What Kibums Want (What Women Want Spoof) 1/?

[shinetae]

What Kibums Want 1/?
(A spoof on the movie What Women Want)
Couple: JongKey, Tae/?
Rated: PG12
Genre: Crack, Fluff (kind of),
Disclaimer: I Do NOT own SHINee, or What Women Want
Summary: Jonghyun had never been good at understanding pe
ople, especially when it came to his emotional rollercoaster of a boyfriend Key. And because of this, many fights were caused between the two. When a large fight breaks out between the couple on their three-month anniversary, Jonghyun swears that he would never be able to understand the irrational freak-chain of emotions that Kibum is. However, when Taemin suggests trying to put himself in Key’s shoes and Jonghyun accidently shocks himself on Key’s prized hair straighter, he awakes to find that he had obtained a strange and useful power. To read minds-Key’s mind, in fact.

Jonghyun had never been the sharpest tool in the shed. He wasn’t too proud to admit that. In high school he had always been at the bottom of his class ranks, and was never expected to win a test in his whole history of schooling. He was fine with C’s and B-’s at school. He didn’t mind that. And he wasn’t too proud to admit that he wasn’t the smartest Einstein that ever roamed the earth.

He also wasn’t too proud to admit that he absolutely and positively SUCKED at trying to understand people. He accepted this as an unfortunate but undeniable fact of his existence, and never really tried to fight it. Even though he was the immediate candidate to being the first member of SHINee to crawl to and snuggle closely with when any of the other members needed some good and comforting skinship, he knew as well as the other four members knew that if he were to open his mouth to try to comfort the needy with words and try to talk about how he felt about how they were feeling, that he would only make it worse...much worse. It wasn’t that he was rude or hurtful with words when he tried to understand how the other members of his band were feeling, it was just that he just wasn’t able to understand others’ emotions and feelings, no matter how much of a romantic he appeared to be.

And there was not a single person in the world that Jonghyun understood less than his drama queen of a boyfriend, Kibum. He swore that he would never be able to understand the emotional rollercoaster that Key seemed to be riding every single day of his life. He might love Key for everything that he was, but he knew he’d never be able to understand that guy’s unpredictable emotions. The poor un-understanding and ignorant older of the couple would always confuse Key’s “Get the hell away from me” face, and his “Snuggle, smother, and shower me with kisses!” face, and end up with a fist in his mouth.

And it just so happened that on this late September evening, Jonghyun had made the same mistake that he had been making every time that Key had one of his signature diva-emotion PMS sessions. And, this September evening was definitely not the September evening that Jonghyun would have ever wanted to piss Key off. This September evening happened to be their three-month anniversary, and when Jonghyun noticed the way that Key let out an agitated scream as he stormed his way into the dorm room after his solo photo-shoot raging about their manager and the photographer and the whole rest of the world, he had made the fatal mistake of thinking that the sharp glance that Key had shot him while making his way to the shower room was a plead to be snuggled and smothered on their special day. Fatal mistake. Truly unfortunate and fatal mistake.

Jonghyun smiled as Key shot an angry and exhausted glance as he stomped into the dorm. That was definitely a “snuggle me” glance. Definitely. He smiled more cockily as he began to stride towards the bathroom confidently, proud of himself, the great comforting boyfriend of soothing smoothness, who was setting off to snuggle and calm his beautiful but upset damsel in distress, who would then in turn shower him with praise and love, and then later give him some good loving as a repayment for his good deeds....
Well, that’s what would have happened if the poor older boy had known that it was a “Get the hell away from me” glance, and not the latter. Jonghyun, however, just kept his confident smile as he pushed open the bathroom door and strode right in after Key.

Key stopped mid-action of taking off his shirt to get in the shower, and glanced over his shoulder rather shocked as Jonghyun pushed open the door easily and seemed to confidently stride into the bathroom after him.

“What the hell, Jonghyun? What the hell happened to knocking? Thank god I had my pants still on.” Key snapped harshly as he glared at his boyfriend.

The oblivious one only smiled before shutting the door behind him and walking behind Key before slowly wrapping his strong arms around the younger boy’s thin waist, and holding his high hipbones, snuggling the taller of the two in his chest before gently kissing the crook of Key’s neck comfortingly.

“I missed you today...” Jonghyun whispered softly into Key’s ear as he continued to hold him tightly.

Key, however, seemed to shutter at the closeness and become irritated with the feeling of Jonghyun’s breath on his neck before quickly wriggling around his grasp. “Get off of me...” He growled after a moment, warningly.

Jonghyun smiled as he hugged his needed to be adored boyfriend closer to him and began to softly trace kisses across his ear ticklishly. “Today’s our three-month anniversary, isn’t it? I missed the amazing you a lot while you were away at the photo-shoot, Baby...” He added, after a moment. Key always liked to be told how wonderful and amazing he was, and it always made him feel better.

“Seriously, Jonghyun, get off of me already! Why the hell do you always have to be so touchy!? God, it’s annoying! Get off! Stop smothering me already! Why do you always have to be such a pain!? Let go!” Key finally snapped, wriggling in Jonghyun’s arms until he was nearly free.

Jonghyun, being the rather dense boy that he was, only saw the harsh words as Key’s normal “hard to get” act, and smiled happier as he held him tighter against him and snuggled his head in the crook of his neck, thinking that Key was only asking for more every time he told him to “get the hell off of him”.

