Tough
So I get an awkward message from a cousin in the Philippines through Facebook today, asking for some money as apparently the flooding that happened last season has meant the harvest in the fish farms was affected. I haven't responded yet but my initial reaction is, "umm, no". If I let her borrow money, I bettter expect not to see it again. Also, if I start now, it will not be the last that I get requests like these, not only from her but also from others in there who will think all of a sudden that I'm now giving away handouts. Lastly, the last time she brought the subject of money to me, it was because she wanted to buy her husband a nice bike for Christmas, so, well, let's just say I'm not entirely sure any money I fork out will be used properly.
Anyway, before I'm crucified as some tight arse or worse, someone who spits at the face of people needing help and not just normal people but actually family, I should explain where my reluctance to help stems from. In the Philippines I grew up living predominantly with my mum's side of the family and as a consequence I was very close to them. I've always known this side of my family to be the most generous and industrious bunch of people that have become successful in their lives as a consequence of their hard work.
Dad's side however was a bit more problematic. I can never really put my finger on one reason why their lives haven't elevated too far away from poverty; I guess it's a multitude of things really. But anyway, despite that, I know that they can make ends meet when it comes to it however they just make choices that, well, disappoint me quite a lot and which inevitably lands them in trouble at times.
I also sometimes compare how both my parent's families started up and I can see that they sprouted from fairly similar conditions. In fact mum's side actually had 12 children while dad's is a "mere" 7, so you might say they even had an advantage. Anyway, what I question sometimes is what was the difference between these two families that ultimately yielded the very differing result I see today. It just sort of goes back to my original assesment of poor judgment being exercised ad nauseum.
It saddens me at times that I feel a greater need to donate to charitable institutions than to this side of my family because I think my money would be used much more wisely. When I saw them on a holiday back in 2010, what I saw in their eyes when they saw me was, "hey, look at that, a bag of money walking my way". I guess having lived through a third world country and been first hand witness to this sort of thing has made me apathetic to it all which might sound wrong but really, it's like one of those situations where you're on a life raft and there are more people on the water wanting to get in but you know you'll be swamped if you let them all in, killing you all. What would you do in that situation?
/finished airing out dirty laundry
Anyway, before I'm crucified as some tight arse or worse, someone who spits at the face of people needing help and not just normal people but actually family, I should explain where my reluctance to help stems from. In the Philippines I grew up living predominantly with my mum's side of the family and as a consequence I was very close to them. I've always known this side of my family to be the most generous and industrious bunch of people that have become successful in their lives as a consequence of their hard work.
Dad's side however was a bit more problematic. I can never really put my finger on one reason why their lives haven't elevated too far away from poverty; I guess it's a multitude of things really. But anyway, despite that, I know that they can make ends meet when it comes to it however they just make choices that, well, disappoint me quite a lot and which inevitably lands them in trouble at times.
I also sometimes compare how both my parent's families started up and I can see that they sprouted from fairly similar conditions. In fact mum's side actually had 12 children while dad's is a "mere" 7, so you might say they even had an advantage. Anyway, what I question sometimes is what was the difference between these two families that ultimately yielded the very differing result I see today. It just sort of goes back to my original assesment of poor judgment being exercised ad nauseum.
It saddens me at times that I feel a greater need to donate to charitable institutions than to this side of my family because I think my money would be used much more wisely. When I saw them on a holiday back in 2010, what I saw in their eyes when they saw me was, "hey, look at that, a bag of money walking my way". I guess having lived through a third world country and been first hand witness to this sort of thing has made me apathetic to it all which might sound wrong but really, it's like one of those situations where you're on a life raft and there are more people on the water wanting to get in but you know you'll be swamped if you let them all in, killing you all. What would you do in that situation?
/finished airing out dirty laundry