor that first glass. That's the best sake you'll ever drink. I stole it from the best, after all.”
“Of course,” Shepard said with a snort, and the night went from there.
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“You know who I miss from the old squad? Kaidan,” Tali announced before slurped the last remnants of her fourth glass of triple-filtered turian brandy. “He had no taste in omni-tools, but at least he'd talk with me about them. Garrus always had calibrations, the bosh'tet.”
Shepard frowned, sprawled on a lounge chair and a glass dangling from his hand. “Kaaaaaaidan.”
Kasumi's brows furrowed for a moment. “Wait, wasn't he the one at-”
“Shhhh!” Tali interjected loudly. “We do not mention H-word in front of Shepard. Big no-no.”
Thankfully, Shepard ignored them and didn't inquire what that meant. “He had such a nice ass,” he blurted out with a sigh. “Tali, did you ever watch him detonate a barrier from behind? Mmm...”
Kasumi coughed, trying to hide her giggles. “You are really drunk and a bit of a lightweight,” she stated before turning to Tali who was twirling her straw in her glass. “Is he right about that?”
Tali looked up, fumbling with her straw. “Hmmm? With what? Oh, Alenko's ass? Hmm, oh! Yes, definitely.”
“Too bad about...” Kasumi trailed off, grasping for the right words then just settling that the sake stole away some of her words for the time being. “...what happened at the H-word.”
“His ass just flexed like like...something that flexes, but really hot,” Shepard went on with a stupid smile on his face. “I bet it'd fit in my hands really, really nice...”
Tali looked over at Shepard, flinging her straw at him, but missing completely. “Remember you're with me, Shepard,” she said a bit sulkily. “Oh, I don't think I can compete with that ass...”
Shepard sat up quickly, reaching for Tali before falling back into a sprawl. “Tali, I love yoooou. And Kaidan haaaates me. He never liked me like that...” He stopped, an intense frown marring his face. “Is it cheating to be in love with two people?”
Tali shook her head vigorously before swaying a bit in her chair. “Ugh... Oh no, John... That's all? That's okay. My mother was in love with two people: father and auntie Raan. It's normal with the quarian people,” she slurred as she held her head. “Whoooa. Kasumi, is it a taboo with humans?”
“Not quite, but it's not a common practice,” Kasumi replied, unintentionally glancing where she kept Keiji's graybox. “We tend to hoard our love, and we're a bit bad at sharing. Right, Shep?”
Shepard did not answer. “Shepard?” Tali questioned, sitting up straight. “John? Are you okay? Kasumi, help!”
“Calm down, Tali. He's just passed out,” Kasumi said soothingly as she stood, grateful that room only swayed ever so slightly. “EDI, could you patch me in to Garrus? I think we'll need his help.”
“Patched to the Main Battery,” EDI replied before cutting out.
“Kasumi? This is a surprise,” Garrus' voice said over the comm. “Could this wait? I'm in the middle of some cal-”
“You little bosh'tet! We need your help,” Tali interjected, trying to stand. “We can't carry Shepard to his cabin ourselves. Too druuuunk. Kasumi, maybe we should get Jacob or Thane. They're probably stronger than Vakarian anyway.”
Kasumi covered her mouth to keep her laughter from bubbling out, a harder chose while slightly inebriated, and she could swear she could hear Garrus' mandibles twitching with disgust. “No, don't call either of them. I will be there soon.”
Then the comm cut out, and Kasumi let a few of her giggles escape. “Oh, Tali, I think you're the best drunk I've ever drank with,” she announced proudly.
Tali slumped in her seat. “Thaaaaanks.” After a long pause, the Port Observation door slid open as Tali began to add, “Do you think we could find Alenko on the Citadel?”
“Planning to kick Alenko's ass without me? Tali, I'm hurt,” Garrus said as the doors slid closed behind him. “You know I'd be the first in line, after Shepard, if he ever decided Alenko wasn't worth his time.”
“Oh no, Garrus, that's not we're planning,” Tali said, trying to sit up and pretend to be sober. “He misses his ass-”
“Assets,” Kasumi chimed in, giving Tali a strange look. “Could you bring our illustrious Commander to his quarters? Oh, and there should be some hangover pills in his bathroom.”
Garrus narrowed his eyes in Kasumi's direction suspiciously before sighing. “I don't want to know,” he muttered before striding over to where Shepard laid passed out and drooling on his arm. “I don't promise not to take pictures with my omni-tool, for posterity.”
“Ooh, send me a copy,” Tali said drunkenly. “The room is spinning...”
Garrus' mandibles twitched into a turian sort of frown. “Should I come back for Tali?”