“I love you too, Key. Don’t worry, I won’t let go of you.” He answered happily, as he began playing with Key’s ear, smiling as he watched the way the light reflected off of his earring.

With this Key reached the maximum level of annoyance as Jonghyun continued to smother him to death and invade his personal space when he already commanded for him to get the hell off of him because he wanted to be alone. He growled something angrily as he hastily rose his boney elbow to forehead level before quickly driving in into Jonghyun’s stomach harshly. “I said get off of me already, dammit!” He yelled as he did so.

Jonghyun’s arms were immediately unlatched from around Key’s waist and he fell forwards, slumping against his own waist as he continued to hold tightly onto his damaged ribs and gut. “What-the-SHIT???” He finally managed to scream out.

Key let out a flustered breath as he quickly yanked himself away from Jonghyun and glared angrily at the moaning ball-of-pain that he had made of his boyfriend. “I told you to get the hell off! You never listen! I’m so sick and tried of you always feeling all over me when I tell you the get off! You always do it on purpose! You always smother me to the point to where I can’t even freakin’ breathe, even when I tell you to let go of me and leave me alone! I’m so sick of it! When I tell you I want you to get the hell away from me, why the hell can’t you just respect me instead of smothering me to death!?!”

Jonghyun glanced up slowly from arching forward in pain and clutching his gut, as he looked up at Key’s angry face and returned a just-as-angry expression back at him.

“What the hell!? I was trying to freaking comfort you, you asshole!” He snapped loudly.

To this, Key only made a snort and some sort of face before coming back with his answer. “You could tell I was in a bad mood! Who the hell wants to be smothered when they’re in a bad mood!?”

“You’re always in a bad mood!”

“Oh! So now this is my fault!? Oh, poor innocent Jonghyunnie never does anything wrong! Big bad Kibum is making everything up again, isn’t he!?! Now this is all my fault, because I’m always in a bad mood! I understand now! Jonghyun does absolutely nothing wrong, he’s the poor innocent one who always has to deal with Kibum’s terrible terrible mood, right!? Key doesn’t have a right to have emotions too???”

Jonghyun stopped arching and let go of his stomach, too angry to remember how much pain he was currently in. “You know what? I’m so tired of your mood swings all the time! I can’t ever do anything right, no matter what the hell I do! You know I really wonder if this relationship’s going to make it past a third month! I really can’t stand you sometimes! You’re so bipolar and annoying! You’re such a spoiled and selfish little diva sometimes, I’m so sick of it!!” He yelled, his words coming out louder and harsher than he had meant for them to ever come.

Key stopped completely as the words escaped Jonghyun’s mouth, and his eyes went wide. Jonghyun stopped completely too, as he realized what he said, and looked back at him quickly, eyes flashing with an apologetic stare.

“I-I didn’t mean that! I really didn’t mean to-” He started to explain, but he was cut off by Key’s furious fists pounding against his chest as he was pushed towards the door again.

“GET OUT! GET THE HELL OUT! I HATE YOU! I FREAKING HATE YOU, KIM JONGHYUN! GET OOOUT!!!” Key’s furious voice sounded, although Jonghyun could already see tears starting up in the younger boy’s eyes.

“N-no, wait, Kibum, clam down! I didn’t mean to say that! I didn’t mean that!” Jonghyun started to frantically sputter as he watched the tears building and building in Key’s eyes, as the younger boy continued pounding on his chest as he pushed him against the door.

“If you hate me so much, than don’t be in a relationship with me anymore! I freaking hate you, Jonghyun! I hate you!!! Count this as the three-month anniversary of when we got together, and the first day anniversary of when we broke up! I HATE YOU!” Key screamed loudly, as he flung open the door and (literally) kicked Jonghyun outside of it.

Jonghyun stumbled out of the bathroom as he was kicked out of it, and struggled to catch himself without doing a face plant before quickly turning and running towards the bathroom door again. “Kibum! (Shit...!) Kibum!! I didn’t mean that! Let me back in! (Oh c’mooon Kibum....) I didn’t mean what I said!! Kibum! Freakin’....I love you! Get back here!!” He yelled loudly, staring at the door.

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” Was the only reply from Key before the shower turned on and Jonghyun’s yells were silenced by the pounding off the falling water against Key’s still clothed shoulders as tears fell down his cheeks.

Jonghyun made a furious noise as he threw his hands in the air and spun on his heel in a tight circle towards the living room of the dorm again, too frustrated and just too angry to even think about trying to scream apologies to a locked door, trying to scream over a running shower. How the hell did he turn into the bad guy here?? He was the victim here! Why was it always Key who looked liked the poor abused one? Of course he didn’t mean what he had said about Key being a spoiled and selfish diva! He was just so mad when the words slipped out that he had spoken something that he had never once felt. But it was too late now. Key hated him. No, he “freaking” hated him, which somehow made it even worse. And, now he lost his boyfriend and best friend on the three month anniversary of when they had fist gotten together because he had chosen the wrong time to be affectionate. How could this possibly be fair?

Suddenly, Jonghyun’s thoughts were cut off by the shocked and innocent eyes of SHINee’s maknae, staring up at him with such worry and fear that he looked exactly like an innocent five year old who had just experienced his umma and appa in a full on voice-raised fight for the first time in his life. Of course, the little one’s light voice and big eyes didn’t help when he asked him his question, either.

