Alstars 4: Episode 7...
"Sending me home doesn't make sense with my fantasy."
- Valentina (The look on her face... GOLD! *cackles*)
Bruh, the ultimate SHADE of them playing Selena right after voting Valentina off the island. I dunno if it was on purpose (Let's get real here: We all know it was *laughs*) or what but time them credits started, I went to screaming... I'm probably not gonna write this review 'til tomorrow but I had to get that outta my system... It's so epic, I'm still watching the shit *laughs hysterically*
Hi! I'm back and since I've already spoiled that Valentina went home... I just wanna talk about how I spent the entire episode thinking Monet and Monique were gonna win. Like, their take on an alien/outer space club The Black Hole was EVERYTHING. At 1st, I thought Naomi and Valentina had it in the bag but things went south so quick with the design portion of the challenge that my mind changed real quick. (I mean, there was a moment where Valentina was sitting on Naomi's shoulders painting the wall and I laughed so hard I almost passed out. Long story short, Naomi did most of the work while Valentina went around judging ***read as: Hating on*** everybody's club.) Their club was called Club 96 (Which on their challenge they whispered it over and over and that was the only part I really liked about their set cuz after awhile it felt like an in joke) cuz 69 woulda been too on the nose and I agreed. I mean, the whole idea was so perfect and it shoulda worked but it didn't. Their set was so dry... But I appreciate that when Naomi was talking about them working together, even with the other queens trying to put words in her mouth, Naomi didn't speak bad of Valentina (Which mighta been strategy on her part cuz Valentina's fans are totally bonkers) and to top it off, Valentina didn't try to act ad if she was working her padded ass off. (Take notes, Bebe... This is how your ass shoulda treated Aja)
Latrice got to choose teams and she also got to choose which team she would be on. She paired up everyone then chose to be on a team with Manila (Obviously) and Trinity. Now here's where the problem comes in: The beginning was strong, the middle was weak and that ending with the spelling bee was saved by Trinity. The name of their club was The Beehive. It literally looked like the old Interior Illusions Lounge from back in the day before Drag Race had a budget. Well, I say from before the budget... I was with Monique when she pointed out they have a budget and yet, they had the queens paint and decorate their own club sets for the challenge. Where's the lie, tho'?
I agree with Trinity winning to some extent but no, you can argue that Monique didn't win cuz of her runway but need I remind everyone that Jinkx Monsoon stayed getting dragged in Season 5 for her runway outfits and not only did she constantly win challenges, she won the season. Chi Chi Devagne too. In season 8, she won Bitch Perfect (RIP: Lucian's career) challenge even tho' Michelle had so much to say about her runway, none of it positive.
And since I brought up the runway, why come when Latrice hit the runway, I immediately thought of Oh from the movie "Home"?
^That guy to be exact.
I started screaming it at the TV but David was like, "I'm seeing Ursula." (David's commentary on Drag Race is hella hilarious)
As for Trinity, she looked like she blew one hell of a bubble and it blew back on her and I was here for it. Next up was Naomi and it's the 1st runway of hers that I've hated this season. Shame. Then came Valentina dressed as a Venezuela runway doll and I thought it was so cute and when Michelle tried to clock her for it, she kindly pointed out that her runway was not even close to her Snatchgame character from Season 9... That was Miss Columbia and I just went to laughing as Rupaul started making Wizard of Oz jokes. "And you were there. And you and you..."
The runway was inspired by plastic... Wait, wait... Let me back up: I liked Manila's runway the most. She was dressed a fruit basket. 2nd place goes to Monet. (Who was ROBBED... Imma need my therapist to pull out a doll so I can point where this episode hurt me) I enjoyed everything about her runway and like I said, I kinda understood why they didn't like Monique's but I don't care. Two judges said they didn't wanna leave their club yet, The Beehive won. In what world?! Everything about The Black Hole was crazy, loopy fun... What's not to love? I'm still trying to convince myself I didn't see that shit. Ugh.
As for the lipsync, I know alot of people probably aren't feeling it but fuck those fools... I laughed my padded ass off at Trinity and those old lady titties twirling in the wind. Latrice won and no shade but I feel like they gave her that win and the win for the challenge. The most I woulda accepted was Trinity/Monet winning and that was also me pushing it. Instead, as mentioned, we were treated to what woulda been a boring lipsync without those old lady titties. It kinda reminded me of Shangela vs. Bendelacreme last year... Only not executed as well... and Latrice... Well, the lipsync was tighter than a virgin twat and that's about it. Dry. Lukewarm. Bleeh.
As I mentioned earlier, bye bye Selena... Oops. *cough cough* Valentina
Later
PS: I hated Rupaul's runway this week. Last week with that tiny ass dress and those legs for days was EVERYTHING to say this week was so stale. You know what woulda made it better? 🤔
Removing the sleeves and just letting it be an over one shoulder number. Yup. I woulda liked that better
PS2: As much as she claims to hate green, nobody clocked Michelle wearing green last week... and I'm not talking about a swatch. I'm talking about a fully green garment
PS3: The guest judges this week reminded me why I watch this show year after year... 🖤🖤🖤