Kasumi gave him a dismissive wave. “Nah. She can have my bed. I sleep on the couch most of the time anyway. I can handle it. Oh, and make sure to send that picture to my omni-tool, too.”
“Sure,” Garrus replied, hefting Shepard up. “C'mon, Commander. You have some alcohol to sleep off.”
“Kaidan,” Shepard muttered in his sleep, and Garrus sighed as they left the room.
Kasumi let out a deep breath then walked over to Tali. “Time for all good little quarians to get tucked into bed.”
“Not sleepy,” Tali murmured, her voice hushed, clearly fighting off a yawn as she tried to clumsily pull away.
“Whatever you say,” Kasumi placated as she managed to get Tali into her bed with no further incident.
Once in Kasumi's bed, Tali went out like a light, and Kasumi curled up on the couch to nod off herself.
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“Commander? We've reached the Citadel,” Joker's voice echoed over the comm in the commander's cabin.
Shepard groaned and threw a pillow with his biotics toward Joker's voice. “Fuck off,” he grumbled, bringing his other pillow over his head.
Joker winced over the comm. “Who pissed in your Blast-Os this morning?”
“Ugh, don't mention food,” Shepard said with a disgusted grunt. “EDI, get someone to get me some hangover meds, just not from Chakwas.”
“They are on your right bedside table, Shepard,” EDI responded. “Garrus left them for you there at Kasumi's behest when he was volunteered to bring you to your cabin.”
Shepard sat up abruptly, immediately regretting it. “Fuck!” he cursed as he flopped back down and reached for his bedside table, grabbing the pills and the convenient water bottle. “Are there pictures? Please tell me there's no pictures, EDI.”
“There are no pictures, Shepard.” After a long pause and some laughter from Joker, EDI chimed in with, “That was a joke.”
Popping the pills into his mouth and gulping down half the water immediately after, Shepard groaned, willing the medicine to work faster. “I am never drinking with Kasumi Goto ever, ever again,” he swore.
“Probably a good call,” Joker said, a bit too cheerily. “You may want to get dressed and head out, Commander. Kasumi's already out on the Citadel. She said something about reconnaissance, and something's probably getting stolen as we speak.”
Shepard let out a long sigh as the pills finally began to kick in. “I'll be heading out within the hour.” He paused as he slid out of bed, rubbing his hands over his face for a moment. “Can you check on Tali for me? I remember her insisting that her straw was an emergency induction port at one point last night...”
“She's sound asleep in Port Observation with the dextro equivalent of hangover medication and water on the bedside stand,” EDI reported.
“We had that on board?” Shepard questioned stupidly.
“Garrus made an early trip out once we docked to purchase it,” EDI answered. “We docked over an hour ago.”
“Why wasn't I called then?” he asked.
“Because 'fuck off' was the nicest things you were saying earlier, Shepard,” Joker replied with a chuckle. “I didn't know you could swear like that.”
“Try to forget that, Joker, please,” Shepard begged as he headed for the bathroom for a shower. “Shepard, out.”
“Not likely, Commander!” Joker added cheerfully before the comm cut out completely.
Resisting the urge to bang his head against the door of his bathroom, Shepard just took a deep breath and went about to taking a quick shower, getting dressed and heading out the Citadel to track down Kasumi. He just hoped she couldn't do too much damage in under two hours. He knew he was kidding himself, but a man could dream.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once showered and clothed, Shepard quickly made his way to the elevator. “EDI, do have any ideas of where to start looking for Kasumi?” he asked the AI as he tried to wait for the elevator to reach its destination.
“The Crew's Quarters,” EDI replied. “She and our...guest are chatting.”
Shepard froze. “EDI, when did a guest arrive on the Normandy?” he asked as he changed the floor he was heading to on the elevator output screen.
“Approximately ten minutes ago, while you were still showering, Shepard.”
“Who is it?” he ask between gritted teeth.
“I was told that it should be kept a surprise. You have reached Deck 3. EDI, out.”
“EDI!” he shouted futilely as the elevator doors slid open, revealing some crew members. “Ahem. I'll...let you have the elevator.”
He side-stepped the crew members; they scurried into the elevator while he took a deep breath and rushed toward the Crew's Quarters. He paused in front of the door, gathering his wits and preparing himself for anything from Udina to the Illusive Man to Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani. When he did open the door, he did not expect who he did see.
“Kaidan,” he breathed more than said.
“Shepard,” Kaidan replied, a bit awkwardly, not looking at him or Kasumi.
“I'll just leave you to alone to sort things out,” Kasumi announced as she cloaked herself, and the door slid closed a moment later.