“H-Hyung...are you and Key-hyung fighting with each other...?” Taemin asked quietly, eyebrows arched like upside-down crescents on his forehead, eyes shining with fear and worry for his hyungs’ relationship.

Jonghyun nearly fell over with guilt as he looked at how scared he had made his maknae look, and with the fact that he suddenly felt like a guilty father whose son had just asked him if he was going to leave him and his umma for good this time. He glanced away from the cute face of Taemin before scratching the not-itchy back of his head nervously.

“Ughn...we won’t stay mad for each other for long, I-I’m sure...” He muttered after a moment, staring off into the farthest corner of the shared dorm’s ceiling.

Taemin made an uneasy face before glancing down, sticking out his lips with some sort of pout. “B-but Key-hyung sounded really angry this time. Something bad must have happened between you guys to make Hyung sound so upset this time...what happened?” He asked, after a moment.

Jonghyun let out an agitated groan before rolling his eyes and staring off into the farthest corner again. “I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s all Kibum and his unpredictable and completely non-understandable mood swings! I swear I’ll never understand that guy! All I did was try to comfort him and he elbowed me to high hell in the gut and screamed for me to get the hell off of him! I was just trying to comfort him too!” He began to rampage again.

Taemin twisted his lips in thought as he glanced back towards the shower. He could also tell that Key had been in a bad mood when he got home (the cursing and ranting about anything and everything was a pretty obvious indication), and he noticed that Jonghyun immediately went to comfort him. In that way, Jonghyun was no way in the wrong. It was just his darned stubbornness. Taemin wasn’t too shy to admit that his Hyung was incurably stubborn and never saw himself in the wrong unless it was entirely and undeniably only his fault. Maybe Jonghyun had just over-reacted to Key’s over-reaction.

“Omm, maybe Key-hyung was just in a bad mood and didn’t want to be comforted at the moment, Hyung. You know, like when you have a bad day or are really stressed and the feeling of being held or constricted in a small place makes you frustrated. You know Key-hyung always hasn’t been the touchy type...” Taemin tried, after a moment.

Jonghyun glared at the bathroom door again as the noise of the shower continued. “Who the hell doesn’t like skinship? Is he vampire? I swear, Taemin, I’m just too sick of his mood swings. Even if he was in one of those moods, he doesn’t have to elbow me in the stomach and be so intolerable! I swear, I’ll never be able to understand him, so why do I even try sometimes? I’ll never be good enough for him, even if I followed his every order like a servant! I’ll never be able to understand what that guy thinks about!” He complained.

Taemin made a face with thought as he sat on the armrest of the trashed black leather couch and swung his legs around in the air as he thought about something. As an idea came to his mind, he smiled with his hundred-starred smile and looked back at Jonghyun.

“Maybe you should try putting yourself in Key-hyung’s shoes, Hyung! If you try to see things from his point of view, and pretend that you were him at that moment (or, really any of your other fights), perhaps you’ll be able to understand where he was coming from and be able to understand Hyung’s emotions better!” He finally said happily, shortly after snapping his fingers as he finalized his thought.

Jonghyun crossed his arms and held his breath stubbornly. “Who wants to be in his shoes? Who wants to be a totally un-understandable, bipolar drama queen all the time? I don’t even think he thinks half the time, and runs completely off of pure emotion.” He growled.

Taemin growled quietly before glaring at his hyung. His so very stubborn hyung. His so very and completely stubborn hyung who really needed to learn how to see past the things that only interested and benefited himself. Taemin knew that if Jonghyun and Key’s relationship was ever going to work out, something had to be done about Jonghyun’s lack of understanding towards Key, and Key’s tendency to take Jonghyun’s comfort and kindness for granted. This was to be his job, as Taemin self-appointed. He would fix his hyungs’ relationship no matter what, and he was to start with making Jonghyun understand Key better.

“You’re going to try it, Hyung! I won’t let you refuse! You’re going to start looking at things from Key-hyung’s point of view and start being more considerate to his feelings, whether you want to or not!!” The appeared-to-be innocent and harmless maknae suddenly snapped stubbornly.

Jonghyun looked up quickly, surprised to hear the order that the little and seemingly adorable Taemin had just barked ruthlessly at him (he knew that Taemin wasn’t as innocent and sweet-hearted as everyone [especially Onew-hyung] had cracked him up to be).

Taemin kept his stubborn expression before quickly leaping off of the armrest on which he had been sitting, and snatching Jonghyun’s hand, yanking him forward to some place in an attempt to make his point.

“Now, imagine that you were Key-hyung, and you had a terrible and stressful day.” Taemin instructed as he led Jonghyun to the door. “Okay, imagine that you are really stressed out and feel hot and restricted. What would you want when you finally managed to come home after the end of a hard day?”

Jonghyun crossed his arms stubbornly and ignored Taemin’s attempt to make him understand Key, being too stubborn to admit to be wrong about his assumption of Key wanting his skinship.

“I would want my amazing and sexy boyfriend Jonghyun to come take care of me with good old-fashion skinship. Which is what I tried to do! I didn’t do anything wrong, Taemin! Stop making it sound like I did!” He snapped stubbornly, after a moment.

Taemin made a frustrated pout at him before crossing his arms and glaring at him. “I want you to seriously try, Hyuuung! If you stay so stubborn all the time, there’s no way that you’ll be able to stay in your relationship with Key-hyung!” He whined.

