There are a few grammatical errors here and there. The best way to refer to that era of literature in your sentence would be "Romantic". It's grammatically incorrect to refer to it as "Romanticism" literature. The italics are also overused. I'll refrain from further commentary on the grammar, unless you want it.
It's rough around the edges and Ciel seems OOC, but it's up to you how to interpret him, as long as you explain enough to make his train of thought believable.
Ah, so it's wrong to call it Romanticism? I had to google to find the actual term, and it seems I found the wrong one. My apologies about that. The italics are something I like using, so yes, they might be overused. It's just part of my style, I'm afraid. I wouldn't mind comments about the grammar, I'd actually appreciate it very much.
To make Ciel so full of emotion is something very hard, so it was quite an effort on my part. Since puberty can be such a turmoil, I thought I could give it a try. I may have ended up making him OOC, but it was merely a try.
Thank you for the criticism, it's highly appreciated ^^
Romanticism was the movement, but if you're going to talk about it in reference to something it would be correct to use the word "romantic."
If you'd like, I can read it over, change what I think is off and highlight my changes (so you can see the differences) in a word document which I can send to the email address on your profile (the hotmail one).
There's nothing wrong with trying. Practice is what makes perfect, after all. I thought I'd add that you're taking the criticism quite well.
Ah, I understand now. Thank you for clearing it up.
If it wouldn't be bother, I'd love if you could do that.
Thank you. You and tasukigirl were actually great at giving criticism, it's better to listen and gain from you than ignore you and be lost in my own little world where my story's perfect.
I emailed you the edited copy. Unfortunately I failed to highlight the parts I changed, but I'm sure you'll be aware of what has been changed. Please let me know what you think.
It's rough around the edges and Ciel seems OOC, but it's up to you how to interpret him, as long as you explain enough to make his train of thought believable.
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To make Ciel so full of emotion is something very hard, so it was quite an effort on my part. Since puberty can be such a turmoil, I thought I could give it a try. I may have ended up making him OOC, but it was merely a try.
Thank you for the criticism, it's highly appreciated ^^
Reply
If you'd like, I can read it over, change what I think is off and highlight my changes (so you can see the differences) in a word document which I can send to the email address on your profile (the hotmail one).
There's nothing wrong with trying. Practice is what makes perfect, after all.
I thought I'd add that you're taking the criticism quite well.
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If it wouldn't be bother, I'd love if you could do that.
Thank you. You and tasukigirl were actually great at giving criticism, it's better to listen and gain from you than ignore you and be lost in my own little world where my story's perfect.
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You have a good outlook, and I'm sure you'll improve with practice.
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Thank you, I'll keep trying my best.
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