“Kasumi!” Shepard shouted unhappily, trying to open the door, but it seemed Kasumi locked it so even his omni-tool couldn't open it before turning around to face the other person locked in the room with him. “I'm sorry about this, Kaidan...”
Kaidan looked up at Shepard with a quirk of an old, familiar smile. “It's okay, really. She didn't...steal me away from anything I can't do later.”
“I thought she just went on some heist for some shiny bauble, but I didn't expect her to steal a person!” Shepard exclaimed as he dropped into the seat across from Kaidan. “I don't know what got into... Oh, umm...”
Kaidan gave Shepard an inquisitive look. “Yeah? She didn't tell me either. She just said something along the lines that I should think about where I really want to be.”
Shepard blinked, staring at Kaidan. “And where is that?” he asked, almost afraid of the answer.
“Where I always want to be,” he said quietly. “I know the things I said on Horizon were harsh, and I think back on all that, and all I can think is that I hadn't meant most of it. I just...”
“Just?” Shepard prompted, keeping himself from leaning forward and closer to Kaidan.
“Losing you then getting you back so suddenly, I didn't handle it well. I'm still wary that Cerberus was involved, but I know you're you. How could I not? I thought about every move you made and word you said on Horizon, and it was just so you that I don't get how I missed that before...” Kaidan trailed off.
Shepard smiled slyly. “Watched every move I made?”
Kaidan coughed an awkward chuckle. “You had to have noticed before, back on the old Normandy.”
Shepard's brows furrowed. “Notice what?”
“Really?” Kaidan asked, a bit incredulously. “I... Well, no point not telling you now. I've always cared about you, Shepard, as more than just my commander and friend. Losing you just really hit home on what I missed because of regs and being too damned scared to tell you.”
“Kaidan...” Shepard said in surprised, leaning forward and reaching for Kaidan's hand with his own. “I never noticed, but had I, regs would have been out the airlock faster than Garrus can say calibrations.”
A smile, a real full-on smile broke out on Kaidan's face. “So, you really hadn't noticed,” he murmured, squeezing Shepard's hand. “I knew you could be oblivious sometimes-”
“Hey,” Shepard interjected, attempting to be indignant, but the smile on Kaidan's face made that next to impossible.
“-but I figured you just ignored it to spare my feelings,” Kaidan finished, leaning forward. “So, what do we do now?”
“I-” Shepard began before he cut himself off by leaning forward on instinct and pressing his lips against Kaidan's.
Kaidan squeezed his hand a bit tighter and kissed back, tentatively at first until Shepard's tongue made an almost shy appearance. With that reassurance, Kaidan's free hand slid to the back of Shepard's neck, holding him close as they deepened the kiss.
The quiet beeps of the door unlocking behind them and the whoosh of the door sliding open did not register to the men kissing each other across the table. “Ohh!” a startled voice exclaimed, and the moment broke.
Shepard pulled back like he had been burned and spun in his chair like he was trying to break the sound barrier. “Tali!”
“Uh, nice to see you again, Tali,” Kaidan greeted, awkwardly and his face flushing an interesting shade of pink.
“Kaidan,” Tali greeted, sounding a bit amused.
“I can explain...” Shepard started, scrambling for words.
“No need,” Tali interrupted. “We talked about this last night, Shepard. Do you not remember?”
He frowned, clearly hearing the amusement in her tone. “We talked about, what? Me cheating on you? I can't have been that drunk.”
“Cheating?” Kaidan choked out, looking back and forth between Shepard and Tali. “Oh. Tali, I didn't know. I wouldn't have-”
Tali sighed as she pressed some keys on her omni-tool, and the door behind her slid shut with a click of it locking behind her. “I am not angry. And yes, Shepard, we talked about this last night.” She paused, cocking her hip a bit as the amused tone in her voice did not waver. “Somewhere between you waxing poetic about Lieutenant Alenko's ass and passing out in the lounge.”
“Staff Commander now, actually,” Kaidan corrected, out of habit before looking flustered.
A wry chuckle filtered through Tali's helmet. “Commander Alenko's ass, then,” she corrected.
“I didn't...” Shepard said, mortified and keeping his gaze away from Kaidan.
“Oh, but you did. Kasumi is my corroborating witness.” Tali paused thoughtfully. “Garrus probably knows a little too, but only because you called out for Kaidan while you were passed out.”
“Garrus, too?” Shepard said, choking on the words before he fell back into his seat.
“All right, I'll stop torturing you now,” Tali promised as she moved close to Shepard, rubbing back. “The important part here is that I'm not jealous. I know you love me and Kaidan, and like I said last night, I'm okay with that.”