Jonghyun rolled his eyes at this. “According to him we’re already through. Just ask him yourself, he broke up with me already today. Anyway, what do you want me to do? Start thinking more like Kibum...so I should start straightening my hair and putting on crazy amounts eye-makeup every day? Fine, I’ll try it, if that’s what you want! It’s never going to help! Kim Kibum is un-understandable and intolerable!!” He snapped, becoming less and less understanding as he continued to become more and more annoyed with the fact that Kibum had already said that they were through.

Taemin stared at his Hyung with large and disappointed eyes as Jonghyun began stubbornly stomping towards the now empty bathroom, ranting about Key and all his mood-swings. Jonghyun really didn’t understand what Taemin had been trying so hard to make him understand. He knew that Jonghyun was stressed because Key had broken up with him on their anniversary, and that Jonghyun didn’t mean what he said about Key at all. He knew that Jonghyun really loved Key, and that was why he was so upset. But he truly was acting even more intolerable than what he had been saying that Key was. He was so stubborn.

Jonghyun continued ranting on and on about Key as he made his way into the bathroom, still apparently talking to Taemin, but leaving the younger in his dust as he continued on his way into the bathroom quickly, and only ended up ranting to himself as he began going through the armoire in the bathroom, searching for Key’s prized possessions of his eye-liner and hair-straightener.

“All he ever does is complain about what a pain I am! What does that guy even want? Hell, I’d kill to know what goes through that diva’s head sometimes! I can’t even begin to imagine what that guy thinks about-” He continued ranting as he pulled out the hair-straighter, accidently dropping the prongs of the plug into the puddle of water that Key had left as he got out of the shower. However, Jonghyun was too annoyed and stubborn to realize this and only picked it back up and held it up to the electrical socket.

“It’s always, Jonghyun, why do you have to be such a pain, or why do you have to be so touchy, why do you have to be so loud, why are you so annoying? Complain this, complain tha-aghhannnngggg!” Jonghyun screamed as he plugged in the straightener.

Taemin glanced up quickly as he heard his hyung scream before quickly running into bathroom only in time to see Jonghyun get shocked by the outlet and fall over. “HYUNG!!!” He screamed quickly, as he ran to Jonghyun’s side.

~ : ) ~ : ( ~ 8] ~ x[ ~ -^_^- ~ =_=” ~ xD ~ T^T ~ 0,o ~ :0 ~ : ) ~ : ) ~ : ( ~ 8] ~ x[ ~ -^_^- ~ =_=” ~ xD ~ T^T ~ 0,o ~ :0

“Oh crap!! I killed him!!! Oh! O-oh, holy crap!! I killed him!!!” Taemin’s voice sounded echoing the soreness of Jonghyun’s mind.

Jonghyun reopened his eyes slowly as he began to dizzily look around him, his vision slightly blurred; head too sore to try to wonder how he had managed to wind up in the shared bedroom of the dorm, lied out on the bed with blankets draped over him, and why his body felt as if he had a hundred volts of electricity running through his veins. The last thing he remembered was ranting about Key and trying to plug in the hair straightener. Suddenly, the memory of electricity shocking through his bones up his arm as he plugged in the wet metal prongs into the outlet returned to him. He shuttered a little at the memory before slowly glancing in front of him, as he found that Taemin was pacing around the bedroom in front of the bed, with the door locked behind the two.

“Oooh, I killed Jonghyun-hyung!!! What am I going to do? What’s going to happen to me?? I’m a murderer!! What am I going to do!? I can’t believe I killed Jonghyun-hyung! I didn’t mean to! I didn’t know he’d get electrocuted! I was only trying to help! Oooh! I’m going to go to jail! I’m a murderer! Oooh, I don’t want to go to jail! What am I going to do??”

Taemin’s voice sounded clearly in Jonghyun’s ears, as he continued to make tight circles around the bedroom, gnawing on his knuckles in an attempt to stay calm. Although at fist Jonghyun sat and wondered how it was that Taemin’s stressed voice sounded so loudly and clearly in his ears, even though he was gnawing on his knuckles and not even moving his lips (why wasn’t his voice muffled sounding?), Jonghyun didn’t say anything, and stayed laying in bed.

“I don’t want to go to jail!! I’m innocent! It was involuntary man-slaughter-th-that means I can’t go to jail right? I-if I didn’t plan it-that means there was no malice-aforethought, right? B-but, I go still go to jail for causing his death!! Ahh, Jonghyun-hyung, I didn’t want to kill you! I didn’t mean to!!” Taemin’s voice continued to pour into Jonghyun’s ears (since when did he start talking to himself so much? And why loudly? Shouldn’t this rather be thought, not said loudly for everyone to hear? Taemin had never been this senseless before. He would make a really bad murderer.), as he paced around the room.

“What should I do? Key-hyung will kill me (well, if he doesn’t praise me...)! N-no, Onew-hyung will kill me! I didn’t mean to kill Hyung!! What should I do? Should I tell someone? I could tell Minho-hyung. Minho-hyung doesn’t talk much anyway, he would keep it a secret for me right? Maybe if I hugged and kissed and really begged him-” Jonghyun twitched a little at the strange image that Taemin had given him (“Good god Taemin, keep those things in your head! You kissing Minho, ugh, that’s disgusting!” Jonghyun couldn’t help but think), before finally cutting him off.

“Taemin...?”

Taemin’s eyes went huge and his face flushed completely white before screaming and falling onto his knees, bowing to the sky, looking like he was pleading or begging the heavens. “Jonghyun-hyuuung!! I’m so sorry!! Oh! Oh! I didn’t mean to kill you! I’m so sorry!! Please don’t avenge on me! I didn’t mean to! I was trying to help you! Please don’t kill me too! I didn’t mean toooo~~~” The young boy screamed, as he bowed continuously.

Jonghyun sniggered to himself as he thought about the fun he could have if he managed to convince Taemin that he was a vengeful ghost who was trying to get vengeance for killing him for a moment, before trying to clear his head. After fighting so much with Key, Jonghyun didn’t really have the motivation to try to pull it off. Not to mention, when they fought, Key would always ruin all of Jonghyun’s pranks on the other members, rather bluntly.

“Taemin...I’m not dead. I’m up here.” Jonghyun muttered after a moment, sitting up on the bed.

Taemin raised his head from his prayer and begging before looking back at Jonghyun with big eyes. “H-Hyung? Y-you’re not dead??” He stuttered.

Jonghyun nodded.

Taemin blinked a few times. “Th-that means you’re alive?”

Jonghyun seemed a little confused but nodded again.

“That means I didn’t kill you?”

Jonghyun nodded again.

Taemin smiled happily before quickly attacking and hugging his hyung tightly and happily. “I’m so relieved, Hyuuung!!!” He sang, but after a moment glanced down at the blanket for a moment and seemed to make some sort of disappointed pout. “Ohhh, but the suspense of being a murderer was kind of thrilling...”

Jonghyun stopped completely as he heard Taemin’s voice. “Wh-what the hell?” He stuttered, after a moment. What he had just seen and what he had just heard completely contradicted each other, and not that it was just that he just saw and heard the cute and innocent looking Taemin say a surprisingly dark and rather concerning comment.

What Jonghyun had seen, was Taemin glancing down and making a slight pout, but his mouth did not move at all. However, what he heard was Taemin’s crystal-clear voice at a perfectly volumed level, without even the slightest bit of muffledness or mutter in his tone (even though anyone would have muttered that type of comment).

“W-w-wait, Taemin, say what you just said again...” Jonghyun stuttered after a moment, eyes rather large (maybe the electricity had messed up his vision).

Taemin glanced up from his thought before looking back at Jonghyun confusedly. “Hn? That I’m so relieved that you’re okay, Hyung?” He asked, after a moment. “What’s all this about?”

Jonghyun’s eyes went even wider as he noticed that Taemin’s second question did not sync with his lips, for his lips did not make any motion to form the words. He grasped his forehead tightly and shook his head, trying his best to remain clam and try to understand what this was about.

“N-no, about the suspense of being a murder being kind of thrilling...say that again.” Jonghyun muttered, after a moment, staring at Taemin’s rosy lips, waiting for the maknae to form the words to his reply.

“H-h-huh!? Wh-what are you talking about, Hyung??” Taemin’s voice echoed, as his lips formed each word. “Crap, did I say that out loud???”

Jonghyun nearly fell over as the last sentence that he had just heard escape from Taemin’s mouth was not formed by his lips. “What the hell is going on!?” Jonghyun screamed, after a moment.

Taemin nearly fell over backwards, off of the bed, at the shock of Jonghyun’s sudden loud scream. The fact that his hyung seemed to manage to guess his thoughts was not only terrorizing enough, but the fact that Jonghyun screamed so suddenly and loudly nearly gave him a heart attack.

“Wh-what’s the matter, Hyung? What’s going on??” He asked quickly. “Don’t tell me that when you shocked yourself, you managed to fry what was left of your brain-cells! Then Onew-hyung, Key-hyung AND Minho-hyung would ALL kill me!!” He thought.

Jonghyun looked up quickly, upon hearing Taemin’s perfectly volumed and offensive comment, momentarily forgetting that Taemin’s lips didn’t form the words as they came from his mouth. “What do you mean, what’s left of my brain-cells!?!” The hothead snapped quickly. “Are you implying that I’m dumb!?”

Taemin looked up quickly, eyes huge and flashing with concern. “H-hyung! H-how could you hear that!? I never said that before in my life-I-I’ve only thought it!” He asked quickly. “This is terrorizing, it’s like Jonghyun-hyung can read my mind!”

Jonghyun continued to stare at Taemin. There was no way! This wasn’t possible. How the hell would he suddenly be able to read people’s minds? There’s was no logical way (since when did he start paying attention to logic?). It was physically impossible. This must be a dream. Yes. He must be dreaming. And there was a way to prove it.

“Taemin, pinch me!” He said, quickly.

Taemin glanced up from his freakout before looking back at Jonghyun with much confusion in his eyes. “H-huh? Pinch you? Wh-what are you talking about, Hyung?” He asked, after a moment.

Jonghyun kept staring at him. “This has to be a dream right? One, it’s bad enough for Kibum to dump me. Two, I wouldn’t be so stupid as to electrocute myself, and three, reading minds is impossible!” He said, quickly.

Taemin glanced down as he heard Jonghyun say “I wouldn’t be so stupid as to electrocute myself”, and without even considering the fact that Jonghyun might be able to hear him thought “No offense, but...yes you would, Hyung.”

This caused for Jonghyun to look up quickly and angrily. “Yah! Now I know what you really think of me! You really think I’m a stupid idiot! You! You’re not cute and innocent like you try to fool everyone, you poser!!” He snapped angrily, coming towards Taemin with a (jokingly) clenched fist.