“Really?” both Kaidan and Shepard questioned in unison, staring at Tali then at each other for a moment before looking back at her.
“Really,” she confirmed. “It's common with my people to hold tight to any love they find. Why limit it when love has no limit?”
Shepard stared at her for a moment, awestruck. “I never thought about it like that before,” he murmured. “So, this is really okay?”
Tali nodded then looked at Kaidan. “If Kaidan is okay with it,” she replied. “I'm okay with sharing or sharing.”
“What's the difference?” Shepard asked stupidly, his brain and mouth not quite in sync on the situation around them.
Kaidan coughed. “I think she means...sharing separately or all together,” he answered, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Correct, though, all together would have to wait for my full participation,” Tali said. “I'm still running a bit of a fever from the last time.”
“How does that even work?” Kaidan blurted out curiously. “Ahh, uh, that's none of my business.”
“It could be,” Tali replied, tilting her head at Shepard. “What do you want, Shepard?”
“Both of you, however makes you two comfortable,” he answered honestly, glancing at Kaidan. “What do you want, Kaidan?”
“I have to say...the sharing together idea isn't unappealing, but how would it work otherwise? Only sharing together or...” he trailed off.
“Tali seems to be the expert on this,” Shepard stated, and Tali swatted on the arm in response.
“I'm not! It's just more common with my people. I guess it would be like...” Tali paused, taking a moment to pull up extranet links on her omni-tool. “Ah, open relationships or polyamory?”
“Oh, that makes sense, I think,” Shepard murmured. “But doesn't someone end up jealous in the end?”
“No, not if we talk about our feelings when things are upsetting us,” Tali replied as Shepard pulled a face. “Oh, don't tell me male humans are male turians!”
“I'm not that repressed,” Shepard replied, “but I don't like burdening people with my problems.”
“But you let everyone else burden you with theirs?” Kaidan countered. “It's okay with lovers, Shepard. We wouldn't feel burdened, right, Tali?”
“Nothing you tell me would ever burden me,” she answered, sliding her hand into his.
Kaidan followed Tali's example and took Shepard's other hand. “See? This could work. Give it a chance.”
Shepard swallowed thickly. “What about the Alliance, Kaidan? You can't just leave with us. They still think the Normandy's a Cerberus vessel.”
Kaidan frowned then squeezed Shepard's hand reassuringly. “We'll cross that bridge when we get to it,” he answered. “For now, I have some leave. How long are you staying on the Citadel?”
“A few days for the repairs and the new paint job,” Tali answered. “We're getting rid of the Cerberus colors as we speak.”
Once Tali finished her sentence, a light tremor reverberated through the Normandy's hull. “Commander, could you get Jack to be less enthusiastic about biotically stripping the paint from the Normandy before she sets back our repairs a week?” Joker's agitated voice echoed over the comm. “Sooner rather than later. My baby can't take much more of her rough treatment.”
Shepard winced, disentangling himself from Kaidan and Tali. “I'll be right on it.”
“Oh, and I hear we have a guest. Hey, Alenko. Heard you were an ass. If you didn't apologize profusely, get the hell off my ship,” Joker added before the comm went out.
Kaidan winced. “Joker!” Shepard shouted then sighed. “Kaidan, it's fine now. We're good.”
“I'm guessing Joker's not the only one angry at me...” Kaidan murmured.
“I'd stay clear of Garrus, too,” Tali added. “But now, let's make sure Jack doesn't destroy the hull.”
“Tali, you don't-”
“Shepard, we're supposed to be hurrying. All that damage Jack is causing won't stop itself,” Tali interrupted as she unlocked the door with her omni-tool and headed out the door.
Shepard sighed and looked to Kaidan. “I'm not staying either,” Kaidan said firmly as he gave Shepard a light shove toward to door. “I can meet your crew this way.”
“Does no one listen to me anymore?” Shepard muttered as they headed for the elevator Tali was holding open for them.
“No, not really,” Tali teased. “Is this your hurrying, Commander?”
Kaidan chuckled having already entered the elevator. “She's right.”
Shepard stepped inside the elevator with an exaggerated sigh. “This is just going to be you two double teaming me, all the time, isn't it?”
Tali and Kaidan shared an amused look. “Yes,” they both replied before breaking out into laughter.
Shepard joined the laughter as the elevator closed. “Guess I wouldn't really have it any other way,” he murmured as he watched Tali and Kaidan lean against each other, laughing to hard to stay standing straight.
Now that he can see what he'd be missing, he couldn't have it any other way.