Taemin shrieked at the sight of the fist and at the fact that Jonghyun had somehow managed to read his mind again, before quickly grabbing Jonghyun’s arm and tightly pinching the tight skin on his wrist bone between his nails.

Jonghyun shrieked with the pain of Taemin’s tight and sharp pinch and yanked his wrist away from Taemin’s evil grasp quickly (the more time he spent alone with this kid the less he thought of him innocent), before bringing it to his chest, rubbing it gently and shielding it from Taemin’s nails again.

“Oowhyu!” He screamed the pinch. “That really, really hurt!! What the hell was that for!?” He questioned, as he cradled his abused wrist.

Taemin made an apologetic face before quickly bowing his head. “I’m sorry, Hyung! It’s just that you told me to, and I really wanted to see if you were dreaming or not! Maybe I’m the one dreaming, I should pinch myself as well!” He said quickly, before pinching himself (of course a little less hard than he had done on Jonghyun).

Jonghyun seemed to nod with agreement of Taemin’s logic before staring at Taemin’s wrist as he pinched himself. However, this only caused for Taemin to wince slightly with pain, before looking up at Jonghyun with huge eyes.

“H-Hyung, it hurt. Th-this means neither of us are dreaming, right??” Taemin asked, after a moment, his voice in some sort of awestruck gasp.

Jonghyun thought for a moment before finally getting an idea. “Hurry, think of a number between one and ten!” He said, quickly.

Taemin nodded quickly. “Okay!” He said, beginning to think of the last number that Jonghyun might possibly think of, but couldn’t help but think, “One and ten? Isn’t that a little too easy, Hyung? Something so easily guessed obviously won’t prove anything. Hyung has at least a one-in-ten chance.”

“Okay, if you think that way, make it one in a thousand!!” Jonghyun snapped after a moment. “If you’re going to be thinking hateful things about me, you might as well say them out loud so you can hear how they sound!”

Taemin gasped as Jonghyun read his mind again, but quickly thought of the strangest number that anyone could think of. “I’m sorry, Hyung!!” He added. “Geez, it’s like my mind isn’t safe anymore! Jonghyun-hyung can hear every thought that runs through my mind! This could be dangerous...oh, the number! Right...ugh...eighty-two-million-twenty-thousand-six-hundred-seventy-five-point six, six, six, seven, one.” He thought.

Jonghyun stared at Taemin’s lips as he heard the voice, but Taemin made no effort to make it. This was either the most terrifying or awesome thing that had ever happened to him before. If he could read Taemin’s mind, couldn’t he read other people’s minds too? He was like a superhero all of a sudden! He could totally use this to his advantage.

“Eighty-two-million-twenty-thousand-six-hundred-seventy-five-point six, six, six, seven, one. Taemin, this really proves it, I can read people’s minds!!” He said, quickly.

Taemin kept his eyes on Jonghyun as he began to cope with the physically impossible ability that his Hyung had just proven to possess. “H-hyung...what do you think you’re going to do with this power? I mean, what are you going to use it for?” He asked, after a moment.

Jonghyun shrugged and thought for a moment. “I dunno. Maybe I’ll rub some money off of Onew for a while...no, wait, I should rub some off of Minho instead! He’s so competitive, he hates losing things. No matter how many times I bet him and win, he’ll keep trying to win, and betting me until he finally succeeds-(which will be never). I’ll be rich in a week!” He said, after a moment.

Taemin glanced down slowly and made a twisted pout with his lips before running his shoe across the carpet. “Geez, Jonghyun-hyung has the ability to really become a real life Superman, b-but the way he’s using it...it’s like he could be an evil super-villain...is...Hyung really evil? (Has Key-hyung been right all this time?)” He thought slowly.

Jonghyun opened his mouth to tell Taemin off, and try to defend himself from being called evil super-villain, when all of a sudden, an angelic song of four little birdies sang completely in sync in an angelic tune, interrupting him from his self defense.

“TAEMIIIN! STOP SPENDING TIME WITH THAT CORRUPTED BASTARD AND COME WASH UP FOR DINNER!!!” Key’s less-than angelic voice screeched loudly from the kitchen.

Jonghyun stopped utterly and completely as his mind snapped with the epitome of realizations in the entire history of all realizations made by mankind. For he now possessed the power to do something that no other man in the entire world could, had, and would ever be able to do in the whole history and future of forever. Key’s thoughts. He could read them. He could clearly read every single thought that crossed Key’s utterly confusing and un-understandable mind. It was as if the whole complexity of the world of Kim Kibum had just opened its gates right in front of him and he now had the perfect bird’s eyes view of every single emotion that shot through the diva’s endless mind. Key was completely vulnerable and open to him. This meant that there was never any reason to fight again. All he would have to do to get Key to side with him was do whatever it was that he wanted him to do at that moment, and Key would worship him for being the absolute and perfect boyfriend. This was more wonderful than Jonghyun could ever have dreamed.

Jonghyun chuckled to himself contently (sounding evil to the concerned Taemin, who was still convinced that his hyung was to turn into a real life super-villain), as he thought about his perfect luck, fate and wonderful plan to make Key fall back head over heels in love with him. He smiled one more time widely before glancing back towards Taemin.

“Taeminnie, you have to promise me that you won’t tell Key about this, no matter what, okay?” He asked quickly, making sure to cover all of his plan’s weak spots first to make sure that it would not fail (somehow, when he was scheming, he became a very wise and quick thinking planner and didn’t let a single aspect slip by without being covered).

Taemin glanced up, upon hearing Jonghyun’s strange request. “Huh? Why not, Hyung? Key-hyung would be really excited about your power if he knew you had it! It seems just like something that Key-hyung would really like to have!” He asked, after a moment.

Suddenly, before Jonghyun could answer the question, there was another less-than-lovely scream from the kitchen from the growing ever-so-impatient Key in the kitchen.

“TAEMIN-AH! SERIOUSLY, COME AND GET WASHED UP THEN EAT DINNER ALREADY! I SWEAR THAT IF YOU SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WITH THAT DUMBASS, HE’LL TAINT YOUR POOR INNOCENT MIND! HURRY UP AND EAT WITH ME!” Key screamed again, from the kitchen.

Jonghyun smiled to himself, plotting his brilliant plan to get Key back in his arms, before reaching up from the bed and catching Taemin’s arm as the younger began to get up and obey Key-umma before he was scolded again for not coming when he was called.

“Taeminnie, I’m really serious. You have to do this for me! You have to tell Key that I accidently electrocuted myself while in the bathroom and that you think that I was seriously electrocuted and died! Seriously, I’ll give you five bucks if you manage to fake tears! (I’ll just bet the five back from Minho later...)” He said, quickly.

Taemin glanced back at Jonghyun quickly, surprised to hear such a request. “Omo! Jonghyun-hyung, I can’t do that to Key-hyung! I’ll make him worry about you like crazy, and when he finds out that you aren’t dead and are indeed alive and well, he’ll really kill me!” He said quickly.

Jonghyun held his breath stubbornly, but made a face as he realized how vital it was to his plan that Key had no idea about him possessing the power to read minds, especially his. If Taemin spilled it before he even had the chance to read his mind once, it’d really be the end to his amazing plan. But what could he do to bribe Taemin enough? What did kids like these days?

“FINE!” He snapped quickly, giving in a little to the maknae’s surprising stubbornness. “I’ll give you fifteen bucks and buy you a large ice-cream of whatever flavor you want from Baskin Robbins next time! If you promise that you’ll keep it a secret forever and fake some tears for me, you’ll get all of it! C’mon, Taaeeemiiinnniee!” He whined.

Taemin held his breath and looked away, obviously won over by the bribe, and took a few steps around the room thinking over what Jonghyun had offered to him.

“Fine, but it has to be rocky-road, and you have to buy some for Minho-hyung and Onew-hyung too (Oh, and Key-hyung too), and they have to be larges too!” He battered, after a moment.

Jonghyun growled at his defeat (this kid was going to make him go bankrupt before he even had to chance to win any money off of Onew and Minho), but had to accept Taemin’s ridiculous terms. (At least he knew he could win over Taemin with ice-cream though, that was useful). He sighed heavily before pulling five dollars out of his pocket and tossing it towards Taemin.

“Here’s your upfront payment.” He muttered, holding out the money. “I’ll give you a dollar a day for the next ten days as long as you keep it a secret, and buy you and Minho some ice-cream (Onew can buy his own freakin’ ice-cream. No way I’m buying my hyung anything. I’ll be nice enough to buy Minho some though, since I’m his hyung and everything) on the eleventh day. That way, you won’t conveniently forget our deal and tell Key before I at least had a chance to try this out. This should at least give me a little bit over a week.”

Taemin smiled before un-hesitantly snagging the money out of Jonghyun’s hand before looking it over and turning away towards the door again. “Don’t worry, Hyung! Minho-hyung and Onew-hyung always tell me what a good actor I am! I won’t let you down!” He said happily. “Kekeke, Hyung’s a bit of a sucker though. I would have just settled for five bucks and some ice-cream, but I managed into battering him into three times as much and some for Minho-hyung too by playing the difficult but cute maknae role again. I’ll really work hard to act for this money! Sometimes I really love being the maknae!” He thought, happily.

Jonghyun stopped completely before looking back at Taemin, eyes wide. “Yaaah! You’re totally taking advantage over the maknae name!! I can’t believe you! I’m ashamed, you guilty faker!!! I can hear everything you’re thinking, never forget it! Gimme my ten dollars back!” He screeched quickly.

Taemin glanced away innocently again before turning back towards the door. “I-I wouldn’t do that, H-Hyung...” He muttered, guiltily.

Jonghyun rolled his eyes at this (“Sure you wouldn’t, innocent and simple minded maknae. I also knew that Onew and Minho made you appear more innocent than you really are!”), but something suddenly struck his mind. “Oooh! Wait, Taeminnie! Come back!” He called quickly.

Taemin stopped mid-step towards the bedroom door and set his hand on the door knob before glancing over his shoulder at Jonghyun again.

“What is it, Hyung?” He asked, after a moment. “Are you going to offer me more money?”

Jonghyun smiled contently before flicking his hair behind his ear and away from his face and bright eyes. “I’m way too sexy for having just been electrocuted, don’t you think? I don’t look innocent and beat up enough for Key to really believe that I’ve been electrically shocked to a serious amount. Come back and punch me real quick.” He said, after a moment.

Taemin stopped completely and turned around slowly, staring at Jonghyun with huge and shocked (and yet, almost excited) eyes. “Wh-what?” He stuttered.

Jonghyun glanced back at himself in the shared bedroom’s mirror before glancing back towards Taemin again, and smiling contently at Taemin’s shock.

“Try punching my face for me. I would do it myself, but it would be too obvious if my fist was bruised too. I need to look more injured so that Key will believe that I’m dead.” Jonghyun replied.

Taemin’s eyes stayed wide and he didn’t move as he slowly glanced down at his fist at his side. “P-punch Jonghyun-hyung? C-could I really do that? N-no way, I would be too afraid that I would hurt him! There’s no way I’d let myself hurt Hyung! B-but, then again, it’s not like I’ve never wanted to or thought about it before. Now might actually be the only chance I ever get....oh crap! Jonghyun-hyung! You can hear me, can’t you!?!” He thought quickly.

Jonghyun whimpered at his hurt heart before looking back at Taemin sharply. “What the hell do you mean you’ve thought about and wanted to punch me before!?! Gaaaawd, the more time I spend alone with you, Taemin, the more I become very scared of you! Do Onew and Minho know how dark you really are?” He asked, after a moment.

Taemin glanced back down at the carpet guiltily after a moment and slowly run his baby-blue house slipper against the carpet of the shared dorm room, trying his best not to think anything that Jonghyun would be able to hear and accuse him of being dark-minded again. But...he couldn’t help the fact that he was interested by the idea of getting to punch his hyung. It wasn’t that he wanted to hurt him, or anything. Taemin was still sweet hearted and happy-minded. It was just that he had always been the maknae around everyone for as long as he could remember, and the idea to get to get to act up and tough was an interesting idea.

“U-ughnm...Hyung, are you sure about me punching you? I-I mean, I don’t want to hurt you at all, but it’s just that if it will help you and Key-hyung get back together again, I wouldn’t mind helping...” He muttered, after a moment.

Jonghyun snorted to himself and rolled his eyes, looking away from Taemin. “Sure, more like you want to punch me...keep acting innocent Taeminnie...” He thought, slowly.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Hit me with your best shot, Taeminnie. I want to look really pitiful at first so Key will really think that you killed me.” Jonghyun answered, after a moment of staring at the maknae’s thin and frail-looking arms and thinking to himself how it wouldn't hurt at all, even if Taemin went insane on him.

Taemin glanced down and seemed to twist his lips while considering something, and didn’t say anything, just continued to stand next to the bed and Jonghyun and stare down at his house-slippers.

Jonghyun glanced towards the door leading towards the kitchen before glancing towards the clock on the bedside table. “C’mon, Tae-ah, Key’s called for you dinner a million times, so if you don’t go soon he’ll come in here on his own. You gotta hurry and pun-angk!” He was cut off by Taemin’s fist slamming into his mouth with impressively unexpected strength.

Taemin’s eyes widened as he quickly removed his fist from Jonghyun’s mouth. “Ah! Hyung, are you okay? I didn’t punch you too hard did I!?! I didn’t mean to hurt you! Maybe this was a bad idea!” He stuttered out quickly, however, he couldn’t help thinking “Keke, that was a little fun though...”

Jonghyun rubbed his chin slowly, hardly able to cope with all the force that the small, innocent-looking, frail, skinny and generally weak Taemin had just delivered in his punch. Who would have thought that someone like Taemin could throw punches like that? “Remind me never to piss Taemin off...” He couldn’t help but think.

Suddenly, there was another loud and agitated call from the kitchen that caused Jonghyun to stop thinking about the surprising pain in his jaw, and look up quickly.

“TAEMIN, I’M SERIOUS, DON’T LISTEN TO ANYTHING THAT CORRUPT BASTARD SAYS! I’VE CALLED YOU FOR DINNER FOUR TIMES ALREADY, COME AND EAT! IT’S GETTING COLD!!” Key’s voice screeched.

Taemin glanced up and back towards the kitchen, nipping his tongue in fear of the terrible scolding that Key would surely give him if he didn’t come when he was called again (Key really did serve as the umma of the group, ever since all five of them had moved into the same dorm together).

“O-oh! I’ll go tell Key-hyung now then, Jonghyun-hyung!” Taemin said, after a moment. “Don’t worry, your money wasn’t spent in vain, I’ll give it my all and do a great job!!” He sang happily.

Jonghyun nodded before ruffling his already ruffled hair in hopes to make himself appear more electrified. “Make your tears believable, Taeminnie! I’m putting everything on you and I really want Key to truly believe that I died or came damn close to it! Cry hard! Do you need me to pinch you?” He asked, after a moment.

Taemin shook his head furiously before leaping backwards a little. “No!! That’s fine! I can do it without being pinched! Thanks for the offer!” He said quickly, seeing the gleefully-evil spark in his hyung’s eyes. “I’m going to go now!!” He added, before quickly slipping out of the door so that Jonghyun couldn’t try to pinch him.

Jonghyun let out a breath before flopping backwards onto the bed again, closing his eyes and holding his breath for as long as he could in hopes to make his face appear flushed and oxygen deprived. He was really leaving everything up to Taemin, and he was relying on a good act in order to get to hear Key’s real thoughts about him. He let out a breath slowly before laying still, listening the best he could if he could hear anything that was going on in the other room, and trying to see if he could catch the sound of what Key was saying or thinking.
~~~

Unfortunately, this entry was too long to post as one, so here's the rest of the parts! Sorry for the inconvenience